I am Your Life
by aUgOuX
Summary: The two teens felt well. Whole. They were filled with sweet moments. They never know that there had been any hole in their chest. They were perfect-not healed, but as if there had been a wound in the first place.
1. Awake

**zup guys, this is my very first chap of I am Your Life, hope you like it! and remember, don't forget to read/review...TCCIC**

"Big brother, wake up…it's time for school," Shinya pressed his fingers his nose.

"No…" Takuya answered, not opening his eyes and put his pillow below him.

"I don't wanna be late because of you!" He left the room and came back with one glass of cold water. He removed the pillow on him and poured the water to him.

Takuya's eyelids popping wide open—and gasped.

"Blast! I'm awake!" He panted.

"Good," Shinya sighed. "Then good morning sleeping _beauty! _Rise and shine sleepy head! Breakfast's ready!" He jumped out of his room.

He went to brush his teeth. He finished his pancakes quickly then hurried to get out of the house.

"I can't wait to get into class!" Shinya stretched while they walk to school.

"School is boring."

"You better study hard, big brother, because you don't know what you're missing."

He struggled as he got to school.

Nobody looked at Takuya as he took his seat in the back of the classroom with his friends including Koji, Koichi and JP. He sat at their usual table for lunch—extreme southern end of the table. On the afternoon, Takuya received an F from his History class.

"That's so unfair, Mr. Rose!" He complained to the bold-haired man. "I mean—I totally read this about before the test. I even read it with feelings! World War I was a military conflict that lasted from 1914 to 1918. Where did I go wrong?!"

"My grade is final," Mr. Rose walked away from Takuya.

"At least I have a hair," Takuya said on his back.

Mr. Rose paused and turned around furiously. "Mr. Kanbara!"

"Yeah, I'm used to it," Takuya quickly said.

Takuya walked at detention lazily. He sat at his usual seat at the back. And waited thirty minutes till' he gets out of the room.

During English class, he was moping at his desk while waiting for their teacher who was called by their Principal.

"Stay away from me," warned Zoe, his friend of his but they usually ignore each other.

"Don't be like that, sugar," their greatest bully in class, Austin, called, and laughed.

Zoe shoved Austin away from her then he pulled her wrists beside her.

"Hey, just let it go, dude," Takuya commanded.

"Back off!" He said.

"Pick on someone's your own size, will ya?"

"Oh, step off crazy, stupid, annoying boy!"

"Uh-oh…" Koji said.

"Will you please call me that again?" Takuya bit his lips.

"Toot-Toot!" He whistled.

Takuya's arm shot out and the back of his hand smashed into the side of Austin's face. The blow was so hard that Austin's feet left the ground before the rest of his body hit the floor. His eyes rolled back in his head, and left him unconscious.

"Okay, okay," a grown-up voice said in an oddly cheery voice as she circled Takuya and faced came to Austin. "I'm here. What have we got?" It was their teacher, Ms. Parker. "A boy who smacked the bully's face?"

"Ms. Parker, let me explain," Takuya tried to say.

"Oh you will explain, later at the detention!" Ms. Parker snapped. "Now, everybody go back to your seat! And Max, take Austin to the clinic," She commanded.

After Takuya's detention time passed quickly. As he went outside of the detention room, he accidently bumped to someone. She seemed to be running but Takuya didn't fell on his feet unlike her. Takuya heard her books fell down. Before she also fell down he pulled her hand to him.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," she quickly apologized then they met their eyes.

Zoe took Takuya by surprise, he rapidly let go of her hand. Her golden hair, waving to the side of her shoulders, her emerald eyes shining, and sweet voice.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Great," as she picked up her books. Takuya helped her and he found a guitar's pick.

"You play guitar?" he asked, interested.

"A lot at home, you know Paramore?"

"They rule," he smirked.

"Anyways, I'm sorry for getting you into trouble and thank you for standing up for me."

"It's okay, I'm used to it anyway."

"This is awkward…we've never talked this much," she chuckled.

"So I'll see you when I see ya."

No reply so he immediately went outside of the building meeting his little brother.

"Koji told me that you got detention twice this time," Shinya said while they were walking to their house.

"I know."

"Don't worry, I won't tell Mom, as usual."

"Even if you don't tell her, Mr. Rose can call her anytime."

"Wow, you've got an explaining to do later."

"It's going to be like taking a candy away from you."

"Ha. I'm laughing," Takuya patted Shinya's head.

When they got home, Shinya went upstairs while Takuya stayed down stairs and went to the kitchen.

"What is it this time?" Her Mom asked. "Mr. Rose told me that you got detention twice today."

"First, I complained him about me getting an F. And second, Austin started the fight, not me. End of story, Mom!"

"Not done. You got an F?! That's what you get for not reading your books," she scolded.

"I read my History Book all day, night long. I was sure about my answers for the first time, for the first time!" he repeated. "Austin was bullying at my classmate, I only stood up for her.

"Well, I think you should mind your own business. Your classmate's business is none of your business."

"She is _my _business!"

"What?"

"I mean—whatever." Her mother could see him blushing.

When he got upstairs, Shinya was forcing himself not to laugh from what he had heard.

"She is my business," Shinya laughed as he mocked his big brother. "I'm Zoe, kiss me, I'm Zoe!"

"Will ya shut up?" He groaned.

"Trouble maker." He teased.

"Well, at least, I'm not a bully, little monster."

"Good point."

One night, Takuya meandered the streets, which were filling up with the end-of-the-workday traffic and hoped he was headed toward downtown. He stomped along in a southerly direction, toward some glass-fronted shops that looked promising. But when he got to them, they were repair shop and vacant space. He decided to turn east at the next corner, and then loop around after few blocks.

He saw a group of four men cornering someone. They were joking loudly among themselves, laughing raucously and punching each other's arms.

"Hey, there!" one of them called. The girl, it was Zoe, she glanced up automatically. Two of them had paused.

"Hello," she mumbled, then she quickly looked away and walked fasted toward the corner. They followed her and so is Takuya.

"Hey, wait!" one of them called after her again, but she kept her head down and rounded the corner with a sigh of relief. She found herself on a sidewalk leading past the backs of several somber-colored warehouses, each with large bay doors for unloading trucks, padlocked for the night. The south side of the street had no sidewalk, only a chain-link fence topped with barbed wire protecting some kind of engine parts storage yard. She noticed with a shock that two men were walking quietly twenty feet behind her.

They were from the group she'd passed at the corner. She turned her head forward once, quickening her pace. Zoe listened intently to their quiet footsteps, which were too quiet when compared to the boisterous noise they'd been making earlier, and it sounded like they were speeding p, of getting any closer to her. She continued to walk as quickly as she could without actually running. A blue car turned onto the street from the south and drove quickly past her.

She risked a quickly glance over her shoulder, and they were ten feet back now, they were all staring at her. "There you are!" The booming voice made her jump.

"Yeah," a voice called loudly from behind her, making her jump again as she tried to hurry down the street. "Where've you been in my life." He grabbed her shoulder.

"I don't like being touched," she warned and jerked her knee up with a thrust. He chokes out a wheezing sound.

Takuya suddenly flew around the corner, he punched the stocky one. Next thing she knew, a cruiser arrived before they Takuya threw another punch.

"Put your hand in the air!" The policeman yelled as he got out of the car.

The group of men obeyed the officer in panic except for Takuya.

The other policemen, the stocky one handcuffed them and get them inside the cruiser.

"Just get them at the station," the stocky one followed his partner's order. He jumped into the driver's seat and slammed the door next to him. The tires squealed as he spun around to face north, accelerating too quickly, swerving toward the street.

"I'm completely fine, Dad," Zoe sighed.

"We'll talk later," he replied.

"I'm going home." He turned his back on Zoe's Dad.

"Not so fast!" As he coughed Takuya's arms and twisted it.

"Ouch! _OUCH!_" He cried.

"Dad! I would've been here if it wasn't for him!" Zoe cried.

"He has a lot of explaining to do later in their house!"

"Do whatever you want, I don't care, but can you please let go of me?" Takuya whined.

The officer let go of him and sent his daughter home by his partner.

When he opened his eyes in the morning, it was the same day.

During lunch, Koji had spread the news about Takuya saving Zoe's life.

"Sometimes, I regret telling you what happens to me day by day," Takuya admitted to Koji and his friends.

"And guess what? The cop that almost puts you in jail got a daughter!" Koichi said.

"I know." Takuya wasn't paying any attention.

"The one that almost puts you in jail has a daughter!" Koji threw his bag to Takuya to snapped him out.

"I know."

"You don't understand, this girl doesn't date, yet," JP explained.

"I definitely get the picture," Takuya ate his cheese burger.

"You're living in ghost town, bro," Koji spoke fast.

"I've been like this since we're in the first grade," Takuya protested.

"A rebel huh?" Koichi wondered. Takuya rolled his eyes

"You don't go out anymore," Koji added.

"I went out yesterday," Takuya snapped.

"You only snuck out without us—never mind. And I know just the thing to snap you out!" He punch Takuya's arm playfully.

"What are you talking about?" Takuya raised his eyebrows.

"You really need to get a girl," JP whistled.

"Like Zoe, Zoe Orimoto," Koichi talked when his mouth was full.

"You're talking about my lab partner," Takuya said.

"She's also our classmate in English, pal. And hey, you never said anything about your lab partner!" Koji took a bite with his lunch.

"Hey, that's her, right?" JP pointed his finger to Zoe, sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, as far away from where they sat as possible in the long room. A few seconds later, her friends left the table.

"Now's your chance, Takuya!" Koji hissed.

"Forget it, look, she's kind of interesting and my kind of type but—"

"Ask her out, that's all. Just one time," Koichi interrupted.

"No and never." Takuya replied.

"Scaredy cat," JP insulted.

"Am not!" Takuya declined.

"Fine, then go to her," As JP put Koichi's hat on Takuya's and it fits him perfectly.

"Well, asking someone out won't hurt," he mumbled then reached Zoe's table, he stood behind the chair across from him, unsure. She was reading a book.

"Can I help you?" she asked without looking.

"Uhm…can I sit with you today?" he asked, smiling.

"Sure, sure." Takuya sat down automatically, watching her with caution. She put down her book and smiled to him. He can feel his friends staring at him.

He seemed to be waiting for her to say something.

"This is weird," she finally managed. "This is the first time you came to sit with me. I mean, after three any-half years."

"How long have we been lab partners?"

"Uhm. Almost four years because we're seniors now."

"Well…" he paused. "I don't have any idea what to say," he eventually pointed.

"I know." She smiled again, and then she changed the subject. "You owe me an explanation about last night," she reminded him.

"I saved your life—I don't owe you anything."

"Then I guess I should thank you." She waited, fuming and expectant.

"Except you go out with me tonight," he changed his mind.

Zoe gulped.

He laughed. "It's okay if you don't want to, I just—stupid," he told himself and stood up.

"No," Zoe quickly said, but ridiculously. "I haven't said anything yet." Takuya sat again. "Starbucks would be cool."

"Awesome, so I'll meet you at the park at seven?"

"Sure, sure," Zoe smiled.

"So does this mean we're plain friends?"

"Friends…" she mused, dubious.

"Yes!" He jumped up then went back to his friends. "Happy?" he muttered on his friends.

"Of course!" Koji punched Takuya playfully. "Why not?"

"I can't believe Takuya had a date with the cute girl," Koichi smirked. "For the first time," he added.

"I bet that she'll like him no matter what," JP hands out on the table ten bucks.

"I bet that Takuya will fall desperately in love with Zoe," Koji hands out money as well.

"I don't wanna lose money on me," Koichi quickly said.

"Awkward." Takuya commented.


	2. Changed

At the star bucks, it smells, of course, coffee. It was peace and quiet even though there are a lot of people. Takuya and Zoe ordered two chocolate cream-chips and two pieces of cake. They sat near the glassed-window.

"This is one of my most favorite places to order," As Zoe sipped her beverage.

"Is that the only thing you want to order?" Takuya asked.

"Yeah, actually…I'm not that hungry so much."

"Oh…" Takuya paused.

"Tell me the truth, were your friends just force you to ask me out?" Takuya widened his eyes, shock.

"Technically yes but—" Zoe half stood until Takuya grabbed her elbow. "Stay. Stay with me."

Zoe sighed. "Fine," she went back from her seat. "So you're saying you never want to be here in the first place…?"

"I wanted to be here, it's cozy."

Zoe chuckled. "Me, too." She smiled widely. "Tell me something I don't know…what do you do for living?"

"School. House. Music."

"Do you play?"

"Yeah, guitar, like you. I can see we're both musical types."

She nodded and sipped at her star bucks obediently, and then drank more deeply.

"Tell me something about your mother?"

"She was murdered since I was eleven years old. I've witnessed the case on the Shibuya Subway platform, on the F Line at the 18th Avenue and McDonald Avenue elevated station. She is shot in the chest by two muggers trying to rob her," Zoe explains but the look on her face still cheerful as ever.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Zoe."

"It's okay," Zoe replied quickly.

"What about your father?"

"I live at home with my overprotective detective father, Chris."

"I thought he was an officer."

"He only acts like an officer, tough on the inside and out," she laughed. "What about you? Wanna talk about your pass?"

"My Dad left us since I was eight. It was four painful months to Mom. She snapped out of it though when my little brother and I tricked her that we're running away if she won't get over Dad. She fell for it then she was back to her own self." He explained.

"It's really amazing your mother didn't have a heart attack."

He laughed at her reaction. "This is more complicated than I planned," he murmured.

They finally touched their food. They picked up their fork and ate their chocolate cake.

"I looked like my Mom," Zoe remembered. "But I got my eyes from my Dad. Got my attitude from him except for being overprotective."

"My parents are never strict. Just don't be off the limits. They let me do anything they want, they always listen to what I want, and they let me decide."

"You're so free. Why do I have to kneel down in front of Dad to get what I want?"

He laughed. "You're lucky."

"How'd you know?"

"Because I'm always left undecided."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes, you have to make a choice. Well I believe that there's never a bad choice. It only comes a bad choice when you don't accept the truth."

"That's a very smart thing to share."

"To be honest, Zoe. I'm never good at anything."

"That I'm gonna laugh," she chuckled. "That's not true. All people are good at something."

"Maybe. Maybe not." He said.

"Do you really like spending time with me?" She asked, marveling.

"I'm enjoying now, very, very much. And I'll prove it. I'm failing, can I bring my schoolwork—I'm getting behind, I know I am."

"Homework might be a good idea." She made a face.

"Yes," he agreed. "Homework once a week?" he proposed.

"Maybe we'd better go with twice," she suggested.

"Why not every day?"

"That would be a better idea," she concurred. We'll start tomorrow."

"Tomorrow is Saturday, right?"

"Yep. And maybe after schoolwork, we could hang out for a while."

"Definitely." He grinned widely.

They touched their star buck's each other. Before they go home, Takuya brought Zoe to the park. Zoe sat at the swing. Shivered.

"Are you cold?" Zoe hasn't given him an answer and Takuya was shrugging out of his jacket. He was removing a light red leather jacket now; underneath he wore an ivory turtleneck sweater. It fit him snugly, emphasizing how muscular his chest was.

He handed her the jacket.

"Thanks" she said, sliding her arms into his jacket. It was hot—she stopped shivering. It smelled amazing. She inhaled, trying to identify the delicious scent. The sleeves were much too long; she shoved it back so she could free her hands.

"That color red looks lovely with your skin, he said, as he sat at the swing, watching her. She was surprised; she looked down.

"Why'd you brought me here?" Zoe asked.

"I love parks."

"So am I. I hang out here every time there are no classes. I especially love swinging!" As she moved back and forth on the swing.

"I'm sorry...and thank you very much."

"For what?"

"I'm sorry because I acted like you never existed from the first time I saw you. And thank you, for everything."

"I haven't given you anything yet."

"For still being my friend even though I've been rude around ya since the day we've met."

Zoe didn't reply instead she smiled. She looked up at the sky. Both of them watching the stars shining.

On Wednesday, Takuya ended up being one of the first ones to school. The plus side was that he got to see Zoe earlier. The downside was that he had free time on his hands but he doesn't care because he's with Zoe.

Quickly, they pulled out their calculus book. They flipped it to open to the section they would be starting today, and tried to make sense of it. Reading math was even worse than listening to it, but he was getting better at it. In the last several months, he's spent ten times the amount of time in Calculus than he'd ever spent on math before. As a result, he was managing to keep in range of a low B. He knew Mr. Cooper felt his improvement was all due to his superior teaching methods plus, Zoe's tutor. And if that made him happy, he wasn't going to burst his bubble.

And they ended up rushing to English. They were working on _Animal farm, _an easy subject matter. He didn't mind communism; it was welcome change from the exhaustion romances that made up most of the curriculum. He settled into his seat, pleased by the distraction of Ms. Parker.

Time moved easily at school. The bell rang all too soon. He started repacking his bag.

"Takuya?"

He recognizes Zoe's voice.

"You know, Takuya. You're brilliant, you're just lazy, that's all," she commented on how Takuya recites during class and got a perfect score at their quiz. "Are you working tomorrow?"

He looked up. She was leaning across the aisle with anxious expression.

"Tomorrow is Thursday, isn't it?" He said.

"Yeah, it is," he agreed. "See you in Biology." She waved once before turning her back.

He trudged off to Calculus with a happy expression. This was the class where she sat next to Koji.

With a sigh, he shoved the door open.

Mr. Cooper gave him a dark look—he's already started the lecture. He hurried to his seat. Koji looked up as he sat next to him. He was glad that he had fifty minutes to mentally answer Zoe.

This class flew by even faster than English. A small part of that speed was due to his goody-goody mood this morning—but mostly time sped up when he was looking forward to something unpleasant.

During lunch, Koji, Koichi and JP asked Takuya happened since there were no classes yesterday and the other day.

"We sure had a lot of in common. She's smart, kind, sweet and fun to be with," Takuya explained. "She asked me if I have any plans tomorrow."

"She was asking you out," JP corrected.

"It's all the same!" Koji said.

"Then go out with her," Koichi encouraged.

"You're right," Takuya stood and sat with Zoe.

"I can go with you tomorrow. What do you want to see?" Takuya quickly asked. Zoe surprised and confused.

"Uhm…huh?" Clueless.

"While ago, you asked me if I have worked to do tomorrow. Well, my answer is none." Still cheerful.

"That's all I asked." Takuya didn't let go of his smile, but he was embarrassed.

"Forget it. Never mind," he groaned.

"Well, if you wanna go out tomorrow night, it's totally fine by me."

"Really?" He quickly said. "I mean…wanna see _The Last Song_?"

Zoe grasped at the promising title. "What's that one about?"

"A rebellious teenager has to spend the summer with her estranged father, a concert pianist." He explained.

"That sounds perfect." Zoe seemed surprised by his response.

"Okay. Do you want me to pick you up after school?" he offered.

"Sure."

Zoe smiled at him tentative friendliness before she left. His answering was just a little late, but he thought that she saw it.

The rest of the day passed quickly, his thoughts focused on planning for tonight.

The thick haze that blurred his days now was sometimes confusing. He was surprised when he found himself in his room, not clearly remembering the walk home from school or even opening the front door. But that didn't matter. Losing track of time was the most he asked from life.

He didn't fight the haze as he turned to his closet. The numbness was more essential in some places than in others. He barely registered what he was looking at as he slid the door aside to reveal the pile of rubbish on the left side of his closet, under the clothes he never wore.

He yanked the old wallet he rarely used off the nail hung from, and shoved the door shut.

Just then Zoe heard a horn honking from outside of her house. She swiftly traded her wallet from her schoolbag into the purse. She was in a hurry, as if rushing would somehow make the night pass more quickly. She glanced at herself in the hall mirror before she opened the door, arranging her features carefully into a smile and trying to hold them there.

"Thanks for coming with me tonight," Takuya told Zoe as she climbed into the motorcycle, trying to infuse his tone with gratitude. It had been a while since he'd really thought. Zoe was harder. He wasn't sure which the right emotions to show were.

"Sure. I didn't know you have a motor."

"It was my Dad's. It's been a while since I haven't using this motor."

"Shotgun?"

"Hold on tight." As they drove fast down her street.

The movie was playing early, so Takuya thought they should hit the twilight showing and eat later. He was happy to go along whatever she wanted; after all, he was getting what he wanted. He got really excited when the movie started. A young couple was walking along a beach, swinging hands and discussing their mutual affection with gooey falseness.

"Popcorn?" Takuya whispered to Zoe.

"Sure," She grabbed one full hand of popcorn. She looked at him with wide eyes. "Yummy!"

Someone shushed them from behind.

"I'm getting soda. Do you want any?" Takuya whispered.

"No, thanks."

He hurried to get soda. And almost tripped at something.

"What did I miss?" He took a sip.

"Nothing at all. It's just getting started," Zoe murmured when Takuya slid back into his seat.

The rest of the movie was comprised of melodramatic scenes in music and love.

They both came out of the theater doors after the movie.

"The story's related to you," Zoe told Takuya.

"Yeah," he agreed. Zoe frowned. "Hungry?"

Zoe shrugged. "Starve."

"Where do you want to eat?" He asked.

"McDonald."

"Okay."

Zoe started talking about the female lead in the movie as they walked. He nodded.

"But your more beautiful than her," Takuya said.

"Huh?"

"Did I say anything?" Takuya excused.

"Hmmm…just making sure I hear something."

Takuya didn't watch where Zoe was leading him. He was only aware at her beauty. It took him longer than it should have to realize they were in front of the McDonald already. Zoe had stopped babbling. He looked at her apologetically.

Zoe wasn't looking at him. Her face was tense as they went inside; she stared straight ahead to the counter. As he watched, her eyes darted quickly to him, and back again.

He glanced around her again. Her eyes were fixed on her order.

"Takuya?" Zoe snapped. "What's your order?"

Some unfamiliar beat through his veins as he felt Zoe's hands near him.

"Grab your order, Takuya," Zoe interrupted his train of thought. They grabbed their tray then they sat near the window.

"Let's go eat," Takuya suggested, barely glancing at her. His mind was preoccupied. The safe, numb deadness did not come back, and he got more anxious with every minute that passed without its return.

'What are you thinking?" Zoe snapped. "Your brain is lost—find it before somebody does."

He shrugged, wishing she would stop talking to him. "I was just thinking…how…" he's heart is pounding loudly. "How…I…I'm…this burger's delicious!" As he took a big bite of his Burger McDo.

"I didn't know you could be weird sometimes, Takuya. And that's what I like about you."

He didn't know what else to say to that.


	3. Sign

"Was it fun?" Koji asked during lunch.

"Sure," Takuya muttered.

"Doesn't look like you had fun?" Koichi said as he opened he's soda.

"How am I going to have fun? I was distracted," Takuya glared to Zoe.

"Distracted?" JP said.

"I can't think. I can't concentrate on what to say. I didn't even know where I was going!" Takuya's fist came down on the table.

"It's a good thing you survived while you were driving," Koji said. "It's a miracle that both of you are alive."

"We lived because I didn't drink," Takuya raised his eyebrows. "Look, she's just a friend of mine, nothing else."

"Yeah, right," Koichi smirked.

"Anyways, do you wanna hang out after school?" Takuya asked.

"There's nothing to do at home, so why not?" JP agreed.

Koji and Koichi stared at Takuya. "Were you asking us to hang out with you?" Koji cleared.

"Yeah, is there a problem?" Confused.

"After all these years, we finally got a hang out time with Takuya!" Koichi cheered.

"He's awake!" JP said.

"Is this natural?" Takuya narrowed his eyes.

"Since this is your first time to hang out with us? You lead us, captain," Koji patted Takuya's shoulder.

He had no idea what gotten to his friends.

Mrs. Kanbara and Shinya stared at Takuya during breakfast, and he tried to ignore them but he couldn't.

"Are you sick?" Mrs. Kanbara asked.

"Will you guys stop staring at me like that?" Takuya said. "It's creeping me out!"

Shinya put his hand on Takuya's forehead. "No fever." Shinya answered her Mom's question. "What did you do to my brother?" Shinya asked Takuya.

"I am your brother," Takuya replied.

"Someone must've slapped him to life," Shinya told his mother.

"Well, it's good that Takuya's back," Mrs. Orimoto.

"What is wrong with these people?" Takuya thought. "Sure I've been acting like a zombie for years, but that doesn't mean anything!"

School was the opposite. Now that he was paying attention, it was clear that no one was watching him.

He remembered the first time he saw Zoe—how desperately he's wished he could turn gray, face into wet concrete of the sidewalk like an oversized chameleon. It seemed he was getting that wish answered, year late.

It was like he wasn't there. Even his teachers' eyes slid past his seat as if it were empty.

He listened all through the morning, hearing once again the voice of the people around him.

Zoe looked up when he sat down next to her in Biology.

"Hey, Zoe," he said with a put-on nonchalance. "How was the rest of your weekend?"

She looked at him with suspicious eyes.

"Super," she said, turning back to her book.

"That's good," he mumbled.

His fourth hour class got out late, and the lunch table he always sat at was fully by the time he arrived. Zoe was there. He wondered how long she'd been sitting there, unable to remember if his on the right table.

He was beginning to get annoyed with himself.

Koji, Koichi and JP looked up when Takuya sat down next to Zoe, Takuya can see them smirking.

He tried to catch up with the conversation.

"What did you boys do this weekend?" Zoe asked, not sounding as if she cared about the answer.

"We were going to have a picnic on Saturday, actually, but…we changed our minds," Koji narrowed his eyes on Koichi. There was an edge to his voice that caught Zoe's interest.

Koichi, not so much. "Don't' start with me," he said.

"Well," Koji said, seeming more hesitant than usual though he was always reserved, "if Koichi didn't forget to lower the stove, Mom and Dad wouldn't have changed their minds, you're so irresponsible!" Koji told to his twin. "Way to go, brother."

"Will you get over it?" Koichi hissed.

"So, what did you this weekend, Takuya?" JP asked.

Everyone looked back, waiting for his response.

"Zoe helped me with my schoolwork, after that, she and I hang out at the park. And then I spent Saturday afternoon and most of the Sunday down at the mall with Shinya."

The eyes flickered at Zoe and back to him.

He wasn't sure what the hell he was doing at the park. He continued to walk slowly down to Zoe. His hands were shaking. He knew that part of the reason he did this was the nightmare; now that he was really awake. There was a feeling when he was with Zoe. Unattainable and impossible, uncaring and distracted…that's what he feels when he's with her but there's still something more, something he never felt before except the movie night. He had to believe that.

The words ran through his head, tonelessly, like he was reading them rather than hearing them spoken.

_I think I'm in love with her._

He was lying to himself by splitting his reason for coming here into just two parts. He didn't want to admit that strongest motivation. Because it was mentally unsound.

The truth was he wanted to be with her again, like he had in the strange movie night. For that brief moment, when she touched Takuya's hand, he's heart stared pounding. It hadn't lasted. He wanted to touch her hand. He wanted to find some way to repeat the experience…

So he was going to follow him. He stated to go fasted to Zoe. How long had he been walking? Shouldn't he have reached her yet?

And she _was _there, sitting on the bench.

"Come sit with me if you want," she said.

He automatically sat next to her.

"What brings you here?" Zoe wondered as she continued reading her book.

"Brought what on?"

"Why did you suddenly decided…to go here?" It sounded like she changed her question halfway through.

He shrugged. "Ijust needed some fresh air. You know I love parks."

"What a weird question, I shouldn't have asked you that." She turned on the mp3. Zoe peeked at Takuya's expression as the music filled the air.

His eyes squinted. "What? You think boys are the only who can listen to rap?"

"Just surprised," he said.

"You like this?" She asked doubtfully.

"Sure."

It would be much too easy to interact with Zoe normally if he had to work to tune out the music, too. He nodded his head, hoping he was in time with the beat.

"Okay…" She stared at the sky with wide eyes.

"So what's up with you and your Dad these days?" he asked quickly.

"That's none of your business."

The question hadn't started her talking like he's hoped it would.

"It's really hard to think what to say," Takuya mumbled, and then he tried again. "Have you been out with anyone lately?"

"I'm only going out with you." She rolled her eyes, and sensed a long story. He clutched the opportunity.

"Do you wanna get something to drink?"

She groaned, getting more animated. "It's so hot! Chocolate Milk Shake would be nice."

"Cool."

Zoe stood up and started walking while Takuya stayed behind her back. While they're walking to 'Shake', Koji pulled Takuya's jacket shockingly without Zoe noticing. They were behind the wall.

"What the hell was that for?!" Takuya demanded, knowing Koji spying at him. "Are you spying on me?"

"You like her, don't you?" Koji hissed to Takuya.

"Nope," It was obvious that Takuya was lying because he was blushing.

"Admit it Takuya, you like her!" He almost shouted. Takuya smacked Koji's face as hard as he can. "OW! _Ouch!_" He whimpered.

"Shh," Takuya shushed. "So what if I like her?" He finally admitted.

"Have you told her about your feelings?" Koji kept rubbing his smacked head.

"Nope and never."

"If you won't, then I will." Koji came out of the wall and called Zoe's name. Zoe turned around and waved at Koji.

"What is it?" Zoe walked to Koji.

Before Koji answers Zoe, Takuya covered Koji's mouth with his hands.

"All he wanted to say is…is, hi!" Takuya smiled as he lied and let go of Koji. "I'll catch up on you!"

"Are you sure?" Zoe raised her eyebrows.

"Of course, I'm sure. I just need a private time with my best friend, Koji," Zoe walked quickly to the 'Shake'. "This is only between you and I. Koichi's not going to know and especially JP, understand?"

Koji gulped. "Fine. I'm should leave now, I don't wanna come between _you and Zoe_," he insulted.

"Hey, Zoe!" Takuya felt an unfamiliar surge of enthusiasm at Zoe's smile.

"Here's your shake." Zoe handed him his chocolate milk shake. "I've already paid on that," she noted.

"Thanks."

After they finished drinking, Takuya brought Zoe in front of 'Convenience Store'.

"You want something explosive?" Takuya held a one piece of rock.

"I'm always into some action," Zoe stretched her arms.

"When I said ran, ran like hell, okay?" Takuya noted her.

"What are you going to do?" Zoe wondered.

"When I ask you something, just answer yes, simple as possible," Takuya smiled widely.

Zoe gulped. "I'm ready."

Takuya sighed. "Do you want me to throw this rock to the glass?"

"Aren't we going to get in trouble?" Zoe asked.

"Just answer."

"YES!" Zoe shouted.

Takuya threw the rock to the glass. The rock landed in the mess of shattered crystal. The sound was like the crash of boulders in a rock slide. There were a lot of jagged shards of glass.

"RAN!" Takuya and Zoe ran as fast as they can. They were both laughing.

Finally, they stopped far away from the store.

"That was fun!" Zoe gasped. "I enjoyed that, even though I only watched."

"I haven't done that for years," Takuya exclaimed. "Are you still afraid that you might get into trouble?"

"Nope. Not anymore. Because I wanted and needed that. So if I ever get scolded by someone because of that, ignore is the only solution."

"I'm gonna show you the best place I always go," Takuya pulled Zoe's hand involuntarily. Zoe didn't react where Takuya's taking her again. Takuya can feel again his heart pound, he can't avoid hearing the best of his heart.

They stopped in beside of the western building, midway down the street, where there is a fence with a poster:

**NO ENTRY**

"What does that have to do with anything?" Zoe wondered.

"I'm saving the best for the last."

"But it's fenced."

"Exactly."

"And you know we're not supposed to go in there," Zoe pointed to the sign. "Can't you see, 'No Entry'?"

"Then what's the park for?"

Zoe bit her lip.

"You stay here while I go in," Takuya joked.

"Don't leave me," Zoe begged. "Okay, fine, how do we get pass it?"

"Good choice," Takuya grinned. "We climb, of course."

As they got over the fence, Zoe realized the way was mostly flat, and he held the damp ferns and webs of moss aside for her. When his straight path took them over fallen trees or boulders, he would help her, lifting her by the elbow, and then releasing her instantly when she was clear. Zoe touched Takuya's skin, and his heart thud erratically. Thrice, when that happened.

Takuya tried to keep his eyes away from Zoe as much as possible, but she slipped often. Each time, her beauty pierced him through with sadness.

For the most part, Zoe asked a few questions about where they're going.

"Are you sure this is a park?"

"I only called it a park, because deep down inside to the forest, it's a park, there's just no bench and swing like the park we've just been," he explained.

After several minutes, the light filtered through them. For the first time since they'd entered the words, she felt a thrill of excitement—which quickly turned into impatience.

"Are we there yet?" She teased, pretending to scowl.

"nearly." He smiled at the change in her mood. "Do you see the brightness ahead?"

She peered into the thick forest. "Yes?"

"After another few minutes, she could definitely see a lightening in the trees ahead, a glow that was yellow instead of green. She picked up the pace, her eagerness growing with every step. He let her lead now, following noiselessly.

She reached the edge of the pool light and steeped through the last fringe of fern into the loveliest place she had ever seen. The park was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers—violet, yellow, and soft white. Somewhere nearby, she could hear the bubbling music stream. The sun was directly overhead, filling the circle with a haze of buttery sunshine. She walked slowly, awestruck, through the soft grass, swaying flowers, and warm, gilded air. She spun around, searching for him with sudden alarm. Finally spotted him, still under the shade of the canopy at the edge of the hollow, watching her with cautious eyes. Only then did she remember what the beauty of the park had driven her mind.


	4. Wanted

Takuya lay perfectly still in the grass, his scintillating arms bare. Zoe enjoyed the sun, too, the air was quite dry enough for her taste. She would have liked to lie back, as he did, and let the sun warm her face. But she stayed curled up, her chin resting her knees. Takuya never took his eyes on Zoe. The wind was gentle; it tangled her hair and ruffled the grass that swayed everywhere.

The park, so spectacular to Zoe.

"Why'd you brought me here?" Zoe asked playfully.

"I know you never wanted to be here in the first place, but you gotta see what's down here…what you're missing."

"Tell me what you're thinking," Zoe whispered. She looked to his eyes watching her, suddenly intent. "It's strange you're always thinking."

"A thousand questions about my pass," He said looking away from Zoe. "You can't imagine how that feels." He sighed.

"Sorry," she murmured. "It's too easy to be myself with you."

"You know, the rest of us feel that was all the time."

"It's a hard life." There was regret in her tone. "Hey, I heard you were making a bear."

"Uh…yeah, who told you?"

"Koji." She smiled. "Have you given it to someone already?"

Takuya widened his eyes to Zoe and he could feel his heart racing in his chest, the blood pulsing hot and fast through his veins again. His lungs filled deep with the sweet scent that came off Zoe's skin.

"Nope. Not yet."

"Well, whoever's going to receive the bear will probably love it very much," Zoe encouraged him. "May I ask who are you going to give it to?" Zoe asked, curious.

"Well, it's a person," Of course. "It's a girl," he gulped. "She's very important to my life…she…is…is…"

"I'm sorry!" Zoe interrupted and Takuya was surprised. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't force you to answer that odd question so I'm sorry."

"It's getting late, come on, climb on my back."

Zoe waited to see if he was kidding, but apparently, he meant it. He smiled as he read her hesitation, and reached for her. Their hearts reacted; their pulses gave them away. He then proceeded to sling Zoe onto his back, with a very little effort on her part, besides, when in place, clamping her legs and arms so tightly around him that it would choke a person. It was like clinging to a stone.

"I'm a bit heavier than your average backpack," Zoe warned.

"Hah!" he snorted. He rolled his eyes.

He startled her, suddenly grabbing her hand, pressing her palm to his face, and inhaling deeply.

"Easier all the time," he muttered.

And then he was running.

He streaked through the dark, thick underbrush of the forest. There was a sound.

The cool forest air whipped against her face and burned them.

"Where are we going this time?" Zoe asked.

"We're taking the short cut."

Then it was over. Ina matter of five minutes, they were in front of the 'Shake'.

"Faster, isn't it?" His voice was high, excited.

He stood motionless, waiting for her to climb down. Her arms and legs stayed locked around him.

"Zoe?" he asked, anxious now.

"That was fast," she gasped.

He laughed quietly, and gently unloosed her stranglehold on his neck. Then he pulled her around to face him, cradling her in his arms like a small child. He held her for a moment, then carefully placed her on the ground.

"I had really fun," Zoe said.

"Next time we hang out, we're going to the places anywhere you want."

"Good idea," she mused.

"Remember that next time we hang out each other."

"Cool!"

He laughed, his mood still radiant.

"I was thinking while I was running…" He paused.

"About not hitting the trees, I hope."

"Hah! Now why would I hit a tree?" He chuckled. "Running is second nature to me, it's not something I have to think about." He smiled. "No," he continued, "I was thinking…I…I'm…You're…I'm…never mind, forget it."

Zoe was clueless, "Okay,"

"So I'll see ya!" Takuya said.

And then Zoe's lips pressed very softly against Takuya's cheek. "It's my turn," Zoe said before she left.

Blood boiled under his skin. "Eeep!" Takuya told himself.

It was very hard, in the morning, to argue with Koji that he told his little brother. He dressed in his heavy clothes.

When he got downstairs, Shinya was there teasing him again—he was running later than he realized.

"Takuya and Zoe kissing on a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Shinya insulted.

"No, we didn't," Takuya pretended that he doesn't know anything.

"Yes, you did!" Shinya pointed.

"No, we didn't." Still lying.

"Yes, you did!"

"Yes, we did," Takuya was buying it.

"No, you didn't," Shinya was now confused.

"What are we talking about?" He asked quickly.

"I. Don't. Know." Shinya was lost.

"Perfect." A she swallowed a granola bar in three bites, chase it down with milk straight from the carton, and then hurried out the door.

It was hot; the air was almost dry with it. His heart thudded, stuttered, and then picked up again in double time when he saw Zoe.

He didn't see where Koji came from, but suddenly he was there, right beside him.

"You told Koichi and JP, didn't you?" Takuya guessed.

"They're our friends anyway," Koji replied.

"You're really not good at keeping secrets, are you?"

Koji laughed loudly.

During lunch, Takuya's friends are encouraging him to confess his feelings to Zoe.

"Are you thinking about Zoe?" Koji started.

Takuya was obvious, he quickly turned tomato red. "Wh…What…no…"

"No? Are you sure?" Koichi raised his eyebrows.

Takuya gulped but didn't answer.

"You were thinking about Zoe, aren't you?" JP drank straight his soda.

Takuya looked at his friends, still blushing. "I…"

"I think Zoe's not the brightest when it comes to things like that, so unless you tell her she will not know," Koji explained.

Takuya closed his eyes. "But if she doesn't like me?"

"So you can't tell her?" Koichi wondered.

Takuya breathed and opened his eyes quickly.

"Besides, there are many people who like Zoe." JP patted Takuya's back. "It's just because Zoe is too cool and cute."

"I know…" Takuya said shyly.

"For example, who do you think it is?" Koji snapped.

Takuya turned to Zoe and never took his eyes again off of her. "No idea…"

"That's good." Koichi said.

"How did you guys know this kind of stuff?" Takuya demanded.

"It's regarding Zoe," JP replied.

"We know you're keeping your thoughts to yourself, but are you really okay with that?" Koji asked seriously.

Takuya looked down. "Whatever your thoughts may be, if you don't say them, none of it will be acknowledge by others," Koichi added.

"Do you need help in Biology?" Zoe jumped in front of Takuya's side.

"Whoa!" Takuya said, surprised as he fell off of his seat.

"What's wrong with him?" Zoe asked his friends.

"Reflexes," Koji laughed.

"I'm okay," Takuya went back to his seat.

"As I was saying, do you need help in Biology?" Zoe repeated.

"Nope. Why?" Takuya's face was getting hotter.

"Because you're staring at me again," she said. "Besides, I'm not in the mood to sit alone today."

Koji, Koichi and JP snapped their heads up.

"We're just going to buy some soda," Koji stood up.

"Outside," Koichi added.

"But you can buy soda here at the cafeteria," Takuya said.

"Outside's better," JP walked away with the others.

"Awkward," Takuya and Zoe said at the same moment and they laughed.

"May I take a sit?" Zoe asked politely.

"I'm so sorry…my bad…sure!" Takuya drank his water.

"Is there something you wanted to tell me?" Zoe opened her book.

"Uhm…" Takuya remembered what Koichi told him. _Whatever your thoughts may be, if you don't say them, none of it will be acknowledge by others. _"Uhm…" Takuya hit the table with his palm which shocked Zoe.

"Hoe?" Zoe's tone was high.

Takuya's blood was rising through his veins. "I…" the words won't go out. Takuya bit his lip.

And then the bell rang.

"We should get to class now, if you don't wanna be late…" Zoe snapped.

"Yeah, of course," he grabbed and fast walked to class. His head was spinning faster than the bottle cap.

After school, Zoe wanted to be at the beach. The sound of the ocean was calm.

"Are you sure this is the only place you wanted to be?" Takuya asked as he watched the sunset.

"Yes…I'm sorry if it's so boring," Zoe smiled widely.

"But it's not."

"I'm glad you like it."

Zoe took off of her shoes and plunged her feet into the freezing water.

"Have I ever told you how I love beaches?" She raised her arms straight out.

"I guess not," He also took off of his shoes and stepped into the water.

"What I love beaches is the fresh and cool air and the water," she smelled the cool air. "I used to go here before my mother passed away."

"Why now?"

"You gotta see what you're missing here," she copied Takuya's answer yesterday. And they played at the water. Throwing sands at each other, collecting sea shells.

When they got tired, Takuya and Zoe sat near the water as they watched the sun setting down.

"Thank you for today," Zoe smiled. "Not only for today, for everything."

"You're welcome," Takuya grinned as well. "Who do you think is having a crush on you?"

She smirked. "I have no idea," she admitted. "Why would anybody like me?" She snorted. "Whoever is having a crush on me probably blind," she laughed.

He frowned. "What's the difference between those who can and cannot see?"

"What?"

"Those who can see never know when or what they can see or cannot see."

"Huh?"

"Zoe," he called over his name.

"What is it?"

Takuya gulped. Feeling a little blue but on the outside his face is red as the tomato, his heart pounding loudly again. "I'm…"

_Whatever your thoughts may be, if you don't say them, none of it will be acknowledge by others, _Takuya remembered what Koichi have told him.

Takuya breathed. "I'm in love with you, Zoe!"


	5. First Kiss

"I'm in love with you!" He's heart can't stop beating loudly.

Zoe stepped back automatically from Takuya. "Takuya…I have…I gotta go," she grabbed her backpack and shoes and ran away from Takuya.

Her mind swirling her dizzily, full of images she couldn't' understand, and some she fought to repress. Nothing seemed clear to her.

While Takuya was walking to English Koji was sitting at the back row, nearly bouncing off his seat in agitation. He reluctantly went to sit by him.

"Tell me everything!" he commanded before Takuya was in his seat.

"What do you want to know?" Takuya hedged.

"What happened yesterday?"

"Seriously, do I have to tell you what happens to me every time?"

He glared at him, his expression stiff with skepticism. "Looks like you're not in the mood."

"She ditched me." Takuya hoped Zoe heard that.

"Was it terrible at first—did you had fun at first?"

"No…Yes—she was surprised when I confessed."

His lips puckered in disappointment at the transparent honesty in Takuya's voice.

"But does this mean you're giving up?" Koji probed.

"No—one last time, and if she doesn't feels the same, we're done," Takuya explained.

"So are you two going out again?"

"Of course not, she's mad at me—I was thinking of serenading her in front of her house," Takuya whispered.

"Oooh…this is gonna be awesome." Koji nodded.

"Well, then, after school, I'll raced her to her house."

"W-o-w." He exaggerated the word into syllables. "Can I tell—"

"No!" Takuya interrupted Koji because only Koji and he will know. "Just today, please, I'll do anything you want, just keep this between you and me, can you do that just for one day?" Takuya begged.

"Sure!" His hands flew up, palms toward Takuya like he was stopping traffic. "Have you kissed her?"

"No," Takuya mumble das he told him a lie. "Just keep this between you and me."

He looked disappointed.

"Before I forget, how are you going to…?" Koji raised his eyebrows.

"I have no idea." The discontent in Takuya's voice was poorly disguised.

"You wanna talk about it now or later?" Koji whispered. Class had started but Ms. Parker wasn't paying close attention and they weren't the only ones still talking.

"I don't know, Koji, my crazy ideas just going to come to me us usual any time now," Takuya whispered back.

"Please, Takuya," Koji begged. "How am I going to help?"

"Well…okay, I've got one just for you. Call her—if her father's there…do anything you can to get his father outta that house."

"That's a good idea," he nodded. "Was her father good?"

"Very—and probably wrestle you so be careful."

"Wrestle?! What do you mean?"

"I _think _when you get in his way, hard to tell. I thought you wanted to help?" Takuya sighed. "Besides, you're charisma is full!"

"I don't know how I'm going to be brave enough to face Mr. Orimoto," Koji breathed.

"Just remember my plan," Takuya said shockingly, but he didn't understand Takuya's reaction.

"I hope I know what to say to him."

"Don't worry, you're a good-looking guy," Takuya admitted.

"Oh well. I wanted this anyways." Koji shrugged as if this excused any flaws.

"Just remember my plan."

"Piece of cake."

Then, surprisingly, Ms. Parker called on Takuya for an answer. Takuya was clueless on the lesson.

"Detention, Kanbara!"

"Say what?!" Takuya was shock.

"For babbling and not paying any attention to our lesson!"

"But Ms. Parker," Koji interrupted. "We had someone to meet at the—"

"Silence! You, too, Minamoto!" Ms. Parker said angrily.

"You've got to be kidding me?!" Takuya hissed to himself.

Then, thankfully, during detention, they got a chance to escape, and as soon they got out of the building, Takuya and Koji were in action.

"Call Zoe," Takuya told Koji while they're running to Zoe's house.

"Zup, Zoe?!" Koji greeted. "Watcha doing?!"

"I'm done with my homework, I can hear your running," Zoe replied.

"Say, are you mad at my friend?"

"Nope. I wanna apologize for running away from him yesterday, which was rude."

"Good!" Koji said. "Is your father at home?"

"Nope. Not yet. He'll be home late, why?"

"Perfect." Koji ended the call as they reached the house.

Takuya jumped out into in front of Zoe's house.

Koji approached the barren, vacant face slowly. He stopped when he got to the porch stairs, because Takuya hasn't moved an inch.

"Snapped out of it, Takuya!" Koji through a small pebble to Takuya. "We're here on a mission, so focus!" He hissed.

Takuya went near Zoe's window. Zoe's window was upstairs so he hid behind the bushes to call her. The front door opened.

"Koji?" Zoe was shock. "What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" Koji joked.

"This is _my _house," Zoe replied.

"Really?"

"You're wasting your time, bye!" She slammed the door. And picked up her ringing phone.

"Who's this?" Zoe said as she answered it.

Takuya breathed. "This is Takuya, uhm…hi."

"Listen, about yesterday—"

"I'm sorry," Takuya said quickly.

Zoe smirked while she's going up on her room. "What are you apologizing for? I should be the one here saying sorry. So I'm sorry."

"Now that I'm here at your place, you're gonna have to give me an answer."

"You're here, too?" Zoe widened her eyes.

"Looked outside your window," Zoe ended the call and looked outside the window.

And there _he _is. Standing still on the echoing grass. "Hey, Zoe," he called over, almost shouting.

Zoe smiled in relief. "Hey, Takuya." She waved.

"Sorry to disturb you but am I troubling you?" Takuya wondered.

"Nope. Not yet."

"Good. Because you're going to give me an answer today. So I won't be doing this anymore."

"Okay." Zoe laughed, a throaty sound. "Wait for me downstairs," Zoe nearly run while she went outside.

"Takuya, you're a jerk," Zoe breathed.

Takuya laughed. "I kind of get obsessive when I need answers." He shrugged.

"Wanna go for a walk?"

Takuya nodded. "So you think I'm over reacting, then?"

"Nope. It's natural, right?"

"Right."

They stopped near the park.

"My Dad doesn't know anything about this," Zoe said.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Takuya questioned.

"I'm…also…" And then her marble lips pressed very softly against Takuya.

What neither of them prepared for was his response.

Blood boiled under their skin, burned in their lips. Zoe's breath came in a wild grasp. Her fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to her. Her lips parted as she breathed.

Immediately she felt him turn to unresponsive stone beneath her lips. His hands gently, pushed her face back.

"Oops," Zoe breathed.

"That's an understatement."

"I'm sorry. I'm just not good at telling. I'm better than showing," Zoe said shyly. "The truth is, I love you. You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever." Zoe confessed.

Their heads were spinning at the rapid change in direction their conversation had taken.

"You already know how I feel, of course," Takuya finally said. "I'm here…which, you're also my number one." Takuya frowned. "I'm an idiot."

"You _are _an idiot," she agreed with the laugh. Takuya laughed, too. They laughed together at the idiocy and sheer impossibility of such a moment.

"You're stupid," Zoe sighed.

"You're sick." Takuya stared deeply into Zoe's eyes.

"Why…?" Takuya began, and then paused, not sure how to continue.

She looked at him and smiled.

"Yes?"

"Tell me why you ran from me yesterday."

Her smile faded. "You know why."

"No, I mean, _exactly _what I did I do wrong?"

Zoe smiled again. "You didn't do anything wrong, Takuya. It was my fault."

"Well, this day was interesting," he murmured. His voice was dark and his eyes were cautious.

"Umm," was all Zoe was able to respond.

"Shall we?" he asked, pointing his hand to the Star Bucks.

Zoe smiled. "We shall," she replied.


	6. Temper

Everyone watched Takuya and Zoe walked together to their lab table. Zoe noticed that Takuya no longer angled the chair to sit as far from her as the desk would allow. Instead, he sat quiet close behind her, their arms almost touching.

Mr. Broman backed into the room then—what superb timing the man had—puling a tall metal frame on wheels that had a heavy-looking, outdated TV and VCR. A movie day—the left in the class atmosphere was almost tangible.

Mr. Broman shoved the tape into the reluctant VCR and walked to the wall to turn off the lights.

And then, as the room went black, Zoe was suddenly hyperaware that Takuya was sitting less than an inch from her. She was stunned by the unexpected electricity that flowed through her. A crazy impulse to reach over and hold his hand just once in the darkness nearly overwhelmed her. She crossed her arms tightly across her chest, her hands balling into fists. She was losing her mind.

The opening credits began, lighting the room by token amount. Zoe's eyes, of their own, flickered to Takuya. She smiled sheepishly as she realized his posture was identical to hers, fists clenched under his arms, right down to the eyes, peering sideways at her. He grinned back, his eyes somehow managing smolder, even in the dark. She looked away before she could start hyperventilating. It was absolutely ridiculous that she should feel dizzy.

The hour seemed very long. Both of them couldn't concentrate on the movie—Zoe didn't even know what subject it was on. She tried to unsuccessfully to relax, but the electric current that seemed to be originating somewhere in Takuya's body never slackened. Occasionally she would permit herself a quick glance in his direction, but he never seemed to relax, either. The overpowering craving to touch his hand also refused to face, and she crushed her fists safely against her ribs until her fingers were aching with effort.

She breathed a sigh when Mr. Broman flicked the lights back on at the end of class, and stretched her arms out in front of her, flexing her stiff fingers. Takuya chuckled beside her.

"That was weird," he muttered.

"Time for Gym," Zoe stood with care, worried her balance might have been affected by the strange new intensity between them.

Takuya walked Zoe into her next class in silence and paused at the door; she turned to say goodbye. His face startled her—his expression was torn, almost pained, and so fiercely beautiful that the ache to touch his hand as strong before. Her goodbye stuck in her throat.

He raised his hand, hesitant, conflict raging in his eyes, and then swiftly brushed the length of her cheekbone with his fingertips. His skin was as sun as ever, the trail of his fingers left on her skin was alarmingly warm—like she'd been burned, but didn't feel the pain of it yet.

He turned without a word and strode quickly away from her.

She walked into gym, lightheaded and wobbly. She drifted to the locker room, changing in trancelike state, only vaguely aware that there were other people surrounding her. Reality didn't fully set it until she was handed a racket. It wasn't heavy, yet it felt very safe in her hand. She could see a few other kids in class eyeing her furtively. Coach Jerkins ordered them to pair up into teams.

Surprisingly, Koji came to stand beside her. (P.S. Koji and Zoe were on the same class)

"Do you want to be a team?"

"Thanks, Koji—you know, for yesterday, speaking of yesterday, where were you when I slammed the door?"

"I always knew that Takuya's going to ditched me so I followed you two."

"You mean—"

"Don't worry, it'll be our little secret," he whispered. He grinned. Sometimes it was so easy to like Koji.

It went smoothly. Zoe somehow hit the shuttlecock and slammed it to their opponent. She spent the rest of the hour at the front. Koji was pretty good as well; they won three games out of four singlehandedly. They gave at each other earned high five when the coach finally blew the whistle ending class.

"You're better than I remembered," he said as they walked off the court.

"I practiced a lot during vacations," she responded. "You're not bad as a player of badminton also."

"We made a pretty good team, huh?"

"Yeah."

"So," he said.

"So what?"

"You and Kanbara, huh?" he asked, his tone rebellious. Her previous of feeling of affection disappeared.

"Isn't it obvious?" She raised her eyebrows.

"I like it," he muttered anyways. "Actually, I'm definitely approved to you," he snapped.

"You look like…you're Takuya's most true friend," Zoe commented as she smiled.

"Some people don't think so," Koji choked back the hysteria that threatened to explode.

"But you are," Zoe giggled shyly.

Koji smiled at her. Zoe waved goodbye and fled to the locker room.

Koji dressed quickly, something stronger than butterflies battering recklessly against the walls of his stomach, his conversation with Zoe already a memory. While Zoe was wondering if Takuya would be waiting, or if she should meet him outside the building. She felt a wave of real excitement.

By the time she walked out of the gym, Takuya ambushed her just she reached the street.

"Hi," she breathed, smiling hugely.

"Hello." His answering smile was brilliant. "How was Gym?"

Her face fell a tiny bit. "Koji and I won three games out of four. I didn't know he's a good player of sports."

"Really?" He was unconvinced. His eyes shifted their focus slightly, looking over her shoulder and narrowing. She glanced behind her too Koji made a good-job hand sign as he walked away.

"What?" Zoe demanded.

His eyes slid back to hers, still tight. "He spied on us yesterday, didn't he?"

"Yeah," Zoe was horror-struck. All traces of her sudden good humor appeared.

"Do you like Koji?" Takuya asked innocently.

"You're unbelievable!" She turned, stomping away in the general direction of the street, though she hadn't ruled out walking at this point.

He kept up with her easily.

"You were the one who mentioned how I'd never seen you in Gym—it made me curious." He didn't sound repentant, so she ignored him.

They walked in silence—a furious, embarrassed silence on her part—to Zoe's house. But she had to stop a few steps away—his father's at home.

"My Dad's in," Zoe muttered.

"So what?" Takuya asked.

"I told you, he doesn't know anything about this."

"Then tell him."

"Do you want his go medusa on you?"

Takuya rolled his eyes, not looking at her.

"Are you still angry?" he asked as he carefully maneuvered his way out.

"You don't trust me! Why would I like Koji? I've got you!"

"You're quiet hot tempered, I never noticed."

"Are you insulting me?"

He sighed. "Will you forgive me if I apologize?"

"Maybe…if you mean it. _And _if you promise not to do it again," she insisted.

His eyes were suddenly shrewd. "How about if I mean it, _and _I agree to let you drive on my motor on Saturday?" he countered her condition.

She considered, and decided it was probably the best offer she would get. She always wanted to drive a single motor. "Deal," she agreed.

"Then I'm very sorry I upset you." His eyes burned with sincerity for a protracted moment—playing havoc with the rhythm of her heart—and then turned playful. "And I'll be outside your house bright and early on Saturday morning."

"Um, what if Dad hears your motor."

His smile was condescending now. "Leave it all to me."

"How—"

He cut her off. "Don't worry about it. I'll be here."

She let it go. She had more pressing question.

"Where are we going tomorrow?" She asked significantly.

He smiled. "How about amusement park?"

"Sure. I love amusement parks!" She kept her expression polite. "I'll see ya tomorrow."

And then he was gone, he was speeding down the street and disappearing around the corner before she could collect her thoughts. She smiled as she walked to the house. It was clear he was planning to see her tomorrow, if nothing else.

"About tomorrow Dad…," Zoe began while going to the kitchen.

Mr. Orimoto cringed. "Yes, Zoe?"

"I'm going out."

"That's your plan." He grimaced.

"I'm going out with Takuya tomorrow," Zoe closed her eyes tightly.

"Just be home before your curfew," Zoe met her father's eyes.

"Really?"

"Well, you're a big girl now. You can take care of yourself. You make your choices from now on," he patted Zoe's back. "Question, are you and Takuya doing something wrong?"

"Of course not, Dad!"

"Then if you really like him and he likes you more than anything. Then there's nothing I could do."

Zoe hugged him and kissed him on his cheek. "Thank you so much, Dad!"

"Smacked him on the face when he kisses you without your permission," He reminded.

"I've got it under control, Dad." She chuckled.

Takuya tossed and turned restlessly, waking often. It was only in the early hours of the morning that he finally sank into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.

When he woke he was still tired, but edgy as well. He pulled on his brown t-shirt and his blue jeans, sighing as he daydreamed of spaghetti straps and shorts. Breakfast was the usual, quiet even he expected. Her Mom fried eggs for Shinya; he had a bowl of cereal. He wondered if Shinya had forgotten about his relationship with Zoe.

"I can see my big brother's got a date with Zoe Orimoto…," Shinya teased, walking across the kitchen and turning the faucet.

"Since when did you learn how to wash the dishes?"

"I was thinking, after you graduate from Senior, you're might proposed to Zoe, now…who's gonna wash the dishes?" Shinya asked.

"Fine, Zoe's my girlfriend now, will you get over it?"

Shinya squeezed some dish soap onto his plate and swirled it around with the brush. "Mom, did you heard that?!"

"Make sure you finish your studies before you marry that girl." Mrs. Kanbara glared.

"Mom!" Takuya said. "I'm not like the other guys. I finish of course my studies before doing anymore stupid!"

"Well, you better be. Because if you won't, I'm gonna have to send you to military school," she warned.

Takuya widened his eyes to his Mom. "Yes, Mom, I'll behave myself." Embarrassed.

"Sending Takuya in Military School could be my happiest day of my life," Shinya teased.

"Will you shut up?" Takuya's tone was shy.


	7. A Wonderful Date

Zoe sympathized with her father. It must be hard thing, to be a father; living in fear that your daughter would meet a boy she liked. How ghastly it would be, she thought, shuddering, if Mr. Orimoto (let's call him Nathan) had even the slightest inkling of exactly what she _did _like.

Nathan left early in the morning, with a goodbye wave, and she Zoe went upstairs to brush her teeth. When she heard the cruiser pull away, she could only wait a few seconds before she had to peek out of her window. The motor was there, waiting in Nathan's spot in the driveway. She bounded down the stairs and out of the front door, wondering how long his bizarre routine would continue. She never wanted it to end.

He waited beside the motor, not appearing to watch as she shut the door behind her without bothering to lock the dead-bolt. She walked to the motor, pausing shyly before Takuya hopped on the bike and Zoe following him. He was smiling, relaxed—and, as usual, perfect and beautiful to an excruciating degree.

"Good morning." His voice was silky. "How are you today?"

"Good, thank you." She was always food—much more than good—when she was near him.

"You look tired."

"I thought I'm driving today," she almost forgot, automatically swinging her hair around her shoulder to provide some measure of cover.

"Later," he replied as he started the engine. She was becoming used to Takuya.

She laughed. "You promised."

"Don't worry, you're gonna get to drive later."

"So where are we going?" Zoe asked.

He chuckled. "How about to the Amusement Park?"

"Oh, that's right. There's a new Amusement Park downtown." Suddenly, the gear caught and pulled them forward.

And they were dashing.

She turned it immediately to the fourth gear.

"Takuya, slow down!" Zoe shouted.

"What's wrong?" Takuya was startled. But the motor accelerated than decelerate.

"You're going a hundred miles an hour!"

"Relax, Zoe." Takuya rolled her eyes, still not slowing.

"Are you trying to kill us?"

"We're not going to crash."

"We're not in a hurry."

"I always drive like this." He smiled crookedly.

"Keep your head on the road!"

"I've never been in an accident, Zoe—I've never even gotten a ticket." He grinned. "Built-in radar detector."

"Very funny." Zoe fumed. "Dad's cops more than a detective, remember? I am raised to abide traffic laws. Besides, if you turn us into a pretzel around a tree trunk, you can probably walk away."

"Probably," he agreed with a short, hard laugh. "But you can't." He sighed, and Zoe watched with relief as she noticed that they were drifting eighty. "Happy?"

"Almost."

"I hate driving slow," he muttered.

"This is slow?"

"Do you wanna go to the first gear until neutral?"

"No."

"Then let me drive my own way," He snapped. "Geez, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."

Zoe bit her lip.

"Do you wanna talk while driving?"

"No!"

"Oh, c'mon! Driving without a conversation is pretty boring," Takuya whined.

"Focus on the road!"

"Please…?"

"Fine, what do you want to know?" Her forehead creased. She couldn't imagine anything about him that could be in any way interesting to him.

"What's your favorite color?" he asked his face grave.

She rolled her eyes. "It changes from day to day."

"What's your favorite color today?" he was still solemn.

"Probably brown." She tended to dress according to the mood.

He snorted, dropping to his serious expression. "Brown?" he asked skeptically.

"Sure. Brown is warm. I _miss _brown. Everything's that's supposed to be brown—tree trunks, rocks, dirt—is all covered up with squashy green stuff here," she complained.

He seemed fascinated by her little rant.

"You're right," he decided, serious again. "Brown is warm."

They were at the amusement park by now. He turned back to her as he pulled into a parking space.

"Oh, I almost completely forgot," she remembered her conversation with Nathan. "Dad seems to trust me now."

"How did you know?"

"Well, when I told him that I'm going out with you it's like he's giving me his full permission to make my own decisions."

"That's wonderful!"

"I know!" Takuya hugged Zoe and spin her around.

Takuya later put Zoe down. Both of them proceed to the entrance.

They never noticed that Koji, JP and Koichi were following them to take a look at their 'date'. Koji was wearing his favorite blue jacket with matching black sunglasses; Koichi wearing his baseball hat; JP wearing his blue jumpsuit.

They emerged one by one from the entrance. JP into the clearing fell back immediately, allowing the other male to take the front, orienting himself around the tall, Koji in a manner that clearly displayed who was leading them. The third was Koichi; from the distance.

They closed ranks before they continued cautiously toward Takuya and Zoe.

As they approached, Takuya could almost see 'the pack'. They quickly hide behind the walls.

"What's wrong?" Zoe asked.

"I thought someone was following us," Takuya replied.

The couple continued walking to the entrance of the Bump Car.

Koji checked if the coast was clear. He thumbs up and walked forward to the Bump Car. Their walk was catlike, a gait that seemed constantly on the edge of shifting into crouch.

Their sharp eyes carefully took in the more polished, urbane stance of Takuya and Zoe, who, took their individual bump car rides.

"Do you guys wanna ride?" Koji faced JP and Koichi but they weren't where he expected but they left him.

Koichi stepped guardedly forward to his bump car ride. Without any seeming communication between them, JP straightened into his bump car seat beside Koichi more casually, erect bearing.

"Hey, guys! Wait up!" Koji easily caught up with his pack. He smiled an easy smile as he jumped on his bump car ride, exposing a flash of gleaming white teeth.

"You're going down, brother!" Koichi laughed.

"Guys, we're on a mission here," Koji snapped.

"Our mission here is to have fun!"

The bell rang and each and every vehicle moved. Koichi direct hit Koji.

"Grrr…" Koji groaned. "You asked for it!"

After the ride, Koji, JP and Koichi stepped toward to each other, smiling.

"Where are they?" Koji said in panicked voice, scanning the amusement park. "Great! We lost them!" He gestured to JP and Koichi.

"Calm down. We'll find them in no time." JP pointed, deliberately. Koichi felt a shock when he saw a chick.

The funky chick was wilder, her eyes shifting restlessly to Koichi, and the loose grouping around him, her chaotic hair quivering in the slight cool air. Her posture was distinctly feline.

"If you excise me, I've got a girl to flirt with," Koichi said. Before Koichi take his very first step away from Koji, his twin brother grabbed his shoulder.

"C'mon Koichi, we've got work to do," Koji smacked Koichi's head. "We split up. Meet each other here in ten minutes!"

**Ten Minutes Later**

"Yummy!" JP said in friendly tone as he sucked his cheezy thumb.

"You guys find anything?" Koji questioned.

"Nope. Not yet," Koichi raised his hands.

"Actually, before I bought French fries I saw them. But French Fries got me. Are you planning to ride on the roller coaster?" JP said.

"You egghead!" Koji scolded JP.

"Koji? JP? Koichi?" A friendly tone called their names.

The three turned around. And met Takuya and Zoe.

"What are you doing here?" Takuya wondered.

"We're asking the same question, what are you doing here?" Koichi repeated.

"Zoe and I are on a date," Takuya replied.

"Are you following us, again?" Zoe folded her arms and raised her left eyebrow.

"Ha!" Koji snorted. "Of course not!"

"We're…uhm…on…we…" JP got nothing.

"We planned yesterday to go here!" Koichi snapped.

"Right!" Koji added. "Seems like Takuya and Zoe run into us," Koji chuckled. And JP and Koichi followed.

"Where were you guys heading?" Zoe asked.

"We were…uh…"

"We were supposed to head north!" JP interrupted Koichi. "The Starbucks!"

"Well, we've been walking for hours Takuya," Zoe sighed. "I think we need a break."

"You're always welcome to join us in Starbucks!" Koji said causally.

"Cool!" Zoe jumped for joy.

After they drank their beverages at Starbucks. They decided to try some of the games at the amusement park. Zoe played 'Dart'. Takuya played 'Ring Toss'. JP played 'High Striker'. Koji played 'Bucket Game'. Koichi played 'Target Shooting Game'. They all won several plush toys.

"I heard that there's gonna be some fireworks at seven o'clock!" Zoe announced.

"What time is it?" Koji asked.

"Its quarter to seven," Koichi took a look at his watch. "Whoa, I didn't know we've been playing games for hours."

"We've rode the 'thrill' rides three times, remember?" JP reminded.

"We could fireworks if we take the Ferris Wheel," Zoe pointed to the Ferris Wheel.

Koji cleared his throat. "I'm going to ride with JP and Koichi."

"Looks like Takuya and Zoe are going to ride together," JP winked.

"Uhm…Koji," Koichi tried to say something.

"I know, it's the best idea I've ever had," Koji said in whisper and a chuckle.

"I know…but," Koji pulled Koichi to the Ferris Wheel ride.

Koichi stop before the ride but JP pushed him and he was trapped inside with Koji and JP in the Ferris Wheel. It was taller than he expected and thought.

Koichi looked down not once nor twice but thrice. He gulped.

"What's the matter with you brother?" Koji wondered. "It's not like we're going upside down over and over again."

Koichi imagined the Ferris Wheel rolling over. Koichi breathed slowly and out and pointed his finger to the outside and closed his eyes. Dizziness took over his place.

"Oh…you're afraid of heights," Koji finally realized.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" JP questioned.

"What?" Koichi mouthed.

"Just don't imagine the boat rolling gently down the stream. Rolling like, rolling over upside—"

"I get it, okay?!" Koichi interrupted Koji. He covered his mouth.

"Is his face turning blue or green?" JP said nervously.

"Both," Koji corrected.

"They were following us, weren't they?" Zoe wondered.

"And you knew right before we went here?" Takuya did answer her question.

"Yep."

"They get really obsessive about having a mission about love," Takuya chuckled.

"What mission?"

"Their mission, follow the couple."

"And Koji's the leader."

"You got that right."

A few minutes later talking, Takuya decided to give Zoe her present.

"A teddy bear?" Zoe was amazed to the cute plush bear of hers.

"Won it from the Ring Toss," The plush toy was brown and fuzzy fur, little ears, shiny and heart-shaped black nose.

"Aww…I must be the luckiest girl in the world," Zoe squeezed the toy.

"You love teddy bears, don't you?" Takuya asked.

"Definitely love so cute teddy bears!" Zoe giggled.

Takuya and Zoe can hear the countdown. Takuya and Zoe had a good spot on the spot for the fireworks. They stopped at the top. 5…4…3…2…1!!!

There were noises, lights everywhere. Smokes were everywhere in the sky. Zoe stood near the window and watched how the fireworks do their _thing. _The fireworks are burned with colored flames and sparks in red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and silver. There were a lot of kamuro and spider effects.

Zoe sighed and smiled. "Beautiful."

"It's very cool, isn't it?" Takuya stared at Zoe.

"Very cool," she replied.

"Here comes the finale!"

It was like a bomb full of golden sprinkles.

"Whohoo!" Takuya put his hands up.

"I love you, Takuya," Zoe whispered through Takuya's ears.

Takuya smiled and hugged her romantically. "Not as much as I love you."

**ANNOUNCEMENT PEOPLE OF EARTH! I WON'T BE UPLOADING 'I AM YOUR LIFE' MAYBE FOR A LONG TIME. I'M ABSOLUTELY SURE ABOUT THE FOLLOWING:**

**ONE, I HAVE A VACATION IN ISABELA AND NUEVA ECIJA IN FOUR DAYS WITHOUT INTERNET. (WHAHAHAHA)**

**TWO, I WILL BE TOO BUSY TO WORK ON THE NEXT CHAPTER. I WILL WORK ON MY THINGS FOR HIGH SCHOOL.**

**THREE, I'M MIGHT BE LAZY.**

**I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND AND ENJOY THE CHAPTER. DON'T FORGET TO READ/REVIEW!!!**

**INGATZ MGA MADLANG PEOPLE! (IN ENGLISH: TAKE CARE COZ' I CARE!)  
**


	8. The Music Room

**Yeah! I've got one week to work on I am Your Life...I've got work to do. Hope ya enjoy the chapter!!!**

Zoe realized she'd never played her guitar when she went out with Takuya; she smiled crookedly to herself, a peculiar expression in her eyes. The Teacher's were out and the students are making some noise I their classes while Zoe ditched her class. She went to the music room. She opened the door to the music room, pulled out her pick to the guitar, she took a seat as she grabbed the acoustic guitar, and settled it.

And her fingers started strumming, and the room was filled with her sweet voice.

_I've been waiting for my dreams  
To turn into something  
I could believe in  
and looking for that magic rainbow  
On the horizon  
I couldn't see it  
Until I let go  
Gave in to love  
Watched all the bitterness burn  
Now I'm coming alive  
Body and soul  
Feelin' my world start to turn_

While Takuya was walking down the hall, he heard someone singing.

"Zoe?" he raised an eyebrow.

He examined the voice, walking in the music room and hiding behind the walls so he wouldn't disturb Zoe.

_And I'll taste every moment  
And live it out loud  
I know this is the time  
This is the time to be  
More than a name or a face in the crowd  
I know this is the time  
This is the time of my life  
Time of my life…_

Takuya showed up behind Zoe and cleared his throat. Zoe stopped and turned around and met Takuya.

"Did you hear me singing?" Zoe asked shyly, embarrassed.

"Yep," Takuya smiled. "I gotta say, you're pretty good."

"Thanks," Zoe muttered.

"Where did you learn to play like that?" Takuya wondered.

"I got it from my Mom. I always watched her play her guitar," she explained.

Zoe continued playing her song. While she's playing, Takuya questioned her relentlessly about every insignificant detail of her existence. Movies she'd liked and hated, the few places she'd been and he many places she wanted to go, and books—endlessly books.

"There you are!" Koji surprised Takuya and Zoe. Zoe put down the acoustic guitar to stretch her fingers.

"We've been looking all over for you two!" JP followed.

"You've got a pretty nice voice, Zoe," Koichi commented.

"Thanks," Zoe grinned widely. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel way better than last night," Koichi replied.

"Yeah, he's been puking all night in our bed room!" Koji blurted without thinking.

"It's your fought anyway, if you let me explain before you pulled me at the Ferris Wheel, I wouldn't be sick," Koichi snapped.

"Okay, break it up," JP went between Koji and Koichi.

Takuya and Zoe laughed.

"May I ask you a question, Koji?" Zoe said.

"Why not?" Koji agreed.

"As the leader of JP and Koichi, why were you following us?" Zoe eyed him.

"Following?" Koji gulped.

Koichi pushed Koji a little closer to Zoe. "He's all yours, Zoe."

"Can't we ever get some privacy, here?" Zoe's eyes sharpened.

Takuya smirked.

"We weren't following you," Koji snorted.

"Then how come you're talking nervously?"

"Uhm…because I didn't slept well last night," Koji gulped.

"Oh, really?" Zoe stood quickly and took Koji's cell phone from his hand.

"Hey! Give that back!" Koji yelled.

"If…" Zoe stepped a lot of steps away from Koji.

"No way!" Koji stepped forward but Zoe backed away.

"You promise to not follow Takuya and me anymore?"

"Fine," Koji lied.

"Could you two please do this outside the music room?" Takuya asked.

"There are a lot of sharp and pointy things here," JP scanned the room. The sharp edges of the shelves, the cymbals.

"Oh c'mon, don't be a party pooper, Takuya. Besides, I don't like to be followed," Zoe said. "I knew that you're going to agree but doesn't mean you're going to agree," Zoe continued.

Koji tried to reach his cell phone from Zoe but he missed.

"Too slow," she teased. "I've got a better idea…" Zoe smiled as she read Koji's messages in his cell phone's inbox.

"Oh no she didn't!" Koji doesn't know what to do. Some of his secrets are in his inbox.

"Popcorn?" JP offered to Takuya and Koichi.

"Whoa, JP, you got us some snack in seconds!" Koichi took a handful and sat in front of the scene with JP and Koichi.

"I especially don't wanna miss the show," JP chuckled.

"Seriously, Koji, Zoe!" Takuya called over his seat. "How long is this going to last?"

"Ah…there it is!" Zoe snapped. "Blah. Blah. Blah…so you were following us, weren't you?!"

"So what?!" Koji pointed. He didn't care anymore. "Can I have my phone now?"

Zoe continued reading his messages. "Let me think…no!" Zoe didn't think at all.

"If I get my hands on your girlfriend, I swear—"

"Oh. My. Gosh!" Zoe interrupted Koji. "I can't believe you asked out the nerd in English Class!" Zoe blurted which gave Takuya, JP and Koichi a roar of laughter.

Koji's face was tomato red. "You better hide!" Koji threatened.

"You have no _taste!_" Zoe hissed. "Shame on you!" Zoe scolded. "'I love you with my whole heart, baby!'" Zoe didn't read silently the sent messages.

"Yikes!" JP clapped his hands.

"You need some help brother!" Koichi laughed like a choking bear.

Zoe can see that Koji is shaking in anger.

"I'm sure you and your _nerd girl _are having one hell of a time!" Zoe raised her hands proudly.

Koji had enough. He ran after Zoe, they were running in circle in the small room. Koji and Zoe were in speed even though they're curving, and Zoe was still wearing her laugh.

"Careful!" Takuya ordered. "Watch the shelves!"

Then seconds later, Zoe's head was slammed by the sharp-edged of the shelves.

"That's what you get for reading my messages," Koji muttered but didn't take his phone form Zoe's hand.

Zoe was landing on the floor, "OW! OUCH!" she roared quietly, pulling herself up but she can't. She thought she hit something stationary. She couldn't see. Her face was mashed into the floor. She tried to lift her head, but there was something in the way.

She was dizzy and confused. It sounded like there were three things snarling—the _thing _where head was hit, the voices in the music room, and something in her head…pain.

"Okay, Zoe," Takuya said, and she heard the boys standing up from their seats.

All the growling went silent.

"Wow," Zoe muttered. She was laughing.

"Zoe," Koichi said anxiously. "Zoe, are you crazy?"

"I'm alive!" Zoe enthused. She flexed her arms and legs. It seemed like the pain walked away. "That was awesome!

"I don't think so." JP sounded worried. "I think you'd better go to the clinic."

Zoe clapped her hand over her head and. There was wet and sticky. She could smell the saltiness and iron of her blood, and that she felt dizzier. She took a look at her hand to make sure.

"Um, Zoe? You've got a cut on your head, and its gushing blood," Takuya informed her.

"You can have this Koji," Zoe tossed him the phone. Koji almost dropped it. Zoe pushed hard against the gash, as if she could force the blood inside her head.

"You should've listen to me," Takuya scolded as he wrapped a long arm around her waist and pulled her to her feet. "Let's go to the clinic."

"Huh?" Zoe asked, dumbfounded.

"I wonder if she could have amnesia so she couldn't remember what she read," Koji wondered, JP smacked his head.

Takuya thought for a second. "Do you still know your name?" Takuya pulled of his handkerchief; Zoe's wound in her head; she breathed deeply through her mouth.

"I have no amnesia!" Zoe yelled to Koji. Zoe's head stung a little when she yelled loudly, and her stomach was uneasy, but the cut wasn't serious. Head wounds just bled more than most.

"I'm not used to seeing blood," JP covered his mouth.

"Okay, now can we hurry to the clinic?" Takuya said.

"I'm honestly fine," Zoe assured him. "Don't get worked up. It's just a little blood."

"Just a _little_ of blood?" Zoe heard him. "You're collar if filled with blood!"

"Now, let's think about this for second," Zoe began. "If you take me to the clinic like this, Dad is sure to hear about it." Zoe glanced down at the floor and blood caked into her sleeves.

"Zoe, I think you need stitches. We're not going to let you to bleed to death." Koichi took Zoe a seat.

"I won't," Zoe promised. "Just take me home so I can dispose of the evidence, besides, no teachers."

"For a 'wounded girl in the head' you're still a genius," Koji folded his arms.

Zoe tried to remember the messages she read. "Ah!" She groaned.

"What? Does it hurt?!" Takuya asked, almost panicked.

"No!" Zoe answered. "I can't remember the messages that I read from Koji's phone!" Zoe stood but fall quickly on the chair, feeling dizzy.

"Yes!" Koji jumped for joy. "That's called _k-a-r-m-a._" Koji spelled the word.

Takuya rolled his eyes. "What about Nathan?"

"He said he had to work today." Zoe replied.

"Are you really sure?"

"Trust me. I'm an easy bleeder. It's not nearly as dire as it looks."

The boys weren't happy except for Koji, Takuya's full mouth turned in an uncharacteristic frown—but he didn't want to get Zoe in trouble. Zoe sat very still, holding Takuya's ruined handkerchief to her head, while Takuya checking the hall.

"You still okay?" Koji checked.

"Yeah." Zoe tried to sound as convincing before. Her head down on the desk of the chair.

"By the way," JP added. "What else can't you remember?"

"Of all the _memories_, why couldn't I forget before the read the inbox?!" Zoe whined.

"You're safe, bro," Koichi patted Koji's back.

"Okay, people! We have a mission!" Koji pointed his finger in the air. "Get Zoe Orimoto safe and sound to her home sweet home."

Zoe rolled her eyes. "This is going to be a long day," Zoe muttered to herself.


	9. Questions and Answers

"Hurry up," Takuya called from the door.

"Okay, okay," Zoe shouted back. She stood from the chair.

"Easy there," Koji reminded.

Zoe didn't reply. Koji went outside of the room, Takuya, JP, Zoe and Koichi following.

"It's really creepy when nobody's at the hall," JP shivered in fear.

"We'll cover you," Koji said to Takuya and Zoe.

"It's not like we're having a war," Takuya rolled his eyes. "I'll carry you from here, Zoe," Takuya insisted.

"You don't have to. I can—"

Takuya didn't let Zoe finish instead, he threw her across his back as he had before, and she could see the extra effort it took for him to be as gentle as he was.

"Never mind," Zoe muttered. She locked her legs around his waist and secured her arms in a choke hold around his neck.

"Don't forget to close your eyes," JP warned severely.

Zoe quickly tucked her face into his shoulder blade, under her own arm, and squeezed her eyes shut.

Before Takuya move, a classmate of theirs in English room with satiny copper skin and long, straight, crow-black hair was standing behind them.

And then she asked. "Where are you going?" in a melodic voice, and Takuya and the rest face her full on, a smile on half of their faces.

"Oh," Koji said, surprised. "We're going home," he said.

"Why?"

"It's healthy to ditch class now and then." JP smiled at her, but their eyes were still troubled.

"Well, I'm going," their classmate, Jane, told them. "Besides, the teachers' are out."

"We'll see ya later, then." Koichi waved. Then she was gone.

"That was close," Takuya whistled.

"We've got your back, Takuya," Koji said.

"Yeah, you always know how we got your back," JP smirked.

"Just go if you don't want Zoe to lose some more blood," Koichi snapped.

"Thanks guys," Takuya muttered.

Zoe could hardly tell they were moving. She could feel him gliding along beneath her, but he could have been strolling down the sidewalk, the movement was so smooth. She was tempted to peek, just to see if he was really running on the street like before, but she resisted. It wasn't worth that awful dizziness. She contented herself with listening to his breath come and so evenly.

She wasn't quite sure they had stopped until he reached back and touched her hair.

"It's over, Zoe."

She dared to open her eyes, and, sure enough, they were at a standstill. She stiffly unlocked her stranglehold on his body and slipped to the ground, landing on the backside.

"Oh!" She huffed as she hit the ground.

He stared at her incredulously, evidently not sure whether he was still too mad to find her funny. But her bewildered expression pushed him over their bush, and he broke into a roar of laughter.

She picked herself up, almost fall again because of her dizziness, ignoring him as she brushed the mud and bracken off the back of her jacket. That only made him laugh harder. Annoyed, she began to stride off into the house.

She felt his arm around her waist.

"Where are you going, Zoe?"

"To take care of my wound. You don't seem to be interested in taking me inside the house anymore, but I'm sure I will be fine without you."

"You're going the wrong way."

Zoe turned around without looking at him and stalked off in the opposite direction. Zoe opened the door.

At home, she went to look at herself in the mirror first thing; it was pretty gruesome. Blood was drying in thick steaks across her cheek and neck, matting in her hair. She examined herself clinically, pretending the blood was paint so it wouldn't upset her stomach. She breathed through her mouth, and was fine.

She washed up as well as she could. Then she hid her dirty bloody clothes in the bottom of the laundry basket, putting on new jeans and button up shirt as careful as she could. She managed to do this one-handed and keep both garments blood-free.

Zoe tripped and Takuya caught her again. "Don't be mad, I couldn't help myself. You should have seen your face." He chuckled before he could stop himself.

"Oh, you're the only one who's allowed to get mad?" She asked, raising her eyebrows as she reached for the First Aid.

"I never said that."

"Who cares?" She sniffed.

"You look better than a minute ago," he changed the subject.

"Thank—don't change the subject!"

"You hit your head pretty hard, didn't you?"

"I'm serious!"

Takuya grinned. "You're sort of welcome."

"Well, then, no thanks, sort of."

Zoe had to have seven stitches to close the cut in her head. After the sting of the local anesthetic, there was no pain in the procedure. Zoe held Takuya's t-shirt while he was sewing, and she tried not to think about why that was ironic.

Takuya was at Zoe's house forever.

"Now, I can say thanks—ouch!" Zoe shrugged.

"I love you," he replied. "It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but it's still true."

Zoe chuckled as she punched playfully Takuya's arms.

It continued like that for the rest of the day. While Takuya and Zoe walked together in English, when they met each other after Spanish, all through the lunch hours, Takuya questioned her relentlessly.

Zoe was still trying to remember the last time she touched Koji's cell phone. She felt self-conscious, certain she must be boring him. But the absolute absorption of his face, and his never-ending stream of questions, compelled her to continue. Mostly his questions were easy, only a very few were triggering her easy blushes. But when she did flush, it brought on a whole new round of questions.

Such as the time he asked her favorite gemstone, and she blurted topaz before thinking. He'd been flinging questions at her with such speed that she felt she was taking one of those psychiatric tests where you answer with the first word that comes to mind. She was sure he would have continued down whatever mental list he was following, except for the blush. Her face reddened because, until very recently, her favorite gemstone was garnet. It was impossible, while staring back into his chocolate-brown eyes, not to remember the reason to switch. And, naturally, he wouldn't rest until she admitted why she was embarrassed.

"Tell me," Zoe finally commanded while she's eating her lunch. "Am I on an interview?"

"What's the matter for asking questions to my girl?" Takuya sighed, surrendering, staring down at her hands as she fiddled with a piece of her hair.

"I supposed if you asked me in two weeks I'd say onyx." She'd given more information than necessary in her unwilling honesty, and she worried it would provoke that strange anger that flared whatever she slipped and revealed too clearly how obsessed she was.

But his paused was very short.

"What kinds of flowers do you prefer?" he fired off.

Zoe sighed in relief, and continued with the psychoanalysis.

Biology was complication again. Takuya had continued with his quizzing up until Mr. Broman entered the room, dragging the audiovisual frame again. As the teacher approached the light switch, Zoe noticed Takuya slide his chair slightly away father away from hers. It didn't help. As room as the room was dark, there was the same electric spark, the same restless craving stretch her hand across the short space and touch his hot skin.

Zoe leaned forward on the table, resting her chin on her folded arms, her hidden fingers gripping the table's edge as she fought to ignore the irrational longing that unsettled her. She didn't look at her, afraid that is she was looking at her, it would only make self-control that much harder. She sincerely tried to watch the movie, but at the end of the hour she had no idea what she'd just seen. She sighed in relief again when Mr. Broman turned the lights on, finally glancing at Takuya; he was looking at her, his eyes ambivalent.

He rose in silence and then stood still, waiting for her. They walked toward the gym in silence. And, touched her face wordlessly—this time with the back of his hot hand, stroking once from her temple to her jaw—before he turned and walked away.

Gym passed quickly as Koji and Zoe played badminton. Koji spoke to her.

"I didn't felt about when we were in the Music Room," Zoe told Koji.

"I'm so thankful you hit your head pretty hard," Koji chuckled.

"What date is today?"

"September twelve," Koji answered.

"Whoa, time is really moving fast."

"Yeah, I wished it would just slow down."

"We've still got one hundred miles away from graduating, so let's make every second counts."

Koji grinned. "Say, how's your head?"

"Better," she admitted. "But when you go over to my house, I'll make sure you tripped in my garage and hit your head on a hammer."

"Sure, I guess so."

"Bye, then."

Zoe hurried to change afterward, ill at ease, knowing the faster she moved, the sooner she would be with Takuya. The pressure made her more clumsy than usual, but eventually she made t out the door, feeling the same release when she saw him standing there, a wide smile automatically spreading across her face. He smiled in reaction before launching into more cross-examination.

His questions were different now, though, not as easily answered. He wanted to know what she's missing now, insisting on descriptions of anything he wasn't familiar with. They sat in front of Nathan's house for hours, as the sky darkened and rain plummeted around them in a sudden deluge.

She tried to describe impossible things like the scent of creosote—bitter, slightly resinous, but still pleasant—the high keening sound of the cicadas in September, the feathery barrenness of the tree, the very size of the sky, extending with-blue from horizon to horizon, barely interrupted by the low mountains covered with purple rocks. The hardest thing to explain was why it was so beautiful to Zoe—to justify a beauty that didn't depend on the sparse, spiny vegetation that often looked half dead, a beauty that had more to do with the exposed shape of the land, with the shallow bowls of valleys between the craggy hills, and the way they held on the sun. She found herself using her hands as she tried to describe him.

His quiet, probing questions kept her talking freely, forgetting, in the dim light storm, to be embarrassed for monopolizing the conversation. Finally, when she had finished detailing the cluttering room at home, Zoe paused. And had an idea.

Zoe pulled Takuya into the rain.

"Cut the questions for a while, Takuya," Zoe smiled on the rain. The rain grew stronger than they thought.

"I'm not yet finished," He said in relief.

Zoe threw a pile of mud to Takuya by surprise. "She hits! She scores!" She announced.

"You're asking for a game?" Takuya asked. "I'm gonna give you one!"

For the rest of the fifteen minutes Takuya and Zoe were throwing each other of mud under the strong storm.

"I had enough, Zoe," Takuya surrendered, laughing.

"You're more of like an attacker than an avoider," Zoe noted.

"You know, your father will be home soon."

"Dad!" She suddenly recalled his existence, and sighed. Zoe looked at the rain-darkened sky. But it gave nothing away. "What time is it?" She wondered out loud as she glanced at her water-proof watch. She was surprised by the time—Nathan would be driving home now.

"It's six o'clock," Takuya murmured, looking at the western horizon, obscured as it was with clouds. His voice was thoughtful, as if his mind were somewhere far away. She stared at him as he gazed unseeingly out the windshield.

She was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to hers.

"You better get inside," he said, answering the unspoken question in her eyes. "If you don't wanna get sick." He smiled wistfully.

"I love the rain. Without the rain, it would be hot forever." She frowned. "Not that it's hot around here much."

Takuya laughed, and the mood abruptly lightened.

"Nathan will be here in a few minutes. So, you want to wait for him outside, raining pretty hard, or you're gonna dry yourself inside…?" he raised one eyebrow.

"Thanks," she said. "Tomorrow's Saturday, then?"

"Yep!" His face was teasingly outraged.

"It's true, Time is Gold."

"Yeah, so don't miss anything."

"I won't." Zoe smiled. "Will you need an umbrella?"

"Nope." As he grabbed his backpack at their terrace.

"But you're books will get wet."

"Take care." Takuya kissed her on the cheek then he was out of sight.

The rain grew louder as it glanced down at her. She decided to wait for Nathan outside.

"Hey, Zoe," called Nathan

"Dad," she said, moving closer to him.

"Zoe!" Nathan called as he recognized Zoe.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't see you outside, Zoe," he said disapprovingly.

"Dad," Zoe whined while she opened the door and flicked on the porch light.

"Why were you on the rain?" Nathan laughed.

"I missed the rain." Zoe went inside, leaving the door open behind her and turning on the lights before she grabbed a towel. Then she stood in the stairs, watching anxiously Nathan.

"Get dry before you catch a cold," Nathan was saying.

"It's been a while," Zoe replied.

"It seems like you've been under the rain for hours. Were you playing mud?"

"Technically yes, but—"

"Take a bath," he interrupted.

"I hope I'm not a bad time for you."

"No, it's great. Hurry up. There's a movie."

Zoe grinned. "What's the movie?"

"Stay Alive—I know how you love horror movies," he added.

"Are you hungry?" Zoe asked.

"I'll cook. Just take a bath, please," he replied, Zoe moving in her bathroom. She could hear Nathan cooking.


	10. Cold Medicines

The grilled cheese sandwiches were in the frying pan and Nathan was slicing up a tomato when he sensed someone behind him.

"So, how are things?" Nathan asked.

"Pretty good." She smiled. "My badminton team won all four games."

"Wow, you know, you reminded me of your mother."

"Mom was actually really good at playing sports," Zoe said.

"And, you were you teaming with?"

"Um…Koji Minamoto," she told him reluctantly.

"Oh yeah—nice family." He mused for a minute.

"How about you?"

"Yep." He smiled as well. Finally, dinner was finished. "C'mon, we'll eat while we watch." Nathan and Zoe carried their food out to the sofa.

It was a long night. She had a lot of homework that was going undone, but she wanted to finish the horror movie. Finally, the movie ended.

"Is Takuya coming back here soon?" Nathan asked.

Zoe hesitated, searching for details she could safely share. "You—"

"No need to keep it from me, I ran over me while ago from our house,"

"Oh," she said, trying to sound indifferent. "I'm not sure," she hedged.

"That was fun, Zoe," Nathan said.

"Tell me when there's another movie," Zoe encouraged.

"Sure, sure," Nathan said. "Good night." He smiled.

"Thanks," she muttered. She headed for the stairs while Nathan waved from the living room.

Nathan smiled. His crinkly-eyes smile. "It's good she's going out with Takuya…she reminds me so much of her mother—she's too much like her." He told himself.

Takuya slept better on the last day of weekend, too tired to dream. When he woke to the pearl gray morning, his mood was blissful. The fun day with Zoe seemed harmless enough now; he can't forget it completely. He caught himself whistling while he walked down the stairs. Shinya noticed.

"You're cheerful this morning," he commented over breakfast.

He shrugged. "It's Friday." He read the note that was post at the refrigerator.

**I've gone to L.A. I'll be back in one week. Take care.**

"What's she doing in Los Angeles?" Takuya questioned.

"I don't know. Maybe be find a job or something."

Takuya and Shinya hurried so they would be ready to go. They had their bag ready, shoes on, teeth brushed.

"Are you going to Zoe's?" Shinya asked.

"Yep."

"Can I come?"

"Whatever."

"I'll take that as a yes!"

Takuya and Shinya were waiting outside. Zoe didn't hesitate this time, walking quickly to the boys, the sooner to see Takuya's face. Both of them grinned their crooked smile at Zoe. She couldn't imagine Takuya could be Shinya's younger version.

"What's up Zoe?" Shinya asked. He wondered if he had any idea how appealing his voice was.

"Nothing new. How are you today?"

"Mom left as home alone." His smiled was amused; she felt like she was missing an inside joke. "Are you going to be my sister someday?"

Takuya and Zoe chuckled.

"Maybe." Zoe grinned.

"Okay, okay, let's not bring that topic there, Shinya," Takuya said.

While walking to English class, Takuya wanted to know about people today: more about Zoe's mother, her hobbies, what they'd done in their free time together. And then the one grandmother she'd known, her few school friends—embarrassing her when he asked about boys she'd dated. She was relieved that she'd never really dated anyone, so that particular conversation couldn't last long. He seemed surprise by her lack of romantic history.

"So you never met anyone you wanted?" he asked in serious tone that made her wonder what he was thinking about.

She was grudgingly honest. "Not until we went out."

His lips pressed together into a hard line.

They were in cafeteria at this point. The day had sped by in the blur that was rapidly becoming routine. She took advantage of his brief pause take a bite of her bagel.

"I'm worried about Mom," he announced, apropos of nothing, while she chewed.

"Why?" she demanded.

"I don't know. I feel like something bad is going to happen to her."

"Oh." She blinked, bewildered and disappointed. "She'll be okay. I know she has a guardian angel by her side today."

Takuya frowned at her impatiently. "I hope."

Zoe went to class, feeling dutiful. She couldn't be honestly say what happened in Biology; her mind was too preoccupied with thoughts of Takuya. In Gym, Koji spoke to her about Takuya.

"I hate it when Takuya's worried," he said, suddenly sulky.

"Tell me about it, it's gonna take forever to calm him down."

"What are you doing, then?" he asked, too interested.

"Laundry, and then I have to study for the Trig test of I'm going to fail."

"Are you helping Takuya study?"

"Yep."

"Oh." He perked up. "I've been looking forward on our Christmas Ball, are you going to the dance?"

"Well…"

"Oh c'mon Zoe, our Trig test is before our Valentine's Day Dance," he pouted.

"Fine." She sulked.

"Promise?"

"Promise!" Koji gave Zoe a high five. "The Christmas Ball is on December, what are you so excited about…it's still December."

"You'll never notice anyway that's it's already December."

When the school day had finally ended, she walked home with Takuya without enthusiasm. Zoe wanted to walk home with Takuya today, but she couldn't see why. Then again, Zoe was starting to get worried as Takuya is. Zoe shook her head, incredulous, as she stopped in front of her house.

"Be safe." Takuya said elegantly. And seconds later he was gone.

Inside, Zoe went straight to her room. Zoe called Takuya, asking him if is everything alright, she said goodbye quickly after that.

Nathan was absentminded at dinner, worried over something at work, she guessed, or maybe a basketball game, or maybe he was just really enjoying the lasagna—it was hard to tell Nathan.

"Dad…," she began, breaking into his reverie.

"What's that, Zoe?"

"Can I sleepover to Takuya's? I think he needs a supporter because he's pretty having trouble with his Mom."

"Oh," he said, surprised. "Oh, okay. So, when?"

"I'll ask him tomorrow. Don't worry I'll do my homework, laundry…"

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, Dad. Besides, I'm in control."

"You're sure easy to live with now, Zoe." He smiled.

"I could say the same thing about you," she said, laughing. The sound of her laughter was off, but he didn't seem to notice. She felt so guilty for deceiving him.

After dinner, she folded her clothes and moved another load of dryer. Unfortunately it was kind of job that only keep hands busy. Her mind definitely had too much free time, and it was getting out of control. She fluctuated between anticipation so intense that it was very nearly pain, and an insidious fear that picked at her resolve. She had to keep reminding herself that she made her choice, and she wasn't going back on it. She would just hold on to the faith that, in the end, that desire would win out over that others. And what was her other choice—to cut Takuya out of her life? Intolerable. Besides, since she went out with Takuya, it really seemed like her life was _about _him.

But a tiny voice in the back of her wind worried, wondering if it would hurt _very _much…if it ended badly.

She was relieved when it was late enough to be acceptable for bedtime. She knew she was far too stressed to sleep, so she did something she'd never done before. She deliberately took unnecessary cold medicine—the kind that knocked me out for good eight hours. She normally wouldn't condone that type of behavior in herself, but tomorrow would be complicated enough without being loopy from sleep deprivation on top of everything else. While she waited for the drugs to kick in, she dried her clean hair till it was impeccably straight, and fussed over what she would wear tomorrow.

With everything ready for the morning, she finally lay in her bed. She felt hyper; she couldn't stop twitching. She got up and took her mp3. She out her headphones on quietly and then lay down again, concentrating on relaxing individual parts of her body. Somewhere in the middle of that exercise, the cold pills took effect, and she gladly sank into unconsciousness.

She woke early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly thanks to her gratuitous drug use. Though she was well rested, she slipped tight back into the same hectic frenzy from the night before. She dressed in rush, smoothing her collar against her neck, fidgeting with the tan sweater till it hung right over her jeans. She sneaked a swift look out the window to see that Nathan was already gone. A thin, cottony layer of clouds veiled the sky. They didn't look very lasting.

She ate breakfast without tasting the food, hurrying to clean up when she was done. She peeked out the window again, but nothing had changed. She had just finished brushing her teeth and was heading back downstairs when a quiet knock sent her heat and thudding against her rub cage.

She flew to the door; she had a little trouble with the simple dead bolt, but she yanked the door open at last, and there he was. All the agitation dissolved as soon as she looked at his face, calm taking its place. She breathed a sigh of relief—yesterday's fears seemed very foolish with him here.

He wasn't smiling at first—his face was somber. But then his expression lightened as he looked her over, and he laughed.

"Good morning," he chuckled.

"Looks like your back to your old self." She glanced down to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything important, like shoes, or pants.

"We match." He laughed again. She realized he had a long, light tan sweater on, with a white collar showing underneath, and blue jeans. She laughed with him, hiding a secret of twinge of regret.

She locked the door behind her.

"How did you sleep?" he asked while they walked down the street to their school.

"Fine. How was your night?"

"Pleasant." He smiled. "Let me guess, you drank sleeping pills."

"How'd you guess?"

"Probably you were so worried about me. You can't sleep because of me so you drank cold medicines," he explained.

Zoe punched Takuya playfully. "That is so—"

"True!" Takuya interrupted. "Admit it, you're nothing without me!"

"Oh please," she snorted.

"What are you going to do if I say I am your life?"

"Guess I could show you better than I can tell you," she said as she pinched Takuya's hot cheek.

"Okay…ow!" He rubbed his cheek.

Right before Takuya take Zoe home, Shinya jumped between them.

"Can Zoe sleep over to our house today?" Shinya asked.

"I'm not sure…" Takuya tried to think quickly.

"Another time then…" Zoe quickly said.

"Why not now?" Shinya pouted.

"I haven't asked permission _exactly _to my Dad," Zoe explained.

"Oh c'mon Zoe, Shinya's been dying to have you at our house," Takuya also pouted.

"Well…"

"Are you going to say yes if I've already told Mr. Nathan that you're going to sleep at our house?" Shinya smiled widely.

Zoe's eyes widened. "How close are you to my Dad?"

"I can turn anybody's heads upside down."

Zoe smiled. "Solve!"

"Alright!" Shinya jumped up.

"I'm really glad you're staying over tonight, our dinner is pretty yummy tonight!" Takuya added.

They walked well, when they kept the speed reasonable, Zoe had to admit. Like so many things, it seemed to be effortless to the Kanbara brothers. Takuya was holding Zoe's hand while they were walking to the Kanbara household. Sometimes Takuya and Shinya gazed into the setting sun, sometimes Shinya glanced at Zoe—her face, her hair blowing out the air, Takuya and Zoe's hands twined together.

Takuya and Shinya began singing along with a song she'd never heard. They knew every line.

"You like soft rock?" she asked.

"Soft rocks were good. Much better than alternative, or the mellow, ugh!" Takuya shuddered. "Green Day rocks!"

"Are you ever going to tell me how you and Takuya got together?" Shinya asked tentative, not wanting to upset Takuya's buoyant humor.

"Does it matter much?" Takuya's smile, to their relief, remained unclouded.

"No, but I still wonder…" Shinya grimaced. There's nothing like an unsolved mystery to shut me up."

"I wonder if it will upset you," he reflected to himself. He gazed into the sun; the minutes passed.

"Try me," Shinya finally said.

"C'mon, telling him won't hurt. He _is _your little brother," Zoe reminded.

He sighed, and then looked into Zoe's eyes, seeming to forget the road completely for a time. Whatever he saw there must be encouraged him. He looked into the sun—and spoke.

"You're too young to understand." He paused and glanced at Shinya from the corner of his eyes. Shinya and Zoe's faces were carefully unsurprised, patient for the rest. He smiled a tiny smile and continued. "We'll you two stop looking at me like that it's creeping me out."

He heard Zoe's intake of breath, though it was barely audible to her own ears. He looked down to her eyes again.

"Why not asked Zoe to tell you the romantic story of ours?" He was lost in his thoughts for a short time before he went on.


	11. Sleepover

**JAIDEE'S BACK IN THE ZONE! I miss my sweet home here in Tarlac! Hope ya enjoy the next chapter of I AM YOUR LIFE**

"I don't remember it well—it was a month ago, but the memory of that moment never fades." He was lost in his thoughts for a short time before he went on. "I do remember how it felt, when I saw Zoe's eyes. It's not an easy thing to ask her out, not something you could forget."

"And…?" Shinya said.

"She had wakened me up. I don't feel alone anymore. That was why I chose her. In all the people of Shibuya, I never realized I never felt this way before."

"How did she—"

"Okay, the others are private. Don't worry, you'll feel this way someday," Takuya interrupted.

A few seconds passed before someone broke the silence. It seemed that Koji, JP and Koichi had ears all over the places.

"It was difficult. Can we, too, sleepover at your house?" Koji jumped beside Zoe.

Takuya thought for a second. "For me, it is merely very, very painful to say yes."

They could tell from the set of Takuya's lips, he would say no more on Koji. Zoe suppressed curiosity, though it was far from idle. There were many things she needed to think through on this particular issue, things were only beginning to occur to her. No doubt Takuya's quick mind had already comprehended every aspect that eluded her.

His soft voice interrupted her thoughts. "Let me guess, you were spying on us, again!"

"Nope. We're through on spying with ya," JP answered.

"So you must be happy, then, because—"

"We get it…so, what are you planning to do?" Zoe interrupted Koichi.

"Hmm," Koji paused.

"Making us a music video and post it to the class," Takuya chuckled.

"Nope," Koji hissed. "We're going to make a love story and blurt it to our class but your idea's a lot cooler and sweeter than mine!" Koji snapped.

"What?" Takuya widened his eyes. "Oh c'mon! It was just an expression!"

"Look on the bright side, Takuya. At least we're gonna get our privacies," Zoe grinned her angelic smile.

They laughed.

"Hey, got some great news for you guys!" JP announced. "There will no classes tomorrow until Friday."

Everyone was thrilled to JP's announcement. Koji, JP, Zoe and Koichi went home to get their pajamas, bathroom supplies and a few clothes that will end up until Sunday.

Takuya heard the footsteps of his friends in front of his house; he saw Shinya answered the door bell.

"I brought movies!" Koji and Koichi announced.

"I brought us some snacks!" JP added.

"And I brought us some fun and cool games!" Zoe followed.

Takuya chuckled ghostly.

"Where's your brother?" Koji asked Shinya.

"In here." Takuya called. He grabbed his dinner from the microwave and sat at the table as his friends walked in. Their footsteps sounded so noisy.

"Can you I have some of that also?" JP asked.

Takuya took his food with him, scarping it down as he got his friends dinner. It burned their tongue. Shinya served glasses with milk while their lasagna was heating, and gulped their milk to put out the fire.

"Thanks for the food," Zoe said as she sat o the table as well.

"What to do after this?" Takuya asked. The words were rushed.

"Movies!" Shinya replied.

"Good," JP commented.

"What types of movies did you brought?" Zoe asked.

"Well, what do we got, brother?" Koji asked Koichi.

"We got…romance…action…comedy…horror…." Koichi put the pile of DVDs on the microwave.

"Oooh…I love horror!" Zoe sounded excited.

"For a girl like you…you're pretty brave," Shinya surprised Zoe by being observant.

"Not really—what do you think guys?" Zoe took another big bite.

"Horror seems nice," Koji agreed.

Everyone finished with their last bite of lasagna, and chugged the remains of their milk.

"What's the scariest among the three?" Koji showed them the case of the horror movies.

"Dawn of The Dead…A Nightmare on Elm Street…or Friday the 13th?" Koichi named the movies.

"Definitely 'A Nightmare on Elm Street'." Takuya, JP and Zoe at the same time.

Takuya, Koji, JP and Koichi arranged the sofa in the living room. Koji set the TV for the movie. Takuya went back to his room to get pillows and blankets for they will all sleep at the living room. JP and Koichi handled the snacks.

"Are you sure you wanna join us Shinya?" Zoe asked thoughtfully.

"Yeah, thanks for your concern."

"You look kinda not sure," Zoe noted.

"Do I?" was all Shinya could manage in response. Zoe helped Shinya wash the dished. Zoe quickly scrubbed the dished clean in the sink while Shinya placed them upside down on a dish towel dry.

"Tomorrow's Friday," Shinya mused.

Zoe didn't respond.

"No plans tomorrow?" Shinya asked suddenly.

"We don't know yet, Shinya."

"You could use Mom's Room for a while." Shinya played cool.

"Thanks." Zoe said carefully.

"Let's all clean ourselves before we take another step in the living room…" Takuya announced.

"Let's hurry up, Shinya."

"Well, race ya to the stairs, anyway."

All of them run up to the stairs, Koji, JP, Zoe and Koichi with their backpacks; of course the boys to Takuya and Shinya's room while Zoe to Mrs. Kanbara's Room. They shut the door loud enough for each others to hear.

Zoe hopped up grabbing her pajamas from her backpack, her toiletries off the bag. She left the light on and slipped out, closing the door.

Zoe meant to hurry. She brushed her teeth fiercely, trying to be through and _speedy, _removing all traces of lasagna. But the hot water of the shower couldn't be rushed. It unknotted the muscles in her back, calmed her pulse. The smell of Mrs. Kanbara's shampoo reminded of her own mother. She tried not to think of anything, because then she had to start all over with the calming process. Finally, she couldn't delay anymore. She shut off the water, toweling hastily, rushing again. She pulled on her holey t-shirt and gray sweatpants. Too late to regret packing Victoria's Secret silk pajamas her father got her two birthday's ago, which still had the tags.

She rubbed the towel through her hair again, and the yanked the brush through it quickly. She threw to towel in the hamper, flung her brush and toothpaste into her bag. Then dashed down the stairs, he saw her friends in pajamas also, with wet hair, sitting on the floor, waiting for Zoe.

"After thirty years!" Koji insulted.

"Shut up," Zoe hissed.

"Oh please, stop acting that you weren't slow," Takuya said.

"Yeah, brushing your teeth almost took us forever," Koichi laughed with the others.

Zoe smiled as she Indian-sat at the sofa.

"Please don't tell me Zoe's gonna take the sofa," Koji begged to Takuya.

"Is this your property?" Takuya questioned.

"Nope."

"Then shut up."

"No, its okay, I'll take sleep at the floor," Zoe insisted.

"Just ignore Koji," JP told Zoe.

"Besides, you're the only girl in the house," Koichi noted.

"We'll treat you us our princess," Shinya smiled widely.

Zoe laughed. "No thanks, but I'll take the sofa," Zoe sat beside Takuya at the floor, sitting Indian-sit.

Shinya turned the lights off. JP brought three bags of popcorn at the living room. Takuya played the movie. Everyone became silent.

At the beginning of the movie, at the Springwood Diner with his girlfriend, falls asleep at the table and meets a man covered in burn scars, wearing a red and green sweater and a clawed glove on his hand. The burned man cuts the boy's throat in the dream, but in reality it appears that the boy is cutting his own throat as friend and waitress looks on with the boy's girlfriend.

"No need to be scared, Zoe," Takuya pinned Zoe against his body.

Zoe snorted. "I know…I've got my knight and shining armor right here." Zoe tried to slide out from under Takuya's arm, and Takuya's arm fell off her.

"Get a room." Koji interrupted.

"Popcorn?" Koichi handed Takuya and Zoe a one bowl of popcorn.

Takuya caught it and took a handful of popcorn and shove it into his mouth.

"He's coming for you…Freddy's coming for you…" JP whimpered. Hugging him and rocking back and forth like a baby.

"JP, it's just a movie," Koji reminded.

"Get a grip, JP. Shinya can watch the bloody movie, and so can you!" Takuya snapped.

"Shh!" Shinya interrupted, enjoying the bloody moment.

The girl meets the burned man in her dreams and is murdered. She was all covered in blood.

"I told you! You should've locked your door…she should've locked her door…" JP cried.

"JP, are you okay?" Koji asked, getting worried on his friend.

"Just pretend you're dreaming a good dream," Koichi patted JP's back.

"Don't fall asleep…don't fall asleep…never sleep again…never sleep again…" JP said while he rocked back and forth again as a crazy man.

When the movie was almost over, JP calmed a little bit.

"There's, like, two minutes left, and everything's all over," Koji comforted JP.

With the girl being told to get some sleep, the burned man suddenly appears in mirror's reflection and kills the girl pulling the body through the mirror, making JP scream.

JP jumped up as he accidently tossed the bowl of popcorn away from Koichi's arms.

"I knew it! I knew it!" JP screamed.

"Damn it, JP! It's just a movie!" Koichi smacked JP's head.

"That was the scariest movie I've ever seen!" Shinya cheered. "When can we watch that again?"

"Don't sleep…don't sleep…if we don't wake up screaming we will never wake up!" JP warned his friends. Still hadn't forgotten what he saw from the movie.

Takuya lunged forward, away from Zoe. With a loud smacking sound, his fist hit JP's face. JP's eyes rolled back in his head, and his mouth fell slack.

The room was very quiet for a few seconds.

"Um," Koji said in mild voice. "I'm not sure that was the most helpful thing for his condition."

"But _I _feel better, Takuya answered, sullen.

Zoe smiled the tiniest smile. "Well, unconsciousness won't kill him."

"What just happened?" Shinya was by Zoe's head, speaking in a murmur.

"JP was panicking," Koichi answered before Zoe could. "Are we really surprised?"

"I didn't know he's afraid of scary movies," Zoe muttered.

Shinya looked at Takuya.

"No more horror movies for you, JP," Takuya noted.

"I'm sure somebody's going to annoy him," Zoe said.

Koichi arranged JP's positioned.

"We have to go to sleep, it's getting late," Koji yawned.

"It's already late," Shinya snapped.

"It's midnight," Zoe added.

"I'm hungry," Takuya followed.

"I'll make us some midnight snack," Koichi went to the kitchen to get some cookies, Cokes and some more Popcorns.

After they ate their snacks, they went to sleep. Zoe lied down on the sofa, of course. Zoe was so tired. She didn't care anything but to sleep.

Of course, that was when JP was talking in sleep late in the morning.

"Uuuh," he groaned, just a whisper. "He's in the house!" He yelled.

With the groan of everyone else, Zoe rolled toward him.

"Wake up," Zoe whispered.

"Ahh!" JP yelled in pain.

Koji hushed JP who was screaming. "Will you keep it down there? I'm trying to sleep here!"

Zoe rolled her eyes. Zoe covered Koji's face with a pillow. "Don't worry, I'll be at your, ah, funeral," laughed. Koji was trying to breathe but he couldn't find air.

"Zoe, that's not a joke," Koichi reminded her.

"I know…" Zoe replied. "But it just feels good to be bad,"

"Zoe, please?" Shinya said.

"Hmm…" Zoe sighed but still covering Koji's face with the pillow. "Say the magic word Koji," Zoe told Koji.

Koji said something but it was too blur to understand.

"You just say what?" Zoe asked.

Koji had enough and pulled off of the pillow away from him.

"Zoe," Koji gasped. "Are you _trying _to be annoying? Or you're trying to murder me?"

Zoe tied to breathe evenly. "Technically, yes…its better you're asleep. It's better if you think I'm killing you."

"JP, you're drooling!" Takuya yelled though JP's ears. Still not waking up.

"Let me handle this," Zoe said proudly. Her hand swing out to slap the sleeping JP hard across the face. His head snapped right and then left. She slapped him again. And his awake.


	12. The Call

"Aw, hell!" JP grumbled. Everybody's gaze flickered toward at JP at the sound of hid voice. They could just see his bright eyes around Zoe's elbow, focused on her. "What the heck was that for?" he complained

"JP, you were drooling," Takuya arranged the pillows and blankets.

"Right." JP remembered his nightmare. "I'm alive?" JP's fingers were on his stomach. "I'm alive!" he exclaimed.

Everybody rolled their eyes on JP.

Koji blinked at Shinya, and both of them smiled at each other and looked at JP.

"Will you two stop staring at me like that?" JP dropped his smile.

"One. Two. Freddy's coming for you." Koji tried to sound like an angelic voice.

"Three. Four. Better lock your door," Shinya added. "Five. Six. Grab your crucifix."

JP gulped. His arm hairs were standing up.

"Seven. Eight. Better stay up late." Koji followed.

"Nine. Ten. Never sleep again." Koji and Shinya said at the same moment.

They can see the JP was shivering in terror.

"HE'S IN THE HOUSE!" Koichi shouted. After making sure that JP believes the horror movie again.

JP jumped up and screamed like hell.

Everybody roared into laughter. Koji and Shinya rolling over and over on the floor with laughter. Takuya sounded like a choking bear. Zoe forcing not to laugh. Koichi almost crying.

"You should've seen your face!" Takuya smirked.

"Oh, just shut up!" JP threw the pillow to Takuya and went to the kitchen.

The phone rang, distracting everyone. Everybody looked surprised; Takuya was already walking forward, reaching hopefully for the phone.

"Hello?" Takuya asked. "Yes, we're having fun here." Takuya held the phone. It's Mom, he mouthed.

"Koji and I are going to make breakfast," JP said.

"Zoe, Shinya and I will clean the house," Koichi said.

"Thanks, I'll catch up on you guys later," Takuya whispered to his friends.

"Hello?" Takuya checked.

"Takuya?" Takuya sighed. He'd been expecting this, though he'd tried to make his message as unalarming as possible without lessening the urgency of it.

"Calm down, Mom," he said in his most soothing voice, walking slowly away from the living room. He wasn't sure if he could lie as convincingly with their eyes on him. "Everything is fine, okay? My friends sleepover here last night, we'll clean up our mess, I promise."

Takuya paused, surprised she hadn't interrupted her.

"Mom?"

"I'll be there in one any half hour." The voice was very pleasant.

"Now, you have a lot of explaining to do Mom." Takuya paused for a minute while he listened to his Mom.

"Yes, eat your breakfast already." Her voice was less than a whisper.

"I can see this is going to be a long day." Takuya's voice was amused, light and friendly.

"I love you, Takuya, I'll see you soon," the voice was thick.

"Take care," Takuya replied. Then she hung up.

Takuya held the phone to his ear.

"Mom is coming home. But its okay," Takuya's voice was lifeless when he came into the living room.

"Is everything fine?" Zoe asked.

"I'm having a bad feeling about something," Takuya gulped.

"We'll make sure everything will be fine," Koji said while serving.

"Takuya, don't worry," Koichi pushed Takuya in the kitchen.

Takuya looked at Zoe.

"Guys," Takuya said slowly, without smiling, keeping his voice level. "Thank you so much."

There was a dead silence.

"You're hungry, aren't you?" Shinya broke the silence.

"Yeah, I guess I am," he quickly answered.

"Then let's get crazy in food!" JP announced.

When Takuya's Mom (let's call his Mom now, Claire) got home, she got to see Takuya's friends before they go home, it was pretty nice. Takuya introduced Zoe as his girlfriend.

The night was not as bad as Takuya thought, after he'd heard the perfect voice of Claire. The Kanbara family talked at the living room.

"Now. Explain," Takuya demanded.

Shinya looked at Claire and Takuya, confused and wary.

"Takuya, I found a job." Claire replied.

"So…?"

Takuya folded his arms across his chest.

"Mom!" Takuya snapped.

"I am working as a receptionist in Los Angeles," Claire murmured.

"Los Angeles?" Takuya yelled.

"Oh boy," Shinya mumbled to himself.

"Hey, don't use that tone to me," Claire scolded.

"For how long will you be in Los Angeles," he demanded in a growl.

"We have the right to know," Takuya muttered, still glaring at Claire.

"Hey, hey," Shinya said, adding slightly hysterical chuckle. "No fighting, remember?"

Nobody paid any attention to Shinya. Takuya and Claire glared and glowered at each other. Claire's face was suddenly thoughtful.

"Its okay, Takuya. You actually have a point," Claire finally said.

Takuya did not relax his position.

Shinya was sure the suspense was going to make his head explode in about one second. "Will you please relax big brother?"

Takuya stared at Shinya, and then turned to Claire, evidently having chosen to let Takuya hear.

"This is for your own good."

"You're leaving us?"

"No."

Takuya and Shinya felt the color drain of their faces. Their stomach lurched. "I'm working far away from you to earn money for your future," Claire chocked out.

The Kanbara brothers watched silently, reading unconscious play of emotion on Claire's face. They were rooted in place, and yet not completely still. All were trembling.

"But—"

"Your future," Claire interrupted Shinya in a whisper.

"Will you come back?" Shinya asked.

"Of course, yes."

"For?" Takuya questioned.

Claire nodded, understanding his question. "Every time I have time."

Takuya tried to swallow.

Takuya's expression was disapproving. Shinya could tell Takuya didn't like discussing this in front of his mother, but he had something he needed to say. "We can't let you come that far. I can't protect Shinya enough."

"You've proved that already. By the time Shinya was born," Claire said her face suddenly desolate. "But it doesn't matter, where ever I go, I'll always be at your side. There still hope, and someday the two of you will know why I'm doing this."

"No!" Takuya and Shiny whispered.

"Mom," Shinya mouthed her name. "Please, don't go."

"That won't help. It's not like we're dealing with a bad premonition. I'll come back. I always come back."

"When Dad didn't come back—what if you won't come back like Dad?" If Shinya's voice hadn't been so hoarse and strained, it might have been shriek. "What if you do that to us?"

"I'll come back. I always come back, remember?"

"We understand," Takuya realized he has to be brave. "Right, Shinya?"

Shinya curls up under Claire's arm—he doesn't fit the way he used to. He has to fold in on himself, his long, gangly limbs poking out in sharp angles. His arms are starting to turn hard and sinewy, but in this moment he's a teenager, shaking, cowering for a long time. Shinya wants to be brave, to be like Takuya.

"I'm not scared anymore," he whispers.

Claire kissed his chocolate-brown hard. Even here among the sharp resinous trees, it smells like dust and sun. It feels like he is part of her, that to separate them will tear the skin where they were joined.

"You'll be fine with Takuya."

"I know that."

"I promise everything will be fine. I'm coming back. Promise. You know I won't break a promise, Takuya, Shinya. Not to you two."

The conversation slows. They believed her. They trusted her.

"Oh please, Shinya's likes thirteen years old already. He can take care of himself," Takuya joked.

"That's right; I'm not a kid anymore!" Shinya jumped up.

"Still acting like a baby," Takuya corrected.

"Will you stop calling me 'baby'?"

"Oh I'm sorry, BIG BABY?" Takuya teased.

"Give me now and one big happy hug, boys!" Claire pulled his sons into a group hug.

"I love my family," Shinya sighed.

"Not as much as I love Zoe," Takuya smiled and never knew what name he said. "I mean, Mom and Shinya!"

And they all laughed together.

On Monday, before Takuya could get home from school, Shinya was cooking. Takuya's eyes narrowed suspiciously at seeing his little brother cooking for the first time.

"Where did you learn how to cook?" he asked during dinner.

Shinya chuckled. "I already knew how to cook."

"Since when?"

"Four years ago," he answered quickly.

"Then why weren't you cooking since four years ago?"

"Mom was a house wife, remember. I can't cook because of her. She's blocking my way."

"You didn't answer my first question. Where did you learn how to cook?" Takuya asked skeptically.

"I watch people cook," Shinya pointed out.

Takuya glared at Shinya, unconvinced.

"A copy cat?" Takuya teased.

"Something liked that."

"Can you copy a boy jumping from a building?"

"Ha!" Shinya snorted. "Very funny."

"Well, be more careful if you don't want to set this house on fire," Takuya warned.

"I will," Shinya promised, surreptitiously crossing his fingers under the table.

"Honestly, Shinya's more mature and proper than Takuya," Koji teased Takuya when he told how good Shinya can cook. They walked at the park after school Friday.

"Maybe you should study how to cook." JP saw Takuya's objecting expression an added, "At least for a week or so. You could stay at the house for a week, right?"

"One more insult, I swear…you're dead," Takuya threatened.

"Relax, Takuya, it's Friday, which means everybody's on the good mood," Zoe cheered him up.

"What are we going to do today?" Koichi griped.

Takuya smiled cheerfully. "What ever you guys want."

Everybody thought about that for a minute—about what they wanted.

They hated the idea of losing even their brief seconds.

Zoe could think of one place where that might hold true. One place that would always belong to _her and Takuya _and no one else. A magic place, full of light. The beautiful meadow she'd seen only once in her life, lit by sunshine.

"What are you guys thinking about so hard?" Takuya asked.

"Well…," Koji began slowly. "We've got nothing…"

"Do you guys wanna hit the mall?" Zoe said with confident helpfulness.

"Cool." As always, the boys loved Zoe's fun, cool and great ideas.

"Okay!" Takuya stretched his hands.

So, everybody ran straight to Mall of Shibuya, they tied shoes' laces—checked if they've got a lot of money to hang out at the mall—grabbed each other, and went inside the Mall.


	13. Promises

They didn't get started immediately; first, Takuya pulled Zoe across the ground floor—taking a plush bear for Zoe—and, for a full twenty minutes, they were taking a snack across the Fast Food Restaurant. Takuya's friends thought of Takuya feeling fine already. Zoe was very excited what to do next. Zoe wanted to ask Takuya not to say anything about them, but she was afraid that making the request would cause the opposite result.

"Wanna go for a movie?" Takuya announced eyes on his girlfriend.

Zoe glanced at the boys.

Koji laughed. "Pay as you order!"

JP chuckled. "I'll get the popcorn!"

"One nacho coming right up," Koichi added.

"Koji and I will handle the drinks," Zoe followed. "Won't we, Koji?"

"Uh…yeah…sure…whatever!" Koji replied as an agreement.

"You've got to be kidding me," Takuya muttered. He sighed. "I'll treat you all a one nice movie."

Everybody cheered at Takuya's decision.

They watched a movie called, 'Here Comes the Bride', a comedy film, tells the story of five different people who get their souls switched in the middle of a wedding preparation on a solar eclipse. Stefanie's (the bride) soul gets into the body of the snobby Precy, whose soul gets into the nanny, Medelyn, whose soul switches with Bien, the grandfather, whose soul enters the gay beautician's body, Toffee, whose soul enters Stefanie's body.

When they came out of the theater doors, they were talking about the movie they just watched.

"Whoo! Isn't the movie awesome or what?" Koji exclaimed.

"I don't feel sleepy anymore!" Takuya stretched his arms.

"I got really hyper!" Zoe clapped her hands.

"I wonder if JP's soul gets into the body of the beautician and the gay beautician will enter JP's body," Koichi wondered innocently.

"But I'm not in a gay man's body," JP snapped.

"But that would be so cool!" Koji widened his eyes.

And so they went next at the Carnival. JP stopping in front of the High Striker.

"Stand back, guys," JP warned as he grabbed the hammer.

"Show-off," Takuya muttered.

"JP, stop pretending that you're strong," Koichi hissed behind his back.

"Oh, yeah!" JP said. "I'll show you that I'm stronger than you think!"

"Please tell me you brought your camera," Koji whispered.

"Why?" Zoe asked.

"Will you _please_ take a picture of JP?" Koji asked politely.

"Well, if you asked in a nice way…why not?" Zoe pulled out her digital camera.

JP raised the hammer as high as he can with all his might but before he hit it, he lost his balance and fell on top of Koichi. Zoe tried all of her best to snap a picture of JP screwing up and then the camera flashed.

Takuya, Koji and Zoe looked at JP and Koichi then burst into a roar of laughter.

"Get off of me!" Koichi yelled.

"Sorry," JP murmured.

"You should've seen your face!" Takuya pointing at JP and Koichi.

"Grrr…" Koichi growled. "Shut up!"

"What?" Koji was still laughing like a mule.

Koji looked at JP grabbing the hammer again.

"What are you gonna do?" Koji clearly asked. "Try again until you fall again?"

"Nope…but this is," JP carried the hammer and tried to smashed it to Koji but Koji dodged it easily.

"That's it, JP! Hit him with your best shot!" Koichi cheered.

Takuya smacked Koji and JP's head to snap then to reality because they were watching by innocent citizen at the mall thinking they were crazy.

"Who's up for a bet?" Takuya announced.

Takuya looked at Zoe. He pursed his lips and shrugged. "I vote for Koji!"

"Oooh…Dart Game, eh?" Koji looked at the Balloon

Zoe smiled bleakly as she saw a Dart Game.

Zoe picked up the dart at the vending kiosk of the Dart Game. She touched at the sharp edge of the Dart.

"Losers get to treat the winners a Zagu," Zoe laughed, and then Koichi was the only tagged on her. "I can't believe you're on that _freak face's _side." Zoe told Takuya.

"Hey!" Koji protested.

"No offense, but you still rock my world," Takuya kissed Zoe's forehead and went to Koji's side.

"You can't beat me. I'm a pro-Dart Game," Koji snapped.

"Show her what you're made of," JP cheered.

"Kick my brother's butt!" Koichi rubbed Zoe's back.

"Okay—let's do this!"

Koji and Zoe held the dart in a skilled way. The two got seven tries to strike. Before Koji threw the missile; he threw last words on Zoe.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Koji insulted more than teased.

"No…let's!" Zoe's had her first shot, and scoring.

Koji rushed to strike, and he scored as well.

"I'm gonna win," Zoe grumbled.

"No you're not!" Koji said, he threw again and Zoe followed, both of them scored again.

"Come on, Koji. Play!" JP cheered.

"I am." Koji replied.

"Playing like a girl."

Koji laughed, and Zoe slipped another dart and pop goes the balloon again.

"I think they're going for a draw," Koichi told Takuya.

"I'll bet a perfect score, though," Takuya respond.

A few seconds later, Koji and Zoe had the same score, six out of seven.

"Finish her off, Koji! I'm thirsty!" JP shouted while Koji's taking his hopeful shot, of which he was distracted.

"Don't you ever shut up?" Koji almost shouted.

Koji missed the balloon.

"Well, well, well…prepare to lose," Zoe squeezed a one more shot, of which she was proud.

She wasn't winded. "Seven-seven, I win."

"Hey, that's not fair; I was distracted by a pig!" Koji huffed.

"Jerk," JP whispered under his breath.

"I didn't even break a sweat!" The innocence in her tone a bit overdone. Being funny. He stretched. "Aw, don't be a sore loser, Koji; you know you can share the extra large bear with your twin brother. Be nice." She leered in a melodramatic way.

Koji eyes her, mystified.

Koichi grabbed the humongous plush bear. "I'm not a big baby like my twin," Koji told Zoe.

Koichi winked at Zoe.

Zoe's eyebrows rose. "Now…where's our Zagu?"

"Don't worry guys, it's only two Zagu's," Takuya muttered, not taking much notice of Koji's reaction. "Then after Zagu, time for some rides."

Takuya threw one arm lightly around Zoe's waist while they buy Koichi and Zoe's Zagu.

Everybody paid as they ordered a Zagu except for Koichi and Zoe. After they finished they're Zagu. They went a ride for a roller coaster.

JP went at the trash can as soon as possible when he ran exit of the Roller Coaster to throw up.

"Whoo! Nasty!" Takuya whistled.

"D-I-S gusting!" Koji commented on JP puking.

"That's what he gets for drinking my Zagu!" Koichi mumbled.

"Hey, JP!" Zoe yelled, patting JP's back. "Do you wanna go for another roller coaster ride?"

"Hell, no!" JP grabbed Zoe's shoulders while he puke.

"Yuck," Koji mumbled.

Before Zoe went home, she stayed at Takuya's house for a while.

"Shinya?" Takuya called over but no reply.

"Hmm…nobody's home, I see," Zoe sat at the sofa.

Takuya joined her with a sigh. He looked like he was thinking about blurring more lines. Sure enough, as soon as she sat down, he shifted over to put his arm around her shoulders.

"Takuya," she lied on Takuya's shoulders. He reached out and took her hand firmly, wrapping his other hand around her wrist.

"Tell me something," he said in a calm voice.

Zoe grimaced. "What?" she muttered sourly.

"You love me, right?"

"You know I do."

"Better than any of the other guys you know?" He was calm, serene—as if her answer won't matter, or he already knew what it was.

"Yes," she sighed. "Better than the girls, too," she pointed out.

"But that's all," he said, and it wasn't a question.

It was hard to answer, to say the word.

"Yes," she whispered.

He grinned down at her. "That's okay, you know. As long as you love me the best. _And _you think I'm good looking—sort of. I'm prepared to love you at my best."

"I'm not going to change," she said, and though she tried to keep my voice normal, she could hear the sadness in it.

His face was thoughtful, no longer teasing. "Can I make a promise?"

She cringed. He picked up on so much about her that she never said.

"Never mind," he told her.

She nodded grateful.

"But don't get mad at me when I'm sometimes overprotective on you, okay?" Takuya patted the back of her hand. "Because I'm not giving up. I've got loads of time."

She sighed. "You shouldn't waste it on me," she said, though she wanted him to. Especially if he was willing to accept her the way she was—damaged goods, as is.

"It's what I want to do, as long as you still love to be with me."

"I can't imagine how I could _not _love being with you," she told him honestly.

Takuya beamed. "I can live with that."

"Just don't expect more," she warned him. He held onto it obstinately.

"This doesn't really bother you, does it?" he demanded, squeezing her fingers.

"No," she sighed. Truthfully, it felt nice. His hand was so much warmer than mine; she always felt too cold these days.

"And you don't care what _everybody _thinks."

"I guess not."

"There's something I want to tell you, Zoe…"

She sighed. This would be more of the same from the theater. "Go ahead."

"I wanted you to know that I'm always here. I won't ever let you down—I promise that you can always count on me. But you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you?"

"Yeah, Takuya. I know that. And I already do count on you, probably more than you know."

The smile broke across his face the way the sunrise set the clouds on fire.

A strange look crossed his face. "I really think I'd better go home now," she said.

She got up quickly and went to the front door.

"Can I have a goodbye kiss?"

Zoe watched his pouted, and he seemed to be joking more than being serious.

"Okay, but one second," she replied.

"Nine."

"Two."

"Eight."

"Three."

"Seven."

"Four."

"Six."

"Five and that's final."

Zoe didn't realized what he was going to do, just a second before his lips touched hers.

His lips were soft and arm. He pressed them only lightly to hers, and then brushed them back and forth across her mouth.

"I'll see ya when I see ya," he whispered against her lips.

"Sure, sure," she muttered happily.

Takuya watched her go, and he stared at the empty street when she was gone, feeling butterflies on his stomach.

He went to his room and saw Shinya holding their video camera.

"How long have you been here?" Takuya asked in surprised when Takuya came in. Shinya was on the floor. Must be an exciting video from the camera.

"A few hours ago," Shinya explained.

"Why didn't you mind answering when I was calling?"

Shinya didn't reply, too busy to watch at the camera.

"What are you watching?"

"Aw, you and Zoe look so cute together," Shinya said doubtfully. Clearly, Takuya had realized what he was watching.

"Give me that video camera," Takuya said.

Shinya laughed at his big brother. "No."

Takuya tried to ran after Shinya but his brother was like a cheetah. Shinya ran quickly downstairs and locked his room.

"Stay away from me for one hour!" Takuya yelled in his room.

Shinya went back upstairs.

"Okay, then I'll guess I'll got to Koji's house and show him this video," Shinya yelled back at his brother.

Takuya snapped his head up and unlocked the door.

"You can have the stupid camera just please don't do anything stupid about it," Takuya begged.

"If you say so," Shinya agreed.


	14. Buried

**enjoy my same boring chapter...if you don't like it, i'll just have to ignore the bad comments!**

Takuya realized it was four thirty. Takuya fell asleep but when he woke up, there was a glass of water on his bedside table. He felt parched. He chugged it down, though it tasted funny from sitting stagnant all night.

He got up slowly, he was weak, and his mouth tasted horrible. He looked at his cock.

His twenty-four hours were up.

He didn't push it, eating nothing but saltine crackers for breakfast. Shinya looked relieved to see Takuya awake.

"Tired?" Shinya asked.

"Nope…not anymore," he stretched his arms.

As soon as he finished his breakfast, Shinya went at the living room to play video games. The phone was ringing, Shinya asked Takuya if he could answer the phone, but when he heard the greeting Takuya and Shinya knew it was a voicemail.

"Hello, boys," Claire's voice was broken, crackling.

"Oh, it's Mom," Takuya groaned sympathetically. "She sounds horrible." Takuya announced. He decided not to pick up the phone.

"I'm so sorry I left you. This sucks. Anyways, I called just to check if you boys are okay. Take good care of yourselves. I'll call you when I have time. I love you." and then hung up the phone.

"Okay, that was awkward," Takuya told Shinya.

"What's awkward?" Shinya kept his eyes on the game.

"Mom."

"She'll be back, won't she?"

"Of course, she promised."

Five days have passed and Claire didn't call.

The first time Takuya called, nobody's answered. Takuya got nosy.

Saturday, he decided to sit back and relax at home. Afternoon was _long. _By Night, he was sure something isn't right.

The doorbell rings and Takuya opens the door to a man in a police uniform. It was Nathan.

"Good evening, Takuya," Nathan greeted.

"Yes?" Takuya raised his eyebrows.

"Please, stay calm as possible," Nathan told him.

Takuya nodded.

"Your mother died on the car accident."

Takuya's in shock. "But…the…she…I…impossible!" Takuya spluttered.

"The Taxi's break she was riding to her work wasn't actually working. The truck accidently hit the Taxi causing it to explode," the officer explained. "I am sorry for your loss."

"Well…do you have any proof that it is my mother in that accident?" Takuya wondered. "She's not dead!"

"Please, son, calm down," Nathan politely replied. "I am quite positive that it is Claire Kanbara that was on the accident. Here's your mother's DNA Test," Nathan handed Takuya the result of Claire's DNA Test. Takuya took it rudely.

The DNA Test was affirmative. Takuya tear the piece of paper into pieces aggressively.

"I'm sorry, Takuya," Nathan apologized, and Takuya wondered if Shinya were listening; Nathan sounded sad. "There's nothing we can do. You're mother is gone."

Takuya took him a second to reply. "This cannot be happening."

"Things happen for a reason, kid," Nathan hesitated for an instant too long. "Don't let it affect your life."

"So…where is she?"

"She's at the Hospital—you can visit her starting tomorrow."

"Things just don't happen like this." His voice sounded horribly phony as he babbled on.

Takuya felt worse, but not worse enough to cry. Takuya shut the door close without saying a goodbye to Nathan. He sat on the couch, missing Claire more every hour. He was lonely, worried, confused…perforated—and now also desolate as he realized that Shinya's gonna figured out quickly.

"Is there something wrong?" Shinya asked politely when he came downstairs.

Takuya didn't reply. So affected on Claire's death. First his beloved Father now his Mother.

"Well, you gotta tell me," Shinya sat beside Takuya.

"Mom's gone," Takuya replied, but Shinya already knew what it is.

"No…that's not true," Shinya stood for a moment. "She promised she'd some back." Shinya was already crying.

Just like Takuya feared. Claire won't come back just like their father did. Takuya felt the blood run out of his face.

"She's gone, Shinya," Takuya repeated.

"NO! YOU DON'T SAY THAT!" Shinya yelled and hit Takuya on his shoulder but Takuya was too numb to feel Shinya's punch.

"She's gone," Takuya snorted.

Shinya stopped punching Takuya and squeezed Takuya. Takuya hugged back.

During lunch at Shibuya National High School, Takuya was obviously absent.

"I feel so sorry for Takuya and Shinya," Zoe grunted. "I wish there's something I can do."

Her eyes slowly focused on Koji's face, and then, as she could read his expression, they filled with sadness.

"We all feel sorry for Takuya and Shinya," Koji moaned.

Everybody nodded slowly, their expression hard with grief. Zoe remembered when she went to Takuya's before she went straight to school. The pain made Takuya's face suddenly childlike—it looked odd.

Koichi was right beside JP. Takuya's friends' normal composure was absent from their agonized faces.

"Mrs. Kanbara was like a mother to us," Koichi whispered.

JP nodded. "It's gonna be hard all around."

"I wonder where Takuya and Shinya would be," Zoe wondered.

"Didn't Takuya tell you?" Koji asked.

"Nope…he was too depressed to talk much," Zoe replied.

"Probably Takuya's at the hospital with Shinya," JP answered Zoe's question.

"There are a lot of…arrangements to be made."

Zoe swallowed hard.

"We'd better visit Takuya and Shinya," Koji mumbled, and he finished his soda.

Takuya's friends visited him after school. Shinya was the one who answered the door.

"Where's Takuya?" Koji asked.

"He's at the Living Room, mocking all day," Shinya pointed out.

The boys came in and went to the living room while Zoe hugged Shinya.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Shinya rubbed of the tears in his face.

"It's going to be okay, don't worry," Zoe comforted him.

"I don't know if Takuya's going to let go easily," Shinya half smiled.

"I wish I could think of anything to say to your brother," Zoe said.

Zoe followed the boys. Takuya's face was in his hands while his on the floor instead of the couch. Zoe rubbed his shoulder.

After a long moment, Takuya caught her hand and held it to his face.

"How are you feeling?" Zoe sighed.

"Don't worry about me," Takuya croaked.

He twisted his head to look at Zoe. His eyes were rimmed in red. "You don't look so good." Koji commented.

"I don't feel so good, either, I guess." Takuya responded. "Go home—you probably ought to be there."

"What about you?" JP asked.

"We're not going to live you and Shinya here lonely," Koichi said.

"We'll be fine."

Zoe lay listlessly on the sofa. Takuya was silent. Takuya felt like peeping tom, peering through the cracks at a private sorrow.

It didn't take long. Koji, JP and Koichi decided to go home and left Zoe with Takuya. Shinya stayed in his room while Zoe was comforting Takuya.

"Zoe put her arms around Takuya's shoulder.

"Things happen for a reason Takuya," Zoe sighed.

"That's the same thing your father told me," Takuya sniffed. "Like father like daughter, huh?"

Zoe let Takuya talk.

"You know, the last time she called to us. I didn't pick up the phone. How stupid of am I!" he scolded himself. "Ever since Dad died, I never say I love you to Mom, anymore. Except before she goes to Los Angeles."

"Don't blame yourself," Zoe said.

"First, Dad and now Mom, who's next? Shinya?" Takuya continued.

"If you don't snap out of it, nothing will happen. You will be completely lost again," Zoe explained. "It's time for you to move on."

It was quiet after that. Zoe's mind was alert, and it was working very hard and very fast.

Takuya couldn't imagine his life without Zoe now—somehow, she'd become essential to his survival. But to leave things the way they were…was that cruel?

Zoe remembered wishing that there's something she could do or saying something to Takuya. She realized now that all she really wanted was Takuya. Takuya hugged her so tight. It just felt nice—warm and comforting and familiar.

Zoe threw her other arm around Takuya, crying as well. Again, she felt nice.

Zoe then realized that Takuya was slowly beginning to cry.

Takuya stopped crying after fifteen minutes.

"Sorry. I know you're thinking that I could be melodramatic, Zoe," Takuya rubbed the tears off of his face.

"I swear I don't mind. I'm just so glad you're okay." Takuya laughed his throaty laugh in her ear.

Zoe kicked her smile out, happy to see Takuya smile again.

Takuya pressed his warm cheek against the top of her hair.

Zoe turned her face to side—she pressed her lips against his bare shoulder…she knew without any doubt exactly what would follow. It was very easy.

Butterflies assaulted her stomach.

And then, Takuya's velvet voice whispered in her ear.

"Thank you," he told her.

Zoe froze.

"For what?" She said. "I didn't do much of a thing." Zoe was locked in Takuya's embrace, listening to the beat of Takuya's heart

"You didn't give up on me," the breath whooshed out of Takuya. "Even though it's getting dark."

Zoe snapped her eyes on her watch. It was already six-thirty.

"I hope dad's in a good mood," Zoe hoped.

"I'm sorry for keeping you this late," Takuya apologized.

"I gotta go." Zoe kissed him on the cheek.

Zoe slid across the front door.

"Bye, Zoe," Takuya called back over her shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She sprinted into the darkness. Zoe disappeared before Takuya could open his mouth to call her back.

"Big Brother, oh, big brother!" Shinya cried, as he slammed into Takuya.

"Shinya?" There was a strange mingling of relief and confusion in his voice.

Shinya locked his arms around him, gasping to inhale.

He rubbed Shinya's back in a gentle rhythm, waiting for him to control himself.

"I'm…sorry," Shinya blubbered. "I'm just…so happy…to see my big brother back to normal again!"

"It's okay, Shinya. Everything's okay."

"Yes," Shinya bawled. "And it's all thanks to Zoe."

Takuya sighed. "Yeah—hey! What do you mean back to normal?" he asked, and his tone was disapproving.

Shinya looked up at him through his streaming eyes. Takuya's neck was tight; straining away from her, his lips was pressed together firmly. His eyes were brown as chocolate.

"Oh," Shinya puffed. "You were like a zombie you know? You suck being empty! I hate it when you are mocking!"

"It's my own fault—hey! As if that you weren't mocking also!"

Shinya swallowed loudly. "At least I'm doing something unlike you."

"You got a point," he agreed, his eyes narrowing. "I was _dead._"

**After two days**

At Claire's funeral, everyone was there –everyone: Takuya's aunts and uncles, cousins, Claire's friends. Takuya stepped forward.

"Mom, always saw the bright side of things. She could see the bright side of a black hole. I'll miss that. She'll find Dad, now. She's happier where she is. Mom died human," Takuya said. "None of us can ask for more than that.

"Mom was good through and through. Mot one of us is equal. She was brave," Takuya continued. "She wasn't afraid to die, she wasn't afraid to live, and…she wasn't afraid to _believe_. She made her own decisions, and she made good ones." Takuya threw a red rose into the darkness.

Shinya began speaking. "Mom was the best and the brightest Mother I've ever had," Shinya said. "There was no hatred in his heart. She will never be replaced. Nobody's taking her place. I hope her fairytales came true. I hope you find Dad."

Shinya let the red rose trickle through her fingers and waited until he heard them fall with a soft patted onto Claire, obscured in the deep, dark grave. Then slowly everyone dropped their roses onto Claire's grave.

Takuya started to work as soon as Shinya took the first step back, shoveling from a mound of pale, dusty earth that was piled a few feet farther into the grotto. The shovel load hit with a thump rather than a whisper. The sound made the others cringed.

Koji stepped past Zoe with another shovel. Zoe turned slowly. The heavy thuds of falling dirt echoed behind her. Low voices began to murmur. She heard footsteps as people milled and huddle to discuss the funeral.

Zoe really looked at Takuya as he walked back to her—Takuya's face was streaked with pale dust, his expression weary. She'd seen his face like that before. She couldn't pinpoint the memory, she was distracted. What was she supposed to do? Nothing? Shinya and the rest were right behind them.

"How are you feeling?" Zoe asked, already prodding at Takuya's side.

"Shinya and I will be fine…" Takuya looked at the sun setting down.

"No need to push it. Let's give you a rest and piece for a few days, okay?" Koji punched Takuya's shoulder playfully, Takuya was absentminded. Zoe's hand on Takuya's shoulder didn't flinch. That surprised him.

"Hmm. That won't help, will it?" JP asked.

"Give me a week," Takuya decided, before he got pushy.

"A week would be generous," Koji commented.

"How does your head feel?" JP asked.

"A little dizzy. I think for staying late these past few days. I don't like it—I'd rather feel the pain, I think."

Zoe grimaced. So did Shinya.

"What?" Takuya demanded.

An icy air blow through them. Zoe curled her arms around her to keep warm.

"Cold?" Takuya asked, putting his arm around her before she could answer.

"You're not?"

He shook his head.

"We gotta get home now, Shinya," Takuya snapped.

"Call me!" Zoe yelled when Takuya and Shinya were walking away from them.

"At least, Takuya and Shinya got a place to live. One house and lot and a one hundred thousand dollars," Koji announced.

"Whoa, that's big!" JP said.

"They'll be fine." Koichi shrugged. "Fit as a fiddle."

Zoe frowned.

"You better get home as well Zoe," Koji snapped. "Your hands are like ice," Koji complained as he rubbed Zoe's palm.

"But I think you might be right. I'm starting to feel a little…cold."

**and then again, don't forget to read/review!**


	15. Cheater

**is this the way it ends? or is this the way how to begin the story? hope ya'll enjoy!**

Zoe called, Shinya answered and told Zoe her that Takuya was still in bed. Zoe got curious, checking to make sure that Shinya had taken him to a doctor. Shinya said Takuya's not feeling well, but, for some reason she could' nail down, Zoe believed him. Zoe called again, several times a day, for the next two days, but no one was ever there.

Saturday, Zoe decided to go see him, invitation is damned. But the Takuya wasn't home. This frightened her—was Takuya so depressed that he'd needed to go out? She stopped by at Koji and Koichi's house on the way back hoe, but Koji told her that he'll be fine.

Zoe made Koji and Koichi treat her pizza. Zoe ate, hungry, while she chatted with the twins; the conversation seemed to go on forever without Takuya even mentioned. It seemed that _Zoe _had nearly forgotten Takuya…Zoe's forehead got all pinched together, but Koji joked with her, blowing it off, until Zoe was laughing again. Only then did Koji asked about Zoe, and now his side of the conversation didn't give Zoe much to work to work with, just a lot of _hmms _and _yeahs. _Zoe drummed her fingers against the e counter beside him until he put a hand over hers to stop her.

Finally, Zoe decided to go home.

Koji called Shinya while Zoe's getting ready for home.

"Shinya says there's been troubling Takuya, and that's why he'd been feeling glum. Shinya's cheering Takuya up, and it looks like he's going to be sick. Takuya's real tired, and he told Shinya no visitors," Koji reported.

"No visitors?" Koichi and Zoe demanded in disbelief.

Koji raised an eyebrow. "Now don't you go making a pest of yourself, Zoe. Takuya knows what's best for him. He'll be up and around soon enough. Be patient."

Zoe didn't push it. Zoe was too worried about Takuya. That was clearly the more important issue—it wouldn't be right to bug him with her lesser concerns. Instead, she went straight upstairs when she got home and turned on her computer. She checked her emails but it was empty.

She glared at the computer screen and wondered why, exactly, she was going. Why did she feel so…so _suspicious, _like she didn't believe Shinya and Koji's story? Why would Koji and Shinya lie to her?

Zoe was being silly, probably. She was just worried, and, to be honest, she was afraid of not being allowed to see Takuya—that made her nervous.

But Takuya couldn't enforce the no-visitors thing for long. Of course, not. Takuya would go crazy stuck in bed that long without anyone to talk to but Shinya.

What was Takuya doing, anyway?

Zoe had give Takuya some time.

When Zoe had decided to leave Takuya and Shinya alone for a week. Every day when Zoe got home from school, she ran to the phone to check for messages. There never were any.

Zoe cheated three times by trying to call him, but Shinya was the one still answering.

Zoe was in the house much too much, and much too alone. Without Takuya, everything she'd been repressing started creeping up on her. The dreams got hard again. She could no longer see the end coming. Just the horrible nothingness—half the time in the forest, half the time in the empty fern sea where Takuya's house no longer existed. Sometimes Koji Minamoto was there in the forest, watching her again. She paid him no attention—there was no comfort in his presence; it made her feel no less alone. It didn't stop her from screaming herself awake, night after night.

The hole in her chest grew and it was worse than ever. She'd thought that she'd been getting under control, but she found herself hunched over, day after day, clutching her sides together and gasping for air.

She wasn't handling alone well.

She was relieved beyond measure the morning she woke up—screaming, of course—and remembered that it was Saturday. Today she could call Takuya. And if Takuya's out again, then she was going to Takuya's place. One way or another, today would be better than the last lonely week.

She dialed, and then waited without high expectations. It caught her off guard when Shinya answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Oh, hi, Shinya! It's Zoe. I was just calling to see how Takuya is doing. Is he up for visitors yet? I was thinking dropping by—"

"I'm sorry, Zoe," Shinya interrupted, and she wondered if he were watching TV; he sounded distracted. "He's not in."

"Oh." It took her a second. "So he's feeling better then?"

"Yeah," Shinya hesitated for an instant too long. "Turn out he's becoming pretty like awkward. When he wakes up, he goes out. I don't know where or what he's doing outside."

"Oh. So…where do you think he is?"

"I guess he's giving himself a ride alone—I think he's going to catch a double feature or something. All I'm sure is that he's gone for the whole day."

"Well, that's a relief. I've been so worried. I'm glad he felt good enough o get out." Her voice sounded horribly phony as she babbled on.

Takuya was better, but not well enough to call Zoe. He was out. Zoe was sitting home, missing Takuya more every hour. Zoe was lonely, worried, bored…perforated—and now also desolate as she realized that the week apart had not had the same effect on Takuya.

"Is there anything in particular you wanted?" Shinya asked politely.

"No, not really."

"Well, I'll tell him that you called," Shinya promised. "Bye, Zoe."

"Bye," She replied, but he'd already hung up.

Zoe stood for a moment with the phone still in her hand.

Takuya must've changed his mind, just like she'd feared. He was going to take Zoe's advice and not waste any more time on her. She felt the blood run out of her face.

"Something wrong?" Nathan asked as he came down the stairs.

"No," She lied, hanging up the phone. "Shinya says Takuya is feeling better. So that's good."

"Is he coming here, or are you going there?" Nathan asked absentmindedly as he started poking through the fridge.

"Neither," Zoe admitted. "He's out."

The tone of her voice finally caught Nathan's attention. He looked up at her with sudden alarm, his hands frozen around a package of cheese slices.

"Isn't it a little early for lunch?" Zoe asked as lightly as she could manage, trying to distract him.

"No, I'm just packing something to take out with my workers…"

"Oh, what's the occasion today?"

"Well, my partner called…and we're just celebrating." He was creating a stack of food on the counter as he spoke. Suddenly he looked up again as if he'd just realized something. "Say, did you want me to stay with you, since Takuya's out?"

"That's okay, Dad," she said, working to sound indifferent. "I'll be fine."

He stared at her, indecision clear on his face. She knew that he was worrying, afraid to leave her alone, in case she got 'mopey' again.

"Seriously, Dad. I think I'll call the twins," She fibbed quickly. She'd rather be alone than have him watching her all day. "We have a Calculus test to study for. I could use their help." That part wasn't true. But she'd have to make do without it.

"But you're good at Calculus."

"Exactly!"

"Well, you've got a point. You've been spending so much time with Takuya, your other friends are going to think you've forgotten them."

Zoe smiled and nodded as if she cared what her other friends thought. And she was spending more time with Koji than Takuya ever since.

Nathan started to turn, but then spun back with a worried expression. "Hey, you'll study here with the twins, right?"

"Sure, where else?"

"Well, it's just that I want you to be careful, like I told you before.'

It took her a minute to understand, distracted as she was. "Like I've been in trouble?"

Nathan nodded, frowning.

Zoe wasn't listening to his warnings; she was much more upset by the situation with Takuya than by the possibility of getting into trouble.

She was glad that Nathan was in a hurry. He didn't wait for her to call Koji, so she didn't have to put on that charade. She went through the motions of gathering school books on the kitchen table to pack them in my bag; that was probably too much, and if he hadn't been eager to hit the holes, it might have made him suspicious.

She was so busy looking busy that the ferociously empty say ahead didn't really crash down on her until after she'd watch him drive away. It only took about two minutes of staring at the silent kitchen phone to decide that she wasn't staying home today. She considered her options.

She wasn't going to call Koji. As far as she could tell, Koji had done enough.

She could walk to Takuya's and hang out with Shinya—an appealing thought. But she changed her mind.

She felt a brief twinge of guilt as she realized how Nathan would feel about this, but she ignored it. She just couldn't stay in the house again today.

A few minutes later, she was at the forest. The forest was full of life today, all the little creatures enjoying the momentary dryness. Somehow, though, even with the birds chirping and cawing, the insects buzzing noisily around her heard, and the occasional scurry of the field mice through the shrubs, the forest seems creepier today; it reminded her of her most recent nightmare. She knew it was just because she was alone, missing Takuya's carefree whistle and the sound of another pair of feet squishing across the damp ground.

The sense of unease grew stronger the deeper she got into the trees. Breathing started to get more difficult—not because of exertion, but because she was having trouble with the stupid hole in her chest again. She kept her arms tight around her torso and tried to banish the ache from her thoughts. She almost turned around, but she hated to waste the effort she'd already expended.

The rhythm of her footsteps started to numb her mind and her pain as she trudged on. Her breathing evened out eventually, and she was glad she hadn't quit. She was getting better at thing bushwhacking thing; she could tell she was faster.

She didn't realize quite how much more efficiently she was moving. She thought she'd covered maybe four miles, and she wasn't even starting to look around it yet. And then, with an abruptness that disoriented her, she stayed in the darkness—before the meadow.

It was the same place, of that she was instantly sure/. She'd never seen another clearing so symmetrical. It was as perfectly round as if someone had intentionally created the flawless circle, tearing out the trees but leaving no evidence of that violence in the waving grass. To the east, she could hear the stream bubbling quietly.

The place wasn't nearly stunning without the sunlight, but it was still very beautiful and serene. It was the wrong season for wildflowers; the ground was thick with tall grass that swayed in the light breeze like ripples across a lake.

It was the same place…but it didn't hold what she had been searching for.

The disappointment was nearly as instantaneous as the recognition. She sank down right where she was kneeling at the edge of the clearing, beginning to gasp.

What was the point of going any farther? Nothing lingered here. Nothing more than memories that she could have called back whenever she wanted to, if she was ever willing to endure the corresponding pain—the pain that had her now, had her cold. There was nothing special about this place without _him. _She wasn't exactly sure what she'd hoped to feel here, but the meadow was empty of atmosphere, empty of everything, just like everywhere else. Just like her nightmares. Her head swirled dizzy.

At least she'd come alone. She felt a rush of thankfulness as she realized that. Takuya introduced her the meadow…How could she have explained the way she was fracturing into pieces, the way she had to curl into a ball to keep the empty hole from tearing her apart? It was so much better that she didn't have an audience.

And she wouldn't have to explain to anyone why she was in such a hurry to leave, either. Zoe would want to spend more than a few seconds here. But she was already trying to find strength to get to her feet again, forcing herself out of the ball so that she could escape. There was too much pain in this empty place to bear—she would crawl away if she had to.

How lucky she was alone!

_Alone. _Zoe told herself with grim satisfaction as she wrenched herself to her feet despite the pain. At precisely that moment, two figures stepped out from the trees to the north, some thirty pace away.

Zoe snapped out of it and hid behind the trees.

A dizzying array of emotions shot through her in a second. The first was surprise; she was far from any trail here, and she didn't expect company. Then, as her eyes focused on the girl figure, seeing the utter stillness, the pallid, a rush of piercing curiosity rocked through her. She suppressed it viciously, fighting against the equally sharp lash of agony as her eyes continued to the face of the boy's chocolate-brown hair, the face was the one she wanted to see. Next was fear; the girl was not the face she grieved for, but it was close enough for her to know that the man and the woman facing each other not noticing Zoe was more than friends.

And finally, in the end, recognition.

"Takuya! The girl cried in surprise pleasure.

It was an irrational response. Zoe probably should've runaway at fear.

Zoe watched as Takuya spin the woman around. Takuya kissed the girl's forehead.

Yes, fear would have made more sense, but all Zoe felt was the pain. The meadow wasn't a magic place for Zoe anymore. A darker magic than she'd expected, to be sure, but magic all the same. The proof, however remote, that—Takuya loves the girl in his arms than Zoe—_cheater. _

"Lilith?" Takuya asked, looking more astonished than he felt. "DO you love it?"

Lilith smiled. It was ridiculous.

He grinned. "I didn't expect this." He picked up a flower on the ground and hand it to Lilith. His expression happy.

Lilith gave Takuya a quick but passionately kiss. And Takuya and Lilith walked away, out of the meadow.

Zoe scanned the meadow, if Takuya and Lilith were completely gone. Then she cried on her knees. A cold breeze whipped through the meadow, swaying the grass like something was moving through it.

Zoe scrambled to her feet, backing away even though the wind brushed harmlessly past her. Stumbling in pain, she turned and ran headlong into the trees.

The next few hours were agony. It took her three times as long to escape the trees as it had to get to the meadow. At first she paid no attention to where she was headed, focused only on what she was running from. By the time she collected herself to remember Takuya and Lilith, she was deep in the unfamiliar and menacing forest. Her hands were shaking so violently.

The call of a jaybird made her leap back and fall into a thick stand of young spruce, scraping up her arms and tangling her hair with sap. She screamed without her knowing, her scream echoed inside the forest.

At last there was a break in the trees ahead. She came out onto the empty road a mile or so south of where she came from. Exhausted as she was, she jogged up the lane until bumped into someone. She was sobbing again. She fiercely shoved the hands that were supposed to help her stand up. It helped her control the tears.

She was calmer, but still a mess when she looked up meeting Koji's eyes. She hadn't realized it was him. The sky was already dusky.

"Zoe?" Koji asked when Zoe accepted Koji's help now.

"Yeah, it's me." Her voice was unsteady.

"Are you crying?"

She hesitated.

"Nope…of course, not, why would I be crying?" Zoe lied.

Zoe can't help it. Her tears burst slowly. Zoe walked towards Koji to hug him.

"What happened?" Koji demanded.

"Nothing…I thought I got lost at the forest," still, lying. She tried to say it calmly, but her voice was high and shaky.

Koji's eyes grew round with curious. He grabbed the tops of her arms.

"Are you sure?"

Her head bobbed in a weak nod.

"I panicked which making me falling down a lot."

He let go of her shoulders and wrapped his arms around her. For a long moment, he didn't say anything.

"Do you want me to walk home with you?" Koji murmured.

"No problem."

Zoe was silent as the wind until she got home.

"Thank you so much," Zoe finally said.

"Anytime."

"Where have you been?" Nathan thundered, appearing through the kitchen doorway with an ominous expression.

Zoe sticks for not telling the truth.

"You're earlier than I thought," Zoe joked.

Nathan didn't buy it.

"I was hiking," Zoe hated lying to his Dad.

His eyes were tight. "What happened to going to Koji and Koichi's?"

"I didn't feel like Calculus today."

Nathan folded his arms across his chest.

"Don't worry, I'm fine."

Nathan seemed to really look at me for the first time. She remembered that she had spent some time on the forest floor today; she must be a mess.

"You're such a mess," Nathan commented.

Again, she decided to lie, or part of it anyway, was the best option. She was too shaken to pretend an uneventful day with the flora and fauna.

"I ran away in the forest and I fell down a lot."

"Clumsy," he murmured.

Nathan shook his head, frowning with anxiety. He finally spoke in a tone that allowed no argument. "No more hiking."

"No problem," she promised fervently.

She didn't want her dad to know how deep she'd gone into the forest against his wishes, and, more importantly, the thought of it made her feel sick.

"Are you hungry?" he asked her.

She shook her head, though she must have been starving. She hadn't eaten all day.

"Just tired," she told him. She turned for the stairs.

"Hey," Nathan said, his voice suddenly suspicious again. "Didn't you say Takuya was gone for the day?"

"That's what Shinya said," she told him, nervous by his question.

He studied her expression for a minute, and seemed satisfied with what he saw there.

"Huh."

"Why?" she demanded. It sounded like he was implying that she'd been lying to him this morning. About something besides studying with Koji.

"Well, it's just that when I went to work, I saw Takuya out in front of the store down there with some of his friends with one girl. It's not Koji, JP nor Koichi. I waved hi, but he was upset about something. And…different."

"Shinya said Takuya's out to see some movies. But he never mentioned that he was out with someone else. He was probably just waiting for someone to meet him."

"Oh." Nathan nodded and headed for the kitchen.

She stood in the hall, thinking about Takuya at the meadow. She wondered if she will have to explain what she saw to Takuya or keep it inside. Maybe that was the reason she'd ditched her today—to make out with Lilith, she wasn't glad what she saw.

She paused to check the locks again before she went to her room. It was silly thing to do.

She lay down on her bed, but she was shaking too hard to hope for sleep. She curled into a cramped ball under her quilt, and faced the horrifying facts.

There was nothing she could do. There were no precautions she could take. There was no place she could hide. There was no one who could help her.

She realized, with a roll of her stomach, that the situation was worse than ever that. Because all those facts applied to her. She was just hairsbreadth off the heart.

The tremors rocked her until her teeth chattered.

Zoe cried herself out.

Her good boyfriend, her Takuya, will he come back to her? How soothing it was to imagine that Takuya could also disappear.

She squeezed her eyes tight together and waited for unconsciousness—almost eager for her nightmare to start. Lilith was better; place, beautiful face that smiled at Takuya.

Lilith's kiss repeated in her head…

She pressed her fist against her mouth to keep from screaming.

**don't 4get to read/review...**


	16. The Hole

Each time that Zoe opened her eyes to the morning light and realized she'd lived through another night was a surprise to her. After the surprise wore off, her heart would start to race and her palms would sweat; she couldn't really breathe again until she'd gotten up and ascertained that she wouldn't survive.

She could tell Nathan was worried—watching her jump at any loud sound, or her face suddenly go white for no reason that he could see. From the questions he asked now and then, he seemed to blame Takuya's continued absence.

The terror that was always foremost in her thoughts usually distracted her from the fact that another week had passed, and Takuya still hadn't called her. But when she was able to concentrate on her normal life—if her life was really ever normal—this upset her.

She missed him horribly.

It had been enough to be alone before she was scare silly. Now, more than ever, she yearned for his carefree laugh and his infectious grin. She needed the safe sanity of his homemade garage and his warm hand around her cold fingers.

She'd had expected him to call on Monday. She wanted to believe that Takuya wasn't breaking up with her because she doesn't wanna hurt her feelings, would he just five up on her?

She called him Tuesday, but no one answered.

On Wednesday she called every half hour until after eleven at night, desperate to hear the warmth of Takuya's voice.

Thursday—she was arguing with herself, trying to justify a quick trip to Takuya's house, but she couldn't do it.

As much as it would hurt Zoe, she knew it was better for Takuya that he was avoiding her. Safer for him.

It was bad enough that she couldn't' figure out a way to keep Nathan happy. If Zoe told Koji what she saw, a 'World War III' would occur. She wouldn't want that.

So she couldn't run away from Takuya. Even if she could, where would she go? To Koji's? She shuddered at the thought of dragging her lethal shadows into her mother's safe, sunny world. She would never let anyone fight because of her.

The worry was eating a hole in her stomach. Soon she would have matching punctures.

That night, Zoe called Shinya again to see if the Kanbaras were out. Nathan warned her not to make a nuisance of herself—Takuya would call when he got around it.

Friday afternoon, as she walked home from school, it hit her out of the blue.

She wasn't paying attention to the familiar road.

As soon as she thought of it, she felt really stupid for not seeing it sooner. Sure, she'd had a lot on her mind—revenge—obsessed—a ragged hole in the center of her chest—but when she laid the evidence out, it was embarrassingly obvious.

Takuya avoiding her. Nathan saying he looked strange upset…Shinya's vague, unhelpful answers.

Even her nightmares had been trying to tell her that. Whatever was happening, she had to finish it.

What should she do? She weighed the dangers against each other.

She went looking for Takuya.

If she didn't go after him, Zoe would look like an idiot. Maybe it would be too late if she didn't act soon.

It had been a week. A week was more than enough time for them to have returned, so she must not be a priority. There's a chance that she'd be losing Takuya.

It was worth the danger of the secluded forest road. This was no idle visit to see what was going on. She _knew _what she has to do. This has to be done. She was going to talk to Takuya—kidnap him if she had to.

Meanwhile, Shinya decided she'd better call Zoe. Maybe whatever was going on with Takuya was something Zoe should be involved in. Shinya dashed in, in a hurry to be on his way.

Zoe answered the phone herself.

"Zoe Orimoto."

"Zoe, its Shinya."

"What's wrong?"

Shinya couldn't argue with his doomsday assumption this time. Both of their voices were shaking.

"I'm worried about big brother?"

"Why?" she asked, surprised by the unexpected topic.

"I think…I think something weird is going with big brother. He's acting pretty weird these nowadays. And I'm scared."

"Yeah…I know…he's avoiding me. I'm scared, too."

"Don't be mad, Zoe. But I saw someone with him. A woman."

"You mean Lilith?" Zoe corrected, surprised again.

"Yes. You know her?"

Zoe's voice was relaxed when she answered. "No. Just saw Lilith with your brother."

"Zoe, it's not like he's cheating on you, _is_ he?"

"Did you talk to Takuya about this?" She was trying to soothe Shinya now.

"Well, he told me to 'stay out of his way'."

"Well, Shinya, then I'm sure it's okay. Takuya's a big boy now; he was probably messing around. I'm sure he's fine. He can't spend every waking minute with you, after all."

"This isn't about me," Shinya insisted, but the battle was lost.

"I don't think you need to worry about this."

"Zoe…" Shinya's voice was starting to sound whiney. "Are you crying? Is something bothering you?"

Zoe realized tears are coming down her cheeks again.

"Did anything happen to you and big brother?"

Zoe was momentarily distracted—stunned, really—by Shinya's concern. There was no way to tell Shinya the truth.

"I'm okay," she lied.

"I'm afraid you're not, Zoe."

Zoe sniffed, wiping off of her warm tears. "Can I talk to Takuya, please?"

"Big brother's not here."

What a shock. "Do you know where he is?"

"He's out." Shinya's voice was careful.

"Oh yeah? Anyone I know? Lilith?" She could tell the words didn't come across as casually as she'd meant them to.

"I think he's with Lilith today." Shinya said slowly.

"Well, have he call me when he gets in, all right?"

"Sure, sure. No problem."

"See you soon, Shinya," she muttered into the phone. "Don't worry about Takuya, Shinya. I'm sure it's nothing."

"Fine," Shinya said curtly, frustrated as his words reminded him of the more urgent crisis at hand. "Bye."

Zoe hung up.

Zoe went to look for Takuya. She'd miss school. When she saw Takuya, he was going to have to talk to her.

Zoe spotted Takuya at the U-turn. She headed toward Takuya. It was stuffy today, no breeze. She put her feet on the street.

A movement flashed in her peripheral vision—Takuya spotted her with a confused expression. She waved once and smiled a tight smile, but ran after Takuya across the street.

His eyes narrowed.

Zoe was prepared, but she wished she could punch his jaw.

"What are you doing here, Zoe?" Takuya growled.

She stared at him in blank astonishment.

There was darkness in Takuya now. Like Zoe's sun had imploded.

"Takuya?" she whispered.

He just stared at her, his eyes tense and angry.

She realized they were alone. Nobody near them.

She wanted to hit Takuya.

The violent desire caught her off guard and knocked the wind out of her. It was the most forbidden of all wishes—eve when she only wished it for a malicious reason like this. The future was lost to her forever, had never really been within her grasp. She scrambled to gain control of herself while the hole in her chest ached hollowly.

"What do you want?" Takuya demanded, his expression growing more resentful as he watched the play of emotion across her face.

"I want to talk to you," she said in a weak voice. She tried to focus, but she was still reeling against the escape of her taboo dream.

"Go ahead," he hissed through his teeth. His glare was vicious. She'd never seen him look at anyone like that, least of all me. It hurt with a surprising intensity—a physical pain, stabbing her head and heart.

Zoe took a deep breath. "You know what I want to know."

He didn't answer. He just stared at her bitterly.

She stared back and silence stretched longer. The pain in his face unnerved her. She felt a lump beginning to build in her throat.

"Can we walk?" She asked while she could still speak.

He didn't' respond in any way; his face didn't change.

They started walking down the street. Her feet squished in the damp grass and mud beside the road, and, as that was the only sound. She felt better when Takuya went beside her. As they walked, she struggled for the right thing to say, but nothing came. She just got more and more angry at Takuya…he had allowed this…he broke his promise.

Takuya suddenly picked up the pace, striding ahead of her easily with his long legs, and then swinging around to face her, planting himself in her path so she would have to stop too.

She was distracted by the overt grace of his movement. Takuya had been nearly as klutzy as her. When did he change?

"Let's get this over with," she said in a hard, husky voice.

Takuya waited. He knew what she wanted.

"It's not what you think." His voice was abruptly weary. "It's not what I thought—I was way off."

"So what is it, then?"

He studied her face for a long moment, speculating. The anger never completely left is eyes.

Her jaw tightened, and she spoke through her teeth. "I thought you love me."

"I did."

"But you don't need me anymore," she said sourly.

"What? You know, Zoe—you're so stubborn."

"And now you've seen the light. Hallelujah."

"Where are you getting at?"

"You know exactly where I'm getting at!" Zoe yelled. "Where's the Takuya I know? The Takuya I love?" Her voice turned brittle and she looked at Takuya, rage burning out from her eyes. She was already crying. "I thought I can count on you…you promised that you would never ever hurt me!"

No reply.

"What's the matter? Too coward to talk?" Zoe punched Takuya's chest. "What's happening to you, Takuya? Do love someone more than me already?" Zoe grabbed Takuya's collar and kept shaking him off.

"Answer me!" Zoe yelled. "Is. There. Someone. You. Love. More. Than. Me?"

Takuya didn't seem to be listening. He was taking deep, deliberate breaths, trying to calm himself. He was so mad that his hands were shaking.

"Takuya, please," Zoe whispered. "I'm sick and tired of being alone. All day and night long, alone in the house."

Takuya was lost with words.

"What's wrong with you?" Zoe demanded, tears collecting in her eyes.

"Everything," he whispered. "Every part of me hurts."

The pain in his voice was nearby tangible.

The stupid tears had escaped the corners of her eyes. She wiped them away with the back of her hand, and folded her arms across her chest.

He reached out to her, as he had once before, stepping forward with his arms wide.

This time Zoe cringed away, holding his hands us defensively. "Don't touch me," she whispered. "Because you have Lilith. Isn't that nice—you've always looked up to her so much." She clapped her hands together.

"What?"

And now you've seen the light. Hallelujah."

"Will you stop?"

"Who should I blame? Lilith?" She retorted.

"You should be thankful that you still got your Dad."

"You don't know anything about my past," Zoe fought. "So don't change the subject!" She snapped. "Now if I want to blame someone, why don't I put my finger at your filthy, _reeking _Lilith that you love so much?"

He halfway smiled; it was a bleak, twisted thing.

Takuya's mouth fell open and his breath came out with a _whooshing _sound. He was frozen in place, stabbed through the double-edged words. The pain twisted in familiar patterns through his body, the jagged hole ripping him open from the inside out, but it was second place, background music to the chaos of their thoughts. Takuya couldn't believe that he'd hear her correctly. There was no trace of indecision in her face. Only fury.

His mouth still hung wide.

"I don't understand who you mean," Takuya whispered.

She raised one eyebrow in disbelief. "I think you understand exactly who I mean. You're not going to make me say it again, are you?"

"I don't understand who you mean," he repeated mechanically.

"_Lilith,_" she said slowly, drawing out the word, scrutinizing his face as she spoke it. "I saw that—I can see in your eyes what it does to you when I say her name. The one you made out at the meadow these past few days."

It took Takuya too long to come up with the correct response. He shook his head in confusion. "You're being ridiculous," he told her.

"Fine," she answered, breathing deeply. "I don't wanna argue with you anymore. It doesn't matter anyway, the damage is done."

"_What damage?_"

She didn't flinch as he shouted the words in her face.

"Leave me alone. There's nothing more to say, I've already told you everything I wanted to."

He gaped. "There's everything more to say! You haven't said anything yet!"

"You're the one who haven't said anything yet!" She yelled back at him.

"I'm sorry, Zoe," Takuya said each word distinctly in a cold voice that didn't seem to belong him.

"You broke your promise, Takuya. You lied to me!" The blank emptiness of her life before—before Takuya brought some semblance of reason back into it—reared up confronted her. Loneliness choked in her throat. "Stay away from me. I don't wanna ever talk to you again."

The silly, inconsequential hurt was incredibly potent. Zoe's tears welled up again. "Are you…breaking up with me?" The words were all wrong, but they were the best way he could think to phrase what he was asking.

She barked out a bitter laugh. "Hardly. I think I am."

"Zoe…why? I know I've hurt you but I didn't mean to. Please, Zoe. I almost broke my promise to you. I need you!" The blank emptiness of her life before—Takuya brought semblance of reason back into it—reared up and confronted him. Loneliness choked in their throat. "I'm sorry, Zoe," Takuya said each word distinctly in a cold voice that didn't seem to belong to him.

"Almost? You just did!"

Zoe heard her voice escaping in a whisper.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't…before…" she was desperate, reaching, stretching the truth so far that it curved nearly into a shape of a lie. "Maybe…you and I changed," she whispered. "I gave you time…you quit on me when I gave you time, Takuya. I can't take that."

His face went from anger to agony in a second. One shaking hand reached toward her and she slapped it away from her.

"No. Don't think like that, Zoe, please. I blame myself for this, this is my entire fault. This one is _all _me. I swear I'll make it up to you."

"It's not you, it's me," she whispered. "There won't be a next time."

"I mean it, Zoe. Don't do this…" he struggled, his voice going even huskier as he fought to control his emotion. His eyes were tortured. "Am I not good enough to be your boyfriend anymore? I'm good."

"You _were_ good. But not anymore to me." She stared at him, confused and appalled. "What are you _saying?_ You _were_ much better than I am, Takuya. You _were _good. Now, I'm telling you that you aren't anymore. Takuya. It's not a vicious lie, Takuya! Let me tell you that!" She was suddenly yelling again.

Takuya's face went hard a flat. "No one had to tell me anything. I know what I am."

"Good to know, because what I think is what you are! Takuya—liar, cheater, what else? Does liar and cheater make a difference?"

She was backing away from him.

"I'm sorry, Zoe," he said again; this time it was a broken mumble.

"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry." She repeated. "Sorry won't change anything—from now on, Takuya doesn't exist in my world anymore."

Zoe turned and almost ran away from him.

Takuya was unable to move from where he stood. He stared at Zoe, walking away. There was no reaction inside. No flutter ay the edge of the curtain, no sound of voices or movement. It faced him vacantly.

The rain started to drizzle, stinging here and there against their skin. Would any of them come back? Do they have to?

The rain picked up, and so did the wind. The drops were no longer falling from above; they slanted at an angle from the west. She could smell the brine from the ocean. Her hair whipped in her face, stinging to the wet places and tangling in her lashes. She can't take it.

Zoe didn't comment. It didn't matter. She was already soaked.

_Not as bad! Not as bad! _Their mind tried to comfort them. It was true. This wasn't bad. This wasn't the end of the world, not again. This was just the end of what a little peace there was left behind. That was all.

_Not as bad, _they agreed, and then added, _but bad enough._

She'd thought Takuya had been healing the hole in hers—or at least plugging it up, keeping it from hurting so much. She'd been wrong. He'd just been carving out his own hole, so that she was now riddled through like Swiss cheese. She wondered why she didn't crumble into pieces.

Zoe got home a few minutes later. Nathan was waiting on the porch.

"You look pretty upset," he commented as he opened the door for me.

Nathan looked at her face. A kind of horrified recognition registered in his expression. She tried to feel her face from the inside out, to know what he was seeing. Her face felt empty and cold and she realized what it would remind him of.

"Did he break up with you?" Nathan was perplexed. "What happened, Zoe?"

"_I _broke up with _him._" Zoe answered.

"I thought you loved him."

"None of your business—Mind your own business—just stay out of it."

Nathan put his arm around her and helped her inside. He didn't comment on her sodden clothes.

"I'll be fine, don't worry." She could hear the water from the clothes dripping to the floor and splashing on the linoleum. "I'm going to go change."

She decided to take a shower because she was cold, but the hot water didn't seem to affect the temperature of her skin. She was still freezing when she gave up and shut the water off. In the sudden quiet, she could hear Nathan talking to someone downstairs. She wrapped the towel around her, and cracked the bathroom door.

She put her pajamas on and picked up the plush bear that Takuya gave her. She threw it away from her and sat on the floor. She hugged her knees and keeps bumping her head at the bed over and over again while crying. Life seemed dark enough at the moment that she let Takuya cheat. The hole—holes now—were already aching, so why not? She pulled out the memory—not a real memory that would hurt _too _much, but the false memory of Takuya's voice in her mind this afternoon—and played it over and over in her head until she fell asleep with the tears still streaming calmly down her empty face.

It was a new dream tonight. Rain was falling and Takuya was walking soundlessly beside her, though beneath _her _feet the ground crunched like dry gravel. But he wasn't her Takuya; he was the new, bitter, graceful Takuya.

She wasn't sure, when she woke in the dark, if she'd just begun crying, or if her tears had run while she slept and simply continued now. She stared at her dark ceiling. She could feel that it was the middle of the night—she was still half-asleep maybe more than half. She closed her eyes wearily and prayed for a dreamless sleep.


	17. Tried

Shinya's eyes flew wide open with fright, though he was so exhausted and muddled that he was not yet positive whether he was awake or sleep.

Someone was knocking on the door. He realized that he fall asleep on the couch. He was watching the video of him, Claire and Takuya and their father (Don).

Confused and clumsy with sleep, he stumbled out of the couch, left the TV on and went to the door.

And then a familiar, husky voice called.

"Shinya!" it hissed. "Damn it, open the door!"

Shinya needed two seconds to move, but then hurried to the door knob. The clouds were dimly lit from behind, enough for him to make sense of shapes.

"Where have you _been?_" Shinya gasped.

"She broke up with"—he huffed—"I broke my promise to her!"

"When did you ever promise to come home midnight?"

He snorted, unamused. "Why are you still up?"

"What? Zoe…you…gone…how?" Shinya blurted.

Takuya cried himself. Takuya sat near the front door. Zoe's harsh rejection had punched a painful new hole in what was left of his chest. She'd left a new nightmare behind her, like an infection in a sore—the insult after the injury.

"Big brother, talk," Shinya ordered.

"I had an affair…she caught me cheating…we talked while ago…she broke up with me…I explained everything to Lilith, the girl I had an affair…went home…explaining things to my buck-toothed little brother—"

"Okay, I get it!" Shinya interrupted him. "You had an affair?"

"I didn't mean to," Takuya replied. "Besides, I left Lilith."

"Why?" Shinya mumbled.

"I screwed up, Shinya. I ruined everything."

"Big brother, can I punch you?" Shinya asked.

"Sure, sure," he muttered.

Shinya smacked Takuya's face. "Wow. That actually felt good," Shinya exclaimed. Shinya hit Takuya once more. "Are you regretting what you've done?"

"I just met Lilith last two weeks ago at the park. At first, I thought Zoe was the one I wanted and Lilith was the one I needed."

"So you insisted of not telling Zoe? You could've at least broken up with Zoe before you do anything more stupid with that Lilith," Shinya scolded.

"I'm afraid to hurt her."

"Well, congratulations! You just did."

"I was afraid to make a choice."

"Will you snap out of it, big brother?" Shinya smacked Takuya's head.

"OUCH!" Takuya hissed. "Hey!"

"Look what you've done. Instead of losing one, you lost two of them," Shinya pointed. Shinya went into the living room and continued watching their family video. Takuya followed him.

"You know, big brother. I know a person who knows how to stand up for himself and put up a fight. And when something goes wrong, he'll find a way to fix it," Shinya explained.

A wide grin spread slowly across Takuya's face; he seemed extremely pleased with Shinya's explanation. It was the grin that they knew and loved.

That was a bit much for Shinya.

"Thanks Shinya," Takuya patted Shinya's head.

Shinya smiled for himself and continued watching the video.

It was a video where they are happy and together. Don. Claire. Takuya. Shinya.

"_Smile for the video camera!" Don adjusted the palm-sized digital video camera a few times carefully, widened the frame. The eight years old Takuya stared at the camera. Eating his ice cream_

"_Hi!" Takuya waved. "And here we are hanging out at the Amusement Park!" Takuya jumped._

"_You know, big brother," the five year-old Shinya said, looking directly at his ice cream. "The best part in ice cream is at the bottom."_

"_I know…" when Takuya was about to have his one last bite, Shinya pulled it off of his hands and swallow it. "Shinya! Mom!"_

"_I'm innocent!" Shinya chewed the cone with chocolate in front of Takuya. Making him jealous._

"_Okay, boys, we'll buy another one later," Claire said._

Takuya and Shinya smirked at the same time.

Another video that they've never watched before played. It was a video message from Don and Claire.

"That's weird, I haven't seen that before," Shinya raised an eyebrow.

"_Dear Takuya and Shinya," Don greeted._

"_If someday we won't be together, we're going to miss you so much," Claire said._

"_Never forget to put your study first boys," Don reminded him._

"Ahem," Shinya hissed.

"_Believe us that there is so much good near you than bad," Claire said._

"_All you gotta do is look hard enough."_

"_Know what's best for you, boys," Claire said._

"_We want you to know that we love you," Don followed._

"_It feels us with pride to know that no matter what happens in your life that we know you'd take care with each other."_

"_With kindness, bravery and selflessness that you always have," Don added. "And remember one thing Takuya and Shinya and don't forget it…"_

"_That no matter where we are…" Claire continued._

"_Know that as long as you have each other…"_

"_You're family, and you are home…"_

"_We love you forever and always Takuya and Shinya." Don and Clare said at the same moment._

"Okay, that's enough for one night," Takuya said when Shinya yawned. "Get some sleep, Shinya." Takuya turned off the TV.

"Well, I hope tomorrow you've got to get your head working. I know you can fix your mistakes. I _believe _in you."

"Thanks for your encouragement, little brother. I won't lose Zoe, Shinya. Not for this."

Shinya went to their room, opening the door quietly, and then crashing on the bed.

Takuya followed Shinya, lying back on his bed, his head spinning. He was too hurt than confused, too worn out. He closed his eyes, trying to make sense of it, only to be swallowed up by unconsciousness so swiftly that it was disorienting.

It was not that peaceful, dreamless sleep he'd yearned for—of course not. He was in the meadow, and he started to wander the way he always did.

And then Zoe was there. He grabbed her hand, pulling her back toward the meadow.

"Takuya, what's wrong with you?" She asked. Shoving him back. Her face was the frightened face of a girl, and she's beautiful. She yanked with all her strength, but Takuya resisted; Zoe didn't want to go to the meadow.

"Sorry, Zoe, sorry1" he whispered, terrified.

The abrupt wave of déjà vu was so strong it nearly woke Takuya up.

A light was coming toward them. But he was getting ahead of himself. Something else had to happen first.

Zoe dropped his hand and yelped. Shaking and twitching away from him. In her place she was burning.

The dream veered off course, like a train jumping tracks.

Takuya woke screaming at the top of his lungs.

Shinya come to check on Takuya. He buried his head in his pillow and tried to muffle the hysterics. He pressed the cotton tight against his face, wondering if he couldn't also somehow smother the connection he'd just made.

"Hey, are you okay?" Shinya snapped.

"I know it all now—I know what to do." Takuya gasped.

"Sometimes, I think of you being possessed," Shinya walked out of the room.

There was something stuck in his throat choking him. He tried to swallow it down, but it was lodged there, unmoving. He tried to spit it out.

"Zoe," he gasped.

Yes, that was the word that he was choking on.

The whole world lurched, tilting the wrong way on its axis.

He clutched his head in his hands, trying to keep it from exploding.

In his head, everything spun and shifted, rearranging so that things that had meant one thing before, now meant something else.

Suddenly, he was in a frantic hurry. He glanced at the clock—it was way too early and he didn't care. He need some help. He had to see Koji, JP and Koichi so he could tell them that he had almost had lost his mind altogether.

He pulled on the first clean clothes he could find, not bothering to be sure they matched, and took the stairs two at a time. He almost ran into Shinya as he skidded into the hallway, headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked, as surprised to see him as he was too seeing Shinya. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Yeah. I need some help with my friends."

"Good luck with that."

"I'll hope for the best, if they have to hit me, I'll take it."

"It's pretty early." He frowned when Takuya's expression didn't change. "Don't you want breakfast?"

"Not hungry." The words flew through his lips. Shinya was blocking his path to the exit. Takuya considered ducking around him and making a run for it, but he knew he would have to explain to him later. "I'll be back—Oooh…Pancakes!"

Shinya smiled. "One bite would be okay," Takuya took a one big bite of the pancake.

"Straight to Minamoto's house, right? No stops on JP's?"

"Of course not, where would I stop?" His words were running together in a hurry.

"I don't know," Shinya admitted.

Takuya hesitated, his stomach spinning in uncomfortable loops.

"See ya later, little brother…by the way, delicious pancakes!" he commented.

Minamoto's house was dark, no lights in the windows, but he didn't care is he woke them. His fist thudded against the front door with angry energy; the sound reverberated through the walls.

"Come in," he heard Koichi call after a minute, and a light flicked on.

He twisted the knob; it was unlocked. Koji was leaning around an open doorway just off the little kitchen. When Koji saw who it was, his eyes widened briefly, and then his face turned stoic.

"Well, good morning, Takuya. What are you doing up so early?"

"Hey, Koji. Can I have a favor?"

"First, we need to talk," he said, straight-faced.

"Fine," he muttered under his breath as he stalked to the hallway. Koji sighed.

"You should be thankful that Mom and Dad are out," Koichi snapped. Sitting at the stairs.

"Do you know you just did?" Koji demanded, sick of the stalling.

"Yep," Takuya replied.

"You cheated on Zoe."

Takuya's expression flickered, and then went black.

"How are you going to fix this?" Koichi continued.

Koji and Koichi pursed their thick lips for a long moment. "Don't tell us you want us to help you with that Lilith," Koichi finally said, nodding toward the tiny hallway off the front room.

"You're out late a lot these days making out with another girl—shame," Koji scolded. Koji and Koichi folded their arms across their chest.

"Are you guys done now?" he asked in an expressionless voice.

"Yes," they sighed.

"I think I'm nothing but a stupid jerk."

Koji and Koichi nodded, and then they gazed at each other for a minute.

Takuya could see many questions for him in their dark eyes, but he didn't voice them either.

"Look," he said, breaking the loud silence. "I'll set my mistakes right. But I'm gonna need your help, okay?"

"In one condition," Koji agreed.

"Name it," Takuya responded.

Koji punched Takuya before Koichi did.

"Okay…OW!" Takuya moaned. "How many times do I have to get punched? A hundred. I hope JP's in the good mood," Takuya wondered.

They walked down to JP's house. It was still dark—the gloomy predawn of a cloudy day—it was colder at JP's house, with the wind whipping off, and they shoved their hands deep into the pockets of their pants. At least the rain had stopped.

As Takuya thought, JP was going to punch him. Takuya paced down on the ground when he was punched by JP. He couldn't see the bright side, just the cause and effect. He picked his way up carefully, his friends watching him.

"I've regret what I've done!" Takuya yelled. "I hurt Zoe…but I didn't mean to, okay?" he screamed.

"Jeez, calm down," JP snorted.

"Get cha' head in the game, Takuya!" Koji pointed.

"What's the plan, boss?" Koichi asked Takuya.

"Hi, Zoe."

Koji's greeted. It was soft, almost shy. She could see his silhouette against the coming sunrise—it looked enormous. 

"Koji? Come in." Koji went in.

"Takuya told me everything—he said he was more than sorry. I knew how it feels."

"Yeah, it's like a big hole punched through my chest all the time," she whispered.

It was quiet for a long moment and, though it was still too dark to see well, her skin prickled as if his eyes were searching his face. There must have been enough light for him to read her expression, because when he spoke again, his voice was suddenly acidic.

"You could have just called," she said harshly.

He nodded. "I know."

"Why did you come?" she demanded, not halting her angry side.

"I thought you need a friend."

Zoe snorted. "Oh, much better."

"Zoe, Takuya's dying to have you—"

"Isn't what he has done enough? Don't worry about it. I never want to talk to him ever again."

"Don't worry about it?" he demanded in disbelief. "Zoe, he didn't mean to! He needs you because—"

"I can take care of myself without him," she growled. "He won't fool me anymore. He's only making it more difficult—"

"Zoe!" Koji hissed, interrupting her.

"What?"

His voice was pale with revulsion. "How can you…feel that way? I know Takuya. He loves you!" The thought made her stomach twist.

She came to an abrupt stop. "What do you want me to feel?" she retorted. "Happy?" Zoe forced a smile. "Swee-eet! I caught my _boy friend _cheating! How's that?"

The sun turned the clouds slivery pink, shining through the window glasses. Koji could see her expression now; it was angry, frustrated, betrayed.

"Then read my lips! FORGET IT!" Zoe yelled.

"Could you…well, try _not _being stubborn for a…minute?" Koji suggested in a whisper.

He threw his hand sup in the air. "Like I have a choice about it!" she shouted. "And how would that help anything, if you're worried about me?"

"I don't understand you."

She glared at him, her eyes narrowing and her mouth twisting into s snarl. "You know what makes me so mad I could just kill?"

Koji flinched away from her hostile expression. She seemed to be waiting for an answer, so she shook her head.

"Takuya was right, you are stubborn—there you shout and yell, can't you give Takuya a _second chance?" _

"How is that fair?" Her hands shook with anger. "I'm sure you're on Takuya's side because he's your best friend," she snorted.

"Ugh!" Koji groan, pressing his trembling fists to his temples and squeezing his eyes shut. "Would you listen to yourself?"

"What?"

He took two steps toward her, leaning over her and glaring in fury. "Well, I'm so sorry that Takuya hurt, Zoe. Takuya's a great person Zoe, and so are you."

Zoe jumped to her feet and glared back. "If his so great, then why did he hurt me?" She shouted. "Is it what I am, stupid, is it what I _do?_"

"What's that supposed to mean?" he roared, his entire frame quivering with rage. "Zoe," he pleaded, making his tone soft and even. "Could we all just forgive and forget? Isn't there some other way? I mean, you two could move on and start something new, a new life."

She straightened up with a jerk, like his words had sent an electric shock through him. Her eyebrows shot up and her eyes stared wide.

"Forgive and forget?" she demanded.

"What did you think we were talking about?"

She wasn't trembling anymore. She looked at Koji with half-hopeful disbelief. "You think I could just forget about what he had done in a blink of an eye?"

"Yes, Zoe, yes. I'm telling you to give him a…chance. That would make me feel fine," Koji promise her, and he knew as he said the words that he meant them. "Just find a way not hurting Takuya…that's all that won't upset me. He's an innocent person, Zoe, people like Mr. Orimoto, and he can't move on without—"

"Is that all? Really?" she interrupted him, a smile breaking across his face. "You'll be upset because I won't forgive him? That's the only reason?"

"Isn't that reason enough?"

She started to laugh.

"Zoe Orimoto, this is _so _not funny!"

"Whatever," she agreed, still chortling.

She took one long stride and caught Koji in hug.

"You really, honestly don't mind that I won't give him a chance?" she asked, her voice joyful in Koji's ear.

"No," he gasped. "You've' got a point—this is your choice, this is your life."

He let her go, but took both Koji's hands. "If we're really meant for each other, love will find a way to get as together again."

Koji studied her face, and it was clear that this was the truth. Relief pulsed through him.

"Really?" Koji asked.

"Really," Zoe promised solemnly.

Koji threw his arms around her, he stroked her hair.

"Sorry for the inconvenience," he apologized.

"Sorry for yelling at you."

He laughed.

She thought of something then, and pulled away from him so that she could see his face. Her eyebrows furrowed in anxiety. "How's Takuya? And the others?"

He shook his head, smiling like a huge burden had been removed from his shoulders. "Takuya's heart broke. Don't mind the others."

The memory was clear—she'd just been thinking of Takuya every day.


	18. Lied

Takuya's friends were at Takuya's house, helping Takuya to get together again with Zoe.

"Sheesh. Zoe's really scary when she's mad." Koji commented.

"But I don't understand. What happened at your conversation?" Koichi asked.

"Is there something we're missing?" JP added.

"Is she going to forgive big brother?" Shinya questioned.

Koji's face was serious, worried at once. "I tried to do my job, guys. I tried to convince her, but she was so stubborn."

"What did she said?" Takuya asked.

"Takuya, pal, she's right about one thing—I'm Takuya's side. Maybe she's too hurt to forget what you did so easily—trust me, she'll forgive and forget about it, but not today.

Takuya stared at Koji blankly for one second before he understood. Then the blood drained from his face and a thin, wordless cry of horror broke through his lips.

He nodded. "By the way, why did you order me to talk to Zoe? Of all people? Can't you do it yourself?" Koji questioned.

"Nothing," Takuya replied. "Just checking if she's still and at me."

Koji blinked twice, and cocked his head to one side. "You mean…what I did was for nothing?"

Takuya tried to sort out the chaos in his head so that he could answer. "You know—look on the bright side. The information you gave me is came pretty handy…" the words came out in wondering tone as it all sunk on. "Now that I got the information I want, time to move to plan B…"

"Pizza Delivery!" Shinya announced, making everyone to proceed to the kitchen.

"Oh, so there's plan B?" JP grinned, a tight fierce grin.

Each grabbed their pizza. "What if she doesn't give you second chance?"

Takuya shuddered. "Think positive," Takuya snapped.

"What _if?_" Koichi repeated.

"Then I'll have to get over it. I'll have to move on—"

A laugh interrupted him. "Takuya, that's what you get for being a bad boy," Koji said.

"This will be easy," JP exclaimed.

"I'm gonna have some fun!" Koichi added.

"That's what you think," Takuya smirked.

"When are you going to learn to give up?" Shinya asked.

"Now, I'm not counting on that giving up thing," Takuya said quickly. "I don't' give up easily."

"Really?" Koji, Koichi, JP and Shinya said at the same time.

Takuya nodded. "I'll put my full effort," he qualified.

"How are you going to do that?" Koji questioned.

Takuya's expression changed. "Good question. JP, could I borrow your pick-up truck?

"Why?" JP asked.

"Just answer the question," Takuya mumbled.

"Fine…" JP finished his pizza.

"Get Dad's acoustic guitar, Shinya—Koji and Koichi, may I borrow your stereo?" Shinya went upstairs to search for Nathan's old acoustic guitar.

"No problem," Koji and Koichi replied.

"I'll meet you guys back here," Takuya announced.

"Sir, yes, sir!" Koji, JP and Koichi replied. The three went back home to get what they were asked.

Shinya stumbled back into the living room handing Takuya the guitar. "Aw, serenade eh?"

"Yep." Takuya sat down, checking the guitar. "It's been a while since I haven't seen or used a guitar."

"I hope Zoe's in the mood for listening."

"This is my last attempt. If she doesn't accept, I guess I'll have to stop what I'm doing."

Shinya stared down at him, confused with relief. He started babbling, Takuya's eyes getting moist. "Even though she doesn't forgive you?" Shinya asked.

"Do I have a choice?"

"If you found another girl, just like Zoe—the girl you've been waiting for every day. Would you forget Zoe?"

Shinya sat down next to his brother, Takuya put one big arm around Shinya comfortingly. "I'll take my chances on my right girl. To be honest, I'm afraid. Which I didn't need to be."

"Yesterday, what I see around me is nothing but a lost and a law breaker kid…" Shinya mumbled, lost in thought. "Now, I don't' see any kid around here."

Takuya patted Shinya's head.

JP parked the pick-up truck holding a stereo in front of Zoe's house. Takuya jumped out of the truck holding the guitar. He plugged the chord of the stereo to the guitar. And then his fingers ran into the strings.

Koichi brought a tambourine which came in handy. JP tapped on his truck, using it as the beat of the song being played.

"Zoe, c'mon!" Koji yelled form the outside. "You gotta see this!"

Zoe peeked to the outside through her window.

"What is he _doing _now?" She groaned as Takuya started singing.

_How can I find some thing_

_That two can take_

_Without stumbling as we_

_Walk into our futures wake_

_I'm like a broke record_

_I'm like a broken record_

_That you can play_

_Repeating as if it matters_

_Everything I want I want to say_

_I'll be all right_

_As long as it matters_

_As long as you're here with me now_

Zoe looked confused for a minute, and then she went outside.

Koji came to Zoe. "Can you forgive him now?"

"NO!"

He looked at her with guilt-ridden eyes. "Why not?"

"Which you tell your friend to cut this out?"

Koji looked down. "No way…"

Zoe thought about that carefully. "Fine, I'll do it for you." Zoe shoved Koji out of her way and pulled the chord of the guitar.

"Aw, I was having fun," Koichi whined.

"Koji, tell Takuya to get out of here," Zoe ordered.

"Why would I do that?" Koji eyed Takuya and Zoe. "Takuya's right beside you."

"He's right," Takuya agreed.

"Would you just all leave…please?" Zoe almost shouted.

"Not without a talk," Takuya face dropped lower.

Zoe sighed. "Koji. JP. Koichi. Leave." Zoe gulped.

"You heard the lady," Koji jumped on the truck, followed by his twin. JP went into driver's seat and roared his truck to life.

"Good luck, Takuya," Koichi waved good-bye.

"Thanks," Takuya muttered as he handed the guitar to Koji. And then they were alone.

"Now. Explain." Zoe folded her arms across her chest.

"There's more than one reason I'm here, Zoe. I wasn't supposed to cheat on you, and that's a bad thing. I know you're mad…upset—"

"Why are you here?" Zoe interrupted.

"I came to apologize."

"I don't _accept!_" She walked away from him. Before she opened the door, Takuya grabbed her wrist.

"We're not yet finished."

Zoe slapped her hand away from Takuya's hold on her wrist.

"What you saw, what I did was pretty stupid of me. I should have a better hold on myself. I swore it would never happen, no matter what. I…don't want to lose you…when are you going to accept my apology?"

"What would happen…if I said after one zillion years?" she whispered.

"So be it," he whispered back.

She rolled her eyes. Then she sighed, and was serious again. "I can't take care of myself. I can keep a special eye on myself—I won't let anything happen to myself. Why don't you do the same? For Shinya and your friends?"

Something very, very obvious, something he should grasped at once—but he'd been so distracted by Zoe's words, that he'd come so completely missed it at the time—occurred to him only then, when Zoe used the present tense again.

_I can take care of myself._

It wasn't over.

"Sorry," he gasped, and Zoe's entire body went ice cold.

"Sorry?" Zoe asked anxiously. "Is that all you can say? Sorry?"

"Sorry…I mean—"

"See!" Zoe pointed, interrupting him. "Sorry!" She punched Takuya's shoulder. "Why do you keep saying sorry even though I'm not accepting it?"

"Because I have to…so I'm sorry."

"Sorry." She repeated. "Everytime you say sorry…ugh!" she groaned. "You just make me so…you make me so…MAD!"

Zoe laughed.

"Hey, are you okay?" Takuya asked, worry creasing his forehead.

She looked up at him, the tears running down on her cheeks. "Why in the world would I be okay, Takuya?"

Anguish replaced some of the bitterness in his face. "Right," he agreed, and took a deep breath. "Crap. Well…I—I'm so sorry Zoe." The apology was sincere, no doubt about it, though there was still an angry twist to Zoe's features.

"I didn't ask for you to apologize, Takuya."

"I know," he whispered. "But I couldn't leave things the way I did. That was horrible. I'm sorry."

She shook her head wearily. "I don't understand anything."

"I know. But before I go would you even turn to say I don't love you?" His voice faded until it sounded like it was coming through a long tunnel; he couldn't make out the individual words anymore. Their forehead dewed with sweat and their stomach rolled.

Zoe turned away from him quickly, and leaned at the door. Her body convulsed with useless heaves, her empty stomach contracting with horrified nausea, though there was nothing in it to expel.

Her head spun sickeningly.

"Takuya," she gasped as soon as she could catch her breath around the nauseous spasms. "I don't love you," she said "Like I loved you yesterday…like I loved you the day I first met you…like I loved you the day you confessed!" She shouted. "I sick and tired of your apologies," she explained in a whisper. "Now, leave me alone," she demanded, frantic. "Get out!" she hissed.

She pushed Takuya away from her without him fighting. She pulled the door and shut it closed. Zoe shoved herself into the wall, into the floor. She could hear her own sobbing, loud as it was, until she could go no farther into the crowded and the sound of her thrashing stopped. Tears gasp of agony.

She was horrified at herself, at the violence she'd allowed to flow through her body, whether consciously or not, but that was not why she was sobbing. She was sobbing because she was lying, and, stupid, stupid, stupid they were, and she lied.

Takuya was writhing while he walked home, and it was hard make sense of the pain. He felt as though he was dying because it was not real; he felt as though he was dying because, to him, it had felt real enough. In all that she'd lost since the end of their world, so long ago, he'd never before felt this. When his father didn't kept his promise, as well as his mother. There was no betrayal, only grief. His parents were died.

"I lied," She railed at herself. He wanted her pain to stop. It was too much, the extra burden of her agony. Hers was enough.

She sobbed, beyond control.

When Takuya got home, he went straight to the couch.

"Can you hear us, Takuya?" Koji asked.

"Big brother?"

"I think it didn't go well," JP sighed.

"I don't know is she's lying," Takuya moaned into Shinya's shoulder. "But why does it feel so real to me even though I knew it's a lie...?"

"Do you need some water?" Koichi questioned.

"A doctor?" Shinya followed.

"Tell us what to do," Koji demanded, anxious.

Takuya rolled his eyes. "I'm not sick—just broken," he almost shouted. The word _broken _didn't really seem to cover it.

Koji patted Takuya's back. "You mean you're scared?"

"What do you mean scared?" Takuya jumped up.

"Oh c'mon, big brother, you said it yourself…you're scared," Shinya blurted.

"Let me tell you a story," Koji pushed Takuya down. Koji began circling Takuya.

"Oooh…I bet this is going to be good," JP rubbed his hands. JP, Koichi and Shinya sat on the couch with Takuya.

"I've got this friend, his name was Kyle. I told him once that his a coward because he let go of his girl friend easily without a talk or a fight. He told me, he wasn't a coward and he's brave because he accepted the pain and the truth that no matter how he put up a fight just for the girl he loved, he still loses."

"Takuya?" Koji snapped. "Courage or coward?"

Takuya nodded, shuddering.

"I'm scared, okay? Are you happy now?" Takuya raised his hands in the air.

"That's it, don't keep it inside," Koji replied.

Takuya trembled again, and whimpered. "I'm afraid because I don't wanna lose, Zoe."

"How do you know you don't' wanna lose her?" JP raised an eyebrow.

"Because I love her. I'd do anything for her," Takuya explained, automatically snapping his hand.

"And she want you to move on," Koichi sighed.

"We know she's important to you. So let Zoe go," Shinya shook his brother's head.

"Oh not you guys, too," Takuya whispered. "Whose side are you guys? Mine or Zoe?"

Everybody's eyes filled wide, and then narrowed into slits. "Nobody's side." They said at the same time to Takuya.

Shinya left the discussion and decided to call Zoe.

"I can't let her go," Takuya whispered. "No…not yet. I'm gonna make her regret for breaking up with me. Think positive. Not giving up. I still know, I guess—that…that…" he swallowed hard. "That she still loves me. For me."

The guys were distracted by that, their faces torn between several different expressions.

"And I'm gonna need your help, are you guys helping or not?" Takuya almost growled.

"Admit it. You're nothing without us," Koji explained, shrugging weakly.

"Okay. I'll make you guys a deal—"

"Please," Koichi moaned. "Please. No more."

Takuya hesitated. "But this is a good deal."

"It better be important," JP said again, his face all business now.

"I wanna talk to Zoe. Us only. Alone. No flirting like this and that. Serious…joking…talk…"

"Continue," Koji cleared his throat.

"After that, I'm never gonna bother her. I'll move on whether she forgives me or not," Takuya promised.

"Okay," Koji agreed. "Are you guys' fine with the deal?"

"Fine," JP answered.

"No more after the _talk? _Why not?" Koichi grinned.

"And I just know how?" Shinya jumped in.

"Spill," Takuya cleared his throat.

"Well, when I called Zoe, Mr. Orimoto was the one who answered. He told me that Zoe's going to Thailand for one week. Zoe told him that she misses her grandparents there so she's going to pay them a visit for one day then she's going on her own," Shinya explained.

"What do you want us to do?" Koichi questioned.

Koji smacked Koichi's head.

"Ow…hey!" Koichi cried, rubbing his head.

"It means, we've got Zoe cornered. We're following her," Koji cleared. "Besides, Sem-Break. It means, no classes."

"That's the best idea you've ever came up, Shinya," Takuya admitted. Giving Shinya a bear hug.

"Best idea I've ever had so far," Shinya corrected.

"We're going to Thailand?" JP exclaimed.

"Yeah. First thing in the morning tomorrow," Takuya pointed. "Are guys coming or not?"

"Of course!" Koji and Koichi answered.

"Sorry guys, I can't," JP apologized. "I'm attending a dance lesson starting tomorrow."

"That sucks," Koji commented.

"Shinya, I think you should stay home," Takuya bit his lip.

"You're my big brother, I'm your little brother, you know how I always got your back," Shinya spit.

"Fine," Takuya sighed. "After the talk, I'm leaving Zoe alone," he promised.

"Oh…I almost completely forgot," everybody's eyes snapped of Shinya. "Zoe's departing at six pm."

Everybody checked the clock, it's five-thirty.

"I'll meet you guys at the Airport," Takuya announced. "Thanks, guys," he added.

And then Koji, Koichi spun to the door.


	19. Flight

They made their flight with seconds to spare, and then the true torture began. The plane sat idle on the tarmac while the flight attendants strolled—so casually—up and down the aisle, patting the bags in the overhead compartments to make sure everything fit. The pilots leaned out of the cockpit, chatting with them as they passed.

"Where exactly is Zoe staying?" Takuya asked Shinya in a love voice.

"Bangkok." Takuya nodded in time with his bouncing.

At last the last plane rolled lazily from the gate, building speed with a gradual steadiness that tortured Takuya further. He expected some kind of a relief when they achieved liftoff, but his frenzied impatience didn't lessen.

Koji lifted his cell phone before they'd stopped climbing, turning his back on the stewardess who eyes him with disapproval. Something about Takuya's expression stopped the stewardess from coming to protest.

He tried to tune out what Koji was murmuring to Zoe; Takuya didn't want to hear the words again, but some slipped through.

"Where you are…What are you going to do there…How long are you going to be there…

"I know. I don't know when he's gonna learn." Takuya's voice dropped till it was nearly inaudible, though Takuya was sitting inches from him. Contrarily, Takuya and the rest listened harder. "I'll tell you what you gotta do…well, you've got one week vacation in Thailand…just relax…think about it, Zoe. What do you think you should do in Thailand, Bangkok?

Koji nodded. "Exactly. I think nobody's going to bother you there—you're not alone…leave Takuya to me; have a good vacation."

Koji laughed then, and there was a catch in her voice. "I've thought of that…I hope you and Takuya feel better." His voice became pleading. "Follow you? Why would Takuya do that? I mean…he's not a stalker. I promise, Zoe. I'll keep an eye on him. One way or another. No 'I love you' for Takuya? Kidding!"

Koji hung up, and leaned back in his seat with his eyes closed. "I hate lying."

"Tell us everything, Koji," Koichi begged. "I don't understand. Why did you lie, won't that help?"

"Two reasons," Koji whispered, his eyes still closed. "The first I told Zoe. We _could _ruin everything for her—if we get our hands on her, we can convince her to talk to you. If she knows we're coming for her, she'll avoid us or something like that.

"That's the second reason of course, the reason I couldn't say to Zoe. Because if she founds out, she'll kill us, all of us are going to have a fight." He opened her eyes and stared at his friends, beseeching. "If there were any chance we could win…if there were a way that Zoe would talk, maybe it would be different this time. That would be up to, Zoe."

"Wow. I didn't know you could be clever like that," Shinya commented.

"I'm just smarter than my twin," Koji replied.

"I could be smart," Koichi protested.

Takuya realized why Koji's eyes begged for their understanding. Koji was protecting both Takuya and Zoe, at their expense. He understood, and did not think badly of him.

"May I have a Coke?" The words snapped the boys back from the edge of hysteria.

From their mouth, Zoe's low, rough voice—broken and strangely childlike—"Zoe." they all whispered together.

"Where is she?" Takuya asked.

Koji stood carefully and scanned the seats carefully and finally, he caught Zoe. He sat quickly.

"Don't tell me she saw you," Takuya hissed.

"Don't worry, she didn't," Koji gasped. "She's pretty close to our seats."

"Where?" Takuya questioned.

"Just don't be too obvious," Koji hissed.

Not that there was any justification, either way. Takuya still couldn't believe that he's was capable of reacting like this. It made no sense! He remembered with painful clarity Zoe's words while ago, right after he sang to her, one after the other. _I don't love you like I loved you yesterday, _she'd said, as if should be such an obvious conclusion. But the words she had spoken in the street as she'd left Takuya canceled all that out—forcefully.

"_If _she would listen," Koji explained, pretending to be reading a newspaper. "But believe it or not, it's possible to lie. If you or Zoe lies, that won't be our problem anymore. And I'm sure she would be thinking, 'I love you, Takuya, I love you' as hard as he could. You know that."

Takuya ground his teeth in mute frustration. Covering his face with a pillow and shouting through it.

"If there were any way to do this without you guys, I wouldn't pulled you like this. It's very wrong of me," Takuya shoved himself to his seat.

"Don't be stupid. We're the last thing you should be worrying about." Shinya said.

Takuya shook his head impatiently. "Tell me what you meant, about hating to lie."

Koji smiled a grim smile. "I promised her I would keep an eye on you. It's not something I guarantee—not by a long shot." He raised his eyebrows, as if willing Takuya to talk to Zoe more seriously.

"You think Zoe's going to forgive me this time?" Takuya demanded in a whisper. "What makes me so bad?" It was hard to imagine something scarier than that.

Koji took a deep breath, and then abruptly leveled a dark glance on Takuya's shoulder. Takuya turned in time to see the man in the aisle seat looking away as if he wasn't listening to them. He appeared to be a businessman, in a dark suit with a power tie and a laptop on his knees. While Takuya stared at him with irritation, he opened the computer very soon and very conspicuously put headphones on.

"I was surprised that you ask," Koji said. "That you understood so immediately what you're going against—of course, because if she doesn't, she won't be able to move on. I thought I would have to explain. Well, even a good person makes a bad thing."

Takuya took a deep breath. "Things are going to get…serious this week,"

"Oh, it is," he assured him. Koji opened his mouth, and then closed it.

Takuya nodded again, as if he understood exactly what he was thinking. "I must be the most stupid enough to get in this mess."

"Who could be stupid enough to listen to you?" Koji wondered.

"Didn't Koichi tell you who would that be?"

"Yeah, right," Koji said, feeling the blank expression on Takuya's face.

Takuya's eyes popped with wide shock. "Cover up," Takuya ordered.

"Why?" Shinya asked in a voice that was too loud.

"Just do it!" His friends obeyed him.

When Zoe passed the second to the front seat, she stopped and turned around. All she can see was two men reading a newspaper and the other two covered with blanket. She thought she saw Takuya.

"So many things had happened to me today I'm imagining Takuya," Zoe whispered angrily. "That _stupid _son of a jackal!" Zoe stomped her way back to her seat.

Koji chuckled once at Zoe's reaction. "Couldn't it be more complicated than this, Takuya?"

Koichi uncover himself. "Well, you know what they say…the more you hate…"

"The more you love," Shinya added.

"I hope she thinks about that, she can probably figure it out for herself," Takuya sighed.

Koji thought about it. "Nope, she doesn't have any idea."

Takuya shook his head, disappointed. "Maybe we're too obvious. W e just have to keep this a secret to Zoe."

"She'll find us out," Shinya mumbled. It _was _obvious.

"It makes sense, she still loves you," Koji continued. "But, she wants to forget about you. If she gets bored, or crazy, she'll find a way to forget—"

"So shut up…" Takuya interrupted.

"I wonder where Zoe's planning to do in Bangkok—maybe a tour," Shinya wondered.

"I'll do what I can. It's not over yet," Takuya muttered.

"Not yet." Takuya let Shinya comfort him, though he knew Shinya though their chances were poor. "Hope you don't mess up."

Koji stiffened. "You say that like you mean it."

Shinya shrugged.

"Knock it off, somebody's sleeping here," Koichi snapped.

"Sorry," they apologized.

"You know what. If I get pissed off for Koichi, I'm going to do my damnedest to kick his butt on our way back home," Koji whispered.

"And I don't want any trouble from you. Do you understand that?" Takuya pointed to Shinya.

"Sure, big brother."

Takuya pulled back slightly so that he could glare at Shinya. "No trouble."

"Scout's honor," Shinya muttered.

Takuya rolled his eyes.

"Sleep would be nice, now," Shinya relaxed.

"Good idea," Koji yawned.

Koji and Shinya let their head fall against the seat and closed their eyes. Takuya watched Shinya in fascination for a long time. Eventually they became utterly motionless, Shinya's face like a stone sculpture. The minutes passed, and his friends fallen asleep. He didn't dare to interrupt them to eat.

Takuya wished there was something safe for him to think about. He couldn't allow himself to consider the horrors they were headed toward, or more horrific yet, the chance that they might fail—not if he wanted to keep from screaming aloud.

He couldn't _anticipate _anything, either. Maybe, if he were very, very, _very _lucky, Zoe would somehow be able to give Takuya a chance. But he wasn't as stupid as to think that giving him a second chance would mean that he could stay with her. He was no different, no more special that he'd been before. There would be no new reason for Zoe to want him now. Seeing her and losing her again…

He fought back against the pain. This is the price he had to pay for her to forgive him. He would pay it.

They showed a movie, he put his headphones on. He watched the figures moving across the little screen, but he couldn't tell if the movie was supposed to be romance or a horror film.

Zoe waited patiently as she could. When it was dark again, she opened the window to stare out the flat black that was no better than the window shade.

She was grateful that she'd had so many months' to practice with controlling her thoughts. Instead of dwelling on the terrifying possibilities that, no matter Koji said, she did not intend to survive, she concentrated on lesser problems. Like, what she was going to say to Nathan if she got back? That was a thorny enough problem to occupy several hours. And Takuya? Would she forgive him and forget everything she saw, what Takuya did, what they both said? Would Zoe end up home alone in Shibuya, with no one at all? Maybe she didn't _want _to survive, no matter what happened.

It felt like seconds later when she hadn't realized she'd fallen asleep.

"Zoe," she hissed, her voice a little too loud in the darkened cabin full of sleeping human.

She wasn't disoriented—he hadn't been out long enough for that.

"What's wrong?" She asked herself.

Zoe's eyes wide in the dim light of a reading lamp in the row behind her.

"It's so wrong." Zoe pouted fiercely. "Takuya. Please tell me you're not following me." She was talking to herself as she saw Takuya.

Zoe unfastened her seat belt but before she stood, and attendant tiptoed down the aisle to her. "Can I get you a pillow?" His hushed whisper was a rebuke to her comparatively loud conversation to herself.

"No, thank you." Zoe beamed at up him, her smile shocking lovely. The attendant's expression was dazed as he turned and stumbled him way back.

"Damn, I lost him," she breathed almost silently as the attendant walked away.

Takuya shook Koji's shoulder—waking him up.

"She saw me," Takuya whispered.

"What?"

"She saw me, I'm very thankful to the attendant." He grinned. "The longer she spends on her plans, the better for us."

It wasn't enough to make him hopeful, to make him feel the relief Koji obviously felt. There were still so many ways that she may not forgive him.

"So that's the first good news—the first break?" Koji asked, yawning. "What were you doing?"

"Well, I decided to watch Zoe while she's sleeping. Man," Takuya snorted. "I feel awful when she cries."

"I'm confused. How can she seeing you so clearly? And then other times, she sees you far away—she pretty clever."

Takuya's eyes tightened. Koji wondered is he guessed what he was thinking of.

"It's clear that I could be stupid, jerk, and I'm really concentrating to this kind of stuffs. Things happen—Zoe's pretty much of an observer. Plus, she's really, really hard to get. And a bad liar."

"And pretty stubborn," Koji reminded him.

Takuya shook his head. "Not so much."

Koji sighed. "I really wish you could have been right about her. In the beginning, when you first saw her, before you confessed…"

"What do you mean?"

"She's really wonderful." Koji barely mouthed the words.

He sighed. "Everything's possible for her."

"Actually, Takuya…" Koji hesitated. "Honestly, when her mind is set, there's no way stopping her. I think she could be pretty ridiculous sometimes."

Takuya stared at him, frozen with shock. Instantly, his mind resisted his words.

"She could be pretty scary when she's really my," Koji shivered. "I never want to underestimate Zoe."

"What's wrong with her?" Takuya gasped. "Oh, Koji, I don't know what else to do after this! I didn't know if this is going to help her so much—and I could slow things down for her." Takuya shoved a pillow to his face and screamed.

"Shh," Koji cautioned. The attendant was looking in their direction again. "Try to be reasonable," Koji whispered. "We have a lot of time. Will follow her. Even though it's going to be a pain." Koji made a face. "And be quiet, Zoe could hear you."

Takuya bit his lip. "I wonder if we could be friends with her grandparents."

"Yes." Koji smiled, his expression happy. "I think we will. Zoe will be furious, but what will she able to do about it?"

Takuya's heart beat faster. "Nothing at all."

Koji laughed quietly, and then sighed. "We'll have to split into to, Takuya. We'll stay a minute at her grandparents after Zoe leave while Koichi and Shinya will follow her."

"We'll take our chances on our brothers."

"This is so bizarre but fun."

"Oh well. This is purely hypothetical at this point, anyway. First we have to live through tomorrow."

"Good point." But at least they had something to hope for if they did. Takuya wouldn't let Zoe be distracted.

"Now, if you'll excuse me. Koji will go back to sleep," Koji said. "Aren't you going to sleep?"

"Can't sleep…I'll wake you up when there's something new."

"Right," Koji grumbled, certain that sleep was a lost cause. He rested him head against the seat, fading away.

Takuya looked at the slight gray glow that shone through the opened windows.

After an eternity, the plane began to descend toward Thailand, Bangkok. His friends remained in their trance. Takuya dithered reaching out to touch his friends, only to pull his hand back again. This happened a dozen times before the plane touched down with a jarring impact.

The pilot came on over the intercom, announcing, first in Thai and then in English, our imminent landing. The seat belt lights dinged and flashed.

"Guys," he finally said. "Guys, we have to go."

He touched their arms.

Their eyes came open very slowly. They shook their head from side to side for a moment.

"Anything new?" Koji asked in a low voice, conscious of the man listening on the other side of Takuya.

"Not exactly," Takuya breathed in a voice he could barely catch.


	20. Welcomed

"Hurry, up!" Takuya shouted impatiently while getting on the taxi.

They ran to the door and threw their selves in, feeling as though they might as well be wearing a black stocking over their head.

"Sheesh, Takuya," Koji complained.

"We're not in a hurry, are we?" Koichi questioned.

The interior was black leather, and the windows were tinted black/ it felt safer inside, like nighttime.

"Follow that Taxi," Takuya pointed the Taxi where Zoe was in. "The important question," Takuya corrected, "is whether we could lose Zoe, and I don't think so. We're lucky if we don't."

"I'm sure that will be very comforting," Koji relaxed on his seat.

Koichi thrilled a laugh. "Trust us, Takuya. You'll talk with her in _no _time." The driver hit the gas then, as Zoe's Taxi drove.

The gag watched out the windows as landscapes flashed past.

"What's the occasion?" Takuya asked.

"What's going on?" Koji muttered.

"Some kind of festival?" Koichi wondered.

The streets were full of people.

"What's the date today?" The driver questioned, smiling.

They weren't entirely sure. "The thirtieth, maybe?" Takuya answered.

"Well, that's ironic. You didn't know that it's International Festival of Dance and Music?" The driver raised an eyebrow. "Oh, right. Tourists."

"International Festival of Dance and Music means?" Koji asked.

The driver chuckled darkly. "Designed to position Bangkok as a cultural centre for world-class performing arts in Asia, the capital hosts the International Festival of Dance and Music every year." His smile was sardonic. "Each year, the star-studded festival presents an impressive program of world-class dance and musical performances bringing together the finest international artists and dancers from countries around the world like Italy, Spain, the Netherlands, Russia, and France, as well as celebrated Thai artists and performers, many of whom have gained international fame."

They were realizing what he meant when he's said _ironic. _

"I'm sure Zoe's going to attend the festival…she loves music," Shinya gulped.

"I'm not going to be very happy about this," Koji muttered.

"I'm not going to be very happy if I mess things up for Zoe on International Festival of Dance and Music, am I?" Takuya smirked.

Koichi shook his head, his expression grim. "No. We'll have to act very quickly tonight."

Takuya looked away, fighting against his teeth as they tried to break through the skin of his lower lip. Bleeding was not the best idea right now.

The sun was terrifyingly high in the pale blue sky.

"What time will the program start?" Koichi checked.

"The mayor's still planning on noon," the driver answered.

"What are we going to do?" Koji asked.

Takuya kept his eyes on the winding road.

"You don't have to do anything. Zoe's just going to pay his grandparents a few minutes visit, so Koichi and Shinya will follow her. Then Koji and I will have a few minute chat with the oldies."

"How are we going to work that?" Shinya questioned.

A small red car seemed to be racing backwards as the driver zoomed around it.

"Get close to Zoe as close as possible, and then you're going to convince her to talk to me."

Koichi and Shinya nodded.

"Try not to lose your cell phone. Make sure it's not battery empty. Or call us if there's a problem or something," Koji added. "We don't' have time for a concussion day."

Takuya groaned. That would be just like Zoe—in a moment of klutziness.

The sun continued to climb in the sky. It was too bright, and that had the gang packing.

"There," Takuya said abruptly, pointing to a simple but elegant house.

Takuya stared at Zoe, jumping out of the Taxi; Takuya was feeling the very first time hint of a new kind of fear. Every minute since yesterday morning—it seemed like a week ago—when Koji had spoken Zoe's name at the foot of the stairs, there had been only one fear. And yet, now, as he stared at his _ex-_girlfriend, he felt another, more selfish kind of dread thrill through him.

"Her grandparents' house is very beautiful," Koji commented.

"It absolutely terrified me," Koichi shivered.

"Let's go," Takuya announced in a flat, icy voice as Zoe entered the house.

Zoe began the steep climb to the stairs.

"There house is really big than I remembered," Zoe moaned. She could hear the clock. "And pretty quiet," she added. "Gran," she called over what she calls her grandmother. Her comforting voice echoed at the hall. "Pop?"

"Zoe? Zoe?" Gran called. Zoe sprinted to the door, to the sound of her voice.

"Zoe, is that really you?" Pop's voice continued as she ran into the long, high ceilinged room.

She stared around her, trying to find where the voices were coming from. She heard her grandparents laugh, and she whirled to the sound.

There they were, they hadn't changed much; their face looked just the same as Zoe remembered it. Their skin was soft and withered, bent into a thousand tiny creases that clung gently to the bone underneath. Like a dried apricot, but with a puff of thick white hair standing out in a cloud around it.

Their mouths—theirs a wizened pucker—spread into the same surprised half-smile at just the same time. Apparently, they hadn't been expecting to see her, either.

They paused, too, and then they smiled at the little awkwardness. Zoe ran into them to give them a big hug.

"Zoe?" Gran called her name.

Zoe sniffed. "I've missed you guys so much," she sobbed silently.

Pop smiled politely in welcome. "Well, Zoe, you've grown," he said. There was surprise in Zoe's face as she glanced at Gran and Pop.

Zoe nodded. "Gran, Pop, I'm glad to be back here."

"Welcome back, Zoe," Pop responded, embracing his granddaughter. Then he looked at her.

"What' s with the visit?" Gran noted, looking at Zoe. "You didn't even try to call us, so we prepared food."

"Nice question, Gran," Zoe commented. "Surprise!" Zoe jumped happily.

"You seem in a better mood," Pop noticed.

"Marginally," Zoe agreed in a flat voice. They glanced at Zoe's hard face, and wondered how her mood could have been darker before.

Gran chuckled. "What's the cause of going here?" she asked, skeptical.

Zoe only smiled, his expression contemptuous. Then she froze.

"Is it about someone _special?_" Gran said casually.

Zoe touched Gran's arm. "Technically yes—but—"

"I will be pleased to talk about that," Pop interrupted.

"Let's not talk about it," Zoe suggested.

Pop and Gran nodded once.

Pop and Gran, holding hands, led the way down yet another, wide, ornate hall.

They ignored the doors at the end of the hall—doors entirely sheathed gold—stopping halfway down the hall and sliding aside a piece of the paneling to expose a plane wooden door.

"Zoe, dear one, make yourself at home!" Pop cried in evident delight. His voice was just a soft sighing.

Zoe drifted forward, and the movement flowed with such surreal grace that she gawked, her mouth hanging open.

She was only astonished. She couldn't decided if she would act normal or properly. She supposed her grandparents' life were perfect here.

"How long are you staying here?" Gran asked after she ordered their maid to cook.

"I won't be staying here for long." Zoe smiled; the expression made her look like an angelic child. "Just checking if my grandparents are still okay, and her you are!"

"Ah, Zoe." Pop smiled, too. "We hope you could stay longer."

He turned his misty glittered, and the smile brightened—became ecstatic.

"You look just like you're Mom!" He rejoiced, clapping his hands together.

"This _is _a happy surprise! Wonderful!"

Zoe stared in shock, as if this is the first time Pop saw her.

Gran turned to their hulking escort. "Sometimes, Zoe could be really stubborn, I don't know where she gets it from."

"I'm sure you miss me," Zoe laughed.

"Why not?" Gran chuckled.

"You see, Gran?" Pop smiled like a scolding grandfather. "She could frame our daughter."

"Yes, Pop, I can," Zoe agreed, joking.

"I love a happy ending." Gran sighed. "They are so rare. I guess Pop and Gran's story is officially almost finally over." She turned to gaze at Pop with curious, misty eyes. "There were mistakes at the beginning, but, in the end, they were fixed by us only."

"Oh, I'm far from infallible." Pop flashed a dazzling smile. He looked perfectly ease. "Zoe," Gran asked. "What if you screw up, will you regret it or forget it?"

"Well, that doesn't make sense, Gran—of course, both of them," Zoe snorted.

"Regret is a better word than forget isn't it?" Gran questioned, folding her arms across her chest. "Why?" she grinned mysteriously. "Because all of us make mistakes. None of us is perfect. If we screw up, sometimes we regret it, sometimes we don't. We never forget it," Gran explained.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zoe asked. "I'm completely contented on what I am, who I am."

Gran and Pop sat on the couch while Zoe decided to stand while she talks.

"The reason you're here is because of a boy, isn't it?" Gran almost sang in her feathery voice.

Zoe drifted away. She paused where she was standing. Zoe snorted very quietly, and she looked at the picture of her mother, hanging on the wall, curious.

"You're quite interesting than we remembered," Pop said to Zoe.

Zoe realized, a second late, that she just looked like her mother, except for the hair.

Gran and Pop _look _interested.

Gran was shaking her head. "Would you like to share your love story to us?" Gran asked.

"I broke up with him, period." Zoe answered.

"Well, that's amazing," Pop said. "Absolutely amazing."

Zoe's expression was frustrated. "What's so amazing about that?"

Gran smiled. "So convenient," she repeated herself. Then she spoke to Zoe. "It means, this is just the beginning. It takes a quiet a bit to surprise you, we can assure you."

Zoe looked at Pop's alive face, and she didn't believe that. Her love story is already 'the end'.

"It's just so difficult to understand, even now," Zoe mused, staring at her mother's solo picture. "How did Mom fall in love with Dad?"

"It's not without effort," Pop answered calmly.

"But still—it was called love at first sight. You're father was her first and last love," Gran explained.

Zoe chuckled once without humor. "Where did they first meet?"

Pop was skeptical. "Your parents. Camp Annawanna. Catskill Mountains, 1984. Your father was nineteen and a star sports counselor. Your Mom was a CIT."

"People say she reminded them of Sissy Spacek," Gran commented. "What happened under that harvest noon that summer…that's the stuff of legend."

"Now that's a real love story," Zoe laughed. "Sometimes, I can smell their memories. I've felt anything like that myself…but I still don't believe in first love."

"Is this boy your first love?" Gran asked, her voice sarcastic now.

Zoe laughed again. "Ah, you don't wanna know."

"You remind me of your mother—only she was not o stubborn." Pop said.

"Your mother outshines me in many other ways as well," Gran added. "Just like you."

"I certainly never thought to see Mom bested for self-control of all things," Zoe agreed.

"Hardly." Pop sounded patient. As if he weren't tired of the preliminaries. It made her confident; she couldn't help but true to imagine what her grandparents expected would follow.

"We are gratified by your success," Pop amused. "Your memories with your Mother are quiet gift for us, though they astonish me exceedingly. I am surprised by how it…_pleases _me, your success in this unorthodox path you'd chosen. We expected that you wouldn't waste, weaken with time. Yet, somehow, I'm happy to be wrong."

Zoe didn't reply.

"But _your _restraint!" Gran sighed.

Zoe gazed back at her grandparent's admiration with no expression. She knew their faces well enough—time had not changed that—to guess at something seething beneath the surface. She fought to keep her breathing even.

"Just remembering how you appeal the boy…" Pop chuckled.

"I hope I didn't disturbed," Zoe reassured Gran and Pop. "But I am _so _curious, about one thing in particular." She eyed them with bright interest. "Why do unfortunate events happen to good people?" she asked, eagerly.

"Ask _her,_" Pop suggested in a flat voice.

"Things happen for a reason!"Gran exclaimed.

Their filmy eyes smiled down at Zoe's, and it was impossible to look away. They were mesmerizing in an odd, pleasant way.

Pop's face altered as Zoe watched. The confidence wavered and became first doubt, then incredulity before he calmed it into a friendly mask.

"So very interesting," he said.

Zoe's eyes flickered to Gran, and, though her face was composed.

Pop stood with a thoughtful expression. He was quiet for a moment, his eyes flickering between Zoe and Gran. Then abruptly, he shook his head.

"I'm starving," he said to himself. "I wonder if lunch is served…Gina, dear?"

Gina, the maid, smiled up happily to Pop. "Yes, sir?"

"I was wondering, my dear one, if the lunch is served."

Gina turned toward Zoe with a beatific smile.

"Almost done, sir," she answered.

Gran pulled Zoe's hand into the dining room. Following the maid.

Zoe smelled the delicious food. "Yummy!" Zoe shrieked, her voice echoing in the silence.

"Gina," Pop recalled her in a tranquil voice. Gina looked up quickly, still smiling with pleasure, her eyes questioning. As soon as Gina served the dishes, Zoe was still.

Pop inclined his head toward Zoe.

Zoe turned her smile in Pop's direction.

He didn't even meet her gaze. Zoe watched as her grandparents sat. Zoe smelled the fresh mushroom ravioli.

"Mom's favorite," Zoe whispered in a tight voice. As she spoke, she sat and they began scooping up ravioli and popped it in their mouth. Zoe's eyes met her grandparents. They looked relaxed into relief.

Zoe looked at Gina, too, and she no longer smiled. She glared at her, then went back to the kitchen.

Pop stared to laugh as Gina placed a plate of 'moon cakes' on the table.

"Moon cakes?" Zoe chuckled. "I haven't had moon cakes since Mom…died."

Zoe grabbed one piece of moon cake, then tossed it in.

"There's still plenty of moon cakes, Zoe," Gran said in a comforting tone. "You confounds us all."

"Ha, ha, ha," Pop chuckled.

"It tastes wonderful than I remembered!" Zoe hissed, grabbing another moon cake.

Gina left the room with her upper lip curled back over her teeth as she continued to glare at Zoe.

"Ha, ha, ha," Pop chortled again. "You're very childlike when you see a moon cake, Zoe." Zoe shook her head in admiration.

Gran glared.

"So what do you do after this?" Grab sighed.

Zoe stiffened. "I suppose attend the program. Have some adventures here in Bangkok. Relaxation." Zoe answered hopefully. "My journey would be an excellent story to Dad."

Pop hesitated.

Zoe seemed to with each word before she spoke it. "I'd…be…home…for…Christmas."

"Really?" Pop asked, still hopeful. "Would you perhaps be interested to study here instead?"

"No, thank you," Zoe said. "Besides, I'm in the senior year."

"Would you want to stay here for dinner?" Gran raised her eyebrows.

"What? It's not like I'm not coming home for Christmas," Zoe hissed; her voice, though no more than a whisper, was flat.

"Zoe, surely you see the potential here," Pop chided her affectionately. "It's going to be a long time since we won't see you again."

Zoe looked away with caustic expression. Zoe's eyes sparked with indignation at the comparison.

"No, thank you," Zoe spoke up in a barely than a whisper.

Gran sighed. "That's unfortunate."

"This is not the last time we'll see each other, won't it?" Zoe hissed.

The tone of her voice surprised them. She sounded irate, but there was something deliberate about her delivery—as if she'd chosen her words with great care.

"Of course not." Pop blinked, astonished.

"Gran," Zoe hissed. "If someone says sorry, how will you know that they mean it?"

Gran glared at Pop. "Actions speaks louder than words," she answered.

"What if I believe someone and do it again, should I give him another chance?" She demanded. Her voice was papery thin, just like her skin.

"Take your chances on the boy you're talking about," Pop reminded her, Zoe thought of the pretty moments Takuya and her had.

Zoe's face twisted into a new expression. Was it supposed to be a smile?

"Yes," Gran agreed. "But when he's no longer useful to you, he will serve to sustain you. That is not your plan your this one. If he betrays you _again_, are you prepared to leave him _again_? That is up to you but I hope not," she scoffed.

"I can do it—," she began, still whispering. Pop silenced her with an icy look.

"Therefore, he is vulnerability. Though, it is true, love will keep you alive. You may leave if you wish," Gran continued.

"That's what I thought," Zoe said, with something akin to pleasure.

"Unless…," Pop sighed. He looked happy with the way conversation had gone. "Unless you do intend to stay for a while."

Zoe pursed her lips, hesitating for a moment before she answered. "Well, a few minutes won't hurt.

Gran smiled happily. "Why, then make every second count here." Her expression turned more hesitant.

Zoe lips tightened into a fierce line. She stared into her empty plate, and stared back to her grandparents. She felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach.

"Is Mom's grand piano there?" Zoe asked.

"Yes. It's upstairs, second to the right," Pop answered.

And then Zoe stepped away from the dining room, forward to the upstairs. They turned to watch her. Zoe didn't say anything.

When Zoe opened the right door leading to the grand piano, her eyes wandered to the beautiful instrument. She remembered her childhood memory with her Mom, they were playing the grand piano together. They were both really good—they played for themselves during they have time and during special occasions—they loved to watch their hands play. They were happy, absorbed—they both seemed like a new, mysterious being to themselves then, someone outside the "mom and daughter" persona they took for granted.

Zoe rubbed the grand piano before she turned to the keys. And then her fingers run promptly across the ivory and the room was filled with a composition so intricate, so flourishing to believe only one set of hands played. And she began singing:

_Everybody needs inspiration  
Everybody needs a song  
A beautiful melody  
When the night's so long  
Cause there is no guarantee  
That this life is easy_

_Yeah, when my world is falling apart  
When there's no light to break up the dark  
That's when I, I, I look at you  
When the waves are flooding the shore and I  
Can't find my way home anymore  
That's when I, I, I look at you_

_You, appear, just like a dream to me__  
__Just like cyledoscope colors that__  
__Cover me__  
__All I need__  
__Every breath, that I breathe__  
__Dontcha know?__  
__Your eautiful __Yeah yeah.._

_When the waves are flooding the shore  
And I can't find my way home anymore  
That's when I,  
I I look at you  
I look at you_

_Yeah yeah..  
Oh oh..  
You appear just like a dream to me.._

The song she was almost done playing, Takuya's song, drifted to an end. The last note hovered poignantly in the silence.

She realized there were tears in her eyes. She dabbed at them. She laughed, taking herself away from the piano.


	21. Found

"Ha, ha, ha," Pop laughed, his head still bent forward. He looked up slowly, his eyes bright with excitement. "That was _fascinating!_"

Zoe smiled dryly. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"To see the things I've seen!" Gran shook her head in wonder.

"I'll be home for Christmas," he reminded them, voice calm.

"Yes, yes, its quiet determined. Certainly there's no problem."

Pop looked gladly happy—a feeling he seemed to share with Mrs. Orimoto.

"Pop," Zoe complained as she squeezed her grandparents into a one big happy tight hug.

"Dear Zoe," Pop smiled. "Do not fret. Think of the possibilities! We can always hope for the future. Imagine the joy young Zoe alone would bring to us…Besides, I'm so terribly curious to see how Zoe turns out!"

Gran seemed convinced. A million tiny decisions, Zoe's decisions and so many others', too—Takuya's—could alter her path, and with that, the future.

Terrified as Zoe was, she felt herself sinking down into depression, downing in it…

"Am I free to go now?" Zoe asked in an even voice.

"Yes, yes," Gran said pleasantly. "But please visit soon. It's been absolutely enthralling!"

"And we will visit you as well," Pop promised, his eyes suddenly half-closed like the heavy lidded gaze of a lizard. "To be sure that you follow through on your side. Were you, you would not delay too long. You offer the boy second chances."

Zoe's jaw clenched tight, but he nodded once.

Gran smirked, moving and interested.

Zoe groaned.

Gran smiled, amused.

"Hmm." Zoe's voice had a new edge to it. "In that case, perhaps I'd better leave sooner rather than later if I wanna catch the concert."

"Yes," Gran agreed. "That's a good idea. Accidents _do _happen. You might bump into _him._"

"Of course," Zoe agreed, while she cringed at the thought of waiting before she could leave.

"And here," Gran added. Gran came forward at once to Mrs. Orimoto's (Emily) solo picture, and handed it to Zoe. "Take this. A little remembrance here in our house."

Zoe chuckled, but broke off suddenly, putting the picture in her backpack. "Thank you, Gran."

"Goodbye, young Zoe," Gran said, her eyes bright as she stared in the same direction.

Zoe exited swiftly, her face hard. When she had walked outside, she could feel the tears beginning to pool in her eyes.

Zoe slapped herself, waking herself up. "I'm alright, I'm safe, I'm alright," she chanted herself again and again. She wiped her eyes.

A shuttle to the concert was just closing its doors a few feet behind her.

"Wait!" she called, running, waving at the driver. She jumped inside the cattle sliding into the seat behind the driver. "To the concert please."

Zoe sat back against the seat, folding their arms across their lap. The familiar city began to rush around her, but she didn't look out the windows.

The cars continued to edge forward, one car length at a time. The sun beamed down brilliantly, seeming already overhead.

The cars crept one by one toward the city. As Zoe's taxi got closer, she could see cars parked by the side of the road with people getting out walking the rest of the way. At first she thought it was just impatience—something Zoe could easily understand. But then they came around a switchback, and she easily could see the filled parking lot outside the city wall, the crowds of people walking through the gates. No one was being allowed to drive through.

Now that she was looking, and they were crawling slowly enough to see, she could tell that it was very windy. The people crowding toward the gate gripped their hats and tugged their hair out of their faces. The driver was near the front line. A man in a navy blue uniform was directing the flow of traffic, turning the cars away from the full lot. They U-turned and headed back to find a place beside the road. Then it was the driver's turn.

The guard came around the car, and tapped on the window angrily.

The driver rolled the window down half-way, and Zoe watched the guard do a double take when he saw the face behind the dark glass.

"I'm sorry, only tour buses allowed in the city today, sir," he said in English, with a heavy accent. He was apologetic, now, as if he wished he had better news for the strikingly beautiful Zoe.

"It's a private tour," the driver said, flashing in alluring smile. He reached his hand out of the window, into the sunlight. Zoe froze; he took the guard's hand, still rose from tapping her window, and pulled it into the car. He put something into the guard's palm, and folded his fingers around it.

The guard's face was dazed as he retrieved his hand and stared at the thick roll of money he now held.

"Is this a joke?" he mumbled.

The guard's smile was blinding. "Only if you think it's funny."

He looked at the driver, his eyes staring wide.

"My passenger's in a wee bit of a hurry," he hinted, still smiling.

The guard blinked twice, and then shoved the money inside his vest. He took a step away from the window and waved them on. None of the passing people seemed to notice the quiet exchange. The driver drove into the city, and they both sighed in relief.

"Thank you," Zoe whispered.

"Sure kid, no problem," the driver replied.

The street was very narrow. It was crowded, and the foot traffic slowed their progress.

Zoe was gripping the door handle, ready to throw herself into the street.

The driver drove in quick spurts and sudden stops, and the people in the crows shook their fists at them and said angry words that Zoe was glad she could understand. They turned onto a little path that couldn't have been meant for cars; shocked people had to squeeze into doorways as they scraped by. They found another street at the end. The crowd was thicker here than anywhere else. The driver stopped the car. Zoe had the door open before they were at a standstill.

Zoe threw four twenties beside her and pushed herself out of the car. Zoe closed her door behind her. She shoved heavy woman out of her way and ran flat out, head down.

The program and just began.

"Welcome to International Festival of Dance and Music! Are you ready to rock?" Someone sang from the stage from to the crowd.

Everybody cheered. There was no pathway, no crevice between the close pressed bodies. She pushed against them furiously, fighting the hands the shoved back. She heard exclamations of irritation and even pain as she battled her way through the front stage, but everything she heard is in Italian. The faces were a blur of anger and surprise. A blond woman scowled at her, a child down at her.

Zoe couldn't still see the band whose performing. The throng jostled her around her, spinning her the wrong direction to the front. She was fast, or she'd never keep her course straight. Though she shoved viciously against the crowd. She wasn't halfway across. She was going to make it. She was smart and fast human.

Zoe listened, above the angry exclamations, trying to hear the sound of discovery: the gasp, maybe the scream, as Paramore came into the stage.

And they started their performance.

There was no break in the crowd for shouting for joy—Zoe could see the band now. She pushed urgently toward the last step to the front, not realizing she bruised her shins from something she don't know.

The sweat sprayed all around her as she began jumping and shouting I love you's and woohoo's to the Paramore. Even in the sun, the wind was glacial and the wet made the cold actually painful for Zoe. But she can see the band clearly this time.

The crowd cried the band's name again and again. The children, covering their ears. And Zoe started screaming as they sang.

"I love you Hayley!" Zoe screamed, knowing it was useless. The crowd was too loud, and her voice was breathless with exertion. But she couldn't stop screaming.

_How can I decide what's right__  
__When you're clouding up my mind?__  
__I can't win__  
__You're losing sight__  
__All the time__  
__Not gonna ever own what's mine__  
__When you're always taking sides__  
__But you won't take away my pride__  
__No, not this time__  
__Not this time__  
__How did we get here?__  
__I used to know you so well__  
__How did we get here?__  
__Well, I think I know__  
__The truth is hiding in your eyes__  
__And it's hanging on your tongue__  
__Just boiling in my blood__  
__But you think that I can't see__  
__What kind of man that you are__  
__If you're a man at all__  
__Well, I will figure this one out__  
__On my own__  
__(I'm screaming, "I love you so")__  
__On my own__  
__(My thoughts you can't decode)___

_How did we get here?__  
__I used to know you so well, yeah__  
__How did we get here?__  
__Well, I think I know__  
__Do you see what we've done?__  
__We've gone and made such fools__  
__Of ourselves__  
__Do you see what we've done?__  
__We've gone and made such fools__  
__Of ourselves__  
__How did we get here?__  
__I used to know you so well, yeah__  
__How did we get here?__  
__Well, I used to know you so well__  
__I think I know__  
__I think I know__  
__There is something I see in you__  
__It might kill me__  
__I want it to be true_

Zoe was rasping out the band's name over and over again.

"First of all we wanna thank for all those who came here," the vocalist said. "Seriously, we didn't know more than hundreds of people would watch us, especially Italians," Hayley laughed. "Happy International Festival of Dance and Music people!" She screamed and the drums begin to beat.

After a few songs from the band, a lot of dancing numbers, after the program, Zoe had a hard time breaking through the crowd. She could see a bubble space ahead. She pushed urgently toward it.

She flung her leg over the edge through the knee-deep water. It sprayed all around her as she thrashed her way across the pool. But the fountain was very wide; it let her across the center of the square and them some in mere seconds. She didn't pause when she hit the far edge—she used the low wall as a springboard, throwing herself into the crowd.

They moved more readily for her now, avoiding the icy water that splattered from her dripping clothes a she ran.

A deep booming chime echoed the square.

She ran past a child in his mother's arms—his hair was almost white in the dazzling sunlight. A circle of tall men, called out warnings as she barreled through them.

On the other side of them men, there was a break in the throng, space between the sightseers who milled aimlessly around her. Her eyes searched the way out of the square. She couldn't see the street level—there were still too many people in the way.

She was hard to see now. Without the crowd to break the wind, it whipped at her face and burned her eyes.

A little family of four stood nearest to the alley's mouth. The two girls wore crimson dresses, with matching ribbons tying their dark hair back. The father wasn't all. It seemed like she could see someone she knew in the shadows, just over his shoulder. She hurtled toward them, and the littlest girl clamped her hands over her ears.

The older girl, just waist high on her mother, hugged her mother's leg and stared into the shadows behind them. As she watched, she tugged on her mother's elbow and pointed toward the darkness. She was close now to the exit.

The older girl giggled and said something to her mother, gesturing toward the shadows again impatiently.

She swerved around the father—he clutched the baby out of her way—and sprinted for the gloomy breach behind them.

"Koichi, Shinya?" She screamed, but her voice was lost in the roar of the chime.

She could see the boys in the shadow. And she could see that they could see her.

It was really them, no hallucination this time. And she realized that her delusions were more flawed than she'd realized; they never done her justice.

Koichi and Shinya stood, motionless as a statue, just a few feet from the mouth of alley. The rings underneath them deep purple, their arms relaxed at their sides, their palms turned forward. Their expression shock, like they were dreaming a nightmare.

She'd know they'd follow her—she ran to them, gasping and screaming, she could appreciate that. Koichi and Shinya began to run away.

"No!" She screamed. "Both of you, look at me!"

They weren't listening. Zoe tripped as she jumped out of the crowds. She tripped so hard. It knocked her breath out of her and snapped her head back.

Her emerald green eyes opened slowly. She sat up and looked down at herself with quiet surprise.

"Amazing," she muttered herself, her exquisite voice full of wonder, slightly amused. "I was right after all." She gasped, but her had no sound. "I have to move!"

She seemed bemused. Her hands brushed softly against her cheek. It was very strange, for she knew she was followed.

"I can't believe how quick it was. I felt this just before I took a very first step at the plane—they're very good," she mused herself, closing her eyes again. Her voice was like honey and velvet. _"Oh, when I get my hands on those boys, I swear to God they're going to regret following me_," she murmured. "I should find a place to check in," she went on. "So maybe this _is _hell. I don't care. I'll take it."

He rose swiftly and staggered to the window, pulling back the drapes.

It was almost dark outside. Five thirty, then. The room looked out on a deserted section of the freeway. It was slightly comforting to be able to pinpoint time and place.

Takuya's brow furrowed in confusion. Takuya looked down at himself.

"What was that?" Takuya asked politely.

"She's pretty and when she saw us! So we have to get out before she—"

"You lost her," Koji interrupted, his voice was calm and pleasant, on the surface.

"Please, don't be mad," Shinya begged.

"I don't think we'll be mad today. I would appreciate it very much, however, all we need is just luck," Takuya said.

"What are we going to do, now that we don't know where Zoe is?" Koji's smooth voice whispered menacingly.

"I believe all of us are tired." Takuya's voice was harder now. "All we need is to rest, guys. There's still tomorrow." He took a deep breath. "We ordered some food, it must be already in the front room."

Takuya went through the door into the living room of the hotel suite. He could hear a low buzz of voice coming from the TV. Koichi sat motionlessly at the desk in the corner, his eyes watching the news with glimmer of interest.

Shinya sat on the floor next to the coffee table, where a trays of food waited, and they began picking at it without noticing what they were eating.

Takuya perched on the arm of the sofa with the plate on his palm and stared blankly at the TV.

They ate slowly, watching, turning now and then to glance quickly at each other. They looked away from the screen, though commercials were playing now. Koji pushed the tray away, his stomach abruptly uneasy. Koji looked down at himself.

"What's wrong, Koji?" Shinya asked.

"Nothing's wrong." His eyes were wide, honest…and Shinya didn't trust him.

"What do we do now? Koichi questioned.

"We sleep then we'll plan tomorrow," Takuya announced.

Koji flitted to the door.

"Where are you going?" Takuya's voice quavered, and he fought to control it.

"I'll be right back," His voice was too even, and the air was harder to breath.

Shinya was suddenly beside Takuya, closer to him than usual. Then Koji shut the door behind him. Then Koji proceed to the lobby, sitting on the sofa.

"Dad," said a suspiciously soothing voice. "You have nothing to worry about. I am completely safe."

Koji snapped his head and what he heard was Zoe.

"Dad, Dad, stop," she interrupted on the phone, her words pouring out so quickly there were hard to understand. "You're worrying about all the wrong things, Dad. Trust me on this—I'm not in jeopardy. You are under too much strain as it is; don't add to it with whole unnecessary worries. Listen to me!" she ordered. "I'm strong. Dad, I'm not a kid anymore." Zoe touched her cheek with her cold fingers. "Calm down, Dad," she said in her most soothing voice, walking slowly closer to Koji without noticing it was him.

Koji pretended to be reading a magazine. Zoe sat on the sofa beside Koji.

"Everything is fine, okay? I'll be home soon, I promise. Bye." Nathan hung up. Zoe sighed.

Koji sneezed in a soothing tone.

"Bless you," Zoe sniffed.

"Sorry," Koji muttered and stood, shoving the magazine onto his face and run quickly out of the lobby.

"Koji?" Zoe followed him. "Come back here," Zoe ordered. "I'll be right behind you if you keep running," Zoe said dryly. "Koji, why don't you stop and enjoy our incoming conservation?"

"I don't think so." Koji mouthed the words. The pretense of civility disappeared. _"I gotta find a way!" _he thought loudly.

"Koji," Zoe called over, more reasonable cautioned. "We couldn't run forever." Zoe said. "I would simply like to speak with you, if you have decided not to force my hand after all."

Takuya, Koichi and Shinya stayed in the room. Takuya called down to the front desk and asked them to ignore their maid service for now. The windows stayed open, the TV on, though no one watched it. At regular intervals, food was delivered for them, they left one tray for Koji. The silver phone resting on Takuya's bag seemed to grow bigger as the hours passed.

As Takuya occupied himself with memorizing the room; the striped pattern couches, tan, peach, cream, dull gold, and tan again. Sometimes he stared at the abstract prints, randomly finding pictures in the shapes, like he'd found pictures in the clouds as a child. He traced a blue hand, a woman combing her hair, a cat stretching, he looked away.

"What's taking Koji so long?" Takuya breaking the silence.

The door slammed open and shut just when Koji got in.

"Where have you been?" Koichi asked.

"We thought something had happened to you," Shinya scolded. "

"Something _did _happen to me," Koji almost shouted. "She's here. She's in this hotel."

"Then why are you gasping for air?" Koichi questioned his twin.

"Because she saw me…she ran after me…we ran for non-stop fifteen minutes!" Koji snapped his finger to Koichi. "Non-stop fifteen minutes!" he repeated. "And boy, Takuya, why didn't you tell me she's a cheetah? She's a road runner!" Koji let himself fell into the sofa.

"This just keeps getting better and better," Takuya muttered.

As the evening wore on, he went back to bed, simply for something to do. He hoped that by himself in the dark, he could five in to the terrible fears that hovered edge of his consciousness.

But the others followed Takuya in bed casually, as if by some coincidence they had grown tired of the front room at the same time. Takuya was beginning to wonder exactly what sort of instructions he will give to his friends. He lay across the bed, followed by his friends. He ignored his friends at first, suddenly tired enough to sleep. But after a few minutes, he gave up on the idea of sleep quickly then.

"Takuya?" Koichi asked.

"What?"

Koichi kept his voice very calm. "What did you do in Zoe's grandparent's house?"

"Oh yeah, you never told us about what happened about that," Shinya noted.

"I wanted to be known by her grandparents, you know, them getting know me, like next time they see me, we're close," Takuya explained.

"Her grandparents were nice, but they're a mind reader," Koji interrupted.

"Huh?" Koichi was confused.

"What I mean was…how could I explain this?" Koji scratched his head.

"Just spill it out!" Shinya snapped.

"They give us advice…which we're not asking for it…which relates to our life, our interests, our likes, dislike, etc!"

"Yikes! That is scary," Koichi commented.

"No it's not…it comes very handy," Shinya fought. "Any comment big brother?" Takuya didn't answer.

"Earth to Takuya!" Koji snapped.

Takuya snapped to reality. "Huh?"

"What's in his head?" Koichi questioned Koji.

"_His _song," Koji pointed out.

"Song? What song?" Shinya raised an eyebrow.

Koji sighed. "Zoe composed a song that _was _meant for Takuya. She played it while ago and Igotta admit, it was pretty good. It really pinned my heart," he explained.

"I think Zoe must be going back in Shibuya. I expect she'll stick to her plan," Takuya hoped.

"You know what's I'm afraid?" Koji announced. "Is that she's going to _be _the one looking for us now!" he emphasized. "And I'm sure it won't be pretty."

"Oh c'mon, she won't be that dangerous to us," Koichi chuckled.

"Don't worry, if she goes crazy, big brother will calm her down, won't you?"

"I don't know. I'm pretty much scared of her." Takuya's voice was earnest.

They deliberated for a moment, and decided Takuya meant it.

"Tell us then…what did her grandparents told you?" Koichi asked.

His question caught Takuya and Koji caught off guard. They were both quiet. Takuya rolled over to look at Koichi and Shinya, and Koji's expression seemed ambivalent.

"We don't want to tell you that," Takuya said firmly, but Koichi and Shinya sense Takuya and Koji didn't agree.

"That's not fair," Koichi pouted.

"I think we have the right to know." Shinya folded his arms across his chest.

"We know," Koji bit his lip.

They looked at each other, waiting.

Takuya sighed. "It's our business. This is between you, and you and you and I." Koichi noted.

"Big brother, as a brother, Koji, as a friend, we're begging you." And they were related.

Takuya looked at them with his splendid, wise eyes…choosing.

"We'll tell you the mechanics of it," Koji said finally, "we can only tell you the theory."

Their brothers waited.

"You go first, Takuya," Koji ordered.


	22. Confidence

Takuya and Koji told them when they were at Zoe's grandparents, they remembered it all—every words that her grandparents had said to them while ago, even the part before they introduce themselves, they were listening to Zoe's composition. Especially Zoe's voice of singing:

_You appear just like a dream to me_

_After Zoe sang the last words, she left the room._

"_Will you stay still, Koji?" Takuya yelled after him hoarsely, but he had already lost his balance._

_It was a good fall. Minutes after, Zoe had left the house. Takuya and Koji were hyperventilating. They dragged themselves behind the door, and before they knocked on the door. It didn't make them feel better._

"_Please, come in!" Gran spoke._

_Gran and Pop were expecting Takuya and Koji. They exhaled sharply before they entered the house. Zoe—Takuya clutched automatically at his chest. Gran and Pop were sitting on the couch around the corner, waiting. The boys were nervous! Takuya felt like he might be about to throw up. A sharp clap made Takuya and Koji yelp in terror. Their fingers were trembling, grateful._

"_You're not scared of us, are you?" Pop asked as he stood up._

"_I'm Takuya Kanbara, this is my best friend, Koji Minamoto," Takuya introduced. _

"_You must be Zoe's ex-boyfriend. You must be keeping a special eye on Zoe—that we should trust you and your friends to keep our granddaughter safe," Gran smiled._

"_No. We're just following her so that Takuya could speak to her one last time," Koji corrected._

"_But you you'll take care of her—we know Takuya won't let anything happen to Zoe, aren't that right, Takuya?" Pop smiled._

"_I'll take care of her," Takuya promised._

"_The idea of you finding Zoe is scarier than the idea of her finding you," Gran whispered. _

_Takuya and Koji laughed. "You've got to have a little confidence in us than that," Koji snorted._

"_It's insulting," Takuya commented._

"_Please, take a sit," Pop requested._

_Takuya and Koji sat on the other sofa._

_Gran and Pop shook their head. _

"_Are you here to be close friends with us so there's a possibility Zoe could change her mind?" Gran asked._

_Takuya and Koji pursed their lips, and said nothing._

"_What? Is it a secret?" Pop questioned._

_Takuya frowned. "Not really. It's kind of weird, though. We don't want to disrespect you and your granddaughter."_

"_We're sort of used to weird by this point, you," Pop tried to smile without much success._

_The boys grinned back easily. "Guess you'd have to be. Okay. See, you're right, we're here…to be close to you," Koji admitted._

_The oldies' eyebrows pulled down in confusion._

"_I really feel guilty about what happened to Zoe and me," Takuya went on, "But I didn't…mean to—I never stop thinking about her—no matter how far away from each other we are. Even though she told me that she doesn't love me anymore. It's embarrassing—having no secrets like that. Freaky, eh?"_

"_Is that what you though, when you said Zoe's not in love with you anymore, even though you didn't want to?" Gran asked._

"_You're quick," Koji commented._

"_Even though Zoe didn't tell us about that, we know," Pop replied._

"_You're also very good with weird. I thought that would bother you," Koji commented._

"_It's not…well, Takuya's not the first person we've known who could be like this. So it doesn't seem so weird to us," Gran chuckled._

"_Really?...Wait—are you talking about that Zoe still loves me?"_

"_We wish she could give you one more chance," Pop hoped._

_Koji laughed. "Whatever. Second chances, then?" _

"_If she forgives you but didn't love you like the way before…then you'll have to accept." Gran pulled one arm surreptitiously around her torso._

_Takuya and Koji looked surprised—unpleasantly so. "I love her just the way she is. I've never done this kind of stuff before…weir— I hope this something worth it."_

"_There's always something," Pop said wryly._

_Koji scowled. "What if there's nothing this time?"_

_Gran stood and headed in front of the boys._

"_That depends on what you're looking for," Gran answered curiously._

_Koji nodded, seeming embarrassed. "Got to be real—I tried not to think about Zoe so you wouldn't know what was going on. I was afraid you would be mad," Takuya confessed._

"_Would that stop you?" Pop's teeth clenched when he heard that._

"_Well, it would have stopped me," Takuya said, morose now. _

"_Remember that you're a good person," Gran noted._

"_Yeah. He doesn't sometimes know how," Koji joked._

_Pop and Gran chuckled darkly. "Close enough. You could tell us when there something you need," Pop insisted._

"_You're…always welcome here, you know. We really mean it—well, you can't just ignore our invitation," Gran muttered._

"_Weird," Koji mumbled._

"_Very," Pop agreed. "It's kind of our thing."_

"_Huh" was the best response Takuya and Koji could think of._

"_Yeah, there's a lot of stuff you have to learn—things like that. You're still learning. I can't imagine what it was like for Zoe, trying to deal with this alone. She feels betrayed," Gran explained._

"_Zoe feels alone, betrayed?" Takuya muttered._

"_Yeah." Pop's voice lowered. "When she got here…she was sad, it was the most…horrible, the most terrifying thing we've ever saw—worse than anything we could have imagined. But we know she wasn't alone—she's got you, even in her head, telling her that she shouldn't have let you go, shouldn't have left you…" _

_Gran shook her head. "Zoe needs your help."_

_This was going to take some adjusting. When Pop and Gran explained it like that, it was hard to feel compassion for her grandparents. Takuya had to keep reminding himself that Zoe really needs a friend right now. _

"_What if she'll be angry when she saw us?" Koji asked._

_Gran made a face. "Probably you'll have to take it."_

"_Take it or leave it then?" Takuya smirked._

"_The reason we're so angry to someone is because we love someone so much," Gran assured Takuya. "You know a ton of things that can help Zoe. It's not like you're just some ignorant human. You're like a…I don't know, spy or something. You've been behind enemy lines."_

_Takuya frowned to himself. He wasn't a spy, though. He hadn't been collecting that kind of information. Already, his words made her feel like a traitor._

_He did want Zoe to forgive him, preferably before she tortured him to death. _

"_Zoe cares about you," Pop continued, oblivious to Takuya's reverie. "You need to be there for her. It makes everything more complicated. Hey, you'll pass this problem."_

"_I hope so," Takuya hesitated, and then sighed. He squeezed his midsection, trying to ignore the throbbing around the edges of his chest. _

"_How do you know things like this so well? Sometimes it's like you can read minds," Koji raised his eyebrows._

"_Naw. We just pay attention," Pop chuckled._

"_This good?" Takuya asked._

"_Sure, sure," Gran replied._

"_You're still unhappy, aren't you?" Pop murmured to Takuya._

_Takuya nodded, staring unseeingly into the gloomy solo picture of Zoe when she was a kid. Takuya grabbed the picture and smiled. _

"_Did you ever think…that maybe…you two are destined to be together?" Gran sighed._

_Takuya inhaled slowly, and then let his breath out. "No."_

"'_Cause she wasn't the best—"_

"_Please, Koji," Takuya interrupted, begging in a whisper. "Could we please not talk about this? I can't stand it."_

"_Okay." He took a deep breath. "We're sorry we passed by or anything."_

"_Don't feel bad. If things were different, it would be nice to finally be able to talk to someone about it," Pop insisted._

_Takuya and Koji nodded. "Yeah, we had a hard all the way here for Zoe. It must be hell to not be able to talk to anyone."_

"_Hell," Gran agreed._

_Takuya sucked in a sharp breath. "We gotta go."_

"_Are you sure?" Gran asked. "Well, feel free to come here anytime."_

"_Thank you very much," Koji said, and then the boys grinned. _

"_You're very welcome to come in our house," Pop insisted. "And Koji…"_

"_Yes, sir?" Koji snapped his head. _

"_Just a tip—sometimes you have to be strong to admit that you're weak."_

"_Ha ha," Takuya said. _

The gang was very still, remembering pointedly Takuya and Koji had demonstrated what they did at Zoe's grandparents.

Koichi and Shinya laughed a wide, ominous laugh.

"Why? What's so funny?" Koji asked, his teeth dull. "I'm not weak—it's merely incapacitating. I work. Mostly superfluous, as I said. I have a lot of close friends. Of course, there are always exceptions."

"So…he's being defensive, eh?" Koichi murmured.

"Enough with Koji, its big brother's turn," Shinya snapped. "First the song…and now this?"

Takuya shivered.

"I hope tomorrow's more pleasant than this," Koji said.

"Her grandparents gave me confidence, really…I don't quite understand why," Takuya said.

"I remember how Takuya looked at Zoe's picture when she was a kid," Koji blurted.

"It was involuntary." Takuya's voice was wistful.

They slept silently, wrapped in their individual blankets.

The hours ticked by, and they had almost forgotten to wake up, they were so enveloped in their dreams and thoughts.

Then, without any warning, Takuya leaped from the bed, landing lightly on his feet. Koji's head jerked up as Koichi stared at the door, Shinya was startled when as someone was knocking on the door.

Takuya looked at the clock, its seven o'clock in the morning then.

"Did somebody order room service?" Takuya's voice was urgent, and he walked right to the door.

Takuya reached the door at the same time Koji went into the living room. As Takuya opened the door, Zoe has obviously slapped him across his face.

"So you were following me?" she asked intently, staring into Takuya's brown eyes. Her eyes were focused on something very far away.

"Zoe." Koji pulled Zoe in the room and kicked the door closed.

"Koji!" she gasped in the tiny, fragile voice. "Koji, you promised! Why? Why did you break your word?"

A dim collection of misery and pain touched her. Zoe had felt such agony again. It shied away from the sting.

"Even an honest man sometimes caves to duress, Zoe," Koji replied.

Zoe groaned. "Can't you people understand the word alone?" Zoe's shout was deafening, echoing at the room from all sides.

"Ah—Zoe?" Takuya murmured. "Maybe you should…"

"Shut up!"

Takuya's voice got closer, and the floor grated as Takuya tried to follow her into the small space. "Will you just calm down for a sec—"

Everybody heard something scrape the floor as Zoe moved, and then a thud. Takuya cursed. Takuya was no longer visible and Zoe had her back on Koji.

Takuya spit and groaned. "That's twice," he growled, he understood that the slap was meant for him.

"I'm ready to go for three," Zoe muttered.

"Hey, no fighting!" Shinya jumped into the conversation.

"Could we just work this out?" Koichi sat on the couch.

"I see. So you're all in this together?" Zoe chuckled. "Let me see…one. Two. Three. Four." She counted. "Four boys over one girl, how rude," Zoe made a face.

"Would you give us a minute to explain?" Koji put his hands on her shoulders and guided her to the sofa, sitting her on the edge.

"I don't know. Something is missing—JP."

"This is no time for joking," he snapped.

"Okay. Explain what?" Zoe slapped Koji's hands from her shoulders. "You're all liars. You know how I hate liars."

"To clear this up," Takuya cleared his throat. "We never know that you're checked in here."

"Well, that's a relief," Zoe laughed. "Okay. Forget it." She reached for the door. "Do what you want I don't care anymore." Then she was gone.

"Does this mean we're leaving?" Shinya broke the silence.

"Nope…not yet," Takuya answered. "It's too soon. I'm not done yet. Get dressed. Wherever she's going, that's where we're going."

Zoe punched the wall with her hand when she walked into her room.

Her voice was angry, clumsy, as she cursed in a practiced way. "Stupid, son of a jackal!" she grabbed a pillow and shout everything with it. "I should've known…no, I won't let them ruin my six days in Thailand—it's like I would never know they're following me."

"Can you see where she is?" Takuya asked when they walked in the lobby.

"Nope," Koji replied.

Zoe shoved Takuya out of her way in purpose. "Oh, sorry. Didn't see you there," then she skipped out of the hotel.

"Where else is she going?" Koichi hissed.

"Seems like she doesn't mind anymore," Shinya's eyes drifted, then focused on Takuya's face.

"C'mon," Takuya and the rest of the band followed Zoe on the bus.

Zoe shook her head. Takuya sat beside Zoe, while the rest at the back. Zoe didn't look at Takuya, motionless while reading a book.

"You can't be like that forever, can you?" Takuya asked.

Zoe didn't answer, then Takuya looked at her.

"Why do you have to be so mean?" Takuya whined. "Don't act as if I'd never existed," he begged. "Well, at least talk to me."

Zoe chuckled for a moment. "You enjoy doing this, aren't you?" Zoe smirked then plug her headphones through her ears. "You think I'll give up on you," Takuya laughed as well. "Over. My. Dead. Body."

Zoe could hear him but she continued ignoring him. "You hear me?" Takuya pulled Zoe's earphones from her ears.

Zoe pinched Takuya's ears in no time without looking at him. "Okay. I won't do it again," Takuya begged then Zoe let go of his ears then smiled. Takuya looked at his friends, they were laughing and giving claps at each other.


	23. Spoken or Written

**Here's another chapter of I am Your Life. I hope you enjoy my melodramatic chapter, whahaha! **

And the phone rang.

Takuya pushed the button and held his cell phone to his ear, but he didn't speak first.

"Koji," Takuya breathed. He didn't seem surprise or relieved, the way he felt.

"No," he said, glancing at the back. He listened for a long moment.

"She's ignoring me." He described Zoe. "Whatever made her like this...I'll have to deal with it." He paused. "Yes," he said into the phone, and then he spoke to Koichi.

"Hello?" Koichi breathed

"Koichi," Takuya said.

"Oh, Takuya! We're on a mini tour bus."

"We are?" he sighed in frustration, "We're a few inches apart and you're calling me on the phone?" Takuya realized only now.

The phone went dead; the cloud of depression began to creep over him again.

"Where are we exactly going?" Takuya asked. Zoe was so unbelievable good to hear his voice. She felt the hovering of despair lighten and drift back as he spoke.

"Where. Are. We. Going."

Zoe sighed. "First, we're going to River Kwai Jungle, then to Floating Market, then to Crocodile Farm, and last but not the least, Rose Garden." Takuya heard Zoe's quick words blurring together into a humming noise.

"It's really good to hear you talk."

"I had enough of ignoring you."

"You mean you forgive me?"

"No."

"Then why aren't you ignoring me?"

"Because you're unanswered questions are getting on my nerves and seeing you begging for thirty minutes makes my day."

"That'll be fine."

"Yes—so shut up. Follow me if you want but if that gets on my nerves, you'll be sorry."

"What do I have to do for you to forgive me?"

Before Zoe could answer the tour guide stood, her face eager. The girl looked happy more than anything. She flipped a strand of short black hair behind one ear and smiled with needless warmness.

"Hello. My name is Brandy, and I'll be your tour guide today," she greeted. "River Kwai Jungle Rafts Kanchanaburi Ratchaprarop rd Makkasan, Rajthevee Bangkok Thailand. The River Kwai Jungle Rafts is situated on the River Kwai Noi, Kanchanaburi Only 190 kilometers from Bangkok by road and another 40 minutes by boat only accessible by boat. The River Kwai Jungle Rafts have a little piece of paradise to offer you in the heart of the jungle, and visit to this floater."

The shadows of the palm trees slanted across the freeway—defined, sharper than Zoe remembered, paler than they should be. Nothing could hide in these shadows. The bright, open freeway seemed benign enough.

"Are you open for new experiences together that will make you never forget?" Brandy had asked, and everybody flinched, though her voice was quiet exciting and alarming. It was the second sound, beside the purr bus.

Everybody cheered automatically.

Though, Zoe didn't have a vague expression of leaving the bus—the sun was just rising behind the horizon. She brought out her camera to take a few pictures of the Jungle.

"**Welcome to River Kwai Jungle Rafts Kanchanaburi. The floating rafts in the Riverwai Resort, stream of the history of Thailand. And maintaining the integrity of natural best. You will experience the true nature on the floating rafts and also the international standard accommodation. We are confident that you will not feel insecure. Here do not need electricity. But you will feel comfortable if you were among rivers and forests. ** "**River Kwai Jungle Rafts is an ideal destination for everyone who seeks not only a magical place to getaway to but also a legend to be experienced. Your visit will be rewarded with a life-long memorable experience that once you have ever been overnight on the historic River Kwai," Brandy explained before they move on. "This time, we'll take a boat through the streams," she said as they slowly walked to the dock. ** **The ten people, filed on the good for twelve people motorboat. As the boat roared into life, they started to drift away from the land.** "**The magnificent close-to-nature floating lodge founded in 1976 on the historic River Kwai, in Kanchanaburi, Thailand. You will enjoy not only the stunning nature surroundings of tropical forest, but also a unique blend of the culture and tradition of Mon people, and the history of World War II. It has been over 31 years that they serve all discerning travelers with friendliness and hearty service making our Jungle Rafts distinct from the others," she continued explaining. "The magical settings, the simple yet awesome services have already gained the reputation of becoming the outstanding housing raft in Kanchanaburi in Thailand. Resembling a floating home, Jungle Rafts can be defined as simply marvelous. Resembling nothing less than paradise, the room facilities at Jungle Rafts gives you a taste of living in style even in the midst of Nature. The legendary River Kwai in Kanchanaburi is undoubtedly the perfect place to be the location of Jungle Rafts where you can thoroughly enjoy the magic of nature."** "**Well this is unusual," Koji's coarse voice boomed.** "**So medieval," an unpleasantly shrill, Koichi's voice gushed back.** **A few people snap pictures of the floating cabins.**

Brandy took a deep sigh. "Getting to this magical place is half the fun. An exhilarating forty-minute boat trip from Pakseng pier or fifteen-minute from Resotel pier through spectacular gorges, beckoning beaches and clusters of brilliantly colored birds, delight the senses as one ventures deeper into the wild of the jungle.

"As for their concept of original floating hotel, instead of using electricity, we conserve the natural ambience with our Jungle Rafts concept by using lamp for lighting your room," she continued.

And they passed a floating Restaurant. "Dine under the clear blue sky and see the river flowing in its own pace. Enjoy this unique dining experience at Jungle Rafts. Wooden table and chairs make for the perfect decor and you can begin your day with a hot American Breakfast. As the day goes, enjoy a sumptuous lunch and a lovely dinner consisting of Thai specialties.

"Serving sumptuous American breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring Western delicacies and Thai specialties, round the clock, the restaurant overlooking the river is fine for open air dining. The sitting arrangements comprise of wooden furniture's which even unfinished lends it a natural look."

Zoe raised her hand for asking a question. "Would there be Facilities and Services?"

"Of course," Brandy responded in a silky voice, her eyes flickering between Zoe's face and Takuya. "They surely serve their guests with unforgettable experience during their stay with truly, touchy, and unique natural environment along with friendly services."

"They guarantee our guests that they would feel, touch, and enjoy gorgeously enrich-green natural surrounding than they would ever be. Like what we're having now, a boat trip. You could also have a _Thai Traditional Massage._

"For recreation, guests do not need to leave the premises as there are plenty of activities available. Guests can try out canoeing and pay a visit to the nearby cave and beautiful waterfalls or explore the jungle on an elephant back. Being situated on the shores of the legendary river, guests can enjoy a swim in the river. Enjoy the tribal Mon Folk dances in the evening or go for a pampering massage session.

"Apart from enjoying the nature walks, trekking, mountain biking, canoeing down the river and discovering the beauty of the waterfalls, flora and fauna and paying a visit to the Mon Villages, guests can have a great time at the Jungle Rafts enjoying the live orchestra of authentic traditional Mon Dance, a very rare performance that hardly find elsewhere today.

"But of course, we are only here seven-thirty until nine-thirty," a few people cried an aw's. "Don't worry, guys, we will have an _Elephant Riding._"

While they're riding on an elephant, Takuya and the rest of his friends weren't quite listening to the tour guider's explanation.

"This is your chance to make a move," Koji hissed.

"I know," Takuya replied.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Koichi questioned.

"Christmas?" Shinya added.

"Look, I know what I'm doing," Takuya snapped. "She'll talk to me somehow, maybe not now."

"Maybe. Just maybe." Koji repeated.

"If you don't do something quick nothing's gonna happen now that we've got Zoe cornered," Koichi reminded him.

"As you can see boys," Zoe interrupted without looked at them. "I can hear you. So keep it down a little."

Takuya bit his lip and continued their conversation silently. "I know guys. Believe me, I know what I'm doing. It's like you don't know me."

"Come and get her, then," Shinya challenged.

"Soon, as soon as I possibly can. I _will _have to give her some time." His voice as hard.

"Could you believe that, I can still hear you, quieter please?" Zoe laughed to herself.

"Yes, Ma'am," the boys answered in unison.

"She has a strong sense of hearing," Koji commented.

"Keep talking Koji!" Zoe shouted from her back.

"You know, your _ex_-girlfriend could be sometimes pretty annoying when she does that!" Koji obeyed Zoe's order.

They got to the Floating Market after three any half hours. Luck was with Zoe, or maybe it was just good odds. Floating Market was all Zoe need: the biggest, the most confusing.

"Okay, we'll meet exactly at eleven o'clock , okay?" Brandy announced then her tourists were gone.

Zoe led the way, for once more knowledgeable about her surroundings than the boys were. She took the stairs down to the floating market. Zoe spent a long time looking at the souvenirs. Zoe could hear the boys discussing.

She waited for the opportunity, impatient, unable to stop her toe from tapping. She sat in the long rows of chairs, Takuya and his friends pretending to people-watch but really watching her. Every inch Zoe shifted was followed by q quick glance out of the corner of their eyes. It was hopeless. Should she run? Would they dare to stop her physically in this public place? Or would they simply follow her?

The minutes passed. It was amazing how very cell in her body seemed to know Takuya was coming. That made it very hard. She found herself trying to think excuses to stay, to talk to Takuya first then make her escape. But she knew it was impossible if she was going to have any chance to get away.

Several times Takuya offered a subject to talk about. Later, she told him, not yet.

She stared at the sky, watching the people selling fruits, vegetables, etc. from a small boat, the excellent quality of soil beside the canal is very fertile and suitable for growing many kinds of fruits and vegetables. The area is famous for Malacca grape, Chinese grapefruit, mangoes, bananas, and coconut. Thai style canoes laden with colorful, succulent fruits, vegetables, sweets and meats, gently ply their way through the canal.

"Thailand, is a famous tourist attraction, isn't it?" Takuya said quickly.

"Yeah, sure, of course," Zoe replied.

"Do you mind if we ride on the boat?" Koichi asked.

"Yeah, we're feeling a little…bored." Shinya finished the sentence. Zoe's eyes were wild enough to convey what Shinya said.

Zoe eyes were confused, but—Takuya saw her relief—but she agreed.

They walked silently to the colorful wooden boat, Zoe's camera still on her hand, as if she never wanted to let go of it. She pretended a lack of interest in the first few offering tasty local procedure., her head scanning for what she really wanted.

"So if Thailand's so great, why are you living in Shibuya?" Takuya asked as they passed a few markets.

"Good question," Zoe pointed. "I should've stayed with my grandparents, I shouldn't have joined my parents so I wouldn't met a stinking scum like you," she explained. "Point taken?"

"Oooh…" the boys except for Takuya boomed.

"Then why did you declined your grandparent's offer?" Takuya questioned.

"One, because I'm almost graduating. Two, it's none of your business. And three, don't I ever get a privacy?" she groaned. "Don't worry, when I graduated, I'll make sure you'll never see me again!"

"Ouch!" Koji, Koichi and Shinya muttered.

Takuya and Zoe stared eyed them irritatingly.

"Okay, we'll shut up," Shinya promised.

The gang got to Crocodile Farm, the gang ran to the caged Tiger.

"Whoa." Shinya exclaimed.

"This is the first time you saw a tiger?" Zoe asked.

"Nope…is just been a while," Shinya said. Zoe nodded, taking a few snaps of the tiger with her camera.

As soon as she's done taking pictures of the tiger, she was walking to the Food Court. The boys followed her, as usually.

After they had their lunch, Zoe takes a look at her pictures in her camera.

"Zoe," Koji called. "Would you—"

"I forgive all of you except for Takuya," Zoe interrupted without looking at them.

"Just my friends, and my little brother? Oh c'mon Zoe , now you're being unfair." Takuya eyes drifted, then focused on Zoe.

"Good…now shut up," Takuya didn't answer. Zoe stood. "Don't you wanna see a Crocodile measuring six meters (19 feet, 8 inches) and weighing 1114.27 kilograms (2465 pounds)?" Zoe challenged.

"Don't lose your temper, big brother?" Shinya reminded him as they followed Zoe.

Takuya looked at his hands, surprised.

As the gang explore the crocodile farm they saw a wide variety of animals other than crocodiles, including elephants, lions, tigers, monkeys, horses, and hippos. There were frequent crocodile shows, famous for the performers putting their heads inside a crocodile's mouth. Elephant shows display the dexterity of elephants as they walk tightropes, ride skateboards, and dance. They also explore the dinosaur museum.

At Rose Garden, Zoe stayed outside the arena while Koji, Koichi and Shinya running inside the arena.

"Aren't you coming with us?" Takuya's voice sounded calm, but there was an undercurrent of something Zoe couldn't identify.

"It looks like the resort also offers a number of cultural shows including handicraft skills, Thai boxing, and sword fighting—Aren't you coming with them?"

Takuya and Zoe stared at each other.

"Are you sure you're not coming?" Takuya asked, still calm.

"No, not at all—I suppose you're not coming—your friends are giving us a time alone." She replied as she walked away. "Would you have any more reason to follow me?" Zoe asked, breaking Zoe's reverie.

Takuya ran beside her. "No, I was alone for ten years. I was a terrible person," Takuya admitted.

"So there's no way you're gonna leave me alone?" Zoe asked intently.

"No, I don't even think you don't care. I'm sure you don't care."

"Of course I care, you think I liked to be followed?" Zoe asked in a casual voice.

"How come your forgive them?" Takuya said, his voice trailing off. He didn't miss the look Zoe gave her.

"Why don't you ask yourself I didn't forgive you," her voice was still casual.

"Yes," Takuya whispered. "Just asking."

They all went to the garden in silence, staring to the flowers. The site comprises 75 acres of perfectly manicured grounds with a lake as a central feature.

"Zoe, are you ever gonna talk to me?"

"What kind of a question is that? We're already talking," she reassured him. She focused her camera to the Rose and there were a snap. "What makes you think I'd forgive you?"

"Just hoping that you will."

"I thought so."

"You are—but you're not going home, are you?" His voice trembled.

"I—I thought about that while ago," she said. "I won't let you ruin my six days."

"We're not here to ruin your vacation—I'm wanted to talk to you."

"Talk?" she asked.

He thought about it. "I don't think there's any way it could hurt—"

"Takuya," she interrupted. "We've already talked. Listen, do you think I'm stupid that I wouldn't find out that you're following me?" Zoe shoved him.

"No, of course not," he quickly answered. "Well, I wished you didn't," he told himself.

"Then why can't you let me go?" she made a face.

"Maybe I'm not ready."

"I broke up with you even though I'm not ready."

"I'm not as brave as you."

"I'm not coward as you."

"Why do you have to be so mean?" he asked her quietly.

"Why are you acting like a jerk?"

"I asked you first."

"It's none of your business."

"Then mind your own business."

Zoe groaned and ignored him. Zoe settled into the bridge. She thought about calling Nathan, but she wasn't sure if she should be home by now or not. She concentrated on her vacation, watching the birds singing, or about to fly—watching a butterfly circling her—anything that made her forget him.

Neither Takuya nor Zoe seemed to feel the need to do anything at all.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," Takuya finally said.

Zoe sniffed and faced him. "Yes. I am mean, rude and stubborn, but that's what I am, you've got a problem with that?"

Takuya watched Zoe's burning emerald eyes.

"Are you happy now?" she whispered, poking Takuya.

Two pairs of eternal eyes stared at each other.

"That's what I like about you."

Zoe was already off the bridge, camera in hand. They were already walking back to the bus. Zoe sat on the bench in front of the bus, uncharacteristically, Takuya slid closer to Zoe. He lightly touched his hand to her shoulder, and the physical contact seemed to make his calming influence stronger. The angriness stayed dull, unfocused. As usual, Zoe slapped Takuya's hand on her shoulders.

"Takuya," she said. Takuya looked at her numbly. "One more touch, I swear you're going to regret it."

"Zoe, don't you have any feelings for me anymore. You can't hide it forever."

"What I feel for you is madness," the words were like a vest, holding her head above the flood.

"Yes, I'm catching that. But how are you going to move on if you don't even forgive the one you left?"

Zoe stood and her back facing. "You…you...have no right to tell me that, Takuya!" Despite Takuya, the hysteria bubbled in her voice.

She walked away again and something stopped her from walking away.

"I won't stop until you forgive me."

She faced him. "You can't win, Takuya. You'll give up soon. Don't you see what I'm doing? You're not making it better at all. You'll find someone, and you'll hurt someone…Takuya, you can't—"

"I'm here for us to give ourselves one more chance to talk clearly, Zoe," he assured her.

"And what if you're embarrassing yourself, Takuya? Do you think that's okay with me?"

Takuya looked meaningfully at Zoe. A deep, heavy fog of leathery washed over them, and Zoe's eyes closed without her permission. Their minds struggled against the fog, realizing what was happening. She forced her eyes open, stepping away as Takuya stepping closer to her.

"I don't want this," she snapped.

Then a thick crowd came out of the arena. As the driver got in, Zoe ran quickly inside it.

When they got to the hotel, she walked into her room and shut the door, slammed it really, so she could be free to go to pieces privately. She shoved herself on the sofa. This time they didn't follow her. For three a half hours she stared at the wall, curled in a ball, rocking. Her mind went in circles, trying to come up with some way out of this nightmare. There was no escape, no reprieve. She could see only one possible end looming darkly in her future. The only question was what if Takuya was right.

The only solace, the only hope she had left, was knowing that she might be right even though she's wrong. Maybe, if she could just see Takuya's face again today, she would also be able to see the solution that eluded her now.

She simple lied down and looked at the blank walls with her timeless eyes. Zoe, seemed to have no urge to pace, or peek through the curtains, or run screaming out the door, the way she did.

Takuya looked at the clock, it was five-thirty in the evening.

"Let me guess, it turned out pretty like an argument," Koji told Takuya.

"I give Zoe a nine while you get a four," Koichi breathed.

"She's always pissed," Takuya complained. "How are we supposed to talk if she always starts the fight."

"Then check her out in her room," Shinya advised.

"Let's just hope she doesn't threw her clothes to you this time," Koji joked.

Takuya's stomach twisted uneasily at his words.

Takuya knocked but nobody answered. He twisted the door knob even though it's useless but it wasn't, the door was unlocked. When he got in, Zoe was still on the couch. He kneeled beside her then smiled to himself. Her face was so perfect when she's asleep. The touch of his hot hands woke Zoe briefly as he carried her to the bed, but what she can see was a blur.

"Would you put me down whoever you are," she muttered lazily.

Takuya chuckled silently. She was unconscious again before her head hit the pillow. Takuya removed her boots and covered her with her blankets. And then left a message on the table beside her. Then left the room with the door locked.

Zoe could feel it was too early again when she woke, and she knew she was getting the schedule of her days and nights slowly reserved. She grabbed her MP3 and plugged her earphones through her ears and lay in her bed and listened to the soft rock of her MP3. That were loud enough for her to hear at all was strange. She rolled till her feet touched the floor and then staggered to the living room.

The clock on the TV said it was just after five in the morning. She sat on the sofa. She looked up, too engrossed.

She crept to her side to peek. And realized something.

"How did I—I was here—" she asked herself quietly.

She ran in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. "What did Takuya do?" she groaned and saw a piece of paper on the table beside her bed.

She picked it up, her hand was shaking:

_**I love you. I am so sorry. I am so very, very sorry. **_

_**Don't be angry with my friends even though you're already not. Thank you for everything. **_

_**I came in your room, hoping to talk with you, turns out you fall asleep on your couch. **_

_**And please, please next time don't forget to lock your door. Please, don't think I did something to you, I only carried you in your bed, nothing else. **_

_**I love you. **_

_**Forgive me. **_

_**Takuya. **_

Zoe grumbled the letter carefully, and threw it away from her. Eventually she will find it. She only hoped she would understand him, and he would understand her, and they listened to each other just once.

**I'm sorry if it could be so boring =((**


	24. It's Over

**If you don't like it, just simply ignore it. Thank you I guess**

Three days had passed and Takuya hadn't still got to talk with Zoe. Whenever he tried a conversation her, she simply shove him out of her way and walked out on him.

They had a tour at the Temples, they had an adventure in Dreamland and yesterday they had shopping, Thai Massage and Facial Wash.

Takuya returned to the front room, a little ashamed of his behavior. He hoped he hadn't offended either of his friends, which they would know how grateful he was for the sacrifices they were making on his account.

Koichi was talking as rapidly as ever, but what caught Takuya's attention was that, for the first time, Shinya was not in the room. Takuya looked at clock—it was six thirty in the afternoon. It's was their rest day. And tomorrow will be the day they will be leaving.

"My face is smooth," Koichi told Shinya. "I didn't know shopping could feel so good."

"Where's Shinya?" Takuya questioned.

"He went to check out Zoe," Koji answered.

"Yeah. You were sleeping like a day," Koichi commented.

"How am I going to convinced Zoe to forgive me?"

His stomach twisted uneasily at his question.

Shinya opened the door open, distracting Takuya. Shinya looked surprised, but he was already walking forward to Takuya.

"Hello?" Takuya asked. "What's the news?" he snapped. Good or bad, he mouthed.

"She finally agrees to talk to you," Shinya jumped happily.

Takuya sighed. He'd been expecting this though he'd tried to make his message simple as possible.

"Dinner at the lobby at seven o'clock," Shinya said in his most soothing voice, walking slowly away from Takuya.

"Everything is fine, now, Takuya," Koji said.

"You can explain to her everything," Koichi patted Takuya's back.

Takuya paused, surprised.

"Takuya?" Koji called.

"Be very careful not to say anything stupid," Koichi reminded in a tenor voice, a very pleasant, generic voice. He spoke very quickly. "Now, you don't need to argue anymore, so please do not screw this up, and you guys will be fine." He paused for a minute while he listened to Takuya's train of thought.

Shinya threw Takuya a pillow, breaking his silence. "That's very good," he congratulated. "I can see this is going to be difficult." Shinya's voice was amused, still light and friendly.

"Why don't you walk into another room now so you can go change? There's no more reason for you to suffer anymore," Koji pushed Takuya to the bedroom and shut the door.

"Nervous," Shinya's voice said.

Takuya walked very slowly to the bathroom. He left the door open behind him, trying to think clearly through the luck that gripped his brain.

He looked at himself with the mirror. "There now, she's giving you a chance," he told himself. "All right then," the agreeable voice continued. "Gotta get ready."

_**La Bella Italia (near the lobby)**_

Takuya walked to the door of the restaurant. The scanned the crowded restaurant—Zoe was sitting at a partition to a small ring of booths. Zoe caught his eye and Takuya blazed her luminous smile.

Takuya sat.

Just when Takuya was about to say something, their server arrived, her face expectant.

"Good evening Ma'am, good evening sir," she greeted. "What can I get I get you to drink?"

Takuya looked at Zoe.

"I'll have Coke."

"Two Cokes it is," he said.

The server smiled with another superfluous smile. But he didn't notice it. He was studying Zoe.

"Is there something wrong with me?" she asked when the server's gone.

His eyes never left her face. "We're on a restaurant…we're going to eat dinner…this is a date?"

"No," she replied, stunned. "We're only eating dinner, and then we're going to talk."

"Am I forgiven…?"

"Should you be forgiven?"

He chuckled at her bewildered tone.

"Well, I'm actually waiting for you to say that." He grinned mysteriously.

"I don't think you changed." She breathed. "Still trying hard I see."

"You're not the same Zoe I knew, but I still feel better when you have me on a dinner with you."

Right on cue, the waitress appeared with their drinks and basket of napkins.

"May I take your order?" she asked Takuya.

"Zoe?" he asked. She turned toward Zoe.

"Um…I'll have the spaghetti meat balls."

"How about you sir?" she turned back to him.

"Long Fusili with Chanterelles," he said.

"Excellent choice." He wasn't looking at her, and she left.

"Are you gonna drink?" he questioned.

Zoe sipped at her soda rebelliously, and then drank more deeply, surprised by she had a brain-freeze. She squeezed her eyes closed.

"Brain-freeze?" Takuya muttered.

"I'm fine," she said. "So, where were we?"

"Maybe later," he said.

After they had dinner, they sat quietly for seconds.

"Are you ready to talk?" Zoe asked.

"Wanna go for a walk?" he asked.

The waitress appeared after Takuya called her.

"Check, please," Zoe said.

The waitress pulled a leather folder and handed it to Takuya.

"No, its okay, I can pay it for you," Zoe insisted. There was a bill in his hand already. He handed it right back to the waitress.

"No need." He answered Zoe. "No change." He turned to the waitress.

"Have a nice evening." She walked back to the counter.

_**At the park**_

Zoe sat at the swing, chilling back and forth while Takuya sat at the big rock near the swing.

They waited for each other.

"I'm going to listen very carefully, don't worry," Zoe broke the silence as she join Takuya sitting on the rock.

"I'm sorry for troubling you. I was hoping you would give me second chance," Takuya finally said.

Somehow, there had to be a way. She remembered that they were going to the airport tomorrow morning.

Zoe shivered the cold air whooshed around them.

Takuya shrugged out of his jacket. Zoe noticed he was wearing a black t-shirt. He handed her the jacket.

"Thanks," she muttered, sliding her arms into his jacket. It was hot—she didn't shiver anymore. The sleeves were much too long—she shoved them back so she could free her hands.

"Do you still remember this moment?" he asked, remembering their first dinner.

"Um…no." it sounded like a question more than an answer.

"I can't believe you've forgotten," Takuya snorted. "It was the same; we hang out at the park that night. You were shivering to death. You told me you've forgotten your jacket so I let you borrow my jacket. It was the same jacket you're wearing now."

_Takuya brought Zoe to the park. Zoe sat at the swing. Shivered._

_"Are you cold?" Zoe hasn't given him an answer and Takuya was shrugging out of his jacket. He was removing a light red leather jacket now; underneath he wore an ivory turtleneck sweater. It fit him snugly, emphasizing how muscular his chest was._

_He handed her the jacket._

_"Thanks" she said, sliding her arms into his jacket. It was hot—she stopped shivering. It smelled amazing. She inhaled, trying to identify the delicious scent. The sleeves were much too long; she shoved it back so she could free her hands._

_"That color red looks lovely with your skin, he said, as he sat at the swing, watching her. She was surprised; she looked down._

_"Why'd you brought me here?" Zoe asked._

_"I love parks."_

_"So am I. I hang out here every time there are no classes. I especially love swinging!" As she moved back and forth on the swing._

_"I'm sorry...and thank you very much."_

_"For what?"_

_"I'm sorry because I acted like you never existed from the first time I saw you. And thank you, for everything."_

_"I haven't given you anything yet."_

_"For still being my friend even though I've been rude around ya since the day we've met."_

_Zoe didn't reply instead she smiled. She looked up at the sky. Both of them watching the stars shining._

"That was our first date," Takuya and Zoe smiled widely to each other. Takuya crushed Zoe's hand, not even trying to stop him. Takuya tried pulling his face to Zoe. For the shortest second, Zoe pulled away before Takuya's lips crashed against hers.

"To be honest, I feel better. I'm sure this won't be easy, but if I get the slightest hint that your friends are spying on us, well, that would be very bad for you," Zoe's friendly voice promised, changing the subject. "You must know enough about us by now to realize how quickly I would know if you tried to bring anyone alone with you. And how little time we would need this if that was the case. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Takuya's voice broke.

"Very good, Takuya. Now continue."

"After you broke up with me, Zoe, is it really possible you've forgotten your feelings with me?"

"Everything's possible," she said politely.

"I'm sorry that I betrayed you, I realized that I deserve this but I still love you, you know that."

"Is that what you think?" she asked tersely. "I've never stopped thinking about you, Takuya. The day I saw you with another girl, I wanted to forget you. Every night I keep praying to God I wanna forget you. The day you apologized to me, I've forgiven you."

"Then why did you lie to me?"

"I thought that would make you give up; I thought that would make you hate me so you can forget about it." Takuya waited. "You may be the one I want, but you're not the one I need." Takuya smirked to himself when he remembered those words when he told them to Zoe, _You may be the one I want, but Lilith is the one I need. _"It's time for us to move on. It's time for us to let go."

The tears were coming. They tried to fight them back.

"You know, if I could undo one thing, I would stop myself for being a jerk to you," Takuya said.

"Past is past, Takuya. Sometimes we have to accept our mistakes."

Takuya sniffed. "I understand."

Zoe stood, smiling. "What do you say, Takuya? Are we friend or what?" She showed her hand.

Takuya grinned widely, crushing her in a bear hug that about to break her ribs.

"Can't—breathe!" she gasped.

He dropped her once, keeping one hand at her waist so she didn't fall over.

"I love you, Zoe." Takuya's voice was thick. "As a friend," he joked.

Zoe chuckled quietly.

"Now we can rest in peace," Zoe stretched.

_**At the hotel**_

"Goodnight, Zoe. I look forward to seeing you again." Takuya walked her to her room.

"Sleep tight," Zoe replied. She shut the door. Her joints were frozen with happiness—she couldn't bend her fingers to drop.

She knew she had to think, but her head was filled with the sound of Takuya's voice. Seconds ticked by while she fought for control.

Slowly, slowly, her thoughts started to break past that brick wall of pain. It's over. For she had made a choice: to stay friends with Takuya. She had no guarantees, nothing to give to keep their friendship. She could only hope that Takuya would be satisfied with having a draw, that being friends with her would be enough. Despair gripped her; there was no way to bargain, nothing she could offer or withhold that she could influence him. She made a choice. She tried.

She pushed the pain back as well as she could. She choked back the dread, the anxiety, tried to stifle it. She didn't know if she wants this or need this.

She knew Takuya's friends were in the room, listening to Takuya's story.

_**Takuya and his friends' Room**_

But Takuya had to deal with one more things in private, before they come back at Shibuya.

He had to accept that he and Zoe wouldn't be more than friends anymore. He let the waves of bright side wash over him; have their way for a time. Then he pushed them back, too, and went to face his friends.

The only expression he could manage was curious look. He saw them alarm and he didn't wait for their ask. He had just one script and he'd never manage improvisation now.

"I'm forgiven, we stayed as friend for now. But its okay, at least I didn't lose her." His voice was lifeless.

"You don't sound fine, big brother," Shinya worried.

Takuya turned away; he could let them see his face.

"Guys," he said slowly, without turning, keeping his voice level. "I'm sure I'm fine."

"Sure, Takuya." Koichi's voice was careful. He could see Takuya coming apart at the seams Takuya _had _to keep his emotions under better control.

Takuya went into the bedroom again, and shoved himself on the bed.

_**Seven-thirty in morning**_

It had taken much less time that Takuya had thought—all the pain, the despair, the shattering of his heart. The minutes were ticking by more slowly than usual. Takuya had comeback to Zoe's room. He was afraid to be in the same room with her, afraid that she would guess…and afraid to hide from her for the same reason.

Takuya would have thought he was far beyond the ability to be surprised, his thoughts tortured and unstable, but he _was _surprised when he saw Zoe bent over the desk, gripping the edge with two hands.

"Zoe?"

She didn't react when he called her name, but her head was slowly rocking side to side, and he saw her face. Her eyes were full, happy…reaching out automatically to touch his hand.

"I bought a souvenir," Takuya pulled a bolt from his pocket.

"Ha!" Zoe's voice whipped, and then Takuya was right behind her, his hands curling over Zoe's, loosening the lock into her hand. "What is this?" she demanded, chuckling,

He turned his face away from Zoe, then back to hers and grabbed the lock. "I want it to make it simple so here it is," he introduced. "This is where our happy, sad and embarrassing moments locked."

Zoe giggled as she pulled back the lock from him. "You are full of crazy ideas."

He pulled another things from his pocket. This time, it was a key. "This is a key to our world. Only you and I can use this." Takuya turned to open the window and threw the key out of the window.

"What the heck was that for?" Zoe's head twisted around, her eyes locking on the outside, her expression confused. She realized at once that he's really ready.

"What did you see?" Takuya said—and there was no question in his flat, uncaring voice.

Zoe looked at him sharply. He kept his expression vacant and waited. Her eyes confused as she flickered swiftly between their faces, feeling the chaos…for she could guess what Takuya's been doing.

He felt a tranquil atmosphere settle around him. He welcomed it, using it to keep his emotions disciplined, under control.

Zoe, too, recovered herself.

"You gave me a lock and threw the key away," she answered finally, her voice remarkably calm and convincing.

"If we ever find the key, it means we're meant for each other."

They looked at each other, her expression smooth and withdrawn. "I'll be waiting for that."

Zoe squeezed the lock in her hand and Takuya and Zoe hugged at each other. They didn't notice that they were hugging romantically.

"This isn't friendship anymore." Zoe quickly said.

Takuya pulled away from the hug and agreed. "Hand shake's still cooler," and they shook hands laughing. "Did you want breakfast?"

"No, I'll eat at the airport." And then Takuya left. Zoe was very calm, too. She went to the bathroom to shower. She could feel Takuya's wild—though well-concealed—desperation to have her out of the room, to be alone with him. So she could tell him that they were doing something wrong, that they were going to be free…

She got ready methodically, concentrating on each little task. She left her hair down, swirling around her, covering her face. The peaceful mood she created worked its way through her and helped her think clearly. She dug through her bag until she found her sock full of money. She emptied it into her pocket.

She was anxious to get to the airport, and glad when they left by nine. She sat alone this time, her face toward Koji, but, behind her sunglasses, shooting glances in her direction ever seconds. Takuya and the others were buying themselves some snacks.

"Koji?" she asked indifferently.

"He was wary. "Yes?"

"Does people change?" she stared outside the windows of the airport while waiting for their plane. Her voice sounded bored. "There's always something…things happen for a reason…" it was harder than she would have thought.

"Yes, people change…," he murmured—hopefully, she thought. "Some people are more certain than others…like weather. People are harder. We sometimes see what we only see from other people. We change our minds—we make decisions, no matter how small—we are. Bad and good people changes especially."

Zoe nodded thoughtfully. "So what we see, what we hear, we gotta keep it real."

"Yes," he agreed, wary again.

And she tried not to think about what else she might have seen. They stopped watching Zoe twice as careful now, anyway, after she had forgiven Takuya. This was going to be easy now.

Zoe yawned, covering her mouth. "You look sleepy?" Takuya asked.

"I just didn't have a good night sleep last night," she told him while she put her gray cloak. Inside the gray cloak, she was warm and comfortable. More than comfortable.

"You can sleep at the plane, Zoe," Koichi murmured.

Zoe had to swallow hard before hard before she could answer.

"I don't want to sleep. I'm not tired." Just the second part was a lie. She wasn't about to close her eyes.

"But you said—"

"That I'm not tired nor sleep," Zoe interrupted Shinya.

"At least try to sleep at the plane," Takuya encouraged. "You looking not cheerful makes me worried."

Zoe shook her head.

Koji sighed. "You're still just as stubborn."

She _was _stubborn; she fought with her heavy lids, and she won.

The plane trip to Shibuya was so long so Zoe asked the flight attendant if she could have Coke.

"Zoe," Koji said approvingly. "Takuya, informed me to have you sleep."

Takuya and the others were at the back. Koji and Zoe could hear Takuya, Koichi and Shinya murmuring.

"I don't want to sleep," she reminded him. She gave him an excuse that was believable it was true. "If my close my eyes now, I'll see things I don't want to see. I'll have nightmares."

He didn't argue with her after that.

It would have been very good time to talk, to get the answers she needed—needed but not really wanted; she was already despairing at the thought of what she might hear. They had an uninterrupted block of time ahead of them, and he couldn't escape her on an airplane—well, not easily, at least. No one would hear them; it was late, and most of the passengers were turning of flights and asking for pillows in muted voices. Talk would help her fight off the exhaustion.

But, perversely, she bit her tongue against the flood of questions. Her reasoning was probably flawed by exhaustion, but she hoped that by postponing the discussion eh could buy a few more hours with him at some later time—spin this out for another night, Scheherazade-style.

So she kept drinking soda, and resisting even urge to blink. Koji seemed perfectly content to relax on his sit. She'd lived through a lot that should have finished her in the last few days, but it didn't make her feel strong. Instead, she felt horribly fragile, like one word could shatter her.

Koji didn't speak. Maybe he was hoping she would sleep. Maybe he had nothing to say.

She won the fight against her heavy lids. She was awake when they reached the airport in Shibuya, and she even watched the sun beginning to set over the cloud cover before Koji slid the window open. She was proud of herself. She hadn't missed one minute.

Neither Takuya nor his friends was surprised by the reception that waited for them at the airport, but it caught Zoe off guard. JP was the first one they saw—he seemed to see Zoe the last. Koichi and Shinya went quickly to his side; they embraced like they're brothers. JP and Zoe only stared into each other's faces, yet, somehow.

"Aw, Takuya and Zoe are okay now?" JP muttered.

"We're just friends now," Takuya explained.

"Anybody wants to hang out for a while?" Shinya announced.

The sleepless night was suddenly overpowering. Zoe's head felt disconnected from her body. "I'm dead on my feet," Zoe mumbled Shinya. "I gotta go home. See you when I see ya."

"Do you want me to go home with you?" Takuya asked.

"No need. Have fun what you're gonna do," she answered quickly as she walked away.

Not sure if home was what she wanted at this point, she stumbled, half-blind, through the airport, dragging herself out of the airport. She didn't know if Takuya and the others were behind her to not, and she was too exhausted to look.

She thinks she was mostly asleep, though she was still walking, when she reached a Taxi. She sighed, and towed her toward the Taxi.

She told him their home address. She knew she wasn't going to be able to fight her eyelids anymore, and she laid her head against the chest of the chair in defeat, letting them close. She felt the car roar to life.

It was quiet then, except for the gentle thrum of the engine. She must have fallen asleep, because it seemed like seconds later when the driver spoke. Her eyelids fluttered open in shock, then close again. Her eyes wouldn't open. At first she thought she was still at the airport.

And then she heard Nathan. Nathan opened the door and he was trying her from the car.

"Go back to sleep," he muttered.

"Dad," she mumbled, trying to shake off the stupor.

"Shh," Nathan whispered. "It's okay; you're home and I've already paid the Taxi. Just sleep."

"I can't believe you have the nerve to carry me." Zoe said, it just sounded like a garbled sigh. "Stop it, Dad," she groaned. He didn't hear her.

"You're just very tired, Zoe," he assured her quietly. "I'll let you rest when I get you to your bed."

"I know what to do," she muttered. "I can walk."

"You can't even open your eyes."

Zoe clung to him with locked, tenacious fingers.

"Cut it out, Dad," she said. She managed to drag her lids open to stare at Nathan.

They were in front of their house. The front door was standing open. The cloud cover overhead was too thick to guess at a time of day.

"'Kay. Let me down," she sighed.

"You bet I will when you're on your bed," Nathan promised.

"Dad," she groaned one more time.

"Fine."

Nathan set her on her feet. She could see that she was upright, but she couldn't feel her legs. She trudged forward anyway, until the sidewalk swirled up toward her face. Nathan's arms caught her before she hit the concrete.

"Just let me get you upstairs," Nathan said.

"No," she cried.

She didn't hear Nathan's answer, but he headed into the house. Her open eyes only made it till the stairs. The last thing she felt was Nathan's hands prying her fingers loose from his shirt.

**I really don't mind if you dislike it =((**


	25. Three Red Roses With One Love letter

**heartbreaker19: of course this isn't over, i'm just getting started! and the quote you were saying: (a)do you love me because you need me? (b)or you need me because you love me. . . . if you choose _a_, it means u're a user. if u choose _b, _it means u're a lover. **

******what's up readers? enjoy the chapter!**

_**February **_

Zoe had the sense that she'd been asleep for a very long time—her body was stiff, like she hadn't moved once through all the time, either. Her mind was dazed and slow; strange, colorful dreams—dreams and nightmares—swirled dizzily around the inside of her head. They were so vivid. The horrible and the heavenly all mixed together into a bizarre jumble. There was s sharp impatience and fear, both part of that frustrating dream where your feet can't move fast enough…The dream was still strong—she could even remember the names. But the strongest part, clearest part of the dream was not the horror. It was the angel that was _most _clear.

It was hard to let him go and wake up for her. This dream did not want to be shoved away into the vault of dreams she refused to visit. She struggled with it as her mind became more alert, focusing on reality. She couldn't remember what day of the week it was, but she was sure Takuya or school or work or something was waiting for her. She inhaled deeply, wondering how to face another day.

She squeezed her eyes more tightly shut. She was still dreaming, it seemed, and it felt abnormally real. She was so close to waking…any seconds now, it would be gone.

But she realized that it felt too real, too real to be good for her. The arms she imagined wrapped around her were far too substantial. If she let this go any further, she'd be sorry for it later. With a resigned sigh, she wrenched back her eyelids to dispel the illusion.

"Oh!" she gasped, and threw her fists over her eyes.

Well, clearly, she'd gone too far; it must have been a mistake to let her imagination get so out of hand. Okay, so "let" was the wrong words. She'd _forced _it to get out of hand—pretty much stalked her hallucinations—and now her mind had snapped.

It took less than half a second for her to realize that, as long as she was truly insane now, she might as well enjoy the delusions while they were pleasant.

She opened her eyes again—as her cell phone rang, just inches away from her. She pushed the button.

"We need you here, Zoe," Koji's low voice was anxious.

This was not very good, as delusions went. This surprised her; her hallucinatory dream was usually fed.

She blinked twice, desperately trying to remember the last thing she was sure real…

"Oh, _crap_," she croaked. Her throat was thick with sleeping,

She frowned unhappily.

"I'm late, right?" she moaned. "Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill me."

"You're not late."

"Then why are you calling me?" she challenged, raising her eyebrows.

"As your assistant of the organizer of the Valentine's Day Ball, we need to plan things. So I _need _you here, Zoe."

She shook her head. "Sure, sure. Thanks for making me the organizer of the Ball…" she trailed off.

"I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare." She can feel him grin. "Did you have any date?"

Zoe grimaced. "Obviously none. And I'm not interested in having a date."

He sighed.

Her head was getting clearer. Her eyes flickered away—unwillingly—for one second, to the dark, open window. She started to remember details…and she felt a faint.

"Maybe you should go back to sleep. You're not coherent."

"I'm not tired anymore." It was all coming clear now. "What time is it?"

"It's just after four in the morning. Mr. Orimoto told me you went straight to bed when you got home. Men—you were a machine yesterday."

She stretched as he spoke. She was so stiff.

"Where are you?" she asked.

"House. You should probably know we've got work to do. Well, not technically, since we've got a week before the Ball…But, still, we gotta move."

"I'll meet you at school." She said, belief quickly melting into serenity.

"See ya. Bye."

_Her_ eyes were active. She was going to have a few words with Koji—it didn't matter so much, of course, except on principle. All too soon there would be no reason for the prohibition. She turned her thoughts to less painful avenues.

_**At School**_

Five-thirty at their school's park, Koji and Zoe were planning how the Ball will go.

"What's the story?" she asked, genuinely curious, but also trying desperately to keep the conversation casual, to keep a firm grip on herself, so she wouldn't scare him away with the frantic, gnawing craving that was raging inside of her.

"I'll take notes," Koji sat on the table while he brought out a pen and a notebook.

"Lights—Music—Decoration—DJ—Flyers. Of course, the venue will be at the Gym. "She tried to count the days in her head.

"How are we going to do all of these in one week?" His eyes tightened, but he smiled more naturally this time. "Actually, I was hoping you might have a good explanation about this to our Ms. Parker. I've got nothing."

Zoe groaned. "Fabulous."

"Well, maybe the others will come up with something," he offered, trying to comfort her.

And she was comforted.

"So," she began, picking the least important—though still vitally interesting—plans to start with. "Dancers—Singers—Special numbers—before the party ends, there will be _glitter works._"

"Glitter works?" Koji repeated. "What the heck is that?"

Her face turned wary in an instant. "Well, I just call it glitter works…their like fireworks but their glitter. You don't wanna have a fire in the gym, do you?"

"Of course not," he mumbled.

"Well…" she pursued her lips, considering. "Any suggestions Koji?"

He sighed. "What about make the glitter-works when it's time for slow dance?"

"Perfect!" She exclaimed respectfully. He waited for her answer. "Maybe," she said after a second of thought. "Maybe a date would be fine."

"You really…mean that?"

"I don't wanna be a loner, do I?" she criticized. "It's just a date for the Valentine's Day Dance."

He hesitated, and then spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. "How are you…going to find a right…date? I'm not very good at this."

"Good question," she replied. "I have no idea!" she exclaimed, intrigued.

"You're smart. You're blonde. You're cute. You'll get a date in no time." His words didn't match his expression; he looked pleased, comfortable.

She blushed a little. "Thanks for the admiration," she laughed.

He hesitated; his face, shining with an odd green cast from the light of the school.

"Can—" he took a deep breath. "If I ask you to be my date, will you agree?"

"Are you asking?"

He blushed but Zoe didn't notice it. "No, of course not, I'm comfortable of being like _this_. But you have to know"—the words began to flow fast, the way she remembered he spoke sometimes when he was agitated, that she had really to concentrate to catch them all—"that Takuya's going to ask you to be his date on Valentine's Day Dance. What are you going—"

"I have a better idea," she interrupted him. He stared at her with his eyes.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking," Koji raised his eyebrows.

"What are you thinking?"

"Nothing of consequence."

_**Before the English Class Starts**_

Koji sat beside Zoe with his lips curled back. "Are you sure this is going to work?"

"I don't know," she replied.

"It's pretty like challenging though."

"I don't care."

"Takuya's not in the room yet."

"So…?"

"Aren't you going to wait for him?"

"Why do I even care?"

He groaned. "Never mind."

"Yeah. Forget that you said that."

Zoe walked in front the room, and sat on the desk of Ms. Parker.

"Attention. Attention. May I have your attention?" Zoe used the kind of voice at the airport.

Koji and Koichi laughed at the back as Zoe fooled around. Nobody listened to her, they were too busy making a commotion.

"HEY!" Koji yelled and everyone snapped into silence. "Zoe had something to say." Everybody's eyes stared into Zoe. Zoe's eyes widened in shock.

"Um…thanks, Koji," Zoe muttered. "Okay, so here goes," she took a deep breath. "The first boy that will give me three roses with one love letter will be my date on the Valentine's Day Dance. That's all." Then Zoe sat at the back with Koji and Koichi.

All of their classmates continued what they were doing while others were writing love letters.

"This is ridiculous," Zoe chuckled. "I knew it."

"How many boys asked you out?" Koji asked.

"I don't know, this year maybe more or less five," she answered

"How many boys asked you to be their date on Valentine's Day Dance?" Koichi questioned.

"Hmm...I rejected Bret, James, Ivan and Ryan," she replied. "What's with the questions guys?"

"Competition. Competition." Koji mumbled.

"You're smart. You're blond. You're cute." Koichi snapped "What kind of a boy wouldn't like you?" Koichi snapped. "Koji and I like you!"

Koji and Zoe eyed him in shock. Zoe raised an eyebrow.

"As a friend," Koichi added.

Zoe went back to her seat as the Ms. Parker came in. For the rest of the day. The boys were impossible, following her around, obsessed with making amends to her somehow. She tried to convince them what she wanted more than anything else was for them to give her three roses—especially one love letter—but they remained insistent. They followed her between classes and sat at her now-crowded lunch table. The boys were even less friendly toward each other, which made her worry that she'd gained another unwelcomed fan.

No one seemed to concern about the senior girls, though she explained over and over to the boys that this was just for fun. She tried to be convincing.

Zoe was surrounded by crowds of curious senior girls eager for her firsthand account. Senior girls avoided her from this day. All of them, especially the boys, glanced her way.

When Takuya sat next her in class, as far from her as the table would allow, he seemed totally unaware of her presence. Only now and then, when his fists would suddenly ball up—skin stretched even wither over the bones—did she wonder if he wasn't quiet as oblivious as he appeared.

She wanted to very much to talk to him.

He was already seated when they were in Biology, looking straight ahead. She sat down, expecting him to turn toward her. He showed no sign that he realize she was there.

"Hello, Takuya," she said pleasantly, to show him she was going to behave herself.

And that was the last contact she'd had with him, though he was there, a foot away from her, every day. She watched though sometimes, unable to stop herself—from a distance, though, in the cafeteria, outside the campus. She watched as his chocolate brown eyes grew darker day by day. But in class she gave no more notice that he existed than he showed toward her. She was miserable. And the dreams continued.

Boys grew more confident, sitting on the edge of her table to talk before Biology class started, ignoring Takuya as completely as he ignored them.

The sun continued heavily, though the days have passed.

"Are you sure you don't mind…you weren't planning to ask Takuya?" Koji persisted when she told him she didn't mind at least.

"No, Koji, I have no plan on doing that," she assured him.

"The Dance will be really fun." She suspected that Koji enjoyed her inexplicable popularity more than her actual company.

"I'm pretty excited than nervous.

The next day, Zoe was surprised that Takuya wasn't his usual gushing self. He was silent as he walked by her side between classes and she was afraid to him why.

Her fears were strengthened during lunch when Takuya sat as far from her as possible, he was unusually quiet was Zoe chatted animatedly with Koji.

Takuya was still quiet as he walked her to class, the uncomfortable look on his face a bad sign. But he didn't broach the subject until she was in her seat and he was perched on her desk. As always, she was electrically aware of Takuya sitting close enough to touch, as distant as if he were merely an invention of her imagination.

Kyle made a move toward Zoe with a red rose in his hand.

"So," Kyle said, looking at the floor. "Here's the rose you were asking."

Zoe took it and smiled.

"This great." She made her voice bright and enthusiastic. "Have fun at the Dance."

"Well…" he floundered as he examined her smile, clearly not happy with her response. "Are you saying you're my date on the Dance?"

"Why would I do that/" Zoe let a disapproval color her tone, though she was relieved he hadn't give him an absolute no.

His face was bright red as he looked down again. Pity shook her resolve.

"I was wondering if…well, if you heard what I said that three roses with one love letter."

She paused for a moment, hating the wave of guilt that swept though her. But she saw, from the corner of her eye, Takuya's head tilt reflexively in her direction.

"Did you already have someone?" Did Takuya notice how Kyle's eyes flickered in his direction?

"No," he assured Kyle.

"Why not?" Kyle demanded.

"Didn't you hear what is said? I said three red roses with one love letter," she explained.

"Isn't one red rose good enough?"

"Sorry, no," she said. "So shouldn't make you wait any longer—it's rude."

"Yeah, you're right," he mumbled, and turned, dejected, to walk back his seat. She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her temples, trying to push the guilt and sympathy out of her head. Mr. Broman began talking. She sighed and opened her eyes.

And Takuya was staring at her curiously, that same, familiar edge of frustration even more distinct now in his brown eyes.

She stared back, surprised, expecting him to look quickly away. But instead he continued to gaze with probing intensity into her eyes. There was no question of her looking away. Her hands started to shake.

"Mr. Kanbara?" the teacher called, seeking to answer a question that she hadn't heard.

"The Krebs cycle," Takuya answered, seeming reluctant as he turned to look at Mr. Broman.

She looked down at her book as his eyes released her, trying to find her place. Cowardly as ever, she shifted her hair over her right shoulder to hide her face. She couldn't believe the rush of emotion pulsing through her—just because she'd happened to look at her for the first time in a week. She couldn't allow him to have this level of influence over her. It was pathetic. More than pathetic, it was unhealthy.

She tried very hard not to be aware of him for the rest of the hour, and since that was impossible, at least not to let him know that she was aware of him. When the bell rang at last, she turned her back to him to gather her things, expecting him to leave immediately usual.

"Zoe?" his voice shouldn't have been so familiar to her, as if she'd know the sound of it all her life rather than for just two short days.

She turned slowly, unwillingly. She didn't want to feel she _would _feel when she looked at his too-perfect face. Her expression was wary when she finally turned to him; his expression was unreadable. He didn't say anything.

"What? Are you talking to me again?" she finally asked an unintentional note of petulance in her voice.

Is lips twitched, fighting a smile. "No, not really," he admitted.

She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly though her nose, aware that she was gritting her teeth. He waited.

"Then what do you want, Takuya?" she asked keeping her eyes closed; it was easier to talk to him coherently that way.

"I'm sorry." He sounded sincere. "I didn't mean to ignore you this passed two days.

She opened her eyes. His face was very serious.

"Whatever, I don't care anymore," she said, her voice guarded.

"So, three red roses and one love letter?" he muttered. "I don't get it."

Her eyes narrowed.

"It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier" she hissed through her teeth. "You should've seen how many love letters are in my locker."

"Love letters?" the word, and her tone, obviously caught him off guard. "Why three roses?"

"Find your stupid questions by yourself."

He was astonished. He stared at her disbelief.

When he finally spoke, he almost sounded mad. "Why did you rejected Kyle?"

"You _know _why," she snapped.

He turned her head sharply away from him, clenching her jaw against all the wild accusations she wanted to hurl at him. She gathered her books together, then stood and walked to the door. She meant to sweep dramatically out of the doorjamb, and dropped her books. She stood there for a moment, thinking about leaving them. Then she sighed and bent to pick them up. He was there; he'd already stack them into a pile. He handed them to her, his face hard.

"Thank you," she said icily.

His eyes narrowed.

"You're welcome," he retorted.

She straightened up swiftly, turned away from him again, and stalked off to Gym without looking back.

Gym was brutal. They'd moved on to basketball. Her team always passed her the ball, so that was bad, but she didn't fell down a lot. Sometimes she never took people with her. Today she was better than usual because her head was so filled with Takuya. She tried to concentrate on her feet, but he kept creeping back into her thoughts just when she really needed her balance.

She almost had a stroke when she saw a tall, dark figure leaning against the side of her locker. Then she realized it was just Ian. She started walking again.

"Hey, Ian," she called.

"Hi, Zoe."

"What's up?" she said as she was unlocking her locker. She wasn't paying attention to the uncomfortable edge in his voice, so his next words took her by surprise. He handed her a heart-shaped chocolate.

"Uh, I was just wondering…if you would go to the Dance with me." His voice broke on the last word.

"I thought I already told you guys that three red roses with one love letter," she said, too startled to be diplomatic.

"Well, chocolates cooler than red rose," he admitted, shamefaced.

She recovered her composure and tried to make her smile warm. "Thank you for asking me and this nice-looking chocolate, but I said three red roses with one love letter."

"Oh," he said. "Well, see ya."

"Sure," she agreed, and then bit her lip. She wouldn't want the boys to take her rejections too literally.

He slouched off, back toward the school. She heard a low chuckle.

Takuya was walking past her, looking straight forward his lips pressed together.

She yanked he locker open and there goes the pool of papers.

"Oh, what do we have here? An overflowing love letters, how sweet!" she sniffed and put the entire love letter inside her backpack, maybe twenty of them.

She slammed her locked loudly. Takuya was outside already, two spaces away from her, sliding out smoothly in front of her, cutting her off. He stopped there—to wait for the rest of his friends; she could see the three of them walking this way, but still by the cafeteria. She was too aggravated to acknowledge him.

While she was standing there, looking everywhere but at in front of her. She looked over behind her; Ivan was there. She glanced back at Ivan, confused.

"I'm sorry, Ivan, I wanna go home already," she was annoyed.

"Oh, I know—I just wanted to ask you something."

This could not be happening.

"Will you ask me to the dance?" he continued.

"No three red roses and no love letter, Ivan." Her voice sounded a little sharp. She had to remember it wasn't his fault that Kyle and Ian had already used up her quota of patience for the day.

"Yeah, Kyle said that," he admitted.

"Then why—"

He shrugged. "I was hoping you were just letting his down easy."

Okay, it was completely his fault.

"Sorry, Ivan," she said, working to hide her irritation. "I really want the three red roses with one love letter."

"That's cool. We still have prom."

And before he could respond, he was walking back away from her. She could feel the shock on her face. She looked forward to Koji, Koichi and JP all sliding beside Takuya. Takuya's eyes were on me. He was unquestionably shaking with laughter. Her foot itched away from them.

Takuya and the others were speeding away home. Zoe walked home slowly, carefully, muttering to herself the whole way.

When Takuya got home, he decided to make chicken enchiladas for dinner while Shinya's doing his homework. It was a long process, and it would keep him busy. While he was simmering the onions and chilies, the phone rang. He was almost afraid to answer it, but it might be Zoe.

It was Koji, and he was jubilant; he reminded him about the Dance. He celebrated with him briefly while he stirred. He had to go, Koji wanted to call his other friends to tell them. Koji thought that Zoe made a great Ball organizer. He actually sounded sincere.

After he hung up, he tried to concentrate on dinner—dicing the chicken especially; he didn't want to take a trip to the emergency room. But his head was spinning, trying to analyze every word Zoe had spoken today.

His stomach twisted. She must see how absorbed he was by her; she must not want to lead him on…because she wasn't interested in her at all. Not anymore. Not after she broke up with him.

Of course she wasn't interested at him, he thought angrily, his eyes stinging—a delayed reaction to the onions. He wasn't _interesting_. And she was. Interesting…and brilliant…and mysterious…and perfect…and beautiful…

Well that was fine. He could leave her alone. He _already _left her alone. He would get through his self-imposed sentence here in purgatory, and then hopefully some school in the Southwest, or possibly Hawaii, would offer him a scholarship. He focused his thoughts on sunny beaches and palm trees as he finished the enchiladas and put them in the oven.

The closest edible Mexican food was probably in southern California. Shinya seemed to like it. It was fun to watch as he slowly began trusting Takuya in the kitchen.

"Big brother?" he asked when she was almost done.

"Yeah, Shinya?"

"Um, is there any chance that you and Zoe could get together again?"

"Why?" he sounded surprise.

"Well, I like Zoe—she's like a big sister to me—and she's pretty nice to me."

"We don't have a very good relationship anymore," he said, echoing in Shinya's thoughts.

"I know, I'll help—if I have to."

"We're just friends now."

"But you still look at her more than a friend."

"Yes—I mean no," he fretted.

"Big brother, if you want to forget a girl—get a new girl."

"Do you want me to have another girlfriend again?"

Shinya tried to be crafty.

"That's all right, Big brother—you'll very boring without a lover."

"Oh, okay."

"Thanks for taking care of me these past few months. You've really changed." Shinya smiled at him. "Will you ask Zoe on the dance?"

Grrr, he thought. "Maybe—Shinya."

"better find three red roses and make a love letter if you wanna ask Zoe on the dance."

**okay pipz! let's have a trivia:**

**"Why it that children doesn't want to sleep during the afternoon? Do they know if they learn to love is they won't have any sleep even though they want to?**

**that's all readers! oh! and don't forget to read/review...i'd really appreciate it! **


	26. Gym

**This took me almost all night because I was busy playing Plants vs. Zombies and men...i tried to forget that the free trial version has just been expired. I got addicted to the game! I had really fun! I still want more plants vs. games! I swear i'm going to buy a full version! PLANTS VS. ZOMBIES ROCKS! *enjoy the chappie***

The next morning, all juniors and seniors were in the gym to start decorating for the Valentine's Day Ball. Zoe deliberately stayed as far as possible from Takuya. She didn't want to put herself in her path off too much temptation and end up being suspended by the principal. Getting in the gym, she fumbled with her day planner and fell it into the floor. As she bent to get it, a hand flashed out and grabbed it before she could. She jerked upright. Takuya Kanbara was right next to her, leaning casually against the gym's door.

She scowled at his perfect face. His eyes were light again today, a deep, chocolate-brown color. Then she had to look down, to reassemble her now-tangled thoughts.

"Why the traffic jam last night?" she demanded, still looking away. "I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death?"

"That was for Ivan's sake, not mine. I have to give him his chance." He snickered.

"You…" she gasped. She couldn't think of a bad enough word. It felt like the heat of her anger should physically burn him, but he only seemed more amuse.

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist," he continued.

"So you _are _trying to irritate me to death? Since Ivan didn't do the job?

Anger flashed in his tawny eyes. His lips pressed into a hard line, all signs of humor gone.

"Zoe, you are utterly absurd," he said, his low voice cold.

Her palms tingled—she wanted so badly to hit something. She was surprised to herself. She was usually nonviolent. She turned back and started to walk away. She checked those who were control of the tables and chairs.

"Wait" he called. She kept walking, sloshing angrily through the gym. But he was next to her, easily keeping pace.

"I'm sorry, that was rude," he said as they walked. She ignored him. "I'm not saying it isn't true," he continued, "but it was rude it anyway."

"Why won't you leave me alone?" she grumbled.

"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me," he chuckled. He seemed to have recovered his good humor.

"Do you have multiple personality disorder?" she asked severely.

"You're doing it again."

She sighed. "Fine then. What do you want to ask?"

"I was wondering if, tomorrow—you know, tomorrow—"

Are you trying to be _funny_?" she interrupted him, wheeling toward him. Her face got drenched as she looked up at his expression.

His eye severe wickedly amused. "Will you please allow me to finish?"

She checked the disco lights: left, right and up. She bit her lip and clasped her hands together, interlocking her fingers, so she couldn't do anything rush.

"I was wondering if you wanted me to be your date at the Dance."

That was unexpected. Before she could reply she checked the stereos.

"What?" she wasn't sure what he was getting at. "With who?" she asked, mystified.

"Myself, obviously." He enunciated every syllable, as if he were talking to someone mentally handicapped.

She was still stunned. "_Why?_"

"Well, I still have no date, and, to be honest, I'm not sure I'm not going to get any except you."

"I'm just fine without a date, thank you very much for the offer." She started walk again., but she was too surprised to maintain the level of anger.

"But will you say yes if I give you the three roses and the one love letter you want?" He matched her pace again.

"I don't see how that is any of your business." Stupid Takuya, she thought.

"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."

"Honestly, Takuya." She felt a thrill go through her as she said her name, and she hated it. "I can't keep up with you. But do whatever you want I don't care."

"Deal."

"Oh, thanks, now that's _all _cleared up." Heavy sarcasm. She realized she had stopped walking again.

"It would be more…_prudent _for you act as my best friend," he explained. "But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Zoe."

His eyes were gloriously intense as he uttered the last sentence, his voice smoldering. She couldn't remember how to breathe.

She couldn't speak yet, so she just nodded.

He smiled briefly, and then his face became serious.

"You really _should _play nice for me," he warned. "I'll see you later."

He turned abruptly and walked back out of the gym.

"Way to go, Takuya!" Koji cheered.

"Hey, guys," Zoe greeted Koichi and the others halfheartedly.

"Hey, Zoe," they said without looking away. Zoe smiled to response, their grins was so impish. When she did, Koji winked at her.

"Koji—what did you do this time?" she questioned.

"Nothing," Koji answered holding out his hand.

"Yeah, right," she muttered.

Koichi smiled a shy smile and shoved his hands in the pocket of his jeans.

"Alright guys, we've got work to do!" she snapped.

_**Before Lunch**_

"Okay, guys," Zoe announced. "We could have our lunch break now…be back here at one o'clock…okay?" they agreed. "Great job."

Everybody left the room except for Koji and Zoe.

"Aren't you coming with us?" Koji asked.

"I'll catch up on you."

"Do you know where Takuya is?" Koji asked and the trickle of words halted for a second.

"I don't know. I don't care," she snapped.

"Well, I bet he's looking for the three red roses you want and writing a love letter."

Zoe smashed her fist on the table. "Not that there's any excuse for what he left to face. When Takuya heard what I announced at the classroom—what I saw and heard myself—when I realized the immature, volatile competition—I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick, sick to my core, I am the most miserable excuse—and then his going to walk in the gym with dozen roses and then serenade me with his guitar—tell me, am I crazy?"

They were very hard words to say. He didn't know if she could get them out without breaking down. But he had to _try _to do it right. He didn't want to be a source of guilt and anguish in her life. She should be happy, no matter what it cost Koji.

He'd really been hoping to put off this part of their last conversation. It was going to bring things to an end so much sooner.

"Zoe," Koji said. "What if Takuya's walking into the gym with one heart-shaped balloon, one heart-shaped chocolate, one love letter, three red roses and a guitar…kneeling behind _you_…to be your date on the Dance."

"What?" Zoe mouthed. Then Koji pointed at her back. As she turned around she met Takuya's brown eyes. While Zoe's not looking at Koji, Koji snuck out of the gym to give Takuya and Zoe some _privacy. _

Takuya gave Zoe the balloon with and chocolate attached to the string and a love letter.

"Sorry if it's only three, at least you've got a balloon and a chocolate and _your _song," Takuya stood and started playing his guitar.

_I've got an angel_

_She doesn't wear any wings_

_She wears a heart that could melt my own_

_She wears a smile that could make me want to sing_

_She gives me presents_

_With her presence alone_

_She gives me everything i could wish for_

_She gives me kisses on the lips just for coming home_

_She can make angels_

_I've seen it with my own eyes_

_You got to be careful when you you've got good love_

_'cause them angels will just keep on multiplying_

_But you're so busy changing the world_

_Just one smile and you could change all of mine_

_We share the same soul_

_Oh oh oh ohh_

_We share the same soul_

_Oh oh oh ohh_

_We share the same soul_

_Oh oh oh ohh_

_Oh oh oh ohh_

_Mmm mmm mmm mmm_

Zoe glanced behind her, but the huge room was crowded now. Boys and girls were cheering and clapping.

"Say yes already!" someone yelled.

"Yeah, he gave you what you wanted, also added a balloon, chocolate!" someone added.

Zoe was on the edge of losing it. She stopped to take a deep breath, hoping to calm herself.

"Izumi Orimoto, he said her full name, the strangest expression crossing his face. "What do you _say_?"

She could feel the blank incomprehension on her face. "Yes."

"Finally!"

Everybody jumped and shouted for joy they went back to the cafeteria to continue their lunch, Takuya, Koji, JP, Zoe and Koichi stayed at the gym.

"Then…_do you still guilty?_" Koji asked.

"Didn't I?" Zoe raised an eyebrow.

"You're a genius Koji, you made it more official!" Takuya tackled Koji with a hug.

"Anything to make Zoe happy," Koji said, voice soft, eyes fierce.

"Well, it did made my day"—Zoe shuddered—"even I _was _in the bad mood, you still made my day. Obviously, I was touched."

"Ex plus ex equal…," JP muttered then, distracted. His voice was so low Zoe wasn't sure he heard it right.

"Lovers." Koji and Koichi said at the same moment.

"What are the odds?" Takuya puts his hand on Zoe's shoulder.

"The odds are always stacked against us. Mistake after mistakes. I'll never criticize Takuya again." She responded as she put down Takuya's hands down.

"But I still understand," Koichi said. "Why were you so furious when Takuya ignored you for two days?"

"Two days?" JP repeated.

"That's my whole point. So what?" Zoe replied.

"Excuse me?" JP responded.

"So what if I _was _mad?" Zoe snapped.

They stared at her dubiously for a long moment before answering. "You still love Takuya, don't you?" Koji pointed out.

"I don't remember _anything _saying that." Including the words that had negated all the rest.

Takuya brushed the tip of his hot finger against her lower lip. "Zoe, actions speaks louder than words." He closed his eyes, shaking his head back and forth with half smile on his beautiful face. It wasn't a happy smile.

"But there comes a time where in words speaks clearer than actions." Zoe fought back.

Koji, JP and Koichi gave them an aww's.

"You know Zoe…" Koichi's head swam as Zoe looked for the appropriate word. "The more you hate…"

"The more you love." JP continued. That worked. Takuya and Zoe couldn't make sense of what they were saying.

Takuya stared deep into her eyes with his sincere, earnest gaze. "I do love Zoe, but as a friend."

"While I'm a good liar, Takuya, I have to be," Zoe chuckled.

Everybody froze. Zoe's muscles locking down as if for impact. The fault line in her chest rippled; the pain of it took her breath away.

Zoe shook Takuya's hand, trying to loosen his rigid pose. "Let's eat! I'm a good eater as well." She winced then they slide through the cafeteria followed by the others.

_**After School (at the gym)**_

"A clean day," Zoe stretched her arms.

"You make a pretty good organizer, Zoe," Takuya praised.

"A decorator," Koji added.

"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be next to impossible," Zoe grabbed her backpack.

"I could see our tomorrow," Takuya exclaimed.

"Then I guess we need to recharge our battery," JP yawned.

"Yeah, I feel sleepy," Koichi followed JP out of the campus.

"See you tomorrow night, Zoe," Koji waved goodbye.

And then they were two.

"I can't believe you blurted them you're a good liar," Takuya hissed. "You're a terrible liar, Zoe,, and you know that."

"I can lie better than last year," Zoe punched Takuya's arm playfully.

"Lie to me, please," he ordered.

"I'm sorry, what?"

He exhaled sharply.

"Just prattle about something unimportant," he clarified.

"Um." She wracked her brain for something trivial. "Ivan's taking me to prom."

"What?"

"Who wouldn't like Ivan?" she questioned. "He's quiet good-looking. He's not dumb. He's pretty cool. We look awesome together."

He didn't answer. She was too shocked to form a rational response.

"Jealous much?" she hissed. "I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly _believed _that Ivan's taking me to the prom. The most absurd, ridiculous concept—as if there were any way that _I _would agree for Ivan to take me to the _prom!_"

He was still frozen. Her words were incomprehensible, because they were impossible.

She shook his shoulder, not hard, but enough that his teeth rattled a little.

"Takuya," she sighed. "Really, what were you thinking!" she said, and she laughed once—a hard laugh, frustrated. "Here's the truth. I'm going to run over Ivan tomorrow before the dance?"

The corner of his mouth twitched.

"Why?"

"He's telling everyone that he's taking me to prom—and he thinks _prom_ is somehow the correct way to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. So I figure if I endanger his life, then we're even, and he can't keep trying to make amends. I don't need enemies and maybe her ex-girlfriend would back off if he left me alone…," she babbled on. "If he's paralyzed from the neck down, he can't go to the prom, either," she muttered, refining her plan.

Takuya sighed.

"See, I can lie better this time."

"Not really."

"Then why were you so silent then?"

"I was…thinking."

"I'll ask you a question and you answer it directly."

"Okay."

"Do love someone more than me?"

"No."

"Do you still love me?"

"YES!" Takuya widened his eyes and blush tomato red. "As a friend," he added.

"So you still love me after all," she whispered, her face paler than her usual pale. "Why can you believe the life but not the truth?"

"It never made sense for you," he explained, his voice breaking twice. "I always knew that."

Her eyes narrowed, her jaw tightened.

"Grrr…" he groaned. "All of what's happening doesn't mean anything!"

"Why so defensive?"

"Whatever," he muttered. "See ya tomorrow night Zoe." Then he left Zoe alone in the gym.

"What was I saying?" she caught her face securely between her hands, ignoring her struggles when she tried to turn away.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid Girl." She scolded herself. "I hate myself."

She stopped, and she climbed out of the campus and fumbled her way back home, looking at herself in the mirror when she got home.

**i'm trying to forget that i'm addicted to the game 'PLANTS VS. ZOMBIES'! try it and ya'll know what i mean!**


	27. Dance

**heartbreaker: correction, Takuya challenged her to lie which Zoe lied that Ivan't going to take her to the prom (not true). But the truth is she's going to run over to Ivan...blah, blah, blah-and hey! level 5 na aq sa plants vs. zombies! bandang roof na aq! **

**Enjoy the chapter people of world...in tagalog MGA MADLANG PEOPLE!  
**

Before Zoe fell asleep, she pinned the red shaped-balloon near her mirror. She grabbed the chocolate and the love letter. She sat on her bed and took a bite of the chocolate while she read the letter:

_**When I first saw you I was afraid to talk to you. When I first talked to you I was afraid to like you. When I first liked you I was afraid to love you. When I first loved you I was afraid to lose you—**_

"Haven't I heard or read this already?" Zoe muttered and took another bite of the chocolate. "Sweet chocolate!" Zoe exclaimed as she finished up the chocolate and continued reading:

_**You're the song I tried to sing and the note that I couldn't hit—**_

"Seriously, I think I've already read this but I can't remember where, when and how," she complained and continued.

_**I'm so sorry—sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I am. And it didn't work. I'm sorry.**_

_**Yesterday, when I would touch you, you were so…hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt you too much? Because you have moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be…quiet fair. I won't contest your decision. So don't worry to spare your feelings.**_

_**I love you Zoe—as a friend. **_

_**See you at the Dance.**_

_**Takuya.**_

Zoe folded the letter carefully, and put it in her memory box. And then she carefully sealed away her heart.

_**One Hour before the Dance Starts**_

Zoe chose a pale pink dress that draped around her tall frame nicely and brought out honey tints in her blond hair. Zoe wore her pink strappy heels—she was overjoyed to have a date tall enough that she could wear high heels at all. She held her leg out, twisting her ankle to get a better view of the shoe.

Zoe strikes a pose at the stairs while Nathan took her a picture.

"You look so much like your mother," Nathan commented. "It reminded me the our first date."

"Thanks." She threw a mocking smile in his direction, and hugged him.

"Yes." She grinned again. And the door bell rang. "Oh. That must be Takuya." She half-run to answer the door.

Zoe had never seen Takuya dress like that before because she didn't attend the Christmas Ball, and, with the contrast against his tan skin, his beauty was absolutely surreal. That much she couldn't deny, even if that he was wearing a tuxedo mad her very nervous.

Not quite as nervous as the dress. Or the shoe. But the stiletto heel, held on only by satin ribbons, certainly going to held her as she tried to walk around.

"Looks like someone's been treated like a Guinea Pig Barbie tonight," Takuya griped. She'd spent the better part of the day in her staggeringly vast bathroom, as she played hairdresser and cosmetician. She dressed herself in the most beautiful dress—some deep red, frilly and off the shoulders, with French tags she couldn't read—some dresses more suitable for a runaway than Shibuya. Nothing good could come of their formal attire, of that she was sure. Unless…but she was afraid to put her suspicious words, even in her own head.

She was distracted then by the sound of Takuya.

"Hello, Mr. Orimoto," he said warily.

"Takuya," Nathan smiled.

Nathan had been…easy since her return from Thailand during Christmas. He had compartmentalized her good experience.

Something Nathan was saying made Takuya's eyes widen in disbelief, and then a grin spread across their faces.

"I'm sorry if there's been kind of miscommunication because Zoe's unavailable to night!" Takuya laughed. "No offense. And I'm sorry about your evening." He didn't sound sorry at all. And then a huge smirk on Zoe's face.

Zoe's face and neck flashed crimson with humor.

They looked at her in surprise. "It is okay if you can take my girl to _the prom._" Nathan said.

"My father just says what?" Zoe almost yelled rapidly.

It was embarrassingly obvious now. If she'd been paying any attention at all, she'd sure she would have noticed the date on the posters that decorated the school buildings. But she'd never dreamed Nathan was thinking of subjecting her to this. Didn't know her at all?

They weren't expecting the force of her reaction, which was clear. Takuya pressed his lips together and his eyes narrowed. "Don't be difficult, Zoe." Nathan said. "I trust him already."

Zoe's eyes flashed to Takuya.

"Why are you doing this to me?" she demanded in horror.

Takuya gestured to his tuxedo. "Honesty, Zoe, what did you think we were doing?"

She was mortified. First, because she'd missed the obvious. And also because the vague expression—expectations really—that she'd been forming all day, as she tried to transform her into a beauty queen, were so far wide of the mark.

She remembered with dismay that she was wearing mascara and wore waterproof makeup.

"This is completely ridiculous. I'm not going to the prom." She said in frustration.

"Because you like _him_?" Nathan pointed out.

"Dad." She turned the full force of her scorching emerald eyes on her Dad.

"What?" Nathan muttered, distracted.

"Do wanna be late?" Takuya insisted.

"Humor me," Zoe muttered.

Takuya's eyes were melting all her fury. It was impossible to fight with them when Takuya and Nathan cheated like that. She gave in with poor grace.

"Fine," she pouted, unable to glare as effectively as she would have liked. "I'll approve quietly. But you'll see. I'm way overdue for more bad luck. It's a death trap!" and Takuya and Zoe left the house.

_**At the gym**_

"Hmmm." Takuya stared Zoe. "Remind me to thank Koji for yesterday tonight again."

"Do the others have a date?" That comforted her slightly.

"Koji's with Natalie. Koichi's with Alex. And…JP's with Dylan," he admitted.

The feeling of comfort disappeared. There had been progress with Koji, she as on quite good terms with him a lot. They enjoyed having each other around—Koji thought her reactions were hilarious…or maybe it was just the fact that she fell down a lot that he found her so funny. They acted as if they're brother or sisters. While Zoe shook her head to dispel the direction her thoughts had taken, she thought something else.

"May I ask why you didn't come to the Christmas Ball?" he asked, suddenly suspicious.

"I wanted to visit my grandparents earlier." She grinned as she lied, and then chuckled.

"Apparently you're lying, aren't you?"

Zoe gritted her teeth. How Takuya could be so delusional, she couldn't imagine. At gym, Takuya and Zoe were inseparable.

The clouds were thin today, a few streaks of sunlight escaping through far away in the west.

Zoe folded her arms stubbornly, feeling a secret twinge of smugness. The gym was crowded with people in formal dress: witnesses.

Takuya pinned a red rose into her elaborately styled curls. He ignored the angry set of her mouth. Takuya sighed. "When someone doesn't believe you, you're brave as a lion—" he shook his head.

Zoe gulped.

"I won't let go of you once today, I promise Zoe."

Zoe thought about that and suddenly felt much better. He could see that in her face.

"There, now," he said gently, "it won't be so bad." He wrapped one arm, around her waist. She took his other hand.

He kept his arm tightly around her.

In Thailand, they held proms in hotel ballrooms. This dance was in the gym, of course. It was probably the only room in town big enough for a dance. Zoe giggled. There were actual balloon arches and twisted garlands of pastel crepe paper festooning walls.

"This looks like a romance movie waiting to happen," Zoe snickered.

"Well," he muttered as they slowly approached the table—"you look _beautiful _in curls."

Zoe looked at the dance floor; a wide gap formed in the center of the floor, where two couples whirled gracefully. The other dancers pressed to the sides of the room to give them space—no one wanted to stand in contrast with such radiance. The twins were intimidating with flawless in classic tuxedos. Zoe pitied every girl in the room, herself included.

"To be perfectly honest, I'm not a pretty much dancer," she whispered conspiratorially.

"Really?" He glared. "That's weird, I always see you dancing with different kinds of types every day."

"Oh, I don't' even remember those moved, of course."

He smiled reluctantly. "Neither am I."

"But I would usually step on your foot."

They turned toward the dance floor. Zoe cringed against his arm.

"Then I will do my best to avoid you," he winked.

Eventually they towed their selves out to where their friends were twirling elegantly—if in style totally unsuitable to the present time and music. Zoe watched in amazed.

"Takuya." Her throat was so dry she could only manage to whisper. "I _honestly _can't dance!" She could feel the panic bubbling inside her chest.

"Don't worry, silly," he whispered back. "You'll remember the _moves_." He put her arms around his neck.

And then they were whirling, too.

"I feel like I'm five years old," she laughed after a few minutes of full effort waltzing.

"You look five," murmured, pulling her closer for a second.

Koji caught her eye on a turn and smiled in encouragement—she smiled back. She was surprised that he was actually enjoying herself.

"Okay, this isn't half bad," she admitted.

"Wanna get some drink?" Takuya wondered aloud.

Zoe nodded, looking at him intently before Takuya turned to walk away.

"Hey, Zoe, I was hoping you would like to dance with me." Koji's smile was just as warn as ever.

"I don't mind." Zoe smiled back.

Koji put his hands on her waist, and Zoe reached up to put her hands on his shoulders.

And then they were taking one step at a time.

"Wow, the two are getting close again," Koji teased.

Zoe was smug. "Don't push it."

"I thought you don't know how to dance?" he asked without true curiosity.

"Can you believe Takuya made me remember my moves?" she admitted, slightly ashamed.

"Yes, I can," he muttered. "Well, I hope you're enjoying yourself, at least. Seen anything you like?" she teased, nodding toward a group of girls lined up against the wall like pastel confections.

"Yeah," he sighed. "But she's taken."

He glanced down to meet her curious gaze for just a second—then they both looked away, embarrassed.

"You look really pretty, by the way," he added shyly.

"I did mention that you looked very nice, didn't I?" she verified. "Um, thanks. So, what do you mean she's taken?" she asked quickly, though she knew the answer.

Koji didn't seem grateful for the subject change; he looked away, uncomfortable again. "I mean, she likes somebody. I swear I'm losing mind."

She joined his laughter weakly.

"Anyway, is that girl you're talking about someone you're dancing with now?"

"Technically yes," he confessed with a sheepish grin.

"Why don't you look hard enough on girls?" she grinned back.

Against the wall, Takuya was watching her face, his own face expressionless. He saw a sophomore in a pink dress eyeing him with timid speculation, but he didn't seem to be aware of her.

Koji looked away again, ashamed. "Don't get mad, okay?"

"There's no way I'll be mad at you, Koji," she assured him. "You just said what you have to."

"Well—this is so stupid, I'm sorry, Zoe."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"Yeah. I was…king of over top on this…" Koji trailed off self-consciously.

"I know that," Zoe said quickly.

Takuya wouldn't meet her eyes. Though his hands were still on her waist, and Zoe's were around her neck.

"Look, Koji, I know you probably won't believe this but just so you know"—he looked at her know, responding to the new earnestness in her voice—"No matter what happened, you'll always be my best friend."

"I know," he claimed, but he sounded like her sincere words had affected him some.

"Hey, I'm sorry if that affected you, Koji," she apologized. "At any rate, we're best friends, right?"

"Yeah," he muttered.

"There's more?" she asked in disbelief.

"Forget it," he mumbled.

She glared at him until he met her gaze. "Just spit it out, Koji."

"It's so bad."

"I don't care. Tell, me," she insisted.

"Okay…but, geez, this sounds bad." He shook his head. "I get jealous, no, _pretty _jealous, when—Takuya's around you"—he lifted one hand from her waist and made a little quotations marks in the air—"It really makes me so bad." He watched warily for her reaction.

Zoe laughed out loud.

"I feel sorry for that," she snickered.

"I don't mind _that _much." He grinned in relief. His eyes appraising as they raked quickly over her dress. "I should butt the hell out."

"No," she sighed. "Thanks. I know you mean well."

The song ended, and she dropped her arms.

His hands hesitated at her waist. "Do you want to dance again?"

Takuya answered for her. "That's all right, Koji. I'll take it from here."

Koji flinched, and stared wide-eye at Takuya, who stood just beside them.

"Hey, I didn't see you there," he mumbled. "I guess I'll see you around, Zoe." He stepped back, waving half-heartedly.

She smiled. "Yeah, I'll see you later."

"Sorry," he said again before he turned for her date.

After Zoe gulped her drink they continued dancing.

Takuya's arms wound around her as the next song started. It was a little up-tempo for slow dancing, but that didn't seem to concern him. She leaned her head against his chest, content.

"Feeling better?" she teased.

"Not really," he said tersely.

"Don't be mad at Koji," she sighed. "He just worries about me for my sake. It's nothing personal."

"I'm not mad at Koji," he corrected in a clipped voice. "But his irritating me."

She pulled back to look at him. His face was very serious.

"You're jealous, aren't you?"

"First of all, why would I be?"

She stared at him in confusion.

She half-smiled. "Admit it Takuya, you still like me _more _that a friend," she explained.

"Oh. Well, thanks for saying that. But there's something else." Takuya frowned.

She waited patiently.

"He called you _pretty,_" he finally continued, his frown deepening. "That's practically an insult, the way you look right now. You're much more than beautiful."

She laughed. "You might be a little biased."

"I don't think that's it.

They were twirling again, he held her close.

"So are you going to explain the reason for all for this?" she wondered.

He looked down at her, confused, and she glared meaningfully at the crepe paper.

He considered for a moment, and then changed direction, spinning her through the crowd to the back door of the gym. She caught a glimpse of Koichi with Alex dancing, staring at her curiously. Alex waved, and she smiled back quickly. Dylan was there, too, looking blissfully happy in the arms of JP; she didn't look from his eyes, a head lower than hers. Koji and Natalie, glaring toward Takuya and Zoe; she could name every face that spiraled past her. And they were outdoors, in the cool, dim light, of a fading sunset.

As soon as they were alone, Takuya swung her up into his arms, and carried her across the dark grounds till he reached the bench beneath the shadow of the madrone trees. He sat there, keeping her cradled against his chest. The moon was already up, visible through the gauzy clouds and his face glowed tan in the white light. His mouth was hard, his eyes troubled.

"The point?" she prompted softly.

He ignored her, staring up at the moon.

"No matter how perfect the day is, it always had to end." He murmured.

"Some things don't have to end," she muttered through her teeth, instantly tense.

"I asked you to the Dance," he said slowly, finally answering her question, "because I didn't get to dance with you last Christmas Dance. I don't want my presence to take anything away from you, if I can help it."

Zoe shuddered at his words. He smiled briefly, but it didn't touch his eyes. "It wasn't so bad, you said so yourself."

"That's because I was with you."

They were quiet for a minute; he stared at the moon and he stared at him.

'Will you tell me something?" he asked, glancing down at her with a slight smile.

'Don't I always?"

"Just promise you'll tell me," he insisted, grinning.

"Fine."

"You seemed honestly surprised when I sang you a song yesterday," he began.

"I _was,_" she interjected.

"Exactly," he agreed. "But you must have had some other theory…I'm curious—what did you _think? _I will let other boys dance with you to the dance?"

She pursed her lips, hesitating. "I don't want to tell you."

"You promised," he objected.

"I know."

"What's the problem?"

She knew he thought it was mere embarrassment holding her back. "I think it will make you mad—or sad."

His brows pulled together over his eyes as he thought that through. "I still want to know. Please?"

She sighed. He waited.

"No…more…I want to be free…we're free!" she scoffed.

"Free?" he asked flatly. He'd picked up on the key word.

She looked down at her dress, fidgeting with stray piece of chiffon. He waited in silence.

A dozen emotions played across his face. Some she recognized: anger…pain…and then he seemed to collect himself and his expression became amused.

"You thought that I still want you back, didn't you?" he teased, touching the lapel of his tuxedo jacket.

She scowled to hide her embarrassment. "I don't know how these will work out. To me, at least, it seems rational. He was still grinning. "It's not funny," she said,

"No, you're right, it's not," he agreed, his smile fading. "I'd rather treat it like a joke, though, than believe you're serious."

"But I ma serious."

He sighed deeply. "I know."

The pain was back in his eyes. She bit her lip and nodded.

"I'm not worth it," he murmured, almost to himself.

"You obviously have the same blindness," she said sadly.

"I know what I am," he raised his eyebrows.

Both of them smiled.

"I will hold your hand through the things that make you nervous," he said with a sour edge to his mocking tone.

"While I give you my expert advice on all your automotive questions." She said.

"That's enough for forever." He answered smiling.

**woohoo! GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO IS NOW OFFICIALLY GONE! MABUHAY SI NOYNOY AQUINO! NOY-BI!**

**before i leave, let's have a trivia: THE PRESIDENCY IS NOYNOY AQUINO'S DESTINY - The Congress proclaims Aquino and Binay the duly elected president and vice president of the republic *clap, clap, clap***

**attention. attention. attention. sorry for the incovinience. the good news is Aquino is now the president of the republic of the PHILIPPINES'. the bad news is ERAP is being a plastic i think.**

**don't 4get to read/review! **


	28. Forced

**(My Question. Your Answer.) Question: how do you thanks a person if you only understand what they taught you now? *think. think. think* **

_**After Graduation**_

"You can't be serious," Zoe said Wednesday afternoon. "You've completely lost your mind!"

"Say whatever you like about me," Koji answered. "The party is still on."

She stared at his eyes, her eye so wide with disbelief it felt like they might fall out and land on her organizer.

"Oh, calm down, Zoe! There's no reason not to go through with it. Besides, the invitations are already sent."

"But…the…you…I…insane!" she spluttered.

"You've already bought my present," he reminded her. "You don't have to do anything by show up."

She made an effort to calm herself. "With everything that is going on right now, a party is hardly appropriate."

"We've graduated is what's going on right now, and a party at school is what's going on at the gym is so appropriate it's almost passé."

"Koji!"

He sighed, and tried to be serious. "There are a few things we need to get in order now, and that's going to take a little time. As long as we're sitting here waiting, we might as well commemorate the good stuff. We've graduated from high school—for the first time—once, Zoe. This is once-in-a-lifetime shot."

Takuya, Koichi and JP, silent through their little argument, flashed Koji a warning look. Koji stuck out her tongue at him. Koji was right—his soft voice would never carry over the babble of the gym. And no one would understand the meaning behind his words in case.

"What few things do we need to get in order?" Zoe asked, refusing the sidetracked.

Takuya answered in low voice. "Koichi thinks we could use some help."

"Our _ex-_classmates agreed to help us…" JP added.

"Of course, the organizer is you, just like what you did at the Valentine's Ball and the prom," Koichi said.

Koji shuddered delicately.

"It shouldn't be too hard to convince them to help," Takuya continued. "Everybody wants a graduation party."

"But I'm not into this kind of stuffs anymore," Zoe protested. "Koji only forced me at the Ball and the prom."

"Oh c'mon, Zoe," Takuya put his arms on Zoe's shoulders, suddenly full of expression.

"Yeah, don't be a party pooper," Koichi pouted.

"Koji forced you not once, not twice, and this will be the thrice," JP noted.

"Here? At the gym?" Zoe asked.

"We're friends," Koji reassured her. "Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry."

Takuya's eyes brightened at that, and a brief smile flashed across his face. Zoe's stomach suddenly felt like it was full of sharp little splinters of ice.

"When's the party going?" she asked in a hollow voice. She couldn't stand this—the idea of her friends. Her friends cheered.

"A week," Takuya said causally. "That ought to give us enough time."

The icy splinters twisted uncomfortably in her stomach. She was suddenly nauseated.

"You look kind of green, Zoe," JP commented.

Takuya put his arm around Zoe and pulled her tightly against his side. "It's going to be fine, Zoe. Trust us."

_Sure, _she thought herself. Trust them. And then it occurred it to her.

"I hate this part right here," she said slowly.

"Don't give me that attitude." Koji's head cocked to the side she he processed the change in her tone.

Zoe looked only at Koji as she answered. Her voice was just slightly louder than a whisper. "Can _I _skip the party?"

Takuya's body was suddenly rigid; his arm was too tight around her. He exhaled, and the sound was a hiss.

But it was Koji, still calm, who answered. "That really wouldn't be _helpful._"

"Why not?" she argued; she could hear the desperation in her voice. "You're better off without me," she excused.

"What are you avoiding, Zoe?" Koichi disagreed coolly.

"Do you remember how we described you when Koji forced to the prom?" JP recalled.

"We'd be no good without you," Koichi reminded. "Especially at this incoming party," he added.

"Takuya would get hurt." Koji folded his arms across his chest, pleased with his unassailable logic. Takuya eyed him.

Zoe slumped to the seat, her sudden hope defeated. Beside her, Takuya relaxed.

"Not because you're afraid of me, aren't you?"

"In your dreams," Zoe shoved Takuya's arm.

"Oh," Koji said, and a blank look crossed her face. Then his expression became surly. "So that puts the party attendance list down to sixty-five…"

"_Sixty five!_" Takuya, JP and Koichi's exclaimed at the same time and their eyes bulged.

"I didn't have that many friends." JP wondered.

"Did I even know that many people?" Koichi raised an eyebrow.

"It's a senior's Party, Koichi," Koji snapped.

"I thought only us in the class?" Zoe gasped.

"It's a surprise for our graduation."

For a moment, Zoe just let herself enjoy the relief.

_**Party**_

"Zoe?"

Takuya's soft voice came from behind her. She turned to see him spring lightly in the gym, his hair windblown from running.

"Let's get this stupid party over with," she mumbled not meeting is eyes.

"Takuya won't let anything happen to you," Koji teased.

"I'm not worried about myself so much," she snickered.

"Why am I not surprise?" JP muttered to himself. Koichi took a deep breath, and then he smiled slightly.

"Ready to celebrate?" he asked.

Zoe groaned.

He held the door of the gym, Zoe stood frozen there for a minute, and then she slowly shook her head.

"Unbelievable."

Takuya shrugged. "Koji will be Koji."

The interior of the gym had been transformed into a nightclub—the kind that didn't often exist in real life, only on TV.

"Zoe!" Koji called from beside a gigantic speaker. "I need your advice." He gestured toward a towering stack of CDs. "Should we give them familiar and comforting? Or"—he gestured to a different pile—"educate their taste in music?"

"Keep it comforting," Zoe recommended. "You can only lead the horse to water."

Koji nodded seriously, and started throwing the educational CDs into a box. He noticed that Zoe had changed into a sequined tank top and red leather pants. Her bare skin reacted oddly to the pulsing red and purple lights.

"I think I'm underdressed."

"You're perfect," Takuya disagreed.

"You'll do," Koji amended.

"Thanks," she sighed. "Do you really think people will come?" Anyone could hear the hope in her voice. Koji made a face at her.

"Everyone will come," JP answered.

"They're all dying to see the inside of the reclusive gym's mystery nightclub," Koichi admired the decorations of Zoe.

"Fabulous," she moaned.

She doubted that—even after she didn't need sleep and moved at a much faster speed—she would ever be able to get things done the way Koji did.

All at once everything was surreally normal. A perfect smile, genuine and warm, replaced the stress on Takuya's face. Koji turned the volume of the music up, and then danced hip-hop to give the visitors some hi-five.

It was suburban-load of their friends, either too nervous or too intimidated to arrive on their own. They all were curious, and then overwhelmed as they took in the huge room decked out like a chic rave. Tonight Zoe felt like she was acting every bit as much as her friends were.

She went to greet Natalie and Alex, hoping the edge in her voice sounded like the right kind of excitement. Before she could get some anyone else, another crowd came. She let them in, leaving the gym's door wide, because the others were just reaching steps.

She didn't get another chance to panic. She had to talk to everyone, concentrate on being upbeat, a hostess. Though the party had been billed as a joint event for Takuya, Koji, and Zoe, there was no denying that she was the most popular target for congratulations and thanks. Maybe because Takuya looked just slightly wrong under Koji's party lights. Maybe because those lights left the room dim and mysterious. Not an atmosphere to make their average human feel relaxed when standing next to someone like JP. She saw JP grin at Dylan over the food table, the red light gleaming off his teeth, and watched Dylan take an automatic step forward.

Probably Koji had done this n purpose, to force her into the center of attention—a place he thought she should enjoy more. He was forever trying to make her be happy the way he though she should be.

The party was a clear success, despite the instinctive edginess—or maybe that simply added a thrill to the atmosphere. The music was infectious, the lights almost hypnotic. From the way the food disappeared, that must be very good, too. The entire room was soon crowded, through never claustrophobic. The entire senior class seemed to be there, along with most of the juniors. Bodies swayed to the beat of the rumbled under the soles of their feet, the party constantly on the edge of breaking into a dance.

It wasn't as hard Zoe had thought it would be. She followed Koji's lead, mingling and chatting for a minute with everyone. They seemed easy enough o please. She was sure this party was far cooler than the town of Shibuya had experienced before. Koji was almost purring—no one here would forget this night.

Zoe circled the room once, and was back to Natalie. She babbled excitedly, and it was not necessary to pay strict attention, because the odds were she wouldn't needed response from her anytime soon. Takuya was at her side.

"Stay here," he murmured in her ear. "I'll be right back."

He passed gracefully through the crowd without seeming to touch any of the close-packed bodies. Natalie shouted over the music eagerly, hanging on to her elbow, oblivious to her distraction.

She stretched up on her toes, craning her neck. She ducked her way through the bodies, getting shoved around a bit. A few people were dancing now.

Takuya was gone, but Koji was still in the dark.

"What's up with Takuya, Koji?"

The gym's door just open then, hours after the last time, and Koji looked up with a puzzled expression that quickly turned into one of disgust.

"Who invited Austin?" he griped at me.

Zoe raised an eyebrow. "Koji just say what?"

"Well, you go take care of it, then. I don't wanna have a fight."

"No, Koji, wait!" She tried to reach for his arm, but she was gone and her hand clutched the empty air.

"Damn it!" she grumbled.

"Hey, Zoe!"

The Austin's deep voice caught a lull in the music, and Zoe looked up in spite of herself at the sound of her name.

She made a face.

It wasn't just one bully, it was three. Austin had let himself in, flanked on either side by his two brothers. The two of them looked terribly tense, their eyes flickering around the room like they'd just walked into a haunted crypt.

Austin was waving at her, calmer than the others, though his nose was wrinkled in disgust. She waved back—waved goodbye—and turned to run away from him. She squeezed through a space.

He came out of nowhere, his hand on Zoe's shoulder pulling her back toward the shadow. She ducked under his grip, but the he grabbed her wrist and yanked her from the crowd.

"Friendly reception," she noted.

Zoe pulled her hand free and scowled at her. "What are you _doing _here?"

"Why is it I'm the only one who's not invited?"

"In case my right looks subtle for you, let me translate: this is me giving you an invitation to _get _out."

"Don't be a poor sport."

Zoe folded her arms across her chest. She didn't want to fight with Austin right now. She craned her head around Austin, searching a way to get away from him.

"Take your butt out of this gym, Austin. I've got to do something…"

She stepped into her line of sight, demanding her attention.

"I can't do that. I always get what I want—nobody tell me what to do. It took me a really long time to find about this party."

She leaned around him again, but she couldn't find any way. Her eyes scanned the darkened room.

"Oh, c'mon Zoe. Don't pretend like I'm not here!

"_Nobody _tells me what to do." She couldn't see one of her friends anywhere. "Look, Austin, I've got a lot on my mind right now."

He put his hands under her chin and pulled her face up. "Could I please have just a few seconds of your undivided attention, Miss Orimoto?"

She jerked away from his touch. "Keep your hands to yourself, Austin," she hissed.

"I like tough girls," he said at once, holding her hands.

"Tough—what a perfect description!" She tried to pull her hands away but he squeezed her hands tightly and squeezing out of the crowd.

"Be nice, you know."

"Do you wanna be punched like I did to you last time?"

"Do it," he mumbled.

"I can't wait to see what Takuya does to you! I hope he snaps your neck, you pushy, obnoxious, moronic PIG!"

Austin rolled his eyes. Still pulling her out of the gym.

Takuya appeared quite literally out of nowhere. One second it was just Zoe against the wall, JP and Koichi blocking Austin's exit, and then Takuya was standing on the other side of Austin's arm, his expression terrifying. Koji put his back in front of Zoe.

"Looks like Zoe got some real friends here," Austin muttered, glaring at Takuya.

Takuya stepped in between them, and the three uninvited visitors braced themselves.

"Hey, hey," Zoe said, adding a slightly hysterical chuckle. "This is a party, remember?"

Nobody paid any attention to her. Austin glared at Takuya while Koji glared at Austin. Zoe's face was suddenly thoughtful.

"Just leave, Austin, please," Zoe choked out.

Austin didn't respond; his brothers headed impatiently out of the gym. He didn't respond; he hurried to catch up with his brothers, who were already gone.

"That was close," Koichi whistled.

"Are you okay?" Takuya asked Zoe.

"I'm okay," Zoe lied as she moved her now-broken wrists.

"Back to work," JP went into the other side along came Koichi while Koji went back near the gigantic stereo.

Takuya was staring at the floor, hiding his eyes. His lower lip jutted out just a little bit.

"I guess Austin was right about my _real _friends," she said in the same defeated tone.

Zoe groaned. "Aw, Zoe, you shouldn't have said that."

"Don't I?"

"Maybe you _should_." Zoe leaned forward, peering up, trying to look into his eyes. He looked up then, over her head, avoiding her gaze.

"Takuya?"

He refused to look at her.

"Um. I brought you a graduation present," he blushed a little as he raised what he was hiding. "As you can see, I can't take it back to the store, Zoe, because I didn't get it from the store—I made it myself. Took a really long time, too," he explained.

"A present?" He rolled his eyes and then grimaced at her.

She held her hand open in front of her. "I'm waiting."

"Right," he grumbled sarcastically. But he also reached into the back of his pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small bag of a loose-woven, multi-colored fabric. It was tied shut with leather drawstrings. He set it on her palm.

"Hey, that's pretty, Takuya. Thanks!"

He sighed. "The present is _inside, _Zoe."

"Oh."

She had some trouble with the strings. He sighed again and took it from her, sliding the ties open with one easy tug of the right cord. She held her hand for it, but he turned the bag upside down and shook something silver into her hand. Metal links clinked quietly against each other.

"Shinya helped me with the bracelet," he admitted, "but I did make the charm all by myself."

Fastened to one of the links of the silver bracelet was a tiny wooden carving. She held it between her fingers to look at it closer. It was amazing the amount of detail involved in the little figuring—the miniature heart was utterly realistic. It was even carved out of some red-brown wood that matched the color of his skin.

"It's beautiful," she whispered. "You _made _this? How?"

He shrugged. "It's something Mom taught me. Shinya's better at it than I am."

"That's hard to believe," she murmured, turning the tiny heart around and around in her fingers.

"Do you really like it?"

"Yes! It's unbelievable, Takuya."

He smiled, happily at first, but then the expression soured. "Well, I figured that maybe it would make you remember me once in a while. You know how it is, out of sight, out of mind.

She ignored the attitude. "Here, help me put it on."

She held out her left wrist, since the right was stuck in the brace. He fastened the catch easily, though it looked too delicate for his big fingers to manage.

"You'll wear it?"

"Of course I will."

He grinned at me—it was the happy smile that she loved to see him wear.

She let her hands down then it there was a crunching sound.

"Ow! _OW!_" she screamed, frantically hopping up and down in agony while she clutched her hand to her chest. It was definitely now broke, she could feel it.

Takuya stared at her in shock. "Are you all right?"

"No, dammit! _I broke my hand!_"

"Zoe, _Austin _broke your hand. Now stop dancing around and let me look at it."

"Don't touch me! I'm going home right now!"

"I'll come with you," he said calmly.

"No, thanks," she hissed. "I'll walk alone." She turned toward the gym's door.

"Just let me walk you home," Takuya insisted. Unbelievably, he had the nerve to wrap his arm around her waist.

She jerked away from him.

"Never mind!" she growled. "I don't wanna be a party pooper and burst all of your bubbles."

Takuya rolled his eyes. He walked her to a chair and helped her sit. He was whistling.

"You should've continued the punch," he muttered. "I was really touched when you said my name."

Zoe snapped her head, furious and annoyed.

"Are you kidding? Before you started screaming, I've have figured out that your wrist is hurt. I may not be made out of stone, but I'm not _that _soft.

"Takuya I…no, this is nothing."

"Don't lie to me, you suck at lying. You should've told me about that," he said.

"I hate you, Takuya Kanbara."

"That's good. Hate is a passionate emotion."

"I'll give you passionate," she muttered under her breath. "Murder, the ultimate crime of passion."

"Oh c'mon," he said, all cheery and looking like he was about to start whistling again. "That had to be better than acting."

"Not even remotely close," she told him coldly.

He pursed his lips. "You could just be saying that."

"But I'm not."

That seemed to bother him for a second, but then he perked up. "What are you mad about?"

"Ugh," she groaned.

"You're going to think about it tonight. When he thinks you're asleep, you'll be thinking your options."

"If I think about you tonight, it will be because I'm having a _nightmare._"

He turned to stared at her with his brown eyes wide and earnest. "Just think about it could be, Zoe," he urged in a soft, eager voice.

_Here we go again, _Zoe thought.

"You know Mr. Orimoto would be happy if you picked me. I could protect you as well—maybe better this time. And I would make you happy, Zoe. There's so much I could give you. I would never; never let anyone hurt you, Zoe."

Zoe held up her injured hand.

He sighed. "Starting now."

"Takuya, I can _be _happy without you."

"You've never tried," he disagreed. "You could be happy with me."

"I don't want to be happy with anyone like you now," she insisted.

"You'll never be able to be as sure as you are of me."

"I'm fine without you," she said through her teeth. The pain of the memory bit into her like the lash of a whip. It made her want to hurt him back. "You cheated on me once, you could do it again," she reminded him in a cold voice, thinking of the weeks he'd hidden from her, the words he'd said to her in the street.

"I was guilty, I regret that," he argued hotly. "But I didn't mean to! I used to run around your house at night—like I do now. Just making sure you were okay."

She didn't know that. She wasn't about to let him make her feel bad for him now.

He sighed.

"Just think about it, Zoe."

"No," she said stubbornly.

"You will. Tonight. And I'll be thinking about you while you're thinking about me."

"Like I said a nightmare."

He grinned over at her. "Oh, really? Then why were you saying my name a dozen times when you're asleep?"

She gasped, unthinkingly balling her hands up into fists again, hissing when her broken hand reacted.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I did _not._"

"I think I can tell the difference."

"Obviously you can't—that was me saying your name because it was a nightmare, you _idiot._"

She took a deep breath. There was no point in arguing with him; he would twist anything she sad. She concentrated on her hand, trying to stretch her fingers, to ascertain where the broken parts were. Sharp pains stabbed along her knuckles. She groaned.

"I'm really sorry about your hand," Takuya said, sounding almost sincere. "Next time Austin shows up with that attitude, use a baseball bat or a crowbar, okay?"

"Don't think I'll forget that," she muttered.

She didn't realize that Koji was coming until she looked up.

"What happened?" he said.

Zoe stood up awkwardly, heading for the cafeteria, and she was less surprised that annoyed to find Takuya and Koji beside her again.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"I am going to get some ice on my hand, and then I when the party's over I'm going to fix me hand at home. Then, if you're still here, I am going to go hunt up a crowbar."

They didn't answer. Takuya opened the door to the cafeteria and held it for her.

They walked silently past the room.

Zoe stalked on to the kitchen.

"What's wrong with her?" Koji wondered.

"Austin broke her hand," She heard Takuya tell Koji. Zoe went to the freezer and pulled out a tray of ice cubes.

"How did he do that?" As her best friend, she thought Koji ought to sound a bit less amused and a bit more concerned.

Takuya laughed. "Obviously, he squeezed really tight her hand while ago."

Koji laughed, too, and Zoe scowled while she beat the tray against the edge of the sink. The ice scattered inside the basin, and she grabbed a handful with her good hand and wrapped the cubes in the dishcloth on the counter.

"What's with the attitude?"

"Same," Takuya said, unashamed.

"Good for you," Koji congratulated him.

Zoe ground her teeth and went outside where Takuya and Koji were.

Koji spoke again. "Maybe you ought to take off, Takuya," he suggested.

"I think I'll hang out here, if you don't mind."

"You're funeral," Koji muttered.

"I can see the idiot still here," Zoe finally spoke again.

"How's your hand?" Koji asked as she walked by. Koji looked uncomfortable. Takuya lolled next to him on the table, perfectly at ease.

Zoe lifted the ice pack to show it off. "It's swelling."

"Maybe you should pick on people your own size," Koji suggested.

"Maybe," she agreed.

"Let me see," Koji murmured.

He examined her hand gently, so carefully that it caused her no pain at all.

"I think you're right about the brake," he said. "I'll take care of it," he promised. And then he called, "Takuya," his voice still quiet and even.

"Now, now," Takuya cautioned.

Takuya had himself off of the sofa. His expression was alert and eager.

"I don't want any fighting, but if you're going to order me to get the first aid kit, count me out," Takuya looked only at Koji when he spoke.

"That won't be necessary," Koji said in restrained tone.

Takuya grinned, incorrigible. "I'll take the trade any day.

Koji grimaced.

"Koji, get a baseball bat."

Koji looked at her evenly. "Enough, Zoe," he said. "I'll get the first aid kit before you wind up in a jail cell," Koji said. Koji walked out of the cafeteria.

"Don't leave me here with this break-face," Zoe said, and then Koji was gone. "Fine."

******So, what do you think? Like it hate it? Funny or boring? Read/Review! :)**


	29. Move Out

**I am so very sorry for updating late. I've been busy lately since it was the first week of school and this week, well i have sore eyes which i won't be attending school for a week maybe. (that sucks. i h8 missing school, really). Stupid freaking sore eyes! No wonder I have sore eyes, all of my cousins here have-i mean had sore eyes and now i'm the last target! **

**heartbreaker: "papanu mo papasalamatan ang tao kung ngayon mo lang naiintindihan?"**

**I hope that i will be able to update sooner or later...pray for my sore eyes to fade away guyz cuz i really hate missing school/lessons. please and thanks!**

Takuya grimaced briefly, and then he composed his face and leaned around Zoe. She glowered back.

"I hope you're hand feels better soon. I'm really sorry you're hurt."

Childish, she turned her face away from him.

She didn't look up again as Takuya walked around the table and climbed on its side, so she didn't know if Koji went to the clinic or listening behind the cafeteria's door.

"How do you feel?' Takuya asked.

"Irritated."

He chuckled. "I meant your hand."

She shrugged. "I've had worse.

"True," he agreed, and frowned.

JP and Koichi walked in the cafeteria. JP sat on the other table. JP and Koichi watched curiously as Takuya rubbed Zoe's injured hand carefully. His eyes zeroed on the hand she cradled against his chest.

JP grinned. "Fall down again, Zoe?"

She glared at him fiercely. "No, JP. Austin squeezed my hand so tight like there's no room for air."

JP and Koichi blinked, and then burst into roar of laughter.

"Shinya's going to win the bet," Koichi said smugly.

JP's laughter stopped at once, and he studied Zoe with appraising eyes.

"What bet?" She demanded, pausing.

"What's taking Koji so long?" Takuya questioned. He was staring at JP. His head shook infinitesimally.

"_What bet?_" Zoe insisted as she turned on him.

"Thanks, Koichi," he muttered as he massaged her hand.

"Takuya…," she grumbled.

"It's infantile," he shrugged. "JP and Shinya like to gamble now."

"JP will tell me." She turned to JP.

Koichi sighed. "They're betting on how many times you…slip up in the first year."

"Oh." Zoe grimaced.

Takuya squeezed her.

Zoe groaned, and Takuya, thinking it was the pain in her hand that bothered her.

Her hand _was _broken, but there wasn't any serious damage, just a tiny fissure in one knuckle. She didn't want a cast and Koji said she'd be fine in a brace if she promised to keep it on. She promised.

Takuya could tell she was out of it as Koji worked to fit a brace carefully to her hand. He worried aloud a few times that she was in pain, but she assured him that that wasn't it.

She stared at his face while he watched Koji fix her hand.

_**After the Party**_

"That had to be the longest party in the history of the world," Zoe complained.

Takuya didn't seem to disagree. "It's over now," he said, rubbing her arm soothingly.

They'd all reassured her; Koichi reached up to pat her head as she left, eyeing Takuya meaningfully until a flood of peace swirled around Zoe, Koji kissing her cheeks and promising her to get in touch, JP laughing boisterously and asking why she didn't fight with Austin…Takuya's speech had them all relaxed, almost euphoric after the long weeks of stress. Doubt had been replaced with confidence. The party had ended on a note of true celebration.

Not for Zoe.

Bad enough—horrible—that she might not be able to see any of her friends anymore. It already felt like more that she could bear.

Not Koji, too. Not Takuya's foolish, and his eager brother. Her nerves felt frayed and exposed. She didn't know how much longer she could restrain the urge to scream out loud.

She whispered now, to keep her voice under control while they're walking to Zoe's home. "I'll miss you even though we argue a lot."

"Zoe, you I will, too."

"How come you let Koji kiss you?"

As if that didn't make Zoe all the more anxious to go. "It was just a friendly kiss."

"But why not me?"

"I like Koji better."

His eyes tightened. That was a lob blow, and she knew it.

He didn't answer; they were at Nathan's house now. The front light was on.

"See ya when I see ya," she muttered.

Before she opened the front door she run to Takuya and kissed him on the cheek.

"Good night," he grinned.

Zoe grinned back and tiptoed in the front door. Nathan was asleep in the living room, overflowing the too-small sofa, and snoring loudly she could have ripped the chainsaw to life and it wouldn't have wakened him.

She shook his shoulder vigorously.

"Dad!"

He grumbled, eye still closed.

"I'm home now—you're going to hurt your back sleeping like that. C'mon, time to move."

It took a few more shakes, and his eyes never did open all the way, but she managed to get him off the couch. She helped him up on his bed, where he collapsed on the tip of the covers, fully dressed, and started snoring again.

He wasn't going to be look for her anytime soon.

Then she drifted away when get to bed. Maybe Takuya was right and she _was tired _enough to stay awake.

_**Takuya's House**_

"We're going to Los Angeles…," Takuya told to his little brother.

Shinya spit the water he was drinking.

"But…I'm…Get…I mean…what?" He spluttered. "You're impossible," he said.

Takuya laughed once—a hard laugh, frustrated. "How can I put this so that you'll come with me?"

"I'm not asleep, am I? And I'm not dead, am I?"

"You're wide awake and you're obviously not dead."

"Then why are we moving to Los Angeles?"

"There are a lot of universities located within the city limits, I was thinking of taking the exam of the California State University," Takuya explained. "There's also a high school near that school."

"I was wrong," he muttered. "This is the very blackest kind of blasphemy of my life!"

"Shinya, we're brothers, if you're sixteen then I would live you here if you want to but you're only thirteen."

"Are you insane?"

"No. Insanity is when a little brother disagrees with his big brother whom his big brother knows what's best his little brother."

"My life is just getting better here, I have a lot of buddies here, and I was born here, dammit!"

"Don't' you use that word to me, Shinya," he cautioned.

"Well, at least a rabbit is better than you."

Takuya groaned. "You could be a pain sometimes."

"I'd rather be treated like a pest than to move out."

Takuya grinned. "You know Shinya, I'd do anything for you to come with me."

"I'm not listening," Shinya whistled.

"If it takes me to be a working student, I'll do it."

"Toys are old schools."

"I'll work as a student."

"So…?"

"I'll buy you an IPod, laptop, blackberry, PSP and I've already found an apartment just for us."

Shinya snapped his eyes wide. "You should've said that earlier—when are we leaving?"

"Then you've got yourself a deal," he said as he shook hands with Shinya.

"Good bye Shibuya, hello California!" He exclaimed as he ran upstairs.

"It never made sense for Shinya to love me," Takuya chuckled, his voice breaking twice. "I always knew him better than him."

_**Later in the Morning (after three days)**_

Zoe sprinted down the stairs with her last baggage behind her. Nathan was standing about six feet back from her, his nose wrinkled in distaste, but his face otherwise smooth—masklike. He didn't fool her.

Hostility rolled off of him in waves. It brought back that awful afternoon when she broke up with Takuya, and she felt her chin jerk up defensively in response.

"I've already call the airlines," Nathan rubbed his neck.

Zoe hugged Nathan tightly.

"Dad," she said. "This time I need to stand on my own feet. If I'm in trouble, I'll handle it. You can ground me when I got an accident. I know it's a bad time. So sorry. Love you so much."

"Don't go," Nathan whispered.

Zoe wasn't about to waste time arguing with him. "Please, please, _please _take care of yourself," she said.

"Do you have your wallet—check your ID. _Please _tell me you have your passport with you."

Zoe nodded and then raced up the stairs to get her passport and wallet, her knees weak with gratitude that her mother had wanted to marry Nathan on a beach in Mexico. Of course, like all her plans, it had fallen through. But not before she'd made all the practical arrangements she could for her.

Zoe tore through her room. She stuffed her new wallet, and then grabbed her toothbrush. She hurled herself back down the stairs. The sense of déjà vu was nearly stifling by this point.

Nathan threw the door open for her.

The Taxi idled by the curb. Nathan helped Zoe put her two big suitcases in the trunk of the cab.

Nathan caught her arm. "Call me when you made it to California, okay?"

His green eyes were glistening with tears. A lump filled her throat.

"Dad, don't give me _that _mode of—"

"I can't help it. I really can't. Stay safe. Stay alive. For me."

The engine of the cab purred.

She shook her head, tears splattering her eyes with the sharp motion. She pulled her arm free, and he didn't fight her.

"Don't die, Zoe," he choked out. "Get Ready. Get set. Go."

The thought pushed her past the silent tears; a sob broke out her chest. She threw her arms around his waist and hugged for one too-short moment, burying her tear-wet face against his chest. He put his big hand on the back of her hair, as if to hold her there.

"Bye, Dad." She pulled her hand from her hair, and kissed his cheek. She couldn't bear to look at his face. "Sorry," she whispered.

Then she spun and walked for the car. The door on the passenger side was open and waiting. She threw her backpack over the headrest and slid in, slamming the door behind her.

"Take care Dad!" She turned to shout out the window.

She made her flight with minutes to spare. It's a twelve-hour flight from Shibuya to California, and then an hour drive to her simple but elegant apartment. Flying doesn't bother her; the hour in the Taxi, though, she was a little worried.

When she landed in California, it was sunny. Her primary motivation behind a buying a car, despite the scarcity of her funds, was that she refused to be driven around town in a car.

Eventually she made it to her new home sweet home. She lived in the small, one-bedroom house that Nathan bought with her mother in the early days of their marriage. It took only one trip to get all her stuff inside her apartment. She got the west apartment that faced out over the city. The room was familiar; it had been belonged to her since she was born. The tiled floor, the light blue walls, the rounded ceiling, the yellowed lace curtains around the window—these were all a part of her childhood. The only change Nathan had ever made was adding a desk as she grew. The desk now held a secondhand computer, with the phone line for the modern stapled along the floor to the nearest phone jack. This was stipulation from her father, so that they could stay in touch easily. The rocking chair from her baby days was still in the corner.

There was only one bathroom. She was trying not to dwell too much on that fact.

She unpack and get settled, a feat that would have been altogether impossible for her father. It was nice to be alone, not to have to smile and look pleased; a relief to stare dejectedly out the window at the sun rising and let just a few tears escape. She wasn't on the mood to go on a real crying jag. She would save that for bedtime, when she would have to think about the coming evening.

_**Takuya and Shinya's Apartment **_

"Are you sure we're on the right place?" Shinya whispered.

Their apartment was not large. It was bright room, perfectly round like a huge castle turret…which was probably exactly what it was. Two stories up, long window slits threw rectangle of bright sunlight onto the stone floor below. There were no artificial lights. The furniture in the room were several massive sofas that were spaced unevenly, desk with a flat screen desktop. In the very center of the circle, in a slight depression, was a TV, flat screen TV.

One good for five kitchen, two bathrooms and two bedrooms.

"What kind of an idiotic question is that?" Takuya asked.

"Just answer it. Please."

Takuya stared at Shinya darkly for a long moment. "The way you feel about this room will never change. Well, that depends of course. Of course this is ours—and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"That's all I needed to hear."

Shinya jumped as he sat on the sofa and turned on the TV.

"Hey, hey. What did I tell you before we got here?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We unpack our own things," he replied without taking his eyes off the screen.

"By the way," Takuya said in a casual tone. "We gotta leave."

Shinya didn't say anything, and Takuya seemed to hear skepticism in Shinya's silence while watching.

"Shinya!" Takuya called over.

Shinya lifted his face then turned off the TV. "Okay, okay. I'm unpacking," he said more seriously. "Can I get the west bedroom?"

"I want the west bedroom," Takuya quickly said.

"Why do you want the west bedroom anyway?"

"It has a good view."

"Good point."

If Takuya let himself hope, and it came to nothing…that would kill him. Competition glinted metallic in his brown eyes.

"But—"

"Let's leave it to fate. Heads, I get the west bedroom; Tails, you get the west bedroom.

He flips the coin and it landed heads.

"See ya around," Takuya run quickly with his stuffs in his bedroom but before he steps in his new bedroom, he threw the coin to Shinya. Shinya caught it.

"Hold on to my coin, Shinya." Then Shinya was alone in the front room.

"Coin—some lock, huh." He shook his head, trying to think it through coherently.

After they unpack everything, they followed the right hallway around the corner then rode to the first set of elevators, they were two floors down to the lobby. Before the elevator close, someone caught up.

At first Takuya thought it was a young boy. The newcomer was as tall as Zoe, with lank, pale brown hair trimmed short. The body under the sleeveless jacket—which was darker, almost black—was slim and androgynous. But the face was too pretty for a boy. The wide-eyed, full lipped face would make a Botticelli angel look like a gargoyle. Even allowing for the dull crimson irises.

Her size was so insignificant that the reaction to her appearance confused Takuya and Shinya.

"You?" he exclaimed in recognition and resignation.

Shinya folded his arms across his chest, his expression impassive.

"Me?" the girl finally spoke, her childish voice a monotone.

"Him. Her. Them." Shinya muttered.

"Oh. My. Gosh." The girl pulled Takuya into a hug, he hugged back as well.

"What are you doing here?" Takuya sighed.

"I leave here."

"Shinya and I leave here as well."

"Oh, Shinya, I've missed you so much," Kate squeezed Shinya.

"Do I know her?" Shinya raised an eyebrow.

"Remember Kate? Our childhood friend?" Takuya snapped.

"Oh."

"It's been nearly sixteen years since we last met," Kate chuckled.

"Where does the time go?" Takuya asked himself.

"No doubt you've got some fun planned for yourselves. Right Shinya?"

"I only agreed to come with him for my prize," Shinya admitted.

"Where are you going?" Takuya and Kate said at the same moment.

"I'm going to find a job, find a school near California State University for Shinya, then know my entrance exam for CSU," Takuya explained.

"I'll go with you, besides, I'm also planning to study in CSU," Kate replied quickly.

The elevator ride was long; they stepped out into what looked like a posh office reception area. The walls were paneled in white walls, the floors carpeted in thick, deep green. There were large windows. Pale leather couches were arranged in cozy groupings, and the glossy tables held crystal vases fill of vibrantly colored bouquets. The flowers smell reminded of a funeral home.

In the middle of the room was a high, polished mahogany counter. Takuya gawked in astonishment as the woman behind it.

She was tall, with dark skin and green eyes. She would have been very pretty in any other company—but not here.

She smiled politely welcome. "Good afternoon, Kate," she said. There was no surprise in her face as she glanced at Kate's company. Not Takuya.

Kate nodded. "Gina." She continued toward a set of double doors in the back of the room, and Takuya followed.

As Shinya passed the desk, he winked at the girl at his same age, and she giggled.

"How long have you been here?" Takuya asked.

"Two years," she responded, embracing Takuya. She kissed his cheeks on both sides. Then she looked at Shinya. "I've missed you so much."

"Me, too…" he looked at Kate. "Nice work with the hair."

She laughed—the sound sparkled with delight like a baby's cooing.

"Welcome to hell, Shinya," Shinya greeted himself. "You seem in a better mood, big brother."

"Marginally," Takuya agreed in a flat voice. Kate glanced at Takuya's hard face, and wondered his mood could have been darker before.

Shinya chuckled, and examined Kate as she clung to Takuya's side. "And this is the cause of your mood?" he asked skeptical.

Takuya only smiled, his expression contemptuous. Then he froze.

"Dibs," Shinya called casually from behind.

Takuya turned. Shinya smiled—his hand raised, palm up; he curled his fingers twice, inviting Takuya forward.

Kate touched Takuya's arm. "Still the same," she told them.

They exchanged a long glance. Takuya turned back to Kate.

"I am really pleased to see you again," Kate said, as if nothing had passed.

"Let's not keep my new school waiting," Shinya suggested.

Takuya nodded once.

Takuya and Kate holding hands, led the way down yet another wide, ornate hall—would there ver be an end?

They ignored the doors at the end of the hall—doors entirely sheathed in gold—stopping halfway down the hall and sliding aside a piece of the paneling to expose a plain glass door. Takuya help it open for Kate.

Then when Kate called a Taxi, Takuya held the door open for Kate again.

Shinya wanted to groan when Takuya sat beside Kate making Shinya sit in front.

Kate said the address of where they're going.

"I know the exact school for Shinya to study near the CSU," Kate snapped.

"You know I'm sorry I didn't have the chance to say goodbye to you before I left you in the first place," Takuya said seriously.

"Don't worry I still had a happy life."

Takuya and Kate were both chatting to each other on how their lives went all the way until they reach Shinya's new school.

California High School had a frightening totally of only one thousand, three hundred fifty seven students; there were more than seven hundred people in Shinya's sophomore class. Shinya would be the new boy from the big city, a curiosity, a freak.

"Shinya, you looked like a boy from Shibuya, you could work this to your advantage," Takuya patted Shinya's head.

"But physically, I'd never fit in anywhere."

"Oh c'mon you two! Both of _you _are tan, sporty, brunette—a soccer player—"

"I don't play soccer anymore," Takuya interrupted.

"But you will this year. Both of you will. Both of you love soccer, don't you?"

"All that things can go with living in the valley of the sun," Shinya said.

Instead, Takuya remembered Zoe's emerald eyes. She had always been slender, obviously an athlete; she have the necessary hand-eye coordination to play sports without humiliating herself—nad harming both herself and anyone else who stood close.


	30. Reunion

**So it's been like a month since I haven't updated my story. . .whoa, that's pretty long. Tell you why, got loads of school works not homeworks; i have no idea why they always choose me the leader of our group, so you know what they say, "a leader has a lot of great responsibility". . .well, here goes nothing! ENJOY!**

When Zoe finished putting her clothes in the pine dresser, she took her bag of bathroom necessities and went to the communal bathroom to clean her up after the day of travel. She looked at her face in the mirror as she brushed through her tangled, damp hair. Maybe it was the light, but already she looked sallower, unhealthy. Her skin could be pretty—it was very clear, almost translucent-looking—but it all depended on color.

Facing her pallid reflection in the mirror, she was forced to admit that she misses Takuya so much.

But the cause didn't matter. All that mattered was the effect. And this is just the beginning.

_**In the evening**_

Zoe didn't sleep well that night, even after she was done crying, even though she had already found a job. A Server Waitress at an Italian Restaurant and had an entrance exam at CSU.

_**At Takuya's Apartment**_

"That was tiring!" Takuya laid his back on the couch followed by Shinya.

"At least I got accepted to California High School, and a waiter's not bad for a working student at a night club," Shinya gulped took out two sodas from the fridge.

"The entrance exam was harder than I thought."

"Let's just hope that you pass."

"Kate didn't changed much, she's still the same sweet and fun Kate," Takuya changed the subject.

"I still like Zoe better."

"Do you think Kate still feels the same way about me?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"What if I ask her out?"

"Do whatever you want."

"I feel so alive around her."

"You could mean it…now. But what about tomorrow, when you think about all the reasons you left Kate in the first place? Or next month, when Zoe takes a snap at you?"

Takuya flinched.

"Didn't you feel alive around Zoe?"

Takuya still didn't respond.

"It isn't as if you hadn't thought he first decision through, is it?" Shinya guessed. "You'll end up doing what happened to you and Zoe."

"Zoe and I are over."

"But you still love her."

"No—not anymore until I saw Kate."

"Look, do you love Kate?" Shinya sat beside Takuya and hand him his soda.

Takuya closed his eyes for a minute. _Goodbye Zoe, _he thought.

"I am loving Kate now," he admitted.

Shinya gulped. "Then tell her how you feel about her."

"You're probably right."

"While I'll do my best to like her like my brother does."

Takuya cracked his soda open and Shinya followed and Takuya held it up ceremoniously.

"Here's to start of something new," he toasted.

"And new life," Shinya emphasized.

Both of them grinned and they touched their cans to each other.

_**Later in the morning**_

"How do I look?" Takuya asked, holding twelve roses in front of Kate's front door.

"You look nice," Shinya commented.

Takuya pressed the door bell.

"Good luck," Shinya runs back to his room leaving Takuya half speechless.

"C'mon Takuya. What could possibly happen by ringing a door bell?" He asked himself.

When Kate answered the door, Takuya was relaxed.

"Good morning, Kate!" Takuya greeted as he gave the roses.

"Aw, how sweet of you, thank you," she smiled. "Come in."

Takuya followed Kate inside and it seems like his apartment and her apartment is almost the same, Kate is just ten times better. Kate settled down the dozen roses in the empty flower vase.

"Would you like to care for some tea?" Kate asked politely.

"Nope, I'm cool," Takuya replied. "Actually, I'm here to ask you out."

Kate froze for a brief long second then smiled her angelic smile.

"What took you so long?" She giggled then jumped as she hugged Takuya.

"Is that a yes?" Takuya hugged her back.

"I love you."

Takuya's mouth was on Kate's then, and she couldn't fight him. Not because he was so many thousand times stronger than hers, but because her will crumbled into the dust second their lips met. This kiss was not quite as careful as others she remembered, which suited her just fine. If she was going to rip herself up further, she might as well get as much in trade as possible.

Then Takuya remembered when he first kissed Zoe.

So Kate kissed him back, her heart pounding out a jagged, disjointed rhythm while her breathing turned to panting and her fingers moved greedily to his face. She could feel his marble body against every line of hers, and she was so glad she waited—there was no pain in the world that would have justified missing this. His hands memorized her face, the same way hers were tracing his, and, in the brief seconds when his lips were free, he whispered her name.

When she was starting to get dizzy, he pulled away.

"Wanna get some Star Bucks?" Kate suggested. "You could bring Shinya with us."

"Yeah, sure, of course!" Takuya jumped happily. "I'll be right back in two minutes.

_**After they had Star Bucks**_

"I missed Star Bucks," Takuya sipped at his beverage. "It reminds me of—"

Before Takuya stopped talking before he said it.

"It reminds you of…?" Shinya teased.

"Nothing at all," Takuya grinned as he lied.

Then Takuya bumped into someone then the boy turned around to see who he bumped into.

"Koji! Koichi!" Takuya and Shinya cried together.

"Takuya? Shinya?" Koji and Koichi asked surprisingly at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" The four questioned at the same moment.

Koji grinned while they touched fists to one by one. "I didn't expect you two to see here." Koji chuckled.

"Didn't I tell you we'll me moving out?" Takuya reminded.

"I wasn't paying any attention at all."

Koji and Koichi cocked his head to Kate.

"May I ask who the lovely lady is?" Koichi almost daydreamed.

"Big brother's _girlfriend_," Shinya answered.

"Takuya's little brother just say what?" Koichi responded quickly.

"You're right," Takuya agreed. "_My _one and _only_ girlfriend, Kate." Takuya introduced as he out his hands on Kate's shoulders. "Kate this are Koji and Koichi, my best friends."

Koji shook hands with Kate then he watched as Koichi dropped his smile. "Its okay brother, let it all out," Koji encouraged as he patted Koichi's back.

Koichi slapped the hand away. "I'm fine." He growled.

"What are you doing here?" Shinya repeated the question.

"Isn't it obvious?" Koji put his hands up.

"We're on vacation!" Koichi followed.

"Still, I didn't expect…when I found you, I thought you're going to New York."

"We're saving the last, New York, the best."

"Oh." Kate bit her lip. It took her a second to compose herself.

"You really moved on," Koichi finally managed to tell Takuya.

"Hmm?" Kate murmured.

"I'm surprised you've finally left her behind. Weren't she sort of pet of yours?" Koji's eyes were innocent of any intended offense.

Shinya smiled wryly. "Something like that."

"Hmm?" Kate said, thoughtful again.

"Aren't you going to tell Zoe?" Koji asked, still casual.

"Zoe?" the beautiful velvet voice of Kate whispered anxiously.

Takuya stared at the sound of _her _voice, but it should not have surprised him.

Takuya cleared his throat. "Shinya, why don't you tell Kate about me and _Zoe_?"

"Why him?"

"Because he knows it more than I do."

Kate raised her eyebrows. "That would be pretty cool. So that we could get along better," she smiled. "Wanna be my tour guide Shinya?"

"Arcade?" Shinya asked.

"Sure!"

"See ya later big brother," Shinya waved then Kate gave Takuya a goodbye kiss and then they were gone.

"How come you didn't tell Kate about Zoe?" Koji asked.

"Not here," Takuya replied and then he began walking.

"Oh we get it," Koichi followed Takuya along with Koji. "You wanna forget all about Zoe, is that it?"

"No," Takuya replied.

"Then what is it?" Koji questioned.

"I completely forgot to tell her," Takuya obviously lied.

"Oh really?" Koji and Koichi said in unison.

"Yup," Takuya stopped and faced his friends who were folding their arms.

"Are you sure?" The twins asked together.

"Will you stop doing that?" Takuya hissed.

"Just answer our question," Koji snapped.

"Okay. But after we eat," Takuya conditioned as he went in the Italian followed by Koji and Koichi.

They sat to a table big enough for four in the center of the most crowded area of the dining room.

"But you just ate," Koji reminded him.

"I'm still hungry," Takuya replied.

"Now. Explain." The twins demanded.

"Guys, I don't know everything. It's just like I was hit by a yellow bus then—it all happened so fast."

"What you _do _know, then."

The twins folded their arms across their chests at exactly the same moment. It was a little bit funny, but mostly menacing.

"Tell us what's going on," they demanded again in a growl. "We have a right to know," they muttered.

"You actually have a point but we'll you please stop doing things together it's giving me goose bumps," Takuya begged then sighed. "Kate was my childhood friend. She was very promising. I always…liked her as a friend, I'm afraid of her because she's pretty scary when I don't listen to what she had to say. Before we moved out, she confessed her feeling for me. I apologized to her for leaving her and I said we'll see each other again. I didn't promise her that I'll be back because I don't want to keep her hopes up.

"Do you know that Zoe's like a cancer to me? It's really hard to forget about her because if I am trying it gets worse. Everytime she's away I kept thinking about her. And then when I found and Kate and we looked into each other's eyes. I forgot what it feels to be broken. She made the pain move away.

"Of course, now I know we were something more. But whatever the reason, she's not my first love," Takuya finished in relief.

And then their server arrived, her face expectant.

"Hello. My name is—" the hostess can't believe what she's just seeing. "Takuya? Koji? Koichi?"

The boys turned around to fix their eyes on Zoe. Koji and Koichi was frozen.

"Oh, hey Zoe," Takuya looked back and forth between Koji, Koichi and Zoe's faces, the four were confused and wary. "Zoe's here—Zoe!"

Takuya stood and gave Zoe a powerful bear hug.

"It's good to see you, too boys," Zoe responded.

Then Takuya went back to his seat. "What are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious, I work here," Zoe relaxed her position.

They were sure the suspense was going to make their head explode in about one second. "You mean you leave here?" Koji asked, finally talk.

"A few miles away from here," Zoe answered.

Koji stared at Takuya for one second, and then turned to Koichi.

"Okay, this is weird," Koichi breathed.

"My turn to ask. What are you doing here?" Zoe asked.

"Shinya and I leave here as well, Koji and Koichi are just here for a vacation," Takuya explained.

"Let me just finish my work then we can hang out."

"Sure, sure," the boys muttered.

Zoe flipped a strand of her long blonde hair behind one ear and smiled warmly.

"What can I get you a drink?"

"We'll take three Cokes," Koji answered.

"I'll be right back with that," she assured them another warm smile.

"What?" Takuya asked when Koji and Koichi were watching him.

"I'm sure," Koichi snapped.

"It's a definitely sure," Koji cleared his throat.

"He's still _you know what_?"

"Oh c'mon guys, It's a start of something new," Takuya groaned.

"Oh really?" Koji raised an eyebrow.

"Why'd you hugged her romantically?" Koichi gave Takuya a surprise question.

"It's because I haven't seen her for a week."

"Days," Koji corrected.

"Week."

"Days."

"Week."

"Days or week, it's all the same. What's the difference?" Koji chuckled.

"Everybody's in shock here," Koichi held his head.

"I don't think Zoe will get this right," Koji breathed. "I hope she's very good at understanding this."

"Everything will be okay sooner or later," Takuya snapped.

Right on cue, Zoe appeared with their drinks and a basket of breadsticks.

"May I take your order?" she asked them.

"Um…we'll have whatever you want," Takuya said.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk." Koji muttered to his brother.

"One Pasta. One Lasagna. And one Pizza coming right up!"Zoe smiled then turned around.

While the boys are eating, the twins watched Takuya looking at Zoe like a blinding sun.

"She looks good in that uniform," Takuya blurted then realized what he just said. "Forget I said that."

"Zoe, it's your turn," somebody called her.

"I'll be right up," Zoe shouted back half-running on the stage.

Then the man beside her started playing the guitar and Zoe started singing:

I've been spending some time

thinking I'd be alright

don't know if I could

really make it tonight

lie awake in the dark

come down then I start

thinking about you

is almost breaking my heart

I don't know where I went wrong

or what's going on

baby I feel like

our love's lost tonight

should I stay, should I go

well I really don't know

lately I've been missing you so

baby you don't understand

our love lies lost

but your still

holding my hand

oh and then you walk away

just tonight

I want you to stay

you're turning me on

you turn me around

you turn my whole world

upside down

Zoe felt the color drain out of her face. Her stomach lurched when Takuya never took her eyes off of her. Finally, her number is finish. "Thank you," she choked out.

The Minamoto boys watched silently, reading every unconscious play of emotion on their faces. They were rooted in place, and yet not completely still. Finally, Zoe's work is finally done.

"Yes!" Takuya whispered loudly.

"After three hours," Koji said.

"Yes," Koichi sighed.

"Nobody forced you guys to wait for me," Zoe snapped.

Zoe tried to swallow.

"Hey, do you wanna hang out to the mall?" Zoe

The boys nodded, understanding her question. "Okay!"

Zoe tried to swallow.

While they're walking inside the Mall of California, Takuya's expression was disapproving. The twins could tell he didn't like discussing this in front of Zoe about the news, but he has to. "You can't let this come this far. She'll know sooner or later, Kate and Shinya are here," Koji reminded Takuya.

"Did you boys say something?" Zoe asked.

"Takuya has something to say," Koichi pointed out.

"What?" Takuya blurted. "Uh—Zoe," Takuya said his face suddenly desolate. "But it doesn't matter," Takuya hissed at his friends.

"What 'doesn't matter'?" Zoe raised an eyebrow.

"Zoe!"A little boy shouted from her back. As Zoe turned around she was squeezed by Shinya. Zoe returned the favor.

"I missed you, too, Shinya," Zoe whispered.

"Takuya," Kate said his name. "So you brought a friend. Hi, Zoe."

Takuya put hands on Kate's shoulder.

"Ah . . . Zoe, meet my Kate, my girlfriend," he introduced. "Kate meet my _best friend _Zoe, you know, what Shinya told you about."

"Now this is awkward," Kate shook hands with Zoe. "Shinya told me everything about you."

Zoe smiled.

"I understand your story Takuya, don't worry," Kate winked.

"That make me feel better!" Takuya grinned widely now.

"You two make an adorable couple!" If Zoe's voice hadn't been so hoarse and strained, it might have been a shriek. "You're exactly what Takuya needs, maybe you'll never hurt him just like I did."

"Zoe." Takuya protested.

"I have to go," Zoe said in a low, forceful voice.

"But you just—"

"_Nice _meeting you Kate. It's good to see you boys. I'll see ya when I see ya!" Zoe quickly interrupted Koji.

Zoe walked out of the building with a huge hole punched through her chest again.

"What the heck was that all about?" Kate turned her icy gaze on Koji.

"Why do you ask?" Koichi sighed.

"For curiosity. That's all I know."

"She's just tired, right guys?" Takuya stared sharply at Koji and Koichi.

The twins bridled.

"Yep. She had a pretty tough day," Koji lied.

"She have a few advantages, you goods. She's—"

Koichi quickly covered Shinya's mouth.

"He meant to say is, 'tired'," Takuya gulped.

_**Zoe's Apartment**_

"Stupid," Zoe said, and a strange, fierce half-smile spread across her face. "Stupid _emotion._"

Zoe was holding the locket that Takuya before they leave Thailand. Where all good memories were locked inside of it.

Zoe stared in the mirror, frozen in broken, at Takuya's new expression. His face was alive with exultation, all despair wiped clean his prefect features with his new lover.

She grinned at the mirror.

"Everything happens for a reason, of course," she told herself in a smug voice."That's inconvenient, but, all thing considered, I'll take it."

Zoe decided to walk at the beach tonight.

"As I said, it's really amazing how time passed by so fast," Zoe held so tightly to the locket it hurt her palm.

She's alone so she could do anything she wants; the sun's already down so she could do whatever she wishes to.

Zoe threw the padlock as far as she could to the beach. Zoe kept her eyes closed. And felt the guilt of throwing away the padlock.

"Excellent!" she hissed herself.

Zoe left her shoes at the sand and dive into the ocean. She never dreamed she would do this kind of thing. That the true menace was lurking far below her, under heaving surf.

"Sure it's just a stupid lock, but it's from a friend of mine," Zoe looked under the sea many times.

Until she found what she was looking for. But then it felt like the waves were fighting over her, jerking her back and forth between them as if determined to share by pulling her into halves. She knew the right way to avoid riptide: swim parallel to the beach rather than struggling for the shore. But the knowledge did her a little good when she didn't know which way the shore was anymore and she had no idea that the waves could be that strong.

She gripped tightly on the lock.

**I'm sleepy! ZZzzzzzzzzzzz**


	31. Selfish

**Finally, I get to rest all day and finish the next chapter. I just got a wonderful mood yesterday so I finished the half of it. It's really weird I just slept 1 am and wake up 7 pm. Well, at least I'm full charge now. Oooh, and I'm going to make a few song fics today so better check it out or else. . .new, I got nothing! Okay, good night. Zzzzzzzzzzzz **

The angry water was black in every direction; there was no brightness to direct upward. Gravity was all-powerful when it competed with the air, but it had nothing on the waves—Zoe couldn't feel a downward pull, a sinking in any direction. Just the battering of the current that flung her around and round like a rag doll.

She fought to keep her breath in, to keep her lips locked around her last store of oxygen.

The cold of the water was numbing her arms and legs. She didn't feel the buffering so much as before. It was more of just dizziness now, a helpless spinning in the water.

She forced her arms to continue reaching, her legs to kick harder, though every second she was facing a new direction. It couldn't be any good. What was the point?

She didn't want to fight anymore. And it wasn't the light-headedness, or the cold, or the failure of her arms as the muscles gave out in the exhaustion, that made her content to stay where she was. She was almost happy that it was over. This was easier death than others she'd faced. Oddly peaceful.

She thought briefly of the clichés; about how she was suppose to see her life flash before her eyes. She was so much luckier. Who wanted to see rerun, anyway?

And she had no will to fight. It was so clear, so much more defined than any memory.

Her ears were flooded with the freezing water. Why would she fight when she was so happy where she was? Even as her lungs burned for more air and her legs cramped the icy cold, she was content. She'd forgotten what real happiness felt like.

Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable.

The current won at the moment, shoving her abruptly against something hard, a rock invisible in the gloom. It hit her solidly across the chest, slamming into her like at iron bar, and the breath whooshed out of her lungs, escaping in a thick cloud of silver bubbles. Water flooded down her throat, choking and burning. The iron bar seemed to be dragging her, pulling her away, deeper into the dark, to the ocean floor.

_Goodbye, I love you, _was her last thought.

**At that moment, her head broke the surface.**

How disorienting. Zoe'd been sure she was sinking.

The current wouldn't let up. It was slamming her against the rocks; they beat against the center of her back sharply, rhythmically, pushing the water from her lungs. It gushed out in amazing volume, absolute torrents pouring from her mouth and nose. The salt burned and her lungs burned from her throat were too full of water to catch a breath and the rocks were hurting her back. Somehow she stayed in one place, though the waves still heaved around her. She couldn't see anything but water everywhere, reaching for her face.

"Breathe!" a voice, wild with anxiety, ordered, and she felt a cruel stab of pain when she recognized the voice—because it was Takuya.

She could not obey. The waterfall pouring from her mouth didn't stop long enough for her to catch a breath. The black, icy water filled her chest, burning.

The rock smacked into her back again, right between her shoulder blades, and another volley of water chocked its way out of her lungs.

"Breathe, Zoe! C'mon!" Takuya begged.

Black spots bloomed across her vision, getting wider and wider, blocking out the light.

The rock struck her again.

The rock wasn't cold like the water; it was hot on her skin. She realized it was Takuya's hand, trying to beat the water from her lungs. The iron bar that dragged her from the sea was also . . . warm . . . Her head whirled, the black spots covered everything.

Was she dying, again? She didn't like it—this wasn't as good as the last time. It was only dark now, nothing worth looking at here. The sound of the crashing waves, faded into the black and became quiet, even _whoosh _that sounded like it was coming from the inside of her ears. . .

"Zoe?" Takuya asked, his voice still tense, but not as wild as before. "Zoe, can you hear me?"

The contents of her head swished and rolled sickeningly, like they'd joined the rough water . . .

"How long has she been unconscious?" someone else asked.

The voice that was not Takuya's shocked her, jarred her into a more focused awareness.

She realized she was still. There was no tug of the current on her—the heaving was inside her head. The surface under her was flat motionless. It felt grainy against her bare arms.

"I don't know," Takuya reported, still frantic. His voice was very close. Hands—so warm they had to be his—brushed wet hair from her cheeks. "A few minutes? It didn't take long to tow her to the beach."

The quiet _whooshing _inside her ears was not the waves—it was the air moving in and out of her lungs again. Each breath burned—the passageways were as raw as if she'd scrubbed them out with steel wool. But she was breathing.

"She's breathing. She'll come around. . . . "Zoe recognized Koji's voice this time.

"You think its okay to move here?" Koichi asked.

"She didn't hurt her back or anything when she fell?"

"I don't know," Takuya answered.

They hesitated.

She tried to open her eyes. It took her a minute, but then she could see the dark clouds. "Takuya?" she croaked.

Takuya's face blocked out of the sky. "Oh!" he gasped, relief washing over his features. His eyes were wet. "Oh, Zoe! Are you okay? Can you hear me? Do you hurt anywhere?"

"J-just m-my throat," she stuttered.

"Let's get you out of here, then," Koji said. Takuya slid his arms under her and lifted her without effort—like picking up an empty box. His chest was bare and warm; he hunched his shoulders. Her head lolled over his arm. She stared vacantly back toward the furious water, beating the sand behind him.

"You got her?" She heard Koichi ask him.

"Yeah, I'll take it from here. Get home. I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks, guys."

Her head was still rolling. None of his words sunk in at first. Nobody answer. There was no sound, and she wondered if the twins are already gone.

The water licked and writhed up the sand after us as Takuya carried her away, like it was angry that she'd escaped. As she stared wearily, a spark color caught her unfocused eyes—a small flash of fire was dancing on the black water, far out in the bay. The image made no sense, and she wondered how conscious she really was. Her head swirled with the memory of the black, churning water—of being so lost that she couldn't find up or down. So lost . . . but somehow Takuya. .

"How did you find me?" Zoe rasped

"I was searching for you," he told her. He was half-jogging, up the beach toward the road. "I was trying to call you while I was walking at the beach with Koji and Koichi then we found your shoes. . ." He shuddered. "Why would you do something like that, Zoe? Didn't you notice the big waves out here? Couldn't you at least tell me you're going for a swim?" Anger filled his tone as the relief faded.

"I threw the locket you gave me at the sea and I realized it's the latest memory I have for you, so I dive into the ocean and searched for it. . . .Sorry," she muttered as she showed the padlock that she notice she never let go. "It was stupid."

"Yeah, it was _really _stupid," he agreed as he nodded. "Look, do you mind saving the stupid stuff for when I'm around? I won't be able to concentrate if I think you're committing suicide behind my back."

"Sure," she agreed. "No problem." She sounded chain-smoker. She tried to clear her throat—and then winced; the throat-clearing felt like stabbing a knife down there. "I'm sorry about what happened while ago. I was shock about. . .you _know_." It was her turn to shudder, right next to his ridiculous body heat.

Takuya shook his head. He was still more running than walking as he headed up the road to her apartment. "Yeah. Your Dad told me the exact address of your home—I have my advantage here. I raced at the beach—I was afraid you were going to double-swimming. I guess I was right, you were spending so much time on the beach. . ." He trailed off, a catch on his throat.

"Koji and Koichi came back with you. . .is Shinya and Kate at home, too?" She hoped they weren't still out searching for Takuya.

"Yeah. Sort of."

She tried to read his expression, squinting. His eyes were tight with worry and pain.

The words that made sense before suddenly did.

"Where are you studying? Have you taken your entrance exam?" Her voice jumped up an octave, sound strange with the hoarseness.

"California State University. And yes. I'll get the result next week. I think I'll pass. It's easier than I thought."

"CSU?" Zoe shook her head, trying to absorb what he was saying. "That's funny, I'm also going to study there."

"Yeah. Pretty weird, too. I'm trying for the College of Engineering, Computer Science and Technology. "

"I'm trying out for College of Business and Accountancy . . . Are you sure Kate's going to be okay with this?

Takuya's eyes tightened again. "She looks so great right now."

Abruptly, she felt really sick with guilt—felt truly horrible about the brainless swimming issue. Nobody needed to be worrying about her right now. What a stupid time to be reckless.

"What can I do?" she asked.

She hadn't realized they were already back to Zoe's apartment until he walked through the door.

"Lock the door next time," Takuya snapped. "You can stay _here_," Takuya said as he dumped her on the couch. "I mean it—right here. I'll get you some dry clothes."

She let her eyes adjust to her room while Takuya banged around in her bedroom.

Takuya was back in seconds. He threw a pile of gray cotton at her. "This will be good for you, and it's the best you've got today. I'll, er, step outside so you can change."

"Don't' go anywhere. I'm too tired to move yet. Just stay with me."

Takuya sat on the floor next to her, his back against the couch. She wondered when he's slept last. He looked as exhausted as she felt.

He leaned his head on the cushion next to hers and yawned. "Guess I could rest for a minute."

His eyes closed. She let hers slide shut, too.

Zoe's sofa was right next to the radiator, and she was warm now, despite her soaked clothes. Her lungs ached in a way that pushed her toward unconsciousness rather than keeping her awake. She wondered vaguely if it was wrong to sleep. . .or was she getting drowning mixed up with concussions. . . ? Takuya began softly snoring, and the sound of it soothed like a lullaby. She fell asleep quickly.

For the first time in a very long time, her dream was just a normal dream. Just a blurred wandering through old memories—blinding visions of Shibuya sun, her mother's face, a ramshackle tree house, a faded quilt, a wall of mirrors, a flame on the black water. . .she forgot each of them as soon as the picture changed.

The last picture was the only one that stuck in her head. It was meaningless—just a set on a stage. A balcony at night, painted moon hanging in the sky. She watched the girl in her nightdress lean on the railing and talk to herself.

Meaningless. . . but when she slowly struggled back to consciousness, Juliet was on her mind.

Takuya was still asleep; he'd slumped down to the floor and his breathing was deep and even. The house was darker now than before, it was black outside the window. She was tiff, but warm and almost dry. The inside of her throat burned with every breath she took.

She was going to have to get up—at least get to a drink. But her body just wanted to lie here limp, to never move again.

Instead of moving, she stood to flicked the light on. She blinked momentarily blind. Takuya startled awake, gasping and jumping to his feet.

"Sorry," Zoe grunted. "Did I wake you?"

Takuya stared after her for a minute, then Zoe came to sit on the floor beside him. He out his face in his hands. She rubbed his shoulder, whishing she could think of anything to say.

After a long moment, Takuya caught her hand and held it to his face.

"How are you feeling? Are you okay? I probably should have taken you to a doctor or something." He sighed.

"Don't worry about me," she croaked.

He twisted his head to look at her. "You don't look so good."

"I don't feel so good, either, I guess."

"I'll buy you some medicines—you're probably going to catch a cold."

"Right."

She lay listlessly on the sofa while she waited for him. She felt like peeping tom.

It didn't take Takuya long. He helped her up from the couch without speaking, keeping his arm around her shoulder when she drank her medicine.

"How will you get home?" She asked.

"I'll take a taxi. Don't worry about me."

And then, as clearly as if he were in immediate danger, Zoe's velvet voice whispered.

"Be happy," she told him.

Takuya froze.

"Oh yeah. . .I almost forgot. Its Shinya's birthday tomorrow, come at my place tomorrow. The twins will pick you up."

"I'll be there."

"Good night."

It was quiet after that. Her mind was alert, and it was working very hard and very fast.

What if? What was the right thing to do?

She couldn't imagine her life without Takuya now—she cringed away from the idea of even trying to imagine that. Somehow, he'd become essential to her survival. But to leave thing the way they were . . . was that cruel, as Koji had accused?

She remembered wishing that she never left Takuya. She realized now that all she really wanted was a claim on him. She felt very safe and happy when he held her. It just felt nice—warm and comforting and familiar. Safe. Takuya was a safe harbor.

She could stake a claim. She had that much within her power.

She'd have to tell him everything, she knew that. It was the only way to be fair. She'd have to explain right, so that he'd know she wasn't settling, that he was much too good for her. He already knew she was broken, that part wouldn't surprise him, but he'd need to know the extent of it. She'd have to admit she was crazy—but everything's already too late, he had made a decision.

But, even as she recognized that necessity, she knew he would take her in spite of it all. He wouldn't even pause to think it through.

She would have to commit to this—commit as much of her as there was left, every one of the broken pieces. It was the only way to be fair to him. Would she? Could she?

Would it be wrong to try make Takuya happy? Even if the love she felt for him was more than anything else of what she was capable of, even if her heat was far away, wandering and grieving, would it be so very wrong?

She stared at the padlock and held it tightly. "Sorry. I know you don't feel exactly the way I do, Takuya. I swear I don't mind. I'm just so glad you're okay I could sing—and that's something no one wants to hear." She laughed her throaty laugh.

Her breathing kicked up a notch, sanding the walls of her throat.

Wouldn't enough friendly emotion linger for him to want that much for her? She though he would. He wouldn't begrudge her this: giving just a small bit of the love he didn't want to her friend Takuya. After all, it wasn't the same love at all.

She knew without any doubt exactly what would follow. . .It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight.

But could she do it? Could she betray her absent heart to save her pathetic life?

Butterflies assaulted her stomach.

_**Party**_

"Happy birthday, Shinya!" Shinya looked down.

There was a table with a white cloth draped over it, holding a birthday cake, a stack of glass plates, and a small pile of silver wrapped presents.

The twins, Koji and Koichi—were the closest to Shinya. Koji hugged him tightly, and then Koichi put his arm around Shinya's shoulders.

"Thanks, guys," he stage-said.

Takuya and Kate stood behind them. Kate smile and glared at him. Takuya's face was stretched into a huge grin.

"I wonder when you're going to change," Takuya said with a mock disappointment. "I expected a perceptible difference."

"Thanks a lot, big brother," Shinya said.

Zoe laughed, "I have to step in for a second—Don't do anything funny while you're brother's gone."

"I'll try."

"Time to open presents," Kate declared. Zoe's put her hand under Shinya's elbow and towed her to the table with the cake and the shiny packages.

"Open it." Zoe took a picture of Kate and Shinya with a big, square silver box.

The box was a little heavy. The tag on top said that it was from Koji and Koichi. Self-consciously, he tore the paper off and then stared at the soccer ball.

"Whoa. . .thanks!"

Koji actually cracked a smile. Koichi laughed.

"Thanks, Koji and Koichi!" he called more loudly.

He heard his booming laugh, and he couldn't help laughing, too.

"Open mine, and Takuya's next," Kate said. She held a small m flat square in her hand.

After opening Shinya's presents, Zoe took a lot of shots with her digital camera. They opened a few Cokes, and began eating their dinner and deserts while singing at the karaoke.

"I dedicate this song for you Takuya," Kate assured Takuya. He brushed a strand of hair from her face, leaving Zoe's skin tingling from Takuya's touch to Kate.

Zoe inhaled deeply and turned to Shinya. "They look cute together, don't they?" She sighed.

Shinya chuckled with delight.

Then Kate began singing:

_**How can I find something**__**  
**__**That two can take**__**  
**__**Without stumbling as we**__**  
**__**Walk into our future's wake**__**  
**__**I'm like a broken record**__**  
**__**That you can play**__**  
**__**Repeating as if it matters**__**  
**__**Everything I want to say**__**  
**__**I'll be all right**__**  
**__**As long as it matters**__**  
**__**As long as you're here with me now**_

Takuya and Zoe had a flashback.

"Zoe, c'mon!" Koji yelled form the outside. "You gotta see this!"

Zoe peeked to the outside through her window.

"What is he _doing_now?" She groaned as Takuya started singing:

_**I'll be all right**_

_**As long as it matters**_

_**As long as you're here with me now**_

Unnaturally still, Zoe waited perfectly motionless in where she was sitting. Everybody noticed that except for Kate.

Zoe's knees trembled for a second. After the party, Zoe hurled herself at Shinya.

"Happy birthday, Shinya!" she cried as she slammed into him.

"Do you still love big brother?" There was a strange mingling of relief and confusion in his voice.

Zoe stared at Takuya with Kate, the twins were taking pictures with her camera.

Zoe locked her arms around him, gasping. It wasn't like anything else. Her memory hadn't done it justice.

She didn't notice when the gasping turned into something else—she only realized she was sobbing when he rubbed her back in a gentle rhythm, waiting for her to get control of herself.

"I'm. . .sorry," she blubbered. "I'm just. . . .so happy. . .that you've grown!"

"It's okay, Zoe. Everything's okay."

"Yes," she brawled. And, for once, it seemed that way.

Shinya sighed. That brought her up short and stopped sobs. She realized it's getting late, and why she's still not leaving.

"Hey, hey. Can I have my camera back?"

"Here," Takuya gave it to her hand. "Get home _safely._"

Zoe pursed her lips as she nodded.

**Kate's Apartment**

"Do you still love Zoe?" Kate asked.

"Why?" Takuya questioned.

"Just curious."

"You mean you're doubting," he corrected.

"Because you're staring at her like a blinding sun."

"I promised to love you no matter what, right?" his voice imitated his so perfectly that Kate froze in shock while the pain ripped through her torso. "My future is _you_," he continued to quote her. "Please don't done damage."

"But just because I'm not looking, doesn't mean I don't _see_," she went on. "I wasn't keeping tabs on you, I swear, Takuya. It's just that I'm already attuned to you. . .when I see Zoe, I didn't think, I just feel like she's going to take you away from me. I knew this is wrong, but I couldn't _help it_. And somehow, you drive up." She shook her head, this time in confusion. Her voice was strained. "I was jealous of Zoe. . .yesterday. . .I wish I was the one drowning. I don't care what will happen. I don't know what you could do to yourself. But I know what that could do to you."

"You don't have _any _idea what that could do to me."

Takuya hugged her romantically, even after he realized the misunderstanding she was under, just to hear the perfect bell tone of her voice. But it was time to interrupt.

"Kate, I love you more."

She eyes him dubiously. "Are you saying you love Zoe?"

"No, but. . . ." he grimaced. "I did but not anymore because I don't want to."

Her expression hardened.

"Why wouldn't I love you?" He insisted. "You looked like. . .fun, and I was never bored around you . . . ."

She waited.

"I never stop thinking about you. I know what will affect you. Actually, not a second I forget about you."

Kate didn't buy it. She could see that she still thought he still loves Zoe. He decided to redirect. "I'm sorry if I upset you."

She cocked her head to the side, distracted.

He continued. "It's true that I love you more than anything."

Kate frowned in perplexity. "I'm sorry I doubted you."

"There's only one thing to do."

Kate watched curiously as an enigmatic range of emotions flitted across Takuya's face. Something was bothering him—but she wasn't sure.

She froze.

"What's that?" she muttered.

"We trust each other."

"It sounded more than okay."

"Deal or no deal? Take it. . .or leave it?"

"Fine. . .deal."

"Kate, Zoe's. . .sort of my best friend, I guess. At least, I'm with you. . ."

Kate nodded, seeming preoccupied.

"What?"

"I don't know," she said. "I think I'm going to have a head ache."

"Well, drink some medicines tonight, at least."

She rolled her eyes. "You were a fool to think you could survive alone."

"I survived," he pointed out.

She was thinking of something else. "So, greet Shinya for me."

"Shinya is. . .knocked out."

She heard the reluctance in his voice, and her eyebrows rose.

Takuya gnawed on his lip for a second.

"Look, I'll take you to dinner. . .tomorrow night," Takuya said. "And then we'll go wherever you want."

Kate gawked at him for a moment, and then recovered herself, blinking rapidly. "Well, I guess that would make me feel better," she muttered. "But I still don't like Zoe around you," she frowned, her porcelain forehead creasing.

"I'll try."

"I'm feeling really awful," she said absently, still frowning. "I'll see you tomorrow then. Good night."

"Sweet dreams."


	32. Author's Note

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

_Dear Reader,_

I'm sorry to say that I won't be updating for long due to a lot of homeworks, projects, quizzes and exams to do. I will try to write the next chapter of the story when I have free time. Of course, I am very stressed because of bullies in my service and insane school works. My quarter exam is on thursday and friday and I need to study very, very hard. And I have a test on elective math tomorrow and I really need to get a high score because I have a lot of low grades ONLY in this subject. Well, at least it's not a major subject.

Please understand to those who are and were in high school. You know the greedy and repulsive school works? Yeah, now I know why High School is Hell. That's why it's cool! Woohoo!

It is my sad duty to write down that the next chapter is going to wait, but there is nothing stopping me from writing this story at once.

Oh yeah, before I completely forgot, don't forget to read my song fictions at 'World of Song Fics' . . .if you prefer that sort of thing.

And I have an upcoming story after I finish the story I am Your Life. . .of course I won't tell the plot. I want it to be a surprise to you readers.

Be cheerful guys. Strive to be happy.

_With all due respect,_

_**.aUgOuX!**_

**juliyadpascua**


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